Escaping The Shadows Anthology: Shenanigans'19 @ The West Midlands Book Signing.

by Maria Lazarou

  My parents were charmed by Sarah, when they questioned me about keeping our relationship quiet, I tried to protest and put them right, only for Sarah to seemingly reinforce the idea by slipping her arm through mine and smiling up at me with what I took for pride.

  My parents invited everyone to join us for dinner and, by the end of the night, even I was questioning when the friendship between Sarah and I had turned into more. Only Susan did not seem thrilled by this development, that night when I dropped them off Susan went straight inside, and Sarah and I kissed for the first time.

  For the next month we spent every spare minute together, She was working in a clothes shop, I would drop her off and pick her up after work, our evenings were spent watching tv, eating takeaway, we didn’t go out much but I didn’t think too much of it after all the last few months she had fitted in with us, I saw no reason that would change now.

  Helen returned from a holiday with James and we set about getting the business set up, Sarah and James were both very supportive, they did not complain if we were late home, they would keep each other company waiting for our return. A week before the business was ready to launch Sarah took me aside and told me she loved me but as I was about to become a successful business man I needed a makeover.

  Chapter Five

  I was so blown away by the fact she had told me she loved me for the first time I didn’t question any of the choices she made as she took me first to the opticians to replace my glasses with contact lens, then to a hairdresser, rather than my usual budget barber. By the end of the day, I did not recognise the man looking back at me. That night we ate out at one of the trendy restaurants in town and I felt so proud of the fact the most beautiful girl in the place was in love with me.

  “Sounds like a match made in heaven, beauty and the brains.”

  Dave laughed but it was hollow, the smile did not reach his eyes.

  “At the time, I would have grinned at you like a cat that got the cream if you had said that to me. Helen and James got married six months after we started the business, I was the best man, Susan, and Sarah her maids of honour. Everything was going so well, after a few teething problems the business was starting to run smoothly, we were confident that before the end of the first year we would be breaking even and by the end of the second, we would be in profit.

  I started thinking about the future myself I brought up the idea of moving in together, but Sarah was not keen on the idea of moving into my flat. I admit it was small and a bit of geeky man cave, but I was sure we could adapt, she was determined that if we were going to live together it should be somewhere new for the next chapter of our journey as she put it. She found an ally in my mother during a weekend visit, while she had been happy to live in a poky flat with my dad it was because they had no choice at the time, we did, by the time we left my parents on Sunday afternoon she and my mum had found four houses for us to go look at. Even my dad had chimed in pointing out that if we wanted to entertain clients, or even just more than four people at a time, we needed more space.

  A month later I signed for the deeds of a three-bedroom detached house that was bigger than we needed and more than we could really afford but she had taken my mum to view it without me knowing and they had put down fifty percent of the asking price in cash, an early wedding present they said.”

  “When had you decided you were getting married?”

  “I hadn’t but it seemed Sarah had. By this point we were seeing less of Susan and her new partner, we still socialised with Helen and James but now it was more nights out in posh bars and art gallery openings. Sarah was complaining about how much she hated her job, I hated seeing her so unhappy and, as the mortgage was less than my rent had previously been, I told her if she wanted, she could quit it. I would support her until she found another job she would enjoy more. A month turned into six and by the end of it she had refurbished the house, bought the ring, and planned the wedding, without me having ever actually popped the question.

  The thing was I didn’t care, I loved her, I still could not believe that this beautiful woman wanted to be with a nerd like me. I didn’t want to say no to her and burst the bubble I was living in, and honestly, I was happy with how it was all going, I had the dream career, the perfect house and a goddess who wanted to be my wife. I had nothing to complain about. Helen commented a few times about me putting my foot down and taking control of my life back, but I was happy to be taken care of.

  Occasionally, I would point out to her that the credit cards were supposed to be for emergencies, not manicures but she would smile and snuggle up to me, she knew exactly how to distract me and make me forget everything else.

