On the phone, Vladimir was muttering.
“Shh,” she instructed him.
“What, my rose?”
“I caught Marco. Photos and all.”
DELAWARE – BIDEN RESIDENCE
Biden walked up to the helicopter as the blades were still softly spinning. He grabbed Kerry in an enormous bear hug.
“Jesus Christ, my man”
“Indeed, friend. I have seen some shit.”
“Bet you have. Bet you have. C’mon, I got some beers and brats on the grill. Unload.”
CALIFORNIA – WINFREY MANSION
Oprah leaned back, and the recliner shot into the air, quickly at first, slowing down when it hit the top of its path. The data was projected on to the giant inside surface of the sphere. She checked her math. Solid. She slid her finger onto the plate with the thumbprint scanner.
WASHINGTON, DC – RYAN RESIDENCE
The room smelled of dead flesh.
Paul Ryan held his chin, then read the incantation. This all felt strange and uncomfortable. “Here goes.”
He swallowed the cube of body meat, whole.
He repeated the unholy words.
He closed his eyes and held them shut.
Across town, Mitch stirred.
WASHINGTON, DC – THE WHITE HOUSE
Melania had built up a wall of pillows between them, but she still stared up at the ceiling, sensing his presence in the bed next to her. In his sleep, he mumbled racial epithets. She cursed him and dreamed of the old country.
CALIFORNIA – A STEAK HOUSE
Don Jr walked away from Tiffany, who glared at him with such intensity he could almost feel it at the ends of his heavily-greased hairs. He did the tough guy thing with her, but deep inside, he wanted a sister. At least she would talk to him. Ivanka said nothing.
CALIFORNIA – WINFREY MANSION
“Condition alpha has been achieved,” Oprah relayed to the array of nodes that had come alive on her spherical info-screen. She continued to hold the jade skull, sensing history focusing on this point, at this moment. “Find your truths,” she commanded.
In response, they saluted.
CHAPPAQUA, NEW YORK – CLINTON RESIDENCE
As she finished her salute, Hillary reached over and turned off her workstation. In the next room, Bill slept soundly, doing that soft purr he always did when in deepest of sleeps.
She strapped on her leather gloves, ready to work.
ATLANTA, GEORGIA – CARTER RESIDENCE
Jimmy Carter slept soundly as well. Rosalynn was already out in the garden. The storm was coming, but her flowers would not be neglected.
WASHINGTON, DC – OBAMA RESIDENCE
Michelle swung her leg in a furious roundhouse kick, connecting with the head of the practice dummy. It made a loud CRACK and went skittering across the floor of her dojo.
“Have to buy a new one,” she thought, turning to the exit.
RUSSIA – THE KREMLIN
Yuri listened to the report, nodding as the details were read off to him. They were small things, anomalies maybe. Nothing earth shattering. At first glance.
He considered alerting Putin.
“Better not, he’ll bite my head off,” he decided.
WASHINGTON – RYAN RESIDENCE
“Heck!” Paul Ryan yelped. “Heck! Gosh! Golly!” He continued.
Gasses bubbled. A cat howled. His skin grew warm.
A spiderweb-shaped red pattern began to emerge at the base of his neck. It crawled up, covering his mouth, tugging at his lips.
He could see. Mitch.
UTAH – ROMNEY RESIDENCE
Mitt pulled the lever and the finely tuned gears leapt into action, lowering the car elevator deep into the earth.
He put an arm around Rubio.
“We’ll get you squared away, chum. We’ve got tricks those she-devils don’t know”
Rubio gulped.
“Wowsers, Mitt,” he replied.
SOMEWHERE BELOW WASHINGTON, DC
Bannon’s fingers bled as he tugged at the coal fragments. He was more husk than man now, moving in stiff, zombie-like motions. He could only helplessly watch as his body acted beyond his control.
Mitch sat in the cool, dark as always.
The hairs on his neck stood up.
“Ryan.”
DELAWARE – BIDEN RESIDENCE
Biden pulled the exquisitely polished wooden cabinet open and gestured to the array of weapons inside.
Kerry’s eyes widened.
Biden grinned.
