by Nicole Thorn
“What the hell are you doing?” I asked, keeping my voice a little less than irritated/scared.
Kelly did nothing to sound calm or forgiving. “You fucking told the cops that me and Peter broke into Catherine’s house?”
It threw me, so that I couldn’t respond quick enough. No one ever mentioned Kelly when they decided that Tammy didn’t do this. I still didn’t understand why no one took my word for it, but that was a problem for another day.
“I didn’t do that,” I said, loud and clear.
“Really?” Kelly hissed. “Because the cops came to my house this morning to question me. My parents flipped their shit, and I’m grounded for the rest of the school year because you lied.”
I repeated my point. “I didn’t do that. Your name never even came up.” I doubted Kelly knew everything about the situation, and I wasn’t keen on filling her in, so I kept my mouth shut.
“I doubt you gave up a chance to get me in trouble. You think I stole your boyfriend, and you’re clearly a coldhearted bitch. So why would I believe you?”
Her hostility suddenly made me decide to be done. Why did I have to be civil with this person? We weren’t friends, and she hated me anyway. Nothing I said would have ever changed that, and I didn’t care to.
“You don’t have to believe me,” I said. “I don’t give a damn either way.”
“Well, aren’t you an angel. I can see why Peter is so fucking obsessed with you. Or he was before you went full blown Satan on him.”
My eyebrows rose, wondering how Peter spun the tale so that he didn’t look like a complete dick in it. Shortly before this day, a version of me existed, that would have thought I could have been the monster there. I’d hurt him too in the end, and I had done it on purpose. Peter stabbed me, and I stabbed him right back. I would normally have felt guilty, and even apologized to him. Now, that place in my heart had gone numb, and I didn’t care to fix that.
Keeping calm, I said, “I don’t know what happened with you, but I had nothing to do with it.”
Kelly cocked her hip after she put her hand there. “The cops said that someone broke into your friend’s house, and put blood everywhere. Then they said that it was about you, and that Peter and I had motive. They said several people corroborated that, so I assume it was you and your friends.”
That several people made up my parents, and the officer that blamed Peter in the first place. No matter what I said, Kelly wouldn’t have bought it. Putting it on my mom and dad wouldn’t have helped either, so I didn’t bother.
“I told the officers who I thought did it, and I didn’t mention you or Peter. I don’t think you did it.”
“Good,” she hissed. “Because we didn’t. But because of you, me and Peter have to deal with all this shit with the cops. Whatever you said, or didn’t say, you did this to us. Clearly you have some major issues with me, and me being with Peter. Every chance you get, you fuck with us.”
“Actually, I don’t. Your boyfriend won’t leave me the hell alone, even though I’ve asked him a hundred times. I’ve moved on. I have new friends, a new boyfriend, and I want nothing to do with yours. How many times must I state that?”
The girl stepped forward again, making me move back. I might have been a couple feet from the wall, and I didn’t want to be caged in like an animal.
“I don’t think you’re over a thing,” Kelly said slowly. “You stare at him, you talk to him, and you clearly picked the first person desperate enough to date you, so that you could make Peter jealous. You think that would make him run back to you?”
I laughed. “He can run all he wants, but not a damn thing in this world would make me take him back. Oh, and if you call my boyfriend desperate one more time, I’m going to knee you in your junk.”
“Don’t threaten me, bitch.”
“Don’t make me need to. How about you go ahead and accept that you’re paranoid, and don’t have any good reason to think I’m going to steal Peter. That’s more your thing, don’t you think?”
She chuckled then. “Ah, so I was right. It comes down to you being bitter about me taking him back. You think you got wronged. Well guess what. If you were a better girlfriend, then maybe he wouldn’t have wanted to get away from you so damn badly.”
That should have upset me. It should have had my eyes prickling with tears, and my hands shaking. My brain should have been telling me she was right, and that I’d done everything wrong. I wouldn’t have blamed Peter, even with the facts in my head. Everyone had always told me I was the problem, but it didn’t feel true anymore. Knowing Kelly only said this to hurt me, made it impossible to do so.