  Looking back, the only time we argued seriously was when I mentioned her parents, I would suggest inviting them for dinner or to stay for the weekend and then she would get upset, pick fights over everything until the subject was dropped. Of course, there was one day where she was going to have to invite them, the wedding day. I thought I would finally get to the bottom of what had gone on between them and, in my stupidity, I even imagined myself fixing the problem and the day ending with us all stood watching the sunset.”

  “I take it that is not what happened?”

  “They never came!”

  “What? They missed their daughter’s wedding?”

  “It was about two months before the wedding when she mentioned a sick relative in the States, a month later the ‘aunt’ was at death's door and a fortnight after that, the night before the wedding rehearsal dinner, they decided they needed to fly out to be by her bedside. I offered to delay the wedding, but they insisted we go ahead.

  Two weeks later we tied the knot in front of my family and a hundred friends, her parents sent a telegram wishing us well and apologising for their absence, it was almost the perfect day.”

  “Almost?”

  “It was at the end of the night, it was time for us to say goodnight and leave for our honeymoon, well for the hotel, we weren’t actually flying for a couple of days, I couldn’t see Sarah, so I went looking. I found her, or rather should I say, I heard her, there was a heated exchange between her and Susan around the corner.

  I stopped and listened, I knew I should make my presence known but I was too curious, Susan was trying to comfort Sarah, but she wasn’t having any of it, I heard her disown her parents, saying if they couldn’t forgive her after all this time then she wanted nothing more to do with them. Susan was trying to calm her, but she was adamant, there was no dying aunt, her parents just held a grudge against her. I was appalled, I had no idea at that point why, but I was determined they would not hurt her anymore, and I would make sure she had the perfect life. I returned back to the room and waited for her to return, I never mentioned what I had heard.

  For the next ten years, we had what I considered to be the perfect life. I adored her, I believed she loved me, business was thriving, we had plenty of money and now with a bigger workforce we had time to spend it. We ate out, went on holidays, inside I was still the geek who would have happily stayed at home watching a film, but she wanted to be seen out and about and I wanted her to be happy.”

  “How did it all go wrong? How did you end...”

  Dave held up his hand, and pulled out another cigarette, this time when he was offered one, he refused it, taking another drink from the bottle, he could tell the time was drawing near for him to tell his own story and he needed the Dutch courage.

  “It started when Helen was diagnosed with cancer, it was strange she didn’t even seem ill, it was just something niggling at her, we had one conversation about me buying her out, but I was determined she was going to be okay. She said we would talk again after she began treatment, but we never did, she went downhill so quickly. I was trying to keep going at work and be there for my friend, but Sarah started complaining it was interfering with her plans, instead of being there for me she became distant. I tried to fool myself that maybe she couldn’t handle grief, after all, she had b
een friends with Helen for years too, I felt guilty at my jealousy when she seemed able to support James but not me.

  The cancer was more aggressive than anyone had predicted, it was only three months later that we stood by Helen’s graveside, Sarah appeared the dutiful wife but that morning getting ready, the only person she had seemed concerned for was James, not me, or even her sister who had been Helen’s best friend in those early years of our friendship.

  Chapter Six

  I knew I would have to sort out the business and had made an appointment with the solicitor for the following week to draw up the papers to buy James out, so I was shocked when, two days after the funeral, I walked into the office to find him sat behind Helen’s desk. My initial thought was stupidity, he must have come to clear her desk, but then I noticed that had already been done, and her stuff had been dumped unceremoniously in a box next to the bin.

  He announced his intention of taking over her role in the company, I tried to reason with him, this was not his field of expertise, but he was determined. The clause my father had insisted we insert was to stop one partner forcing a sale from the other and ensure that a partner wishing to get out had to offer the other the chance to buy them out. I explained that I was prepared to make a very generous offer and would have the papers drawn up, but he wanted none of it, he even suggested I was trying to take advantage of our friendship and his grief to make him take an offer for less than it was worth.

