Ex Factor

by Varsha Dixit

  The concern on Ojas’s face slipped as he gazed at her. His eyes softened as he saw the soft look on Gina’s face. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.

  Gina felt the heat and strength from Ojas’s body flow into her. She felt profoundly connected to him. Something changed between them. Their eyes stayed locked to each other and the air between them grew heavy. Ojas’s eyes slipped to her lips and his fingers tightened around her waist. There was hunger in his gaze. Gina’s lips responded by parting.

  One couldn’t say who turned first but in seconds, Gina was wrapped in Ojas’s arms. His stick clattered to the ground. His head came down just as Gina raised her face to him. Ojas was about to kiss his wife when he saw Gina’s wet lashes sticking to each other, her nose that was still red at the tip. He dropped his arms, like he was scalded, and backed away Bumping into the kitchen counter in his haste.

  “I have some bottles in the bathroom.” Ojas’s voice came out strangled.

  Gina opened her eyes. The wounded look in her eyes nearly made Ojas reach out to her again. No woman felt as good or as right in his arms as Gina did. I can’t screw her happiness again. I can’t take advantage of her vulnerable state.

  “Cool!” Color flooded Gina’s cheeks as she swiftly turned back to the sink and blindly reached for another bottle to empty. What the hell was I doing, Gina thought, gnawing her lower lip. Her body was throbbing and she had to clamp her legs together. Suddenly, there was so much pent-up sexual energy in her body that she felt like pushing herself onto him. Oh God, I might attack him.

  “Probably in the bedroom too,” Ojas said, walking away from Gina as fast he could.

  Gina silently groaned at the word ‘bedroom.’ The memory of their vigorous lovemaking was weakening her boundaries. “I have to leave too. Soon.” Her voice was feeble.

  Ojas stopped at door of the kitchen. He cleared his throat and did not look at Gina. “Can I call you or text you sometime?”

  “Absolutely not!” Gina blurted. “I mean, it’s not healthy for any of us.” She gave him a hurried glance. “The past belongs in the past.”

  “Therapist talk?” Ojas asked dryly. He adored this flustered, awkward Gina.

  “Hmmm!” Gina kept her head bent and focused on the upturned bottle she was shaking hard so it would empty faster.

  “Don’t worry, Gina, I won’t hit on you,” Ojas said quietly, his fingers kneading the knob on his stick.

  “Hmmm!” Gina kept shaking the bottle.

  “I’m not man enough for you or for any other woman.”

  Gina heard Ojas’s words but they did not really register as she was busy culling her body’s feverish attraction toward Ojas.

  After Gina left, Ojas went to his office. On a whim, he opened the drawer where he had placed the gun. A wry smile pressed his lips side to side. The gun was gone.

  Around the same time, Gina requested the cab driver to stop the car as they were passing the Z bridge. She got off walked to the side of the bridge and opened her purse. Taking out the gun she had stolen from Ojas’s office she dropped it in the dark water of the Mula-Mutha river.

  Chapter 17

  Six months later

  Kyra’s Apartment, Mumbai

  “Damn it, this is hard!”

  Gritting her teeth, Gina supported her hand with the other as she applied the mascara. It had been a while since she had put on so much makeup. She brought the mascara brush down and pulled in a few deep breaths. Carelessly, she shoved the mascara brush back in its silver container and flopped on her bed, dressed only in her undergarments and slip. She stared at herself in the mirror that faced her bed. The girl who stared back at her looked nothing like the Gina who had lived in Singapore. This one had a fuller face, recently trimmed long dark locks with new highlights, a glowing skin, some color on her cheeks, sparkle in her eyes, and soft lips that were no longer dry and pale.

  Is this really me?

  Gina let her eyes wander over her new digs, decorated in aesthetic shades of pastel colors. Her bedroom housed a comfortable bed, an oversized mint-green bean bag, and a Birch desk with motifs engraved on the sides.

  The last six months for Gina had been eventful, to say the least. Her family had welcomed her back with much love except her older sister, who, frankly speaking, had never cared for her.

  Gina had returned to India and stayed with her parents for two months before taking up a job in a start-up in Mumbai.

