Far Series | Book 3 | Far From Lost

by Mary, Kate L.

  Zara pressed her lips together, and I had a sudden flashback of our mom. Seven years had gone by since I’d seen her, and the few memories I had were fuzzy—and not pretty—but since picking my sister up in Indiana, I’d been able to picture our mother more clearly. I recalled in vivid detail how she’d stood in the doorway of the kitchen, her dark, wavy hair—so much like my own—wild around her face, her brown eyes glassy and unfocused as she stared at my crying sister. She hadn’t yelled at Zara, hadn’t hit either one of us or told me to make my sister shut up, which was something, at least, but she hadn’t reacted either. The drugs had helped her tune everything out. Her two children, the fact that we had no food, how chilly the apartment got in winter when our heat was turned off. All of it vanished when she was high.

  I didn’t remember anything about my father other than the fact that he was white, and even that memory was sparse and blurry. Nothing but a tall, skinny white guy with shaggy brown hair who constantly had a cigarette in his hand, but no face. He had to have been around sometimes, logic told me that, because Zara and I were three years apart and we had the same dad. So why had he left? I didn’t have a clue, but I also didn’t care. As much as it hurt to be pulled away from my sister, to have a father who cared so little about his children that he left and never looked back, and a mother who preferred pumping drugs into her body to caring for her two young daughters, I wouldn’t have changed a damn thing. It had made me strong and self-sufficient, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I’d made more of myself than I would have if I’d been allowed to stay with my mom. I’d had to fight, had to claw my way through life, but I’d succeeded.

  My bladder was begging for relief when I glanced down the hall in the direction of the bathrooms, but the second my gaze landed on Hank, all thoughts of relieving myself evaporated. He was standing just outside the cafeteria door, leaning against the wall in a casual way that gave off the impression he was either bored or waiting for something, and he was staring right at us. He was a kid, only seventeen, and a little overweight. Being of Native American descent, his brown skin had a red hue to it, and he wore his black hair shoulder-length. There was an innocence in his big, brown eyes that I couldn’t deny, but at the same time, something about him had alarms going off in my head. Especially the past few days. At first, I’d thought he was just shy, and possibly a little socially awkward, but now, I wasn’t so sure. I didn’t like how closely he watched people, or that it seemed to only be women who had his attention. Especially considering how much time he’d been spending with my sister.

  I turned my attention back to Zara, then shifted so my back was to Hank, not wanting him to be able to read my lips. “While I’m thinking about it, I want to ask you about Hank.”

  “Hank?” A flush spread across my sister’s cheeks, reddening her light brown skin.

  “Has he been—” I hesitated, not wanting to make a big deal if it really was nothing. “Okay?”

  Zara’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, has he acted okay toward you? Nothing inappropriate? He hasn’t made you feel uncomfortable or anything like that?”

  “Oh.” She looked down. “He tried to kiss me.”

  The admission wasn’t too much of a surprise. He hadn’t made his interest in Zara a secret, and since his focus had been aimed at me before she arrived, I’d been happy to have his attention redirected to someone more his age. Now, though, I couldn’t help worrying, although I still couldn’t say exactly what I was concerned about. What did I think would happen?

  “Did you kiss him back?” I asked my sister, wanting to feel the situation out a little bit more.

  Zara’s head snapped up. “No. He’s nice, I guess, but I’m not into him like that. Plus, it’s weird.” She looked around, her mouth pulling down in the corners. “Things are so crazy right now. I can’t imagine starting a relationship in the middle of all this.”

  I focused on the most telling words she’d uttered. “What do you mean, ‘he’s nice, I guess’?”

  Zara’s shoulders lifted slightly, and she crossed her arms, hugging herself. “He’s a little intense. You know? He stares a lot, and not just at me, and it sometimes makes me uneasy. I don’t know why. It just does.”

  She wasn’t alone.

  “You didn’t kiss him back, but did you push him away? Did you tell him you weren’t interested?”

