Torment

by R. S. Broadhead

  I stood from the bed and looked down at the slight indention left in the mattress. Apparently I had been there for quite some time. I found a bag full of clothes and quickly dressed. I pulled the jeans, sneakers, and hoodie on before pausing to look in the mirror. My hair was to the mid of my back, so blond it was almost white. My eyes were so blue they seemed almost unnatural. I ran my hand across my cheek. My skin was radiant.

  I glanced around for a hair tie and found one lying on a table next to the bed. I snatched it up, knocking off a small folded piece of paper and a picture. I quickly tied my hair back in a high bun before kneeling to see what it was. I flipped the picture over first. The girl looked like me but different. Her hair wasn’t as blond and her eyes were a duller blue, but she looked happy in the arms of a guy. He was smiling down at her. Something inside me churned, almost ached in an unfamiliar, grotesque way. That girl was still inside me, but needed to be gone. I squeezed the photo into a crumple and shoved it into my jean pocket.

  I grabbed the paper next, opening it to find several numbers. Coordinates. I needed to get to wherever this was. If it was left here for her, then it could only pose a problem for me later. I needed to clean house to make sure any threats were eliminated. I started out the door and kicked something across the floor. It hit the wall with a clang. I picked the dog tags up that the nurse thought he was going to get away with. They looked old and beat up, even had a spot of blood on them. Why in the world would someone want these things? The man they belonged to was weak. Fragile. I shrugged to myself and put them around my neck, tucking them under my shirt.

  Cracking the door slightly, I stole a glance into the hallway. “We need to double his dosage. That doesn’t seem to be working anymore,” a man said, walking toward me with a nurse. I swiftly closed the door, waiting with my hand on the handle. I inhaled deeply and slowly let it escape my lips, to help remain calm. I needed a level head if I was going to do this. A full-blown bloody massacre wasn’t the way I needed to exit this place, although it would be fun. My chest buzzed with the potential excitement of the thought. No. I needed at least a few hours before they noticed I was gone.

  “Doctor, maybe he isn’t taking the pills. We’ve had patients hide them under their tongues before.” Their voices became distant as they past and continued down the deserted hall. I reopened it and look again to find it clear. Cautiously, I skirted down the hall, pausing to crawl past a nurses’ station. All the ladies were engrossed in a TV show. I reached a set of stairs and descended five flights. At the bottom, I looked through the tiny pane of glass for anyone walking by. Nothing. I pushed it open and looked both ways, finding the exit to the left. Only a few feet and I was out. A tiny light flickering caught my attention before I went through the sliding door. A camera. It didn’t matter if they saw me now. There was no way they would catch me once I was on the other side of this door.

  After sneaking out of the hospital, unseen, I searched the parking lot. I needed a phone to get me heading in the right direction. I saw an empty car sitting idle. Glancing around, no one was in sight, so I gently opened the door and climbed in. The smell of stale smoke made me gag. I moved some clothes around sitting on the passenger side seat and a phone fell onto the floor. I reached down to pick it up as the door flew open.

  “Trying to steal my car, huh?” a tall muscular guy said. He looked to be in his mid-thirties, and as suspected, had a burning cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He grabbed my sweatshirt and yanked me from the car. The cell phone slid across the pavement. “And my cell phone? Glad I got back in time.” He threw me into the side of his car, knocking the breath from me. I rubbed my back gently as he went to pick up his cell phone. “I guess I need to call the cops so they can lock you up, where you need to be,” he continued. I couldn’t let that happen. Silently, I crept behind him. He turned around I connected with a left hook to the side of his temple. His eyes rolled in the back of his head and he hit the ground, hard. I picked up the cell phone and trotted back to the car. I threw the little Corolla into drive and tore through the parking lot.

  Once on the interstate, I searched the coordinates on the phone’s GPS. The ending results wanted to take me across the world from where it was showing now. Thailand. I managed to locate an airport on the phone’s search and dumped the car at a near-by gas station. I hiked down the road the rest of the way there. I didn’t want traces I had gone to the airport. I didn’t need anyone searching for me there.