“That’s right you sonofabitch. Barack loaded me up. The best shit.”
“This is the real deal, friend.”
Biden guffawed and slapped his shoulders.
WASHINGTON, DC – NAVAL OBSERVATORY
Mother walked towards Pence.
“Dear. Headed out?”
“Doing some shopping”
“Have fun”
She gave him a slight nod and continued on. She felt the weight of the switchblade in her coat pocket.
If he doesn’t want to see, he won’t.
WASHINGTON, DC – MNUCHIN RESIDENCE
Louise Linton wrinkled her nose in confusion. Mnuchin pushed his horn-rimmed glasses up on his nose as they slid on his slick sweat.
“What do you mean the money is gone?”
“It — is.”
“But my things, my precious things.”
“The cartel won’t take no for an answer, Louise.”
DALLAS, TEXAS – BUSH RESIDENCE
When George W. Bush painted, he wouldn’t hear the screams. He spent the days fueled on caffeine to fend off the night terrors.
He wasn’t sure what was real and what was imaginary.
Laura turned into a dragon.
Bring ‘er on.
SOMEWHERE
Blood sprayed as the throat was slit. The agent didn’t give it a second thought. His devotion to Oprah was supreme. Her commands were his mandate.
Oprah or death was his creed.
WASHINGTON, DC/OTTAWA
“Trudeau.”
“Justin. It’s Obama.”
“Barack! So good to hear from you.”
“Same. Look, Biden is off grid again. My operation needs some eyes in the air.”
“It’s yours,” he said, slathering on the poutine.
It felt like old days, before the change.
MANHATTAN, NY – TRUMP TOWER
Human flesh is gummier than you’d think, Eric thought.
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION
Ivanka interrupted Bolivar mid-rant.
“There’s no reason to buy so much ammunition. We just need a few feet of rope to make enough garrotes to wipe out the Duhane Cartel’s operation. I’ve run the numbers.”
The cocaine baron was impressed.
WASHINGTON, DC – THE WHITE HOUSE
Pence nodded, his nervous tick going into overdrive as Vladimir Putin reeled off a series of instructions over the phone.
He tried to memorize all of it - he couldn’t leave a paper trail of course - but he worried about forgetting a step.
His hands shook.
WYOMING – CHENEY RESIDENCE
Looking at the rifles, Cheney made a sour smile and remembered how he had shot his friend.
That was a simpler time. You just wound up idiot George and he would go. Now, Cheney had to get his hands dirty. If you wanted a South American revolution you had to do it yourself.
WASHINGTON, DC – RYAN RESIDENCE
“What in tarnation am I seeing?” Paul Ryan wondered.
Everything was in a red haze. He felt separated from his body, like he was watching a film back at the movie house in Janesville.
“I can taste the colors,” he realized.
How did Mitch live like this?
THE ARCTIC REGION
“Joe. Enough.”
“No, John, this joker’s got to see what a bunch of malarkey this is for fuck’s sake”
Biden tightened his grip on
the ivory handle of his blade, nicknamed M’Lady, and twisted it wickedly.
The man screamed in agony.
Kerry wondered if they’d crossed a line.
WASHINGTON, DC/CHAPPAQUA, NY
“Bill. I cannot do it anymore. He’s gotten worse. He’s somehow more cruel, more deranged.”
“Melania, dear, I understand. And I know how hard this has been, but you must gather more evidence for The Brotherhood.”
“You promised safe passage for me and my boy.”
“I still do.”
UTAH – BELOW THE ROMNEY ESTATE
Mitt hated feeling this judgmental, but he hated how impulsive men like Marco were. He had been able to keep himself in check for decades, denying vice and temptation.
But these men — boys really — like Marco and Jared, they were so soft.
“Phooey,” Mitt thought.
SOMEWHERE
Hillary gunned the engine, aiming the car directly at the ravine. Michelle leaned out the passenger window, an Uzi in each hand.
The sound of gunfire was deafening.
All of their past tension, strife, disagreement was gone, replaced with a harmonious ballet of righteous violence.
ROCK CREEK PARK, WASHINGTON, DC
Bannon galloped on all fours, rushing through the thick grass that slashed against his bare skin. He would feel pain in the morning but now he was a soulless beast of burden.