  “Yeah, of course. I mean, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so I blamed it more on the zombie stuff, but I told him.”

  “How did he take it?”

  “He said he understood. Told me we could be friends.” She hugged herself tighter. “He seemed okay, but—” Her gaze went past me, and I knew she was looking at Hank. “It kind of feels like he’s watching me more now than he was before.”

  I exhaled, trying to decide what to do or who to talk to about the whole thing. Devon already had a lot on his mind because of Rowan, but he needed to know. Lisa might be a good option, too, and maybe even Doug. He’d been helpful when we had to take care of Rowan’s mom, and I had a good feeling about him. Despite everything Rowan had said.

  “I want you to be careful, okay?” I told Zara. “He’s only seventeen, so I don’t think he’s dangerous, not really, but do your best not to be alone with him.”

  My sister nodded, her lips pressed together and her big, brown eyes intent on me. “I will. I promise.”

  “Okay. Good.” I let out a deep breath, but it didn’t help ease the tension that had started the second Rowan stepped toward Heath and only seemed to grow more intense with each passing minute. “Now I need to hit the bathroom so I can rejoin the others. I want to know if they’re making any headway on a plan.”

  I started walking, heading toward the bathroom, and Zara went with me as far as the cafeteria, which meant stopping beside Hank, who was still leaning against the wall—and still watching us.

  “Everything okay?” the teenager asked, and my scalp prickled when he narrowed his eyes on my face.

  “Trying to decide what to do,” I said.

  “You’ll keep us updated?” my sister asked.

  “I will.”

  Zara smiled, and Hank nodded once. His gaze was still trained on my face, and I got the uncomfortable feeling he was trying to read my mind.

  I turned, waving over my shoulder. “Gotta hit the bathroom.”

  I practically jogged down the hall and around the corner.

  Once I was hidden from Hank’s prying gaze, I slowed a little, but not completely. I had to pee pretty badly, but I also wanted to get back to the command center as soon as possible.

  All the exits in the building had been blocked off except two—the main entrance and a door that led into a courtyard where port-o-potties had been set up. There were six of them, blocked from any possible zombie attacks by three cars parked bumper to bumper, and a few tarps hung over most of the open area to keep out the rain—assuming we ever got some. We needed it, both for gathering water—the guys had raided the local Lowe’s and collected trashcans, which were ready and waiting—and to control the wildfire on the other side of town.

  While port-o-potties wouldn’t have been my first choice had the world been normal, I couldn’t deny that the guys had been smart to think of them. With no electricity and running water, we were currently in a position where we were going to have to choose between that, building an outdoor latrine, or using a bucket. Since the building was mostly surrounded by blacktop and concrete, building a latrine wouldn’t have been easy, leaving the port-o-potties as our best option.

  A cool breeze swept into the little courtyard, rustling the tarp hanging over my head as I stared past the barricade of cars to the world beyond. The sun was high and bright, but the day chilly, and the air hazy from the fire burning only a couple miles away. It was also thick with the scent of smoke, making my eyes water and scratching at my nostrils when I took in a deep breath through my nose, practically singeing the fine hairs. Breathing through my mouth wasn�
��t much better, because I could taste it.

  I hurried to relieve myself, wanting to escape the smoke-filled air, but stepping back into the school didn’t give me the reprieve I’d been hoping for. The scent followed me, clinging to my hair and clothes, and I found myself pausing when I reached the front door so I could look outside. The glass had been covered by metal signs, forcing me to open the door, and once I had, I frowned. From here, the thick cloud of smoke was visible in the distance, wider than it had been yesterday, and darker, too. It billowed into the air, turning what should have been a blue sky a dusty color and making it seem as if a storm was on the way even though there wasn’t a cloud in sight. If we didn’t get some rain soon, we were going to be in trouble.

  Stepping back inside, I let the door swing shut and headed back the way I’d come, pausing only when I passed the cafeteria so I could peek inside. Zara was at a table with Hank, Lexi, Mike, and Randall, as well as a few other kids. They had a puzzle out, and there were some coloring books and crayons on the table as well, and everyone but Hank seemed absorbed in the activity. He was staring at my sister.

