1 Dewitched

by E. L. Sarnoff

  I gape at my cake, perched on a chair in the middle of our circle. It’s a towering confection frosted in a bright yellow. For the first time, that color is beautiful to me. A dozen or so flickering candles--all colors of the rainbow--sit on the top layer.

  “Dear, blow out your candles and make a wish,” says Flossie.

  I behold the cake. No one has ever baked one in my honor. My heart swells with emotion. I want it to last forever. Finally, with one big breath, I extinguish the candles. A head-to-toe tingly sensation spreads through my body. I’ve been reborn.

  Grimm slices the cake. “Who would like to share?” Ha! He’s trying to be funny.

  For the remainder of the session, we feast on the scrumptious cake. We exchange hugs and “I’ll miss you’s.” How close we’ve all become in such a short time, old inmates and new ones alike. Everyone wishes me good luck, except Sasperilla.

  “Can someone please tell me why she’s getting out and I’m not?” she sulks. No one’s listening.

  Rump teeters over to me. “I-I made this for you.”

  It’s another woven name bracelet. This time it says “JANE.” He carefully puts it on my wrist.

  Tears trickle down my face. “It’s beautiful, Rump. I’ll never take it off.” I bend down to hug my little hero. He blushes.

  I’m going to miss my Faraway family. I really am. I’ll let you in on a secret. I wished for everyone here to live happily ever after. Except maybe Sasperilla.

  ***

  When I return to my room in the evening, giddy with happiness, I discover I have a new roommate. She’s lanky like me, with sinewy arms, intense violet eyes, and raven black hair that’s cropped as short as mine. Slumped on the edge of Elz’s bed, she looks glum.

  “Hi,” I say cheerfully. I’m not going to let anyone get me down, now that I’m going home. “I’m Jane. Who are you?”

  “Gothel.” Her voice is deep and husky, almost like a man’s. She runs a hand through her hair and grimaces.

  “Lice?” I ask.

  “Hell no,” she snarls. “Two frickin’ fairies butchered my hair like Rapunzel’s. They wanted to give me a dose of my own medicine.”

  I’m not up for hearing her life story. “Don’t worry. It’ll grow back.”

  She lets out a scathing snort.

  “How’s your first day going otherwise?”

  “It sucked.”

  “Don’t worry. It gets better.” Honestly.

  “Dragon dung!”

  I wonder if she knows I’m getting out of here tomorrow. I’ll break the news to her in the morning.

  “Sweet dreams,” I say, climbing into bed.

  “Fuck you.”

  Whoof! She’s got a long road to recovery.

  CHAPTER 19

  “Good morning, birdies,” I chirp as they pull down my covers. “I’m going home today!”

  I don’t need caffeine to get me out of bed. I’m pumped up enough.

  “Lalalala,” I sing on top of my lungs. It’s my last day at Faraway.

  “Shut up!” grumbles my new roommate Gothel. Her head is buried under her pillow. I don’t blame her. My singing is painful.

  “Why are you so friggin’ cheerful?” she asks, finally getting out of bed.

  It’s time to tell her. “It’s my last day here. I’m going back to Lalaland this morning.”

  “Go to hell.” She swats at the birds. “And take these freaks with beaks with you.”

  I know just how she feels. Trapped and hopeless. “Don’t worry,” I say. “You’ll get out of here one day too.”

  ***

  Breakfast. After today, no more berry picking. And no more sunshine. Tomorrow, when I wake up, I’m going to have real meal. A big cup of steaming black coffee served to me in bed. My bed in my castle. And then, my magic mirror and I are going to have a little chat about the future.

  Hook swaggers up to me. Now, what does he want?

  “Jane, I want to apologize for my behavior and wish you good luck back in Lalaland.”

  Wow. He actually has a conscience. Maybe the swine really is on the road to recovery.

  He brushes up against me. “So, do you think you can introduce me to your new roommate? She’s a real babe!”

  Some things just never change.