  Kyra, who travelled often for work, had coerced Gina to reside with her. It had not taken much coercing once Kyra had reluctantly agreed to let Gina pay rent.

  The Wallflowers were back together.

  Meher would visit them every weekend she could and Doyal would often join them, rarely in person but frequently on video calls.

  Doyal’s career was growing rapidly. The other Wallflowers couldn’t be happier for Doyal, who was finally harvesting the benefits of all the hard work she had put in for so many years.

  In all this, Gina only had one regret: Ritesh.

  Ritesh and her relationship had not survived her migration from Singapore. Gina had tried to make Ritesh understand why moving back to India was important, why she needed to be close to those she loved—her family, her best friends, her country.

  However, Ritesh was adamant that Gina should stay in Singapore and visit India on and off. During their last argument when Ritesh had ordered Gina to listen to him and his mother for it was her duty and that she cut her ties from her friends and distance herself from her parents, Gina had finally realized what everyone else close to her had been hinting at—Ritesh and she were a royal mismatch. Her engagement to Ritesh was a decision borne out of despair and desperation.

  Gina had walked over to Ritesh while he was still spewing hate against the Wallflowers. She had taken his hand, surprising him for he had stopped talking.

  Gina had handed him back the gold ruby engagement ring that she rarely wore, murmured a sincere ‘sorry’ and ‘goodbye,’ and had ended her ties with Ritesh.

  Ritesh’s mother had called Gina up and given her an earful. Gina let the older lady lecture her without any interruptions, then repeated the same words she had to the son and simply hung up.

  Two months later, Ritesh had called her up, quite smug about his upcoming nuptials. Gina had expressed genuine happiness for him and had him promise that he and his wife would visit her whenever they came to Mumbai. Ritesh had sounded confused as he ended the call but Gina had felt like a load had rolled off her chest. Ritesh was okay. She had sent him a large congratulatory bouquet.

  Still seated on the bed, Gina tapped her front tooth with a manicured nail. Then she rubbed her eyebrows with the thumb and ring finger of one hand. She was procrastinating.

  The first two three months had passed reveling in the love of her family and friends. However, as one tiny lost piece can undo the largest of puzzles, a feeling grew in Gina. Something was missing in her life; her circle of life wasn’t meeting on the ends. What frustrated Gina most was that she could not pin point what it was. It was elusive to define yet omnipresent as an emotion.

  Gina started having a recurring dream since the last few months. In her dream, she was holding a perfectly round shiny pristine white balloon. The more she looked at it the more perfect and glowing it appeared. Holding and looking at the balloon really made her happy. She was in love with her white, shiny balloon.

  But then in her dream, Gina would start frowning as she noticed that the balloon was growing smaller and smaller in her hands. It was losing air bit by bit. Gina turned the balloon to stem the leak, but she couldn’t find the spot. As the balloon grew smaller, Gina’s desperation increased. Before the balloon completely deflated, Gina woke with a start. Her heart would be thumping, still caught in the awfulness and anxiety she was experiencing in the dream. Gina would have trouble falling back to sleep.

  She increased her workout time, started drinking green tea before bedtime for it made her sleepy, yet the dream had an invincible will of its own
. It came when it wanted.

  Only if I knew what is missing! Why do I feel suddenly low when I’m laughing the hardest? There is a part of me missing but which one?

  Sometimes, Gina would wake up in the night, shocked to find her hand searching the other side of the bed.

  What is wrong with me? There is nothing else I need.

  Gina walked to the window in her room that looked down at the street. The street below was busy as every street in the city, teeming with traffic and people. She looked up and saw the jungle of concrete that surrounded her.

  I miss the greenery and the trees!

  Gina traced a pattern on the glass with her fingers. She loved open spaces, the smell of flowers, the feel of grass tickling the feet, a vibrant blue-sky overhead. She glanced at her image in the glass. Reflected along with the city lights, Gina thought that was not an image of herself that she associated with.

  I can’t see myself living in this city for more than a few years.

  A knock on the door interrupted Gina’s thoughts.

  “I’m getting ready, Ky.”

