Seasons of an Amish Garden

by Amy Clipston

  “Let’s go.” Jerry held up his keys and jingled them, as if to signal to Clara that he was ready. Then he turned back to Emma. “We’ll be back soon.”

  “Danki.”

  Clara walked beside him to his truck and then climbed into the passenger seat and buckled her seat belt.

  “I thought we’d go to the hardware store first.” He turned the key and the engine roared to life.

  “Okay.” She folded her hands in her lap as he drove out to the road. “Did you fix the kitchen sink?”

  “Yeah.” He kept his eyes focused on the traffic ahead. “It wasn’t difficult. The toilet will be fixed soon.”

  “That was nice of you to insist on paying for the parts.”

  He shrugged as he gave her a sideways glance. “It’s not much at all.” He turned back to the road.

  “Still, it’s nice.” She paused and studied him, taking in his handsome profile as questions danced through her mind. “Jerry, why did you stop coming to church and youth group?”

  Something unreadable flashed over his features, but then it disappeared. “It’s difficult to explain.”

  “I’m listening.” She leaned toward him, and he laughed. “What’s so funny?”

  He nodded at her. “You’ve never been subtle.”

  She gaped at him, and he laughed again.

  “You can trust me,” she said.

  “I know that.”

  The compliment sent warmth swirling through her chest. “If you know you can trust me, then tell me.”

  He drove in silence for several moments, his eyes trained on the road once again. She held her breath, hoping he’d finally open up to her.

  When he drove into the parking lot at the hardware store, her shoulders wilted. They were at their destination, and she’d missed her chance for a real conversation with him. She unbuckled her seat belt and began wrestling with the heavy door.

  “Wait.” He touched her shoulder, but then he pulled back his hand as if her sleeve had bit him. “I want to answer your question.”

  “Okay.” She angled her body toward him.

  He looked down at his lap as if gathering his thoughts. “I don’t know how to explain it, but I’ve never felt God calling me to join the church.” He peeked up at her.

  She scooted closer to him. “But you were an active member of our youth group, and you always seemed attentive in church. Why would you suddenly turn your back on our culture and beliefs?”

  “That’s not what I mean.” He turned toward her and leaned back on the door. “While everyone else was looking forward to making a commitment to the Amish community, I felt awkward. I always thought I would feel God calling me to be baptized, but I never have.”

  She tried to digest his words, but she just couldn’t understand them. “God loves you. He loves all of us, and we’re all called to be his baptized disciples.”

  “Forget it.” He pushed his door open. “Let’s buy our supplies and get back to Emma’s haus.”

  Disappointment filled Clara as they walked toward the hardware store. She longed to encourage Jerry to open his heart to her, but she feared pushing him away with too many questions. Inside, she kept the conversation light, asking him only about his purchases.

  After he’d gathered the supplies and paid for them, they climbed back into his truck and headed to the bulk food store.

  “So what do we need here again?” he asked as she led him down an aisle.

  “Containers for strawberries and trays for kichlin.” She found the containers and began to fill their shopping cart.

  “Let me help you.” He reached for the stack of containers in her hands.

  When their fingers brushed, heat zipped up her arm, and her pulse skittered at the contact. She bit back a gasp as she released the containers. Her cheeks burned, and she turned back toward the shelf, hoping to hide her reaction to his touch.

  “I think we need three more stacks.” She busied herself with gathering more containers and handing them to him, careful to avoid physical contact.

  After filling the cart with the trays for cookies too, they headed to the cashier. Jerry took his wallet from his pocket and handed the cashier a stack of bills.

  “What are you doing?” Clara held up her own wallet. “I was going to pay.”

  “I’ve got it.” He took his receipt and change. “Thank you.” Then he pushed the cart toward the exit.

  “Jerry!” Clara trotted after him. “Why did you pay?”

  “Because I wanted to.” When they reached the truck, he hopped into its bed as if it were effortless and opened a large plastic container. “Hand me the bags.”