  ***

  My last morning meditation with Fanta, Flossie, and Fairweather. With my eyes closed, I chant my final OM. When I open them, I decide I’m going to make meditation a part of my new life. It releases stress and empowers me. I’m going to send peace and healing into the world and make those three Badass Fairies proud of me.

  ***

  I bound up the spiral stairs to Shrink’s office, taking two steps at a time and counting each one. I think back to the first time I made the climb and was panting every step of the way. Now, it’s effortless. I reach Shrink’s office in no time--333 steps in all.

  I lie down in the chaise in the same position I’ve assumed every day at this time for the last three weeks (except for the time I was ill). Instead of relaxing, my heartbeat accelerates from excitement and anticipation.

  As usual, Shrink’s late. How rude of her! The least she could have done is get here on time knowing how eager I am to go home.

  At last, she makes her grand entrance, flying into the room at lightning speed. Fairy dust surrounds me.

  “Jane, since it’s our last session together, I’ve brought you a little going away present.”

  A present for me?

  She hands me a small blue box that’s wrapped with a messy white bow.

  “Sorry about the wrapping. I’m not good at those kinds of things.”

  “It’s okay.” I’m touched by the gesture. Besides, I’m not a bow person anyway.

  I carefully unwrap the package. Inside is a shiny gold locket on a chain. It’s beautiful.

  “I’d like you to stand up and open the locket,” Shrink says.

  I rise and almost collapse back onto the chaise. Inside the gold case is a mirror, about the size of the magnifying glass Shrink used in our first session.

  “Jane, take a look at yourself.”

  I’m trembling all over. The locket shakes in my hand. It’s been over seven years since I’ve seen myself in a mirror.

  Slowly, I raise the mirror to my face. My heart hammers with apprehension.

  I gasp as I meet my own eyes. My face looks fuller with my short hair, and I’ve got not just one freckle, but many. I even have a few fine lines.

  As I study my reflection, the shock dies down. Actually, I don’t look that bad with my hair this length. It brings out my high cheekbones and wide-set eyes. I could get used to it. And I could probably cover up the freckles and lines with some makeup. I risk a smile. And my reflection smiles back.

  “Jane, who do you see?” asks Shrink.

  What is this? Some kind of trick question? “Me!” I snap.

  “Yes, Jane, when you stand up close to a mirror, you are the whole universe.”

  Where is she going with this?

  “Now, we’re going to play a game.”

  Not another one of her stupid games! Doesn’t she know how eager I am to go home?

  “I want you to move the mirror away from you about a foot.”

  Fine. I’ll do anything to get out of here. I extend my arm. Magically, the freckles and fine lines disappear.

  “Now, who else do you see?” asks Shrink, hovering behind me.

  “I can see you.”

  “Yes, Jane. You are no longer the only one in the universe. Now, move the mirror further away from you, and tell me what else you see.”

  “I see the wall clock,” I say after moving the mirror another foot away from me. For the first time, I notice the hands don’t move. The clock can chime, but it can’t tell time. No wonder Shrink’s always late.

  “Yes, Jane, the further away you are, the more you discover.”

  I’m shocked by the results of her little experiment. I don’t know what to say.

  Flying halfw
ay around my head to face me, she continues her lecture.

  “Interestingly, a mirror can be a gateway to the world around you. A tool for learning and growing. But if used incorrectly, it can be an instrument for evil.”

  I process what she’s saying. It’s a lot of information.

  “Jane, by connecting with other people at Faraway, you’ve traveled beyond yourself, beyond the close-up in your mirror.”

  All at once, memories of all the people I’ve connected with at Faraway swirl around in my head. My best friends Elz and Winnie who were always there for me. Kind Rump. Sweet Pinocchio. Even full-of-himself Hook and nasty Sasperilla. Good times and bad times. We’ve been through so much together. Swamped with emotion, I sob.

  Still holding the mirror at a distance, I watch the tears roll down my face. I’ve never seen myself cry. I am a different person. I snap the locket shut.

  Shrink helps me brush away my tears. “You must continue your journey when you return to the land of fairy tales.”