“Move out of my way,” I said. “I’m not doing this with you. You already made me late for class.”
I brushed past Kelly, bumping her arm on my way. I got all the way to the door before she grabbed me again, yanking me by the shirt. It would have fulfilled all kinds of daydreams if I could have reeled back and socked her good and proper in the jaw. I didn’t do that, because one, it would have hurt my hand, and two, the cops had become too big a part of my life now for me to assault someone. The last thing I needed was for my credibility to drop.
“We’re not done,” Kelly said, letting go of me. “You need to stop messing with my life now, and stop messing with Peter’s. He told me everything you said to him, and it was fucking evil.”
“You clearly didn’t get told the whole story, because if you did, then you would be pissed off at him.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You’re trying to make me paranoid, and it won’t work.”
She was already paranoid, so it didn’t matter either way. “Peter wanted to upset me, so he used your relationship. He let me know that four days after we broke up, you guys slept together. So you can say I’m evil, or Satan, but at least I didn’t use Poe to make Peter feel bad. How does it make you feel knowing that Peter used you?”
I watched her face as she let it sink in. I saw pain, and anger come in flashes. She sent that all at me, and I thought for a moment, this would turn into a real fight. One where we pulled each other’s hair, or I bashed her head into the sink. Thankfully, it didn’t come to that. She just went into denial.
“Don’t pretend that your little show with that Poe guy wasn’t to upset Peter.”
I laughed again, harder this time. “I didn’t even know Peter was there. And shouldn’t you read more into the fact that Peter had been watching me? That seems creepy, just FYI.”
“He wasn’t watching you! God, you’re so self-absorbed.”
“Sure I am. Tell yourself whatever you need to, but I think the person you have to talk with is Peter. It seems like all your problems come from him. Let me guess, when you start fighting, he puts it on me, right? He makes it seem like somehow, I’m the one who caused it?”
Kelly blinked, and held her head up high. “Don’t turn this around on me. The problems all started with you, so of course your name comes up.”
I cleared my throat. “Hey, how about you stop and think about what kind of relationship you want. Personally, it would bug me if every problem I had with my boyfriend, was his ex. Especially, if he couldn’t stop talking about her. Have you ever thought that maybe, Peter is the problem here, and not me? He’s not all that stable.”
“How fucking dare you.” Her lip curled into a snarl, like an angry animal that wanted to eat my face. Funny, because I felt more like the one about to attack.
I inhaled, and thought happy things so that I didn’t hit this bitch. I got cornered in the bathroom, and she managed to make me into the dick. How? How did I get dumped, and have to deal with the girl my ex replaced me with? Ah, because she felt insecure and didn’t know how to deal with it. It wasn’t my problem, and I didn’t care to get involved anymore. I made my decision, choosing to be finished with Peter. That went for Kelly too.
“Have a nice day, Kelly,” I said. “Good luck with your boyfriend. I sure hope this is all worth it to you, because it would be a bummer otherwise. Maybe next
time you go poking around a relationship already in progress, you’ll think twice. Enjoy my leftovers.”
Kelly didn’t have anything to say to me, so that left the door wide open to go through. She stood in the middle of the bathroom, staring at the wall like it pissed her off. She didn’t try and stop me when I got the hell out of there.
Chapter Twenty-Eight: It Comes Around
The phone buzzed on Poe’s nightstand, and I saw his body tense, though he didn’t look over at it. Like it would have given the object power if he gave in. He didn’t say who kept calling and texting, but I guessed that on my own. Since Poe only knew a handful of people, it hadn’t been all that hard. Cathy had to keep her mother from exploding at the police, so it couldn’t be her. And I’d been sitting in his bed all morning, spending my Saturday trying to help him ignore the phone.