  “Can I help you, ma’am?” a security guard asked as I entered the noisy Seattle airport. It was chaos, people standing in groups or rushing with their luggage in tow. Their voices blended, making an array of confusion. I looked to the woman for a split second before letting my gaze fall back to the floor, making sure to keep my eyes hooded. She studied me like she didn’t trust anything about me.

  “No,” I said, barely above a whisper. It had been so long since I’d talked, it was hard to make my voice any louder. It felt like a wild animal had clawed its way out, taking my flesh with it.

  “Excuse me?” she asked again. She stepped closer, a foot away now. Her hand inched its way down to the radio and rested there. “You look like you’re a little lost.” I looked up from the ground and she gasped. “Oh my Lord, child! You’ve got the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.” I could feel my cheeks burning and that confused me. Clearing my throat, I rolled my shoulders back trying to shake the feeling.

  “I’m looking for a friend. She works here. She told me to meet her by the employee lounge. Can you tell me where that is?” My voice sounded weird. It was much different than the way the security guard talked.

  Her face changed as a smile graced her full red lips. “Sure. Go down this hall right here and make a left. You’ll make another left and then it’ll be on your right. There’s a sign in front of it. You’re not allowed in there, but you’re fine to wait out front for her.”

  “Thanks for your help. She doesn’t know I’m coming. I’m trying to surprise her,” I said, continuing my lie. I backed away, keeping an eye on her and the radio on her side.

  “Good luck with that,” she said, obviously still in a stupor over the color of my eyes. With the flick of my hand, I cast a little wave and turned in the direction she directed me to. Constantly, I had to stop to keep from being run over by people. The noise seemed to be increasing the farther I traveled through the building. Irritation trickled down my spine, creating an emotional tidal wave. She was fighting to be released. I had to get somewhere to be alone, fast, or they would hunt me down and take me back to that hospital. I shoved an elderly man down to the floor, sending papers he was holding in all directions. Someone screamed at me to stop, but I couldn’t. She was getting stronger with each second.

  I shoved open the bathroom door, hitting a woman in the face. “Everyone get out!” I screamed. My throat protested at my harshness, sending another violent flame down my insides. The women stopped what they were doing and fleeted from the room. I screamed so hard, it ended in short spurts, making it difficult to breath. I lunged at the door and locked the bolt, before spitting out a mouth full of blood. I stumbled to the mirror and threw my hands down on the counter. “I know you’re trying to come out.” I paused for a minute, showing a mouth full of bloody teeth. “You’re weaker than me. You would’ve never gotten this far without me taking over.”

  My reflection split in two, leaving me with solid black eyes, her taking the blue. “You have no idea what I’m capable of.” Someone pounded on the bathroom door, screaming for it to be opened. “It’s time for me to take over, until I find a way to get rid of you,” she snarled.

  “You’ll never get rid of me. The moment you accepted me to get out of that padded cell in here,” I said, shoving a finger at my temple before continuing. “We were bonded.”

  Her face twisted in rage, creasing the porcelain skin that made up her beauty. “No!” Her reflection lunged at mine in the mirror. I stumbled back into a stall, knocking the door back with a bang. The
internal struggle between the two of us was fierce. Why not let her think she won? I could just come back when needed until the time came to fully take over her body. My smugness wore deep. No one had ever won over the darkness, but no one fought this hard either. That’s why it was imperative to keep her memories blocked, everything but the mental abuse she endured at the hands of me while she was in the hospital. I needed her to think she wasn’t strong. It was her rage that fueled her accepting me and it would be that rage that triumphant over me. Her pain was eating her alive and she didn’t even know it. It almost made me feel bad for her. Almost. There was one thin shred of doubt that she might win, but I quickly diminished the thought and sunk back into her subconscious, letting her take over.