  “Why did you pay?” she demanded again.

  “I already told you. Because I wanted to.” He reached down. “Now, hand me the bags.”

  “I was going to be reimbursed,” she continued. “We have a fund for all garden expenses. You need to turn in your receipt to get reimbursed.”

  He frowned. “If I agree to that, will you please hand me the bags?”

  “Ya.” She nodded. “I will.”

  “Fine.” He rolled his eyes. “Now hand me the bags so we can get back to Emma’s haus.”

  Satisfied with his response, she handed him the bags and he stowed them in the large container. Soon they were on their way back to Emma’s house.

  “Danki for taking me to the store,” she said as the truck puttered its way down the road.

  “Gern gschehne.” He slowed to a stop at a red light.

  She glanced at him. Maybe she could just ask him one more thing. “You said you don’t feel the call to join the church, but you still speak in Pennsylvania Dutch.”

  He shrugged. “I hear it all the time at my parents’ haus, and that’s what many of our customers speak. So why wouldn’t I speak it?”

  “That’s something else.” She angled her body toward him. “If you truly are English, do you have a television and access to the internet?”

  “Who said I’m English?” His blue eyes challenged her.

  She extended her hands, palms up. “Well, your fancy haircut, your phone, your clothes, and your truck give it away.”

  He opened his mouth and then closed it again. When the light turned green, he took his foot off the brake and the truck lurched forward. An awkward silence filled the cab like a thick, choking fog.

  Clara regretted her words, and she racked her brain for something else to say.

  “Why aren’t you dating anyone?” he asked.

  “What?” She turned toward him.

  “I thought for sure you’d be engaged by now.”

  “Why would you say that?” She searched his face for any signs of a joke.

  “A few of my freinden admitted they wanted to date you.”

  “When did they say that?”

  “Before I left.”

  Stunned by the information, she paused, gathering her thoughts. “What did you tell them?”

  “I didn’t say anything, but I assumed they would pursue you. I always imagined one of them would have the confidence to ask you to marry him.” He turned his head to look at her. “You haven’t dated anyone since I left?”

  “I’ve had a couple of boyfriends, but the relationships didn’t last very long.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. I guess we just weren’t compatible.”

  “Did you end the relationships?”

  She nodded.

  “That’s what I thought.”

  “What does that mean?” Frustration nipped at her. Was he accusing her of something?

  “No man in his right mind would end a relationship with you.” He slapped on the blinker and then merged onto the road that led to Emma’s house.

  Oh.

  His words twirled through her mind as confusion taunted her. Why would Jerry say such a thing?

  She fingered the door handle as he steered into Emma’s driveway. When the truck came to a stop, she pushed open the door and started to climb out.

 
“Clara. Wait.”

  She looked over her shoulder at him.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you.” His face was lined with what looked like contrition. “I’m not Amish, but I hope we can still be freinden.”

  “We’ll always be freinden.” Her heart tugged at the possibility of being more than his friend, but because he wasn’t a baptized member of the church, she’d be shunned if that happened.

  “Gut.” He smiled. “Let’s unload the supplies so I can finish fixing the toilet.”

  As she climbed out of the truck, her thoughts turned to her uncle who’d left the community and cut off all communication with their family. Maybe her mother could help her figure out a way to bring Jerry back to the church—before it was too late, before he decided there was no turning back.

  “Mamm, may I ask you a question?” Clara turned to her mother as they sat on the back porch drinking iced tea that evening.

  “You know you can ask me anything.” Mamm ran her fingers over her glass as she pushed her rocking chair into motion.

  “What did you say to Onkel Norman to try to convince him to stay in the church?”

  “I begged him to stay. I told him he was my only bruder, and I didn’t want to lose him. I told him it would break Mamm and Dat’s hearts if he wasn’t Amish.” Mamm shook her head. “But it didn’t work. I wound up alienating him instead of keeping him in my life.”

