Alpha Douchebag: The Virgin: Gabriel & Willow duet #2 (Alpha Douchebags of Grifton Falls University)

by S. N. Garza

  He snickers, muttering, “He knew who you were.”

  “When did he find out?”

  He doesn’t say anything, and I know he hasn’t known all this time. He can’t play me. I’ve figured Gabriel out. Just like I figured out Marcus. After all this is said and done, he needs to move on. And so do I.

  “That’s what I thought. Marcus, after all this is over with and we’ve uncovered everything, you need to move on.”

  He crunches his brow, pretending to be confused. “What are you talking about?”

  I pull the duffle bag closer to my chest and a shuddering breath escapes. “I’ll always love my parents, but Uncle Luke raised me. He’s my dad. The only parent I’ve ever known. I’ve always wanted to know about my past. About my mom. My dad, well, Uncle Luke loved talking about him and growing up together with him. How their parents, when they retired, moved to Florida and are enjoying life. There’s always been this hole inside of me, not knowing them, but it’s not like I need them. I didn’t have them; I don’t remember them, and I grew up just the way I needed to. Don’t you want to move on? Start living your life? It seems like you’ve been stuck in the same circle of hell for the past thirteen years, Marcus. The last twenty-three.”

  He doesn’t say anything and so I lean my head on the window, knowing he’s not going to answer me right now. Or ever. He loved my mother so much he might not be able to put her to rest. But I know I can. I want to learn everything there is to know about her, so I can let go and know that she was the best mom a girl could have while she was here. She beat him. She got out. I feel the tears falling silently down my cheeks when I look in the passenger side mirror. A shiny reflection catches my eye. I sit up straighter and squint my eyes, trying to see what I saw.

  Marcus turns on the first curve of the downslope and I see it again. A car?

  “Marcus? Do you see the car behind us? It doesn’t have any headlights on.”

  I turn to him and see him checking his mirrors. His brow crunches, as he takes a curve a little too fast from not paying attention. He curses, straightens, and just when we pass the second of the six big curves, bright LED lights come on and they’re closer than I thought they were.

  “Who the heck is that? Oh, my God. Is that Everett? He wouldn't—

  “Babygirl, he doesn’t drive, and that car is too small to be the Range Rover his driver takes him in. I think they’re gonna fucking ram us. Hold on, Willow.”

  He tries to slow down, approaching the next curve and he gets a little too close to the guardrail and I can’t help the small squeal ripping from my throat.

  I grab a hold of the safety handlebar as he curses and then his Jeep lurches forward. The car smashes once again into the back of his car.

  “Goddammit. You okay, Willow?”

  “Yeah. I just—,” just as I speak, I look in the mirror and there it is again, and I call out Marcus’s name.

  “FUCK!”

  The car skids and Marcus tries to regain control but it starts to skid, sliding as the wet roads work against us.

  “MARCUS! WATCH OUT!”

  The Jeep almost drifts on its side when the car behind us once again hits us on the corner side of the car, and everything becomes slow motion. The only thing I can do is hold onto my mother’s bag like my life depends on it. I feel this weightlessness overcome me as the SUV flips over the side of the road and down a steep hill. Something cracks against my head and then nothing.

  Twenty-seven

  Marcus

  What the fuck? My head is killing me. Where am I? Why does everything feel heavy as fuck in my brain? I open my eyes and am surrounded by darkness. I turn my head and see Willow. Her hair is standing straight up. The fuck? Blood drips from her brow but it’s dripping upward. Then I realize we’re upside down. What the fuck just happened?

  “Willow? Babygirl, you okay?”

  That’s when it comes back to me. Someone rammed us off the road. Fuck! When she doesn’t respond, I try and open my other eye, but I feel blood leaking and I call out to her again.

  “Willow? You gotta answer me, sweetheart.”

  In all my life, all I ever wanted was to make sure she was safe and cared for.

  Loved.

  I only ever wanted her to know how much her mother loved her. And with all the revelations we discovered today, I don’t know how she can be so strong.

  Move on?