  I dropped to my knees, scrambling for something to hold onto. The toilet paper dispenser grazed my fingers, breaking off and hitting the floor beside me. I lay back on the tiled floor, letting the coolness soothe me, not thinking about how repulsively dirty it was. Nothing mattered at this point. I had accepted the darkness. It was in me, I was my own enemy.

  I looked dazedly up to the air conditioner vent blasting chilled air across my body, the beads of condensation forming along the outer edges, threatening to drip. Sweat rolled down the side of my face into my hair. Holding up my hands, my heart began to thud as I scrutinize them. They were the hands of a killer now. Despite that nurse’s cruel nature, he wasn’t mine to judge and punish per death. I could still feel his skin boiling on my palms. Convulsing knots formed in my stomach, my mouth salivated. I swallowed, trying to keep control over the heaves threatening to takeover. I turned my head to the side and closed my eyes, trying to think of anything else. A wisp of hair kissed my nose. The smell of burnt flesh instantly watered my eyes. I shot to the toilet, my hands barely made it to the rim before the vomit started.

  The click of the bathroom door made me muffle the gagging. Covering my mouth and wiping the lingering drool, I locked the stall I was in and slumped to the floor with my back against the wall. Echoed footsteps entered the room and doors slammed shut with the bolts locked in place. Tears silently rolled down my face. I was terrified. All that time spent alone. How could I face people now? Countless nights of hearing the voices, seeing the shadows laugh and torture me.

  Someone knocked on the door. I skirted away, up against the side of the toilet as much as I could squeeze beside it. “Anyone in here?” Involuntary tremors snaked their way around my body like a blanket. “Hello?” The door moved.

  “Ye-yes. Some-someone’s in he-here,” I finally mustered up enough courage to call. I half expected the door to burst open. See something terrifying and grueling coming at me, but the door sat perfectly still. The feet, wearing neon green and pink thong sandals with crusty toenail polish, walked away without another word. I bent my head low, relieved, and covered it with my arms.

  I stared at the ground, trying to wrap my brain over my current situation. The trouble was I didn’t remember anything. I didn’t even know my own name. I looked down at the bracelet strapped to my arm. The plastic was melted to my skin, making it eligible. Biting my lip to keep from screaming, I peeled it off, taking a layer of skin, and threw it to the floor. No name. Behind the melted plastic something caught my eye, a blue tattoo, on the inside of my wrist. On the other wrist I found the same thing. It was full of twist and turns, knotted into a symbol. I ran a finger over it, which made it glow. I gasped. I don’t know why, but I could feel power running over my body. Whatever these were couldn’t be good.

  For hours I sat in the same position, ignoring the growing ache in my backside from the hard floor. Every so often a knock came and I dissuaded someone from entering my stall, my safe place. The chatter was repugnant. Silly things that shouldn’t matter deserved a beating. One talked about how her husband didn’t know she was flying to meet her boyfriend. Another talked about the four thousand dollar dress she bought and then decided she didn’t like it. Their voices wouldn’t stop, comment after comment.

  My stomach ached, a loud moan escaping it. I needed to move. I couldn’t stay here forever. I pulled out the paper with the numbers scribbled across it. If the darkness thought this was a threat then it meant there could be hope for me here. The handwriting was sloppy with little swoops rounding the numbers off. It had to be written by a man. I pulled the crumbled picture out and studied it. Maybe it was this guy that wrote it? I searched his face, every tiny detail, hoping to remember him. Nothing. I exhaled deeply, letting it take a piece of my frustration with it. I placed them back in my pocket and stood. My body was stiff as I stretched the soreness from my cramped muscles. With a shaking hand, I reached for the lock on the stall door. I closed my eyes for a moment, attempting to prepare myself for what I was about to encounter.

  Before I could talk myself out of it, I unlocked and pushed the door open. Two ladies stood at the sink washing their hands. They paid me little attention as I passed by and exited. Once on the outside, I stayed close to the wall with my arms wrapped around my body. My hair hung over my face with only a small portion parted for me to peek through. I managed to find the desk with the flight display screen behind it. I needed a flight to Thailand. After about ten minutes I found one flying out around midnight. That gave me plenty of time to find a way on it.