  The pain in her mother’s eyes nearly broke her in two.

  “You must miss him,” Clara said.

  “I do. Very much.” Mamm smiled at her, but it was a sad smile. “You would love him. He’s friendly and funny. He loved to tell jokes, no matter how gegisch they were.” She got a faraway look in her eye. “One time mei dat was trying to tell him something serious, and Norman kept cracking jokes. Dat was angry, but then he just started laughing.” She chuckled.

  “He sounds wunderbaar.”

  “Ya. I’d love to get to know his fraa and kinner.” She turned to Clara once again. “And I would love for you to know your cousins.”

  “Ya, I would too.” Clara sipped her iced tea as she worked up the courage to ask her next question. “Do you think there’s any way I can convince Jerry to join the church?”

  Mamm looked at her a moment before answering. “It’s a very personal decision, Clara.”

  “I know.”

  “And if you try to push him, you might alienate him, just like I alienated mei bruder.”

  Clara stared down at her glass. If she didn’t try to convince Jerry to stay, she could lose any chance of being more than a friend to him, just as she had five years ago when he first stepped away from the church. But if she did try to convince him, pushing too hard, she could lose him even as a friend.

  “Was iss letz?” Mamm asked.

  Clara looked up at her mother. “What do you mean?”

  “You seem upset.”

  Clara hesitated as her thoughts spun. While she wanted to tell her mother that her feelings for Jerry worried her, she didn’t want to upset her too.

  “You care about him, don’t you?”

  Clara gritted her teeth. Mamm could tell the truth just by looking at her face. She was in trouble now!

  “It’s okay.” Mamm’s expression was warm, and that loosened some of the anxiety in Clara’s tense spine. “Jerry has always been a gut freind, and it must be exciting to reconnect with him. But he’s not Amish. Don’t get too caught up in your emotions or you’ll wind up with a broken heart. You can’t force him to join the church, but you can be his freind and gently encourage him. Maybe you can invite him to come to a church service and then let God do the rest.”

  “That’s a really gut idea.” Hope rose in Clara’s chest as she took another sip of tea. Maybe if she invited Jerry to church and he went, he would feel inspired to be baptized. And if he was baptized, maybe, just maybe, she had a chance to be his girlfriend.

  As she looked out toward her father’s barn, she sent a prayer up to God, asking him to bring Jerry back to the church for good. Maybe Jerry’s heart would turn toward the church the way the flowers in Emma’s garden, snuggled next to Henry’s, turned their faces toward the morning sun.

  CHAPTER 4

  You’re staying to help, right?” Biena pinned Jerry with one of her serious stares. “You’ve finished your work for the day, and it’s a beautiful Saturday afternoon.”

  “What makes you think I don’t have things to do at Onkel Saul’s haus?” Jerry shifted his truck into park and leaned on the steering wheel.

  Biena’s lips turned up in one of her mischievous smiles as she pointed toward the garden. “Because Clara is here.”

  Jerry bit back a groan. How could his little sister read him so well? He looked out toward the garden, where Clara sat on a bucket and worked in the soil. Then his gaze moved to the back porch, where Ephraim, Chris, and Wayne seemed to be working on the storm door. He recalled that Ephraim mentioned it.

  “I could help the guys replace Emma’s door.”

  “There you go.” Biena smacked his arm. “That’s a gut excuse to stay.” Then she pushed open the truck door, stepped out, and slammed it shut. “I’ll see you later,” she called before hurrying toward the garden.

  Jerry climbed out of the truck and walked up the path to the porch. As he moved past the garden, he spotted Biena talking to Clara, who’d looked up with her hands tented over her eyes. Clara glanced over at Jerry and waved.

  Jerry waved back and then jogged up the porch steps. “You three look like you need some expert advice.”

  “Ya?” Wayne looked around. “Do you see an expert anywhere, Ephraim?”

  “No. I can’t say that I do.”

  “Did we call for an expert?” Chris chimed in.