  Live my life? Does she mean with my wife? Maybe it’s Willow’s doing that right before I left my house and Laurel tried telling me she was leaving, something about it just didn’t feel right. Laurel and I have a backstory that was sordid, filled with its own darkness at time. She had always been in the back of my mind ever since I saw her for the first time when she was thirteen. Curvy little thing with raven dark hair, the greyest eyes that reminded me of a winter storm. She’d always been beautiful. Even now. Especially now when she gets fired up with anger. Laurel has always been slow to anger. When she’s angry, there’s a spark that reminds me of when we started our affair when she was seventeen.

  Laurel’s always been loyal to me. I know I’ve said shit to Gabriel, and I’ve done some shitty ass things, but she was always… there. Always there when I needed her.

  Willow wants me to move on. Wants me to be happy. It’s almost as if Susan is telling me it’s time to let go and let live. Maybe I’m not husband material either, but Laurel’s always looked at me like I’m the sun and moon. I’ve always noticed that. After twenty-four years, she still has that look. Until tonight. God knows I don’t deserve it, but maybe, if she’ll let me, we can see where we end up. I’ve never been an easy lover. Laurel always let me give her whatever I wanted. And the fact we haven’t shared a bed once in our marriage—we had separate bedrooms, but whenever I wanted to fuck, I’d go to her room and she was always willing to fulfill any needs I had—until Susan died and I stopped.

  I never went to her again sexually. I couldn’t. We started out with her promising I could use her, knowing I’d never love her like I loved Susan. And I did. I took advantage of her, yet she loved everything I ever did to her. Everything we’ve ever done together. As did I. I was able to be myself with her. Even when it was truly forbidden. But the last thirteen years, I couldn’t use her anymore. I couldn’t give her my best.

  As if I ever did? Probably not, but she’s always… done everything she could to make sure I succeeded in everything I did.

  I’d have divorced me long before now. So, why did she stay? It’s been thirteen years since she and I shared a lover’s bed. She’s always given me everything I wanted with no complaint. All the shit I’ve done to her, how does she not hate me? I’ve only stepped out on her twice, once a few years after our marriage—but that in my eyes was justified because the way this bitches husband treated Laurel when they were younger, well, I made sure he regretted ever trying to hurt Laurel—

  Which worked out because afterwards, he was never able to father a child with his wife, but that story is for another time. Then four months ago when I got a little too drunk and fucked someone I shouldn’t have. I thought it was Laurel. She had the same raven hair, same eyes.

  But the curves had been wrong.

  The woman I fucked ended up being Britney. Her sister. Willow’s coach.

  How do I live with all the fucked-up shit I’ve done? A shit husband; an absent father. I can’t turn back now. I don’t have the right to go to my wife and tell her I want to be together with her in every sense of the word. I’m not… worthy of her forgiveness.

  God, I fucking hate thinking about this shit.

  I like to fuck—not that I have. Before four months ago… it had been a very long time. Years. Maybe stupid of me. I had a wife I knew I could go to. But I couldn’t use her like I did before Susan died. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken Laurel to my bed that night… maybe I shouldn’t have done a lot of things. What difference does it make now?

  I drink. I work. And the cycles just repeats itself. Never needed anything beyond that.
I didn’t deserve anything beyond that.

  At least, that’s what I like to tell myself. Even when I saw Susan those ten years, Laurel was never too far from my mind. Laurel was—is… the only woman I’ve been able to live with and not hate myself.

  And after I married Laurel, granted the main reason I married her was her condition—at least in part, the other part was I didn’t want her to ever leave me. I had never thought about kids when we started our affair, because, well, after that first true time I took her virginity, there had only been need. The need for the next time with her. I could be myself with her and she didn’t ever bat an eyelash or shy away. Never told me no. She wanted me any way she could have me. With Susan, I was soft. I never let my hands leave marks on her sweet, porcelain skin. With Laurel, I knew exactly how to light her up. Building an endless flame that I never wanted to extinguish.

  But I did, didn’t I? I did the night Susan died. I watched as I told her I’d never go to her again and all that spark, seemed to evaporate.