Mitch, his rider, squeezed his bony knees against him, prodding him to run faster.
“Make haste, boy.”
MANHATTAN, NY – TRUMP TOWER
Don Jr winced as he held the severed goat’s head. He hated doing this. It should have been someone else’s job. But Daddy had tasked him as Eric’s overseer decades ago.
He watched his brother scratch against the walls.
He had gone feral again, and needed feeding.
CALIFORNIA – WINFREY RESIDENCE
Steadman Graham softly caressed Oprah’s shoulders and quietly whispered, “Is it everything you dreamed?”
“Yes,” she replied, “my spirit soars.”
They watched together as the satellite feeds showed multiple scenes of extreme violence, done in her name.
“More wine?”
SOMEWHERE
Mother felt uncaged. After years at Pence’s side, keeping her animal instincts at bay, playing her deep cover role as the good wife — that wasn’t her true self.
This was.
She leapt from the tree.
Her kitana blade shone in the moonlight.
Her prey’s death was quick.
BERLIN, GERMANY
Angela Merkel liked her scotch neat, and that’s how Fritz made it.
She sat in her leather command chair, it’s sweet musk reminding her of life on Papa’s farm.
Fritz couldn’t understand all of it. He saw the pieces, but it was bewildering. Angela understood. She stroked her chin.
WASHINGTON, DC – BELOW THE OBAMA RESIDENCE
Miles below Washington DC, a map of the world on a gigantic wall screen was lit up with red incident alerts in multiple cities.
“I’m such an idiot.” Obama said to nobody in particular. “Right under my nose. In my own bed. And I was completely clueless.”
WASHINGTON, DC – THE WHITE HOUSE
Trump looked on stupidly as Ivanka and John Kelly spoke in terse, clipped sentences.
She was still in her silk pajamas, assembled by a host of 10-year-olds the day she visited the factory in China.
Trump didn’t understand any of what they were saying, but she was mad.
UTAH – BELOW THE ROMNEY RESIDENCE
Rubio nodded, watching Mitt’s hands as he showed him how to mix the elixir.
Involuntarily, he began to lick his lips. He was nervous. He felt like it was Chris Christie mocking him again.
“Sport, I need you present,” Mitt said, “Your first kill is always your hardest.”
WASHINGTON, DC – THE WHITE HOUSE
“But she’s black,” Ivanka said through gritted teeth. She spoke in her signature monotone - thank you finishing school - but her clenched fists betrayed her deep and unyielding anger.
John Kelly stared at the floor.
“Oprah is a black,” Ivanka continued, trying to comprehend it.
MANHATTAN, NY – TRUMP TOWER
Eric shat on the floor in the corner of his enclosure, oblivious to the world.
SOMEWHERE
Hillary radioed headquarters and filled them in that another facility had been secured.
The walls inside still dripped with blood.
Michelle leaned against the candy apple red Mustang, watching the flames lick the sky.
ROCK CREEK PARK – WASHINGTON, DC
Pence glared at the Secret Service agent. He backed off, stationing himself at the entrance to the woods.
Pence’s cover story was prayer and quiet contemplation. That was the only way to shake his detail.
“Vladimir sent me.”
“I know,” said Boris Johnson, “Me too.”
WASHINGTON, DC – RYAN RESIDENCE
McConnell dismounted Bannon and left him to lick his wounds.
He soon found Ryan, his earth-bound body convulsing amidst copies of The Fountainhead. “The gods are displeased,” he hissed with his forked tongue.
CHAPPAQUA, NY – CLINTON RESIDENCE
Bill chuckled as he hung up the phone. The caller had confirmed what he already knew: The network was done, smashed beyond repair. Much of the wet work had been done by Hillary and Michelle.
“Oh dear,” he whispered, knowing what this could mean.
“Oprah has the upper hand.”
SOMEWHERE IN THE ARCTIC
The cold tugged at the corners of Biden’s eyes. Waves of snow fell, blocking his view of the path ahead. He sniffed the air, straining to catch some familiar scent.