  “I’m not fully recovered?” I sniffle.

  “Jane, the road is long, and there’s still a distance to go. You must find the true meaning of beauty.”

  “How do I do that?” I ask, my throat burning.

  “All I will tell you is that beauty is not in your face. It is a light inside your heart.”

  I fidget with the locket. Her words make no sense to me.

  “Our time’s almost up. Is there anything you’d like to ask me?”

  “Has my castle been cleaned up for my return?”

  “Ah, yes, I almost forgot to tell you. You’ll be boarding at a prince’s castle. You’ll be the personal assistant to his PIW.”

  My heart tumbles like it’s fallen down a wishing well. How could she do this to me? I was so looking forward to going home.

  “What’s a PIW?” The words fly out of my mouth like angry bees. I’m back to despising her.

  “A Princess in Waiting. This job, if you wish to call it that, will test all the interpersonal skills you’ve learned here and help you discover the true meaning of beauty. If you succeed and hence fully recover from your addiction, you’ll be free to return to your castle. And resume your life.”

  I am disappointed, resentful, and anxious. Almost sick. “And what if I fail?”

  “I’m afraid you won’t be able to remain in Lalaland nor will you have another chance.”

  The hair on the back of my neck bristles. I have to stay hopeful and focused. I must!

  “Jane, we have time for one last question. Make it a good one.”

  I swallow hard, pushing the anger and pain down my throat. There is something I’ve been thinking about since I’ve been here. “Are people born evil or do they become evil?”

  Shrink flutters up and down like a yo-yo. “That is a good question, Jane. One I’ve wrestled with myself. We could talk about it for hours. All I will say now is that people are like apples.”

  Apples? My stomach churns. Why couldn’t she say watermelons, or bananas, or some other fruit when there are so many to choose from? I bet she’s trying to prove that she still knows how to get to me. How cruel! Especially on my last day here.

  I resist the urge to swat her as she continues. “All of us start off as blossoms, then mature into beautiful fruit. A few of us remain perfect while most others get blemishes. Those that stray too far from the tree often get stepped on or infested by a worm. They can grow rotten to the core.”

  Like Sasperilla. As much as it unnerves me, I have to admit her apple theory makes sense.

  “I almost forgot,” she adds as if an afterthought, “people, like apples, can be poisoned by the human hand.”

  Her words sting me like a hornet. I want to hurt this insipid insect of a woman just like she’s hurt me.

  “And I almost forgot,” I blurt out, “you should lose the glasses and wear your hair down. You’d look a lot prettier.”

  For a split-second, she’s speechless. That’s a first. Then she thanks me for the beauty advice. “And by the way, I never thanked you for saving my life.”

  Shrink smiles at me warmly. My anger melts away. I smile back. I’m actually going to miss her. I slip the mirrored locket over my head. It lies on my chest, close to my heart. Another round of tears is on its way.

  I’m saved by the chime. It’s the last time I’ll ever hear it.

  “Jane, it’s time for you to re-enter the world of fairy tales and find that light.”

  A coach to take me back must be waiting for me. I rise from the chaise.

  Before I can take a step, Shrink spins around my body like a tornado. Her tiny figure becomes a blur as her sparkling fairy dust envelops me.

  My feet are no longer on ground. It’s as if my body is leaving me. I’m being transported to another world!

  Shrink’s fairy dust was magical after all.

  BOOK TWO

  Beauty is as Beauty does.

  --Anonymous

  CHAPTER 20

  One minute, I’m in Shrink’s office; the next, I’m standing at the entrance of an imposing castle. Unfortunately, it’s not mine.

  I’m surprised when a little a girl wearing a red velvet bow opens the oak door. She is, in a word, exquisite. Her skin is as white as lilies, her lips as red as rosebuds, and her hair as golden as a harvest moon. She can’t be more than seven. The age Snow White was when my mirror first betrayed me. Sheesh! I’ve hardly stepped foot in Lalaland, and I’ve already got Snow White on my brain.