  Once I knew she was pregnant with my child though… there was no way I was going to be without her. She fulfilled everything I ever needed. She thought I wouldn’t want her? Wouldn’t want my child? No matter how shitty I was, Laurel had always been mine. It was selfish to bind her to me, knowing she had always wanted out of Grifton Falls. One woman had already left me and Laurel becoming pregnant was my saving grace.

  There had only been one way to bind Laurel to me and that was giving her my last name. I was bitter for years when Susan left and whenever the guys, Britney, and I would hang out, Laurel was often there. And it only got harder not to fantasize about her. Especially after we did what we did the month after that first birthday I spent with her. With each passing year, the fascination, the lust, the need… had only grown. While Susan had let me take her… a lot of times, it was Laurel’s face I was seeing.

  I’d always been fucked in the head about wanting Laurel when I shouldn’t have. Then she turned seventeen and that first time, I never knew sex could be like that.

  After I married Laurel… I didn’t go to Susan for sex.

  I’m a liar and a pathetic excuse for a father and husband. But after I married Laurel, I didn’t need that from Susan. It was as if we were back to being best friends. Talking about everything and anything.

  Except for why she left. Except for talking about anything of home.

  I honestly hadn’t even cared if we never made love again. I got everything I ever needed from my wife.

  But Susan died and I fucked my wife for the last time, and I told myself I wasn’t going to use Laurel. When we started our affair, she told me to use her however I wanted.

  And I did.

  I knew she felt things for me I didn’t feel for her, but like she promised, she didn’t cling to me. Laurel was… is perfection.

  Always has been.

  Not that it ever mattered. When I go home at night, she’s the first thing I look for. Wanting her. God, wanting her so badly at times, but knowing I can’t use her anymore. And that’s what our relationship was. What right do I have to even ask Laurel for anything? After everything she’s ever done for me. The perfect wife. The perfect woman. Always making sure I succeeded in everything I’ve ever done. What right do I have to ask for more?

  Do I even want more?

  I look back at Willow and know it’s her doing that both my son and I are changing.

  “Willow, babygirl, you gotta wake up. Willow, God. Please. Please, not this.”

  He can’t take her from me. From Gabriel. And while I’ve never been the father of the century, I’ve always been there when he’s really needed it. When those boys wanted that house and he had barely any credit, I was the one who told the bank owner, my former friend, that dick Jason Glass, to go ahead and do it and I’ll back them just in case.

  That motherfucker is another story altogether too. He didn’t matter though.

  I wasn’t a great dad, but I went to all his games too. Cheered him on silently because I know he wouldn’t have appreciated me hollering at him.

  Although he loves hearing Willow hollering for him. He knows he can come to me. He did when he decided to come work for the company. I’m not completely heartless, the boy is smart as a whip and sharp as tac.

  I did push them aside.

  Laurel and Gabriel. I knew I didn’t have anything more to give them. And if… no. It’s not happening. The little girl next to me isn’t going to leave this world.

  Not yet.

  I try and move slowly, check if I broke anything. My leg hurts and I’m jammed in this fucking seat. Great. I look for my phone, knowing I put it in the console when we went over the edge. Who the fuck was behind us? And who was behind them, because just as we careened over the side, there was another set of headlights. Why aren’t they down here? Did they call 911?

  I’d say let’s wait, but Willow’s not responding. My phone buzzes and I feel the vibrations above me. Fuck, my head is killing me. I can’t unbuckle her though just in case she… just in case something’s wrong with her neck or… please, let nothing be wrong. I feel the top of the car until my hand gets closer to the buzzing when it stops, but thankfully I manage to grab a hold of it.

  “Hey, Siri.”

  “What can I help you with?”

  “Call 911.”

  “Calling… 9. 1. 1.”

  “Grifton Falls Emergency Services, how may I direct your call.”

  “My car’s been run off the road. This is Marcus Saint. We’re on the third drop off up the hill in Grifton Falls Estates.”

  “Yes, sir. Dispatch has someone on the way. Is anyone injured?”

  “Yes. The girl with me, Willow Mason, she’s not responding. We’re upside down. God, everything hurts. Blurry. So blurry.”