  “G-spot, the traffic is horrible at this time.” Kyra’s voice came from the other side of the door.

  “Two minutes!” Gina said, walking away from the window. She applied some gloss to her lips and her favorite perfume on her wrists and behind her ears. She slipped on her dress, fluffed her hair, stepped into a sparkling pair of wedges, and she was ready. Gina stepped out of her room and into the living room. “Do I pass?”

  Kyra, seated on the sofa with her laptop, looked up and whistled. “Indeed G-Spot, flying fucking colors and all!” She raised the glass of wine kept next to her.

  “Thanks!” Gina closed the door behind her. “You should come along.”

  “And play third wheel on a date?”

  “On a blind date.” Gina shrugged.

  “Well, you do kind of know him.”

  Gina grimaced, “Well, not really!”

  Two weeks ago, Gina had gone to Kyra’s office to drop off a new set of house keys as Kyra had lost her set again. That is where she had been introduced to Kyra’s colleague Subodh Banerjee. “Subodh is your colleague. I just said a quick ‘hi’ to him that day.”

  “You had him at ‘Hi. He’s smitten with you.!” Kyra put her laptop aside. “He’s your type—all corporate and proper. Ties and jackets, two-BHK, two-kids kind.”

  Gina put her hand out. “It’s just dinner, Ky! You promised.”

  Kyra gave her trademark wide smile. “I’m kidding, Ginny. Go and have fun. Subodh is a good guy.”

  Gina rested her hand on the top of a chair. “I feel weird going out on a date, knowing very well I’m not really looking to date.”

  “Don’t overthink this. You might find what you are looking for when you are not looking at all.” Kyra recoiled. “Gross! I sound like a Valentine’s Day card.”

  “You do!” Gina laughed and walked to the table at the side of the room. She picked up her purse and checked to make sure it had everything she might need. “Should I get you something?”

  Kyra waved her off. “Nah! I’m good. But listen, if you feel the slightest bit uncomfortable just leave.”

  Gina paused. “I feel a bit…a bit slutty,” she confessed.

  Kyra spit her wine back in the glass. “Excuse me?”

  Gina rolled her tongue over her teeth. “As in, I’m doing things the other way around. First, I was married, then engaged, and now I’m going for a date. The only thing left is a live-in.”

  Kyra smacked her head in exasperation. “That is the problem with women. You are judging yourself by society’s standards. In my eye, you are a hero.”

  Gina smiled. “Me? A hero?”

  Kyra nodded. “Life dealt you lemons and you made meringue pie.”

  Gina raised an eyebrow. “Does that have lemon?”

  “I don’t know. I’m not Martha-fucking-Stewart.” Kyra grinned. “You had a setback, you moved countries, you made a life for yourself alone. It wasn’t easy for someone who was as spoiled as you were. Not in a bad way, but you did have a cushioned life. You know what I mean. You did good, Ginny.”

  Gina inhaled. “I’m going to leave before you have me next to you on the sofa, crying.”

  “Happy tears?” Kyra asked above the rim of the glass.

  “Happy tears!” Gina said as she opened the front door.

  “Oh Gina, you are in live-in relationship.” Kyra said slyly.

  Gina caught on Kyra’s meaning. “Nope. Till we aren’t screwing each other, it’s not a live-in.”

  “If you would be so lucky, biatch,” Kyra teased.

  Gina laughed. “Right back at you…” she hesitated and said, “hoe.”

  Gina closed the door to Kyra’s whoop.

  Chapter 18

  Gina paid the taxi driver and turned around, gazing at the Italian restaurant in front of her. She passed under an arched trellis with white flowers wrapped around it. Going up the few marble steps, she walked to the large double paneled black doors. A doorman opened it for her and welcomed Gina with a smile.

  Gina stepped inside, instantly loving the pleasant smells that greeted her. Cheese, garlic, and coffee! She glanced around. The interiors were a pleasing combination of blues and grays with interesting lighting. Sounds of conversation and music blended to make a nice atmosphere. Gina stood to the side of the entrance, waiting for Subodh.

  “Gina!”

  Gina froze on hearing the voice and then she pivoted sharply to her right.