  I headed toward the employee area the security guard directed me to. Once outside, I propped back against the wall, pretending to look at a magazine I stole from a rack I passed by. Employees entered and left every so often as I took note. Once I was sure it was empty, I built up the courage to go inside.

  Cautiously, I pushed open the door. Determined if I was wrong and someone was inside, I would lie and say I got lost, thinking this was the bathroom. Rows of lockers lined the walls of the large room, with a few tables in the middle, a counter in the back equipped with a microwave, sink and refrigerator, and a television blaring something. I needed to be quick if I was going to get this done without being caught.

  I searched lockers that weren’t secured with a dead bolt until I found a bright orange uniform that read Crew on the back. I jammed it under my shirt, making a large bubble in the front of my stomach. My stomach growled again. Casting a look at the tables, I saw a box half full of donuts. Before I could grab one the door flew open and two guys strolled in.

  “Hey. You aren’t supposed to be in here,” one said. The other was already pulling his radio out as I rushed toward them.

  I threw my hands up to my mouth. “I’m so embarrassed. I thought this was the way to the restrooms. You know how it is when a pregnant lady’s gotta go,” I said, pointing to my belly. They both smiled and laughed.

  “My wife was the same way. Can’t tell you how many times she pissed her pants. Joe, you better not ever mention to her that I said that or I’m going to kill you,” one said before turning back to me. “The bathroom is right down this hall, third door on the right after you pass the security booth. I nodded and darted out the door without saying another word.

  I strolled the halls of the airport until I found the food court. Waiting until someone left their food on the table, I snatched a half eaten sandwich and ran to the bathroom to change clothes. The uniform was baggy on me and the legs were several inches too long. I rolled them until they were level with my ankles. An hour before the plane was to take off. I needed to get down there. They were probably already loading the luggage.

  I got a few head nods from other crewmembers as I passed them in the halls. Finding another with my same uniform, I followed him down a corridor that led outside to the runway. A horn blasted as a guy on a truck zoomed by. He stopped at a plane with the lower half open, a revolving belt stretching out, taking the luggage up. Two guys tossed the bags on the belt while two at the top secured them in the plane. I licked my lips and headed toward them.

  “Hey guys,” I said, pushing my hair away from my eyes and batted my lashes at them. They turned, one dropping the bag he held. I smiled, trying to be playfully seductive. “I was told to help load the bag
s in the plane, but it’s my first night. Can you tell me how to get up there?”

  They both started talking at once, and then turned to each other to begin a shoving match. Finally the shorter one spoke. “There’s some steps over there on the side,” he said, pointing the direction to me. I smiled, though I was terrified. I walked away; fully aware they were watching my every move. My heart pounded, like a constant punch to the chest with every beat. I climbed the stairs, waiting until the two loading the bags into the plane weren’t looking and slid in between two crates.

  I sat down, breathing through my nose and exhaling through my mouth out as slowly as I could. This was it. In just a little while I would be in the sky, flying to whatever I was supposed to find at these coordinates. I hoped it was someone to help me get rid of what was growing on the inside. She was being quiet, but that couldn’t be a good thing.

  Soon the doors closed, and everything was black with the exception of tiny streaks of light spilling in from cracks. I stood, stretching and searched for a more comfortable spot. I found some duffle bags and placed them together, adjusting them for some slight softness. It wasn’t much but it was better than sleeping on the floor. My body couldn’t handle that. It was still sore from sitting so long in the bathroom. I laid on top of them, staring at one of the lines of light on the ceiling. Something shifted across my chest as I rolled over to my side. The metal dog tags felt hot as I touched them. Who did they belong to? My fist tightened around them as I squeezed harder, hoping the answer would come to me. My mind went blank, I let out a frustrated moan.