  “Uh-huh. I see how it is.” Jerry leaned back against the porch railing. “I’ll just stand here and keep my mouth shut as you drop that door on yourselves.”

  Ephraim lifted a blond brow. “Really?”

  Jerry laughed. “Let me help you. I’ve replaced a few doors in my day.”

  Wayne turned to Ephraim. “Let him help. We’ll laugh when he drops it on himself.”

  “That’s a gut idea.” Ephraim made a sweeping gesture toward the door they planned to replace. “Go right ahead.”

  Jerry stepped over and picked up a screwdriver. Soon he was taking the door off its hinges.

  “So other than being a plumber for most of the last five years, what have you been doing?” Wayne stood close by, looking ready to help.

  “Not much. Just working.” Jerry nodded toward the door. “Help me lift it.” He and Wayne removed the door and leaned it against the railing.

  “We’ve all been working,” Wayne said. “But you came to youth group one day and disappeared the next. You haven’t even come to church.”

  “Have you joined a different church?” Ephraim pulled out a pocketknife and began to remove the packaging from the new door.

  “No.” Jerry looked out toward the garden, where Clara and his sister now worked side by side.

  “Then what kept you away?” Wayne asked. “You never gave us any indication you’d be leaving, let alone not coming back.”

  For a moment Jerry regretted allowing his younger sister to guilt him into staying today. But his friends had a right to know more about him. After all, he’d abandoned them.

  “I don’t think he wants to discuss it.” Chris opened the packaging, revealing a storm door that included a full-view glass front.

  “Why did Emma choose a door with a full glass front?” Jerry asked.

  “You really have to ask?” Wayne deadpanned. “So Hank can look outside.”

  “I should have known.” Jerry grinned as he shook his head. He looked toward the garden again and spotted Hank giving himself a bath in the sun. “That cat has a gut life here, huh?”

  “Ya, he sure does,” Chris said.

  “So why have you stayed away from us for five years, Jerry?” Wayne asked again. “You could have at least com
e around once in a while.”

  Because I didn’t want any lectures? Because I wouldn’t have known what to say?

  “I really don’t know.” Jerry grabbed one side of the door. “Ready to lift?”

  “That’s not a gut answer.”

  “No, it’s not, but it’s the truth.” Jerry helped Ephraim lift the door and carry it to the frame.

  “Well, whatever your mysterious reason is, we’re glad you’re back.” Ephraim swiped his hand over his sweaty forehead.

  “I am too,” Jerry said. And he was.

  “How did you convince your bruder to help today?” Clara stopped weeding the cucumber bed and looked toward the porch, where Jerry helped Ephraim and Wayne adjust the newly installed door for Emma while Chris handed them tools.

  Biena pulled another weed and dropped it into the bucket beside her. “I pointed out that you were here.”

  Clara felt as though her heart had tripped over itself as she looked at her friend.

  “Don’t look so surprised,” Biena said. “It’s obvious you two like each other.”

  Clara gasped as she leaned close to Biena. “Please don’t say that out loud.”

  “Why?” Biena’s eyes widened. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

  “No, I don’t, but your bruder isn’t baptized. I don’t want to get in trouble with the bishop.” Clara paused. “I do like your bruder, but we can’t be anything other than freinden unless he comes back to the church, okay? Please don’t tell anyone I care about him.”

  “Okay.” Biena lowered her voice. “Maybe you can help him decide to come back to the church.”

  “I hope so.” Clara looked back toward the house as a yellow taxi pulled into the driveway and stopped next to Jerry’s truck. A young woman stepped out. “Who could that be?”

  “Oh, it must be Tena.” Biena stood and wiped the worst of the dirt off her hands with a rag from the pocket of her apron. “Emma said her great-niece was coming to visit from Indiana.”

  “Her great-niece?”

  “Ya. Emma said Tena’s fiancé broke up with her, and she’s heartbroken. Emma invited her to visit for the summer, to help get her mind off what happened.”