  Ojas stood in front of her.

  Gina could only blink as she gazed at him. Ojas looked like he had stepped out of the pages of the past. Thick prep cut hair parted at one side, straight wide shoulders, wide forehead free of scowl lines, alert charcoal eyes, clean shaved high cheekbones, and a full lower lip creased in an incredulous smile. Even the scar seemed to have faded since their last meeting. He wore a pale lavender shirt rolled at the elbows, a silver and black watch at his wrist, and in his right hand a thin silver walking stick. Tailored black pants sat well on his lean muscled body.

  Ojas did some studying of his own. Gina had changed much since he had seen her last. Gone were the shadows under her obsidian eyes that were fringed by thick curling lashes. Her skin was no longer pale or dull, it positively glowed. Her cheeks were fuller and rosy. Her mouth was colored in a dull shade of red and then he saw the color of her dress and a smile lifted one end of his mouth. Gina was wearing a pale lavender sheath dress that ended just above her knees. The color of her dress matched the color of his shirt. A thin silver bracelet around her wrist and a thin silver necklace were the only jewelry she wore. Ojas could not think of a single word to say at the moment. He could only stare at Gina; she had literally taken his breath away. Ojas was sure there wasn’t a woman more beautiful on the planet than Gina.

  Still gazing at each other, Gina and Ojas took a step toward each other, unsure of what to say. But there was no angst in their gaze. Each seemed to feel something pleasant, something warm and positive toward the other.

  “Gina!” A new voice interrupted them.

  Ojas blinked and his eyes grew guarded.

  Gina took a step back and turned to the man she was here to dine with. “Hi Subodh!” She greeted her date.

  “Hi! You look wow!” The bespectacled man with a long face and goatee said, stopping in front of Gina. He handed her a small bouquet of lilies.

  “Thank you! These are beautiful.” Gina said, clutching the flowers, conscious of Ojas standing a few feet from them.

  I don’t owe him a thing. We are divorced.

  “Shall we?” Subodh ushered Gina to where the hostess was standing. “I made the reservations already.”

  “It’s a nice place,” Gina murmured, walking behind him. I should have at least said ‘hi’ to Ojas.

  While Subodh spoke with the hostess, Gina cast a surreptitious look at Ojas. She found him looking at her, his stance unmoving, his look pensive.

  Gina saw a tall woma
n come up behind Ojas and tap his shoulder. Ojas’s face broke into a grin even before he turned around. Ojas and the woman hugged briefly.

  Gina looked away. A strange sensation traveled through her upon seeing Ojas and the woman wrapped in each other’s arms. “How long will it take for them to get us a table?” She asked more sharply than she had intended.

  Subodh turned to her and said, “Sorry! Almost ready! Have you been waiting for long?”

  Gina shook her head. “No, I just got here myself.”

  Subodh rested his elbow on a wooden stand lined with several vibrant mason jars filled with olives and colorful peppers. “You should have let me pick you up. That way you would not have to wait and you would have got more of my charming company.”

  Gina smiled. “Next time.” Then she realized what she had just said. She flushed. “I mean…I’m not.”

  Subodh raised a hand and winked at her. “I like the sound of that.”

  “Your table is ready,” The hostess informed them.

  Gina and Subodh let the server lead them to an alcove at the back of the restaurant with a few empty tables. Their table was a nice size and not a one-person table being passed off as a table for four.

  “So, have you been here before?” Subodh asked, pulling out the chair for Gina.

  “No, my first time here. What about you?” Gina said, taking a seat.

  “With work colleagues. They weren’t as hot as you though,” Subodh teased, settling across from her.

  Gina laughed, forgetting some of the anxiety that had assailed her on seeing Ojas with the mystery woman. “A man with depth, I see,” She teased back.

  Subodh grimaced. “You sound like Ky. And I sound like an idiot?”

  Gina’s laugh was a little breathless. Faking composure wasn’t easy. “It’s okay!” She picked up the menu placed in front of her.

  “You work in media too?”

  Gina shook her head. “I work for a tech company, computer systems analyst. Kyra was mentioning that you recently got promoted to head the business section. Congratulations!”