“Anything?” Kerry asked from behind him.
“No,” he growled.
Kerry slowly nodded.
WASHINGTON, DC – WHITE HOUSE
Kellyanne hung upside down, supported only by her knees wrapped around the tension bar. With each crunch, she felt tension in her abdomen.
The network she had known her entire life was wiped out.
She would adapt. She always did.
“Feel the burn,” she grunted.
WASHINGTON, DC – THE KUSHNER/TRUMP RESIDENCE
Ivanka pulled in close to Jared. Her lips almost touched his ear, but not quite. He could feel her breath as she spoke. Somehow it was cold, not warm.
“You betrayed our family. I will end you. I promise.”
Jared began shaking.
SOUTH AMERICA – CARTEL MANSION
Don Jr stared at the centerpiece, afraid to look away. He could hear the bonfire crackling behind him. He puckered his lips.
This had been a bad idea. He loved the cartel’s money, but now he was at a party surrounded by brown-skinned people. He feared them. So much.
SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA – ARBY’S
Tiffany Trump made her way to the booth in the back of the Arby’s. Her dining partner bit his way into his roast beef sandwich, trying as best he could to stay inconspicuous. It was impossible. He was too tall.
“Director Comey”
“Tiffany! It’s just Jim,” he replied.
CALIFORNIA – WINFREY MANSION
Oprah dismissed Steadman from the thought cabana and dipped her fingers into the man-made confidence stream that wound its way through the building. She let her pride have a moment of reflection. Any complications seemed far off and nearly impossible to fathom.
WASHINGTON/UNDISCLOSED LOCATION VIA SATELLITE PHONE
She picked up.
“Barack”
“Michelle”
“I’m sorry, I just”
“I know. You did what you had to”
“All these years, how did u do it?”
“It wasn’t easy. Especially lying to you”
> “I know”
“What’s done is done. Let me be clear.”
She smiled.
WASHINGTON, DC
After the exchange, Boris Johnson walked back towards the embassy, his head hung low. Not only was he betraying his queen, but also, he was simply an errand boy for the Russian.
From Buckingham Palace, the queen watched him via drone, disgusted.
SANCTUM MCCONNELL
McConnell hoisted Paul Ryan’s body onto the altar. It twitched and convulsed as it had for the last few hours.
McConnell emitted a resigned sigh that echoed through his hollow gullet.
He had tried to warn his apprentice. Now he was trapped between realms.
The blood ritual began.
WASHINGTON, DC – THE WHITE HOUSE
The frosting was all over Trump’s face. He had dug into the smash cake with his two diminutive hands, wrecking the “45” the White House bakers had stenciled into the middle.
John Kelly tried to smile but continued to die inside. This disaster never ended.
“My cake!” Trump yelled
CALIFORNIA – WINFREY RESIDENCE
Obama sat across from Oprah.
“I won’t lie. I admire what you’ve done here. In many ways, it surpasses our own efforts.”
“We tried. I hope you can get past the deception.”
“One needs discretion when playing the grand game. I understand it.”
“Can we work together now?”
WASHINGTON, DC – THE NAVAL OBSERVATORY
Mother crossed her legs and sipped her tea, listening to Pence. Her role, as always, was to listen and nod silently. In her mind, she relived the last few days, in the jungles, hearing the screams and howls as she truly lived.
She nodded, as he went on in excruciating detail.
SOMEWHERE
The potato sack was pulled off Jared’s head. The light blinded him. His face and hair were drenched with sweat. He was disoriented. His hands bound.
Ivanka walked to him, her arms folded.
“Who set you up with a wire? Who did this?”
Her eyes narrowed.
LONDON, ENGLAND – BUCKINGHAM PALACE
“First Brexit, now this,” the Queen said, gesturing to the photos of Boris Johnson exchanging the suitcase with Pence. “I’ve a good mind to change things around here. Back to the old days, Brittania and all of that.”
Theresa May gulped. “Ma’am —”
“Shut up. One has had enough.”
SOMEWHERE IN THE ARCTIC
Biden’s muscles strained as he pulled Kerry up to the landing.
“Thanks, friend”
The Deepest State Page 3