  I shook my head as I turned away, continuing down the hall once again, and after only a few steps, I was met by the din of voices, which had me moving faster. It was Devon, and he sounded pissed.

  “You better think of something, because I’m not leaving her there. You got it?”

  I paused when I stepped into the room, taking in the scene. Doug stood between Devon and Gabe, who looked like they were about to rip each other’s heads off, and Lisa didn’t appear much happier. She was behind Devon, her arms crossed and her mouth set in an unhappy line, while Lane was once again off to the side, sitting in a chair and looking almost bored.

  “What’s going on?” I asked, drawing everyone’s attention my way.

  “This asshole,” Devon waved to Gabe, “says there’s no way to get into the hospital.”

  “Look,” Gabe let out a long breath, giving off the impression he was not only about to repeat something he’d already said, but that he was tired of having to do it, “I’ve been to the hospital plenty of times on the job. I’m a cop, remember?” He waved to himself as if his muscles were the only credential needed to prove he’d once been an officer of the law. “I have a pretty good idea what part of the hospital Heath cleared out, and I’m telling you that getting in won’t be easy. Probably impossible. He’s not stupid, which means he would have blocked all the exits except one.”

  “That would be stupid in and of itself,” I said.

  Gabe frowned, his gaze sweeping over me. “How’s that?”

  “You want an escape route, something we don’t have.” I paused, waiting for that to sink in before continuing. “What if Heath shows up at our front door tonight? He’s heavily armed and has a lot of backup, we know that from the farm, so it would be easy for him to get in. We’re all on one side of the building, but the only two exits not completely blocked are the front door and the one leading to the courtyard. Heath and his men would have them blocked off in no time, and we’d be trapped. You guys piled so many desks in front of the other doors that we’d never be able to get out in a hurry.” Again, I paused, looking around to see if I had everyone’s attention. “If Heath is as smart as you say he is, he’ll have thought of the same thing.”

  Doug was staring at Gabe. “She’s right. We’ve cornered ourselves.”

  “I thought blocking all the other doors was the best solution.” His gaze was focused on me. “I can’t believe you thought of that when I didn’t.”

  “Why? Because I’m a woman?” I gave an unconcerned shrug because, really, it didn’t matter to me. If he was foolish enough to assume he was smarter than every woman he met, that was his problem. “I happen to be very smart. Despite my boobs, that is.”

  “That’s not what I meant,” Gabe said.

  Lane let out a snort. “Stop trying to pretend, because we all know the truth.”

  Gabe ground his teeth, but he didn’t respond.

  “What do you suggest we do?” Doug asked.

  I turned my focus back to Gabe, who had his arms crossed and seemed to actually be pouting. “You said you’ve been to the hospital a lot, but does that mean you can draw up a rough diagram of the layout?”

  “I think so.” His shoulders rose and fell. “I mean, I’m no artist, but I should be able to give you the general idea.”

  “We start there. Once we have a rough drawing, we can stake out the hospital. See if we can get a better idea which parts of the building they aren’t using and what doors might be accessible.” I switched my focus to Lane. “In the meantime, we need to head over to the gym and leave a note in case Heath tries to make contact.” I paused, thinking. “A radio wouldn’t be a bad idea. If he can get in touch with us whenever he wants, it might make him less inclined to try to figure out where we’re staying. Assuming he doesn’t already know.”

  I looked the others over to find them nodding, and noticed Doug studying me, an impressed expression on his face.

  “What did you do before all this?”

  “What did I do?” I repeated, not sure what he was getting at. “I was a college student studying physics.”

  At that, Doug’s eyebrows rose. “What were you going to do with that?”