Poe had a movie on, but we didn’t really watch it. He mostly stared at the TV blankly, and I stared at him. Poe hardly moved, but I’d see his fingers twitch every time the phone started to go off. Like he wanted to answer it, and forgot for a moment that he couldn’t. Or wouldn’t…
“Sweetheart,” I started when the phone quit buzzing. “Do you want me to answer it? I can tell Brent to leave you the fuck alone.”
“It won’t work,” Poe answered. His voice had been sullen all day, and I didn’t like the helpless feeling it gave me. “I’ve been trying for years, and it does nothing. In the end, he gets upset, and then takes off. It’ll happen again if I just wait it out.”
The problem being that Brent liked to come back sometimes, spinning Poe into misery every time. The guy made him feel guilty, even though Poe did nothing wrong. He still took on the responsibility, but didn’t know how to deal with it. He didn’t want to hurt Brent. I however, wasn’t as kind, and would be more than willing to do it for him. I kept that to myself, because Poe had enough to deal with.
I laid my head on his shoulder, comforting myself as much as it probably comforted him. “I’ll wait it out with you then. I don’t want you all alone here if he shows up.”
“It makes me feel better, at least knowing that you’re not home alone. Tammy could probably sneak through your window.”
I sighed. “Thanks…”
“Sorry, that came out wrong.”
“Even so, you have a point.” I turned to my side, putting my arm around his middle. “Too bad we can’t get away with sleepovers…”
Poe agreed. “My parents would notice a tiny orange haired girl sneaking out of my room to go shower in the morning, so you have a point. We might be able to pull it off if we go about it right.”
“Not likely.”
“They take Malon to her guitar classes three times a week. They won’t be back until almost nine. You can hide in the closet.”
I smiled. “Tempting.”
“I’ll make it temping,” he said, quite suggestively.
I laid back when Poe started to roll on top of me. I happily took the distraction that worked on the both of us. If I could get Poe to stop worrying for a little while, then I’d done my job. Maybe he had a point. If we waited out the stuff with Brent, then he would leave again. He might actually get the hint this time. Poe wasn’t alone anymore, and I thought it would change things for his terrible former friend.
Poe nudged my legs apart with his knee, and settled between them. His mouth found mine, and it all felt effortless. Nothing awkward or tense. I didn’t feel obligated to let anything happen. Now wasn’t the time to be having more realizations about how awful my last relationship had been, but that stuff kept coming out randomly. Pieces would suddenly be clear, making me feel all the more foolish for falling for it as long as I had. I comforted myself by remembering that it wouldn’t happen again.
Poe must have sensed that I’d been distracted, because he deliberately pressed himself between my legs. A great way to get my attention, I decided. I responded, moving my hips along with Poe as I pulled him closer to me.
“If we keep this up,” Poe said when he moved his lips from mine, and to my throat. “I might think you kinda like me.”
“Hmm.” I ran my fingers through his hair, smiling to myself. “I don’t know why you would assume that.” My hands left his hair to travel down his sides. I loved the weight on me, and the gentle rhythm Poe kept as he worked his hips against mine. I would have been panting his name in a few minutes if I kept lying like that.
I pushed him up by his sides, and Poe didn’t question me. Nor did he question it when I unbuttoned his jeans, and my hand slipped into his boxers. He paused kissing me, but only for a couple seconds. I took it as approval, which made me feel nice. I didn’t have much idea what I was doing…ever, but Poe made me think I got it right. He did help though, moving against my hand at the proper pace.
“Yeah,” Poe said quietly. “Doesn’t at all feel like you have a thing for me.”
I scoffed. “You clearly have a thing for me.”
“Clever.”
“Thanks, I thought so.”
I tried to pull Poe’s jeans down a bit more, plotting out in my head how I could get him onto his back. I didn’t get the chance to work out my plan though, because he seemed to have something else in mind.
“And what do you think you’re doing?” I asked when he pulled my hand away from him.
“Mind your own business.”
I giggled at him, but didn’t want to drop the game. “You’re not the boss of me, and this is no way to get me to like you, if that’s your goal.”
“Who says it is?”
“Point taken. It would be a waste of time anyway. I can’t imagine why you think I would possibly be enjoying any of this.”