  Her chocolate brown eyes twinkle with a hint of mischief. “You must be Marcella’s latest assistant.”

  I’m not sure what she means by that.

  “I’m Calla Rose. What’s your name?”

  “Jane.” Plain Jane, I say to myself, glancing down at my simple servant’s uniform. I have no idea where it came from or how it got on me. Probably more of Shrink’s magic. At least it’s black, my favorite color, and I’m still wearing her mirrored locket and Rump’s name-bracelet.

  “Marcella asked me to give you this.” The little girl hands me an envelope.

  I tear it open. Inside is a note with instructions scribbled in red ink.

  TO-DO LIST FOR THE BALL

  1. TOP PRIORITY! Arrange for the delivery of all 2,552 invitations. Make sure you handwrite a little note from me on each one: “Can’t wait to see you there~xoxo Marcella”

  2. IMPORTANT! Find out what every princess is wearing. I don’t want to be caught dead wearing the same thing. BTW, I haven’t gotten a new gown yet. HINT! HINT! Please handle.

  3. SHH! Set up private dancing lessons for me. Find out where those twelve dancing princesses go. Keep your mouth shut about this. I want to surprise The Prince. SCRATCH THAT! He won’t be surprised when he gets the bill.

  4. DO ASAP! Contact the Fairytale Tattler. Make sure they cover the ball. Tell them I want a front page story about me soon, or I’ll cancel my subscription.

  5. EXTREMELY URGENT! Research the latest diet fads. I need to lose five pounds FAST! A liquid diet potion would be best.

  6. DON’T FORGET! Set up a spa appointment on the day of the ball. Be sure to include the following: mani-pedi, facial, massage, and makeup. And don’t forget excess hair removal. Convince them to throw that in free.

  7. REMINDER: Tell The Prince to pick out my engagement ring. It had better be at least ten carats. P.S. Make sure it’s flawless.

  8. MANDATORY! Find a babysitter for Calla on the night of the ball. On second thought, don’t bother. That’s YOUR job.

  Whoa! I’ve barely set two feet into this house, and I’ve got all this to do? Damn Shrink for sending me here.

  “If I were you, I wouldn’t bother doing any of this stuff,” says Calla. “You’ll probably be fired by tomorrow.”

  Good. I’m already packed to leave.

  Calla flashes me a dimpled smile. “I like your hair.”

  I run my fingertips through my scalp to see if it’s magically grown back. It hasn’t.

  The little girl skips aw
ay, leaving me alone to explore the castle.

  The interior is nothing like my dark, drafty castle. Bathed in sunlight, it’s a vision of blissful domesticity--in fact, it feels more like a cottage than a castle despite its grandness. Brightly colored floral fabrics cover the seating and drape the windows. The furnishings, though formal, look lived-in and comfortable. Vases of white roses and lilies are everywhere and fragrantly scent the air. I stop to smell a bouquet sitting on the fireplace mantle.

  “Hello. You must be my fiancée’s new assistant,” comes a voice from behind me.

  Startled, I swivel around and see a tall, strikingly handsome man, about my age with a short flaxen ponytail, descending the sweeping staircase. He looks a lot like Calla except his skin is bronzed and his eyes are blue. He must be the child’s father. The Prince. Marcella’s husband-to-be.

  “Yes, I’m Jane,” I say, gazing into his eyes as he strides toward me. They’re the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. The color of aquamarines.

  “Pleased to meet you.” He bows. “I am Prince Gallant.”

  Gallant? I swear that’s the prince Lady Germaine mentioned before her untimely passing. How weird!

  “Nice to meet you, too, My Lord,” I force myself to say. Even after Faraway, humbleness doesn’t come easily to me. I half-heartedly tack on a quick curtsey.

  “The formalities are not necessary. And I prefer to be called by my first name.”

  Gallant. That’s a pretentious name. It must go with his personality.

  “Is there anything I can get you?” he asks.

  Funny you should ask. How about some basics for making evil potions and a magic mirror? I’m regressing so quickly. Get a grip, Jane.