  “Sir, stay awake with me. Someone is already on the way.”

  God, this mindless droning, I let go of my phone and it falls back onto the roof.

  “Willow? Please. Please, answer me.”

  Still, nothing. I slowly move my body this way and that, and when I don’t feel anything broken, I release my seatbelt, falling onto the roof.

  “Fuck.” I groan as I punch out the cracked window and crawl out from the car. On my hands and knees, I crawl around to the passenger side. I manage to pry the door open, but I won’t chance letting her go in case she’s injured.

  I fall on my ass and lean up against the open door when I see the duffle bag on the roof. I know it has all of Susan’s stuff Willow managed to stuff in there, and I hope Willow shares it with me. I need to learn who the woman I loved and failed was. Why didn’t she say anything?

  “God, Susan. Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you let me save you?” I turn to Willow, who’s bleeding pretty badly. I heard head wounds bleed like a bitch. “Willow, don’t you leave me, babygirl. Don’t you dare leave him. He loves you more than you’ll ever know. He’ll spend the rest of his life knowing nothing is as good as your soulmate. Don’t let him live this life alone. Don’t you dare fucking leave him like she left me. It fucking gutted me when I learned of it. Gabriel won’t be able to survive without you. I know him better than he knows himself. Just… hang on, babygirl.”

  And thankfully, I can finally hear sirens in the background.

  “Just hold on. A little bit longer. You’re going to be okay. You have to be. Just have to.”

  I lean back, close my eyes, and drift.

  Twenty-eight

  Ragan

  Thank fuck, I’m finally getting the hell out of this hellhole. I hate going to go see her. She’s manipulative, arrogant, unemotional, and the most malignant woman you could ever meet.

  My grandmother. She’s the epitome of evil queens if there ever was such a thing.

  She doesn’t even greet me when I get into the dining room. First, she tells me how I’m dressed inappropriately—in my black skinny jeans and Grifton Falls University t-shirt. Of course, for her, it’s never good enough. She wants me to dress like a lady.
Like some GF debutante. I’ll never be a debutante like every other GFU cunt on campus.

  Then she proceeds to tell me I need to go to Houston in her stead, to the Mitchell’s annual Give Back Benefit Ball next month. I hate going out. I don’t do shit like that and I definitely don’t like doing anything for her. And she wants me to take someone. Who the hell am I supposed to take? And no, don’t even think about it. I’ve had enough of him to last me a lifetime, and my lifetime has only just begun.

  No.

  Lochlan Masters is just as manipulative, arrogant, and unemotional as she is. Maybe not evil incarnate, but he’s still very much the name he allows people to call him. A complete douchebag.

  He might know how to fuck and fuck well—very well—but that’s all we had. Sex. More Sex. Plus, more sex. Then right before spring finals, I could tell he was trying to pursue a more romantic relationship and I just wasn’t going to have it. I’m not the relationship type. So, I left.

  Without a word.

  Maybe he’s bitter about it, but I don’t care.

  I told the old battle ax I’d go, but I would go all by my lonesome. I don’t need a man to take me or take care of me. It’s like she thinks I’m completely incapable of doing anything on my own, which I’ve been doing for the past several years. Pretty much ever since my parents ran out of money and then ran out of my father’s inheritance, then leaving me here with her.

  Before that, everything had been perfect. We were the perfect family.

  I hate having these conversations with my grandmother. It always ends up with us arguing and me leaving – racing out the door as fast as I can. I can’t stand her. She thinks she can ‘fix’ me. I’m not fixable. And I’d never change for her.

  Or him.

  I’m driving down the hill and approaching the George estate when I see a black Jeep pull out of the driveway, and then a car pulls out behind them. Odd.

  The car behind the Jeep has no lights on.

  I stay back, watching. Why wouldn’t they have their lights on? Unless something else is going on. In which, it’s best if I stay at a careful distance. The roads are slick as shit and the car in front of me speeds up, disappearing around the first deadly curve on the hill. I hate these roads. The curves are dangerous as all get out and this bitch, whoever it is, is going down the streets swerving and driving as if on a mission. I don’t think the Jeep sees them just yet.