He moved lower, unbuttoning my shirt and kissing the skin he exposed. “Me neither. But your skin gets all warm when I touch you, and your eyes went a little flat when I did this.” Poe stopped to press his hand between my legs, applying pressure as he rubbed just slightly. Still enough to make me lose my breath.
“Weird.”
“Very.” Poe had gotten down to my shorts before he stopped, and looked up at me. “I guess I have no reason to think you might be into me.”
I shook my head as I opened my legs up wider. “None. I’m kind of embarrassed for you, actually.”
Poe’s fingers started pulling at the zipper. “I appreciate your sympathy.” The button came undone, and my heart threatened to break my chest.
“Ya know…” I laid back, feeling my shorts being pulled down my legs. “I should find a way to make it up to you. It’s only fair.”
“Later,” Poe insisted, and then I felt his mouth on me, over the underwear I decided I hated for existing.
I went silent, unable to come up with clever things to say, and unwilling to try. Stuff like that would make Poe cocky… That, or the gasp from me when he did something as simple as touch me.
I waited for him to go ahead and rip the rest of my clothes off, but he clearly wanted to take his time. I let it happen, because it wasn’t exactly unpleasant, what Poe did.
His fingertips had just started pulling at the band when his phone vibrated. Poe and I both tensed, and I didn’t know what to say.
“I’m so fucking done,” Poe growled, and then reached for the phone.
I sat up, covering my lap with the blankets. Maybe a dumb thing to do, but it felt needed. I saw Poe glaring at the phone in the seconds before he answered it, and hissed out the boy’s name.
“Poe!” I heard Brent say from the other end. “You picked up.”
“Yeah, I almost didn’t, so tell me what you want so I can say no.”
Brent took a moment. “I… I told you I needed a little money. I don’t have anywhere to stay. The cops kicked me out of the park last night.”
Poe closed his eyes, but I saw the fight in his head. It must have been hard to separate the boy he used to care about, and the person he had become. Someone who could hurt a little girl, and put Poe in this position whenever he felt like he needed something.
&nb
sp; “Go home,” Poe said to Brent as I started rubbing his shoulders. “Go tell your parents what happened, and they’ll help you.”
“You know I can’t do that. They keep trying to send me to fucking rehab.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing, Brent. You’re a junkie, and god knows what might happen to you. You can overdose, starve to death, a million damn things can kill you, and the little bit of money I can give you won’t change that. You’ll always need more.”
Brent sighed. “You’re supposed to be my friend, Poe.”
“No, that ended when you mutilated my sister. I should never talk to you again, yet, I always seem to answer when you call.”
“I know. I really get it, and I’m sorry, Poe.”
I winced when he said Poe’s name again, reaching so far to make a connection. Did Brent think that this would have been enough? That even though he’d hurt Poe a hundred times, there could still be the same emotional connection there? Not likely.
“Then go to your parents,” Poe said. “Tell them you need help, and then actually take it. Don’t you want to have a family again? Somewhere safe for you, where you don’t need to steal and beg and worry?”
“It won’t help!” Brent yelled, setting off my irritation. He yelled at the only person that cared if he lived or died, and that hit home a little too hard. I would have liked to rip the phone out of Poe’s hand so that I could yell at Brent, without Poe having to do it.
“It would help. They want to send you to a place that literally specializes in helping people like you. They’d make this easier.”
Poe had told me that Brent had been—for a whole three days—at a rehab. He’d broken out, and managed to get away from the police that barely searched for him. A drugged out teen wasn’t an easy find, and they supposedly had more pressing matters to attend to. I didn’t agree with it, but Brent’s parents must not have pushed very hard. It made me feel a twinge of guilt, because I could have imagined my parents being the same. They had little children to take care of, and I couldn’t remember a time in my life when I hadn’t mostly been on my own. If I’d gotten into drugs, or this stuff with Peter got worse, my parents might have written me off. I could have been on the street like Brent, twitching for a fix I couldn’t afford.