  “I don’t—”

  I froze, the realization of how much had changed slamming into me. It took my breath away. Nothing. That was what I’d do with my education and hard work now. Absolutely nothing. It was staggering to think about. Of course, I’d known how much the world had changed even before we left Arizona, but I hadn’t taken the time to sit down and really think about what those changes would mean until this moment. There had been too many other things to worry about. Getting to Indiana so I could check on Zara, wrapping my brain around the fact that zombies were real, getting supplies, and now Rowan. I hadn’t been able to focus on the big picture because I’d been too fixated on the little things. On getting through one day at a time.

  Sadness I hadn’t expected pulsed through me. It was like I’d lost something huge. A loved one, even, which was stupid because that was something I’d never really had—with the exception of Zara—but my sorrow was so acute I felt almost like I was mourning.

  “Hey.” Devon put his hand on my arm, his worry suddenly transferred from Rowan to me. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” A few curls fell across my forehead when I shook myself. My hair was down for a change, but I needed to put it up before going anywhere. “I think it just hit me how different the future is going to be. I hadn’t thought about it before.”

  Devon gave my arm a pat that was meant to comfort me, and it worked, but only because it reminded me that this whole ridiculous zombie apocalypse situation had given me something I’d never had before. People. The world might have changed, and my future might have morphed into something I didn’t recognize, but I wasn’t alone, and that was something to be thankful for.

  I blew out a long breath, pushing my anguish away. “It doesn’t matter. Right now, we need to figure out how to get Rowan back.” I turned my attention to Gabe. “You get busy drawing that map.” My gaze flicked to Lane. “You can take me to the gym?”

  “You?” Gabe said.

  I ignored him, keeping my gaze locked on Lane, who said, “Yeah. No problem.”

  “Good.” I looked toward Lisa, who wore a small smirk I could only assume was directed at Gabe. “You want to come for backup?”

  “You know it.” She patted the gun at her waist.

  “Now, just wait a minute,” Gabe said, “I don’t think the three of you should be running off alone. You don’t know what you’re going to come across out there.”

  “We’ll be fine,” I replied. “Lisa’s a good shot, and Lane knows the area. Plus, you’re not my boss. Not now, not ever. I’m an adult, not a child, and I don’t need a babysitter or a knight in shining armor or whatever you think you are. I’ve been on my own most of my life, and I’ve handled it. A few zombies
haven’t changed that.”

  Lisa let out a small laugh, not even trying to hide it, but I didn’t look her way. I was too focused on Gabe, holding his gaze as I let my words sink in. Not blinking, not softening my expression. He needed to know who he was dealing with. I was quiet, but that didn’t make me meek, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to take orders.

  “Do we understand each other?” I asked when he said nothing.

  He cleared his throat and finally broke eye contact, choosing to focus on the ground. “Yeah.”

  “Good, then we won’t have any more problems.” I turned my attention to Lisa and Lane. “Give me twenty minutes? I need to check on Zara and the kids first.”

  “We’ll be ready and waiting,” Lane said.

  Lisa’s reply came in the form of a nod, and she was still smiling when she headed for the door, but the other woman’s expression was harder to read. Lane looked slightly pleased, but a little pissed off at the same time. I didn’t know her well enough to figure out what she was thinking, though.

  Gabe followed the two women to the door, walking like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs, but Doug didn’t leave. He was studying me, a thoughtful expression on his face.

  My body stiffened under the scrutiny. “What?”

  “Nothing. I mean, not nothing. I just realized you’re right and I’ve been an idiot. I went along with Gabe because he seemed like he knew what he was doing and I wanted to be safe, but it’s stupid to think only the men have valuable input. I’m sorry.”

  My shoulders relaxed, the unease sliding off me. “It’s okay. I mean, it isn’t, but admitting you were wrong makes it better. I appreciate it.”

  Doug nodded a couple times then glanced toward the door. “I’m going to make sure Gabe starts working on that map. He might not give a shit if Rowan’s okay, but I do.”

  He gave me one more inquisitive look before leaving.

  The second we were alone, Devon slumped into a chair and let out a long sigh. “What the hell was she thinking?”