  For the next few months, he came into the office every day sat in her office but didn’t actually do her share of the work, when I again brought up the idea of buying him out, he came back with a figure six times what the full business was worth at that point. Then the accounts department started sending me emails about missing money. I should have stopped it then, should have called in the police, but we had been friends. When I tried to talk to Sarah, she told me I was being stupid, obviously someone in accounts was messing up it was them I should be investigating not one of my oldest friends.”

  “What did you do?”

  “For the next fortnight I told my accounts team to double check everything, if I was going to deal with this, I needed all the evidence in black and white, I arranged a date for my solicitor to come into the office for a meeting to go through everything. It was my parent's wedding anniversary the following weekend we were all going away together to stay in a cottage in the lakes. I had, of course, confided everything in Sarah, that was my biggest mistake.

  The day before we were going away, she said she felt sick, and she did seem pale and clammy, I offered to cancel going, my parents could still enjoy themselves without us, but she insisted I went. She was just going to spend the weekend in bed and sleep no point in us both missing out.

  Reluctantly I left her the next morning, I called her that night she answered, I described the cottage, she spoke to my parents, everything seemed okay. The Saturday I called her a couple of times in the morning to check on her, again she said everything was fine she was just tired and that I shouldn’t call again, I should just have a good time and she was going back to bed with a supply of chocolate and a stack of DVDs to watch. I told her I loved her, but she had rung off.

  Sunday, I got stuck in traffic heading home, a lorry had jack-knifed on the motorway, I tried calling but there was no answer I guessed she was asleep, so I sent a text for her to call me, but she never called.

  I knew something was wrong the minute I pulled into the drive, the house was in total darkness, even if she was in bed, I would have expected some light from the television in the bedroom. Then I noticed her car was gone, and the panic subsided, she must have felt a little better and gone out after being cooped up all weekend, I did think it strange she hadn’t called or texted, but I grabbed my bags from the boot, and went inside.

  My house was empty.”

  Dave stopped, he rolled his eyes and his head dropped back, this was obviously getting to him, in telling his story he seemed to have aged, the lines on his face more noticeable, visible he appeared to be bracing himself for what was to come.

  “When I say the house was empty, I don’t just mean she wasn’t there I mean it was empty. Every item of furniture, every painting on the wall, everything was gone except for two things. As I walked in the kitchen, there was a letter addressed to me on the worktop, and in the sink, our wedding photo was smashed. I was in shock. I don’t know how long I stood there before I picked up the letter and looked at it.

  Basically, it said she had never loved me and had only been with me for the money, she said she and James had a fling while Helen and I set the company up, then a few years ago, they had begun an affair. They had been planning to divorce Helen and myself, but then she got cancer so James couldn’t leave her. Now James was free, well, they were going to be together. She said she wasn’t giving me chance to do her out of what she was owed for putting up with me so she had sold the contents of the house to a clearance company and by the time I was reading the letter, she and James would be out of the country.”

  “She sold everything? What a bitch!”

  “Yes everything, I was literally left with an empty house, my car and a bag of dirty clothes I had brought back with me. I sat on the floor and cried, I stayed there all night, I didn’t know what to do.

  In the early hours of the morning I went upstairs, I couldn’t even take a shower as there were no towels, I had no clean clothes to change into, the solicitor was coming to the office in the morning about the accounts so I would get him onto this at the same time but that night I didn’t know who I could turn to. I didn’t want to ring my parents, most of our friends were more her friends.

  Next morning, I drove to a local supermarket as soon as it opened, it was one of the superstore types that sells everything, I bought a couple of changes of clothes, underwear, and toiletries. I made sure I arrived at the office before everyone else then got washed and shaved in my private bathroom and put on the clothes I had just bought. I fired up the computer and began checking out my bills and bank accounts. I have to give it to her; she had been thorough.

  The last few months it appeared that instead of paying the bills she had set up a new account and then sent the money to it, no doubt by the time I got someone to trace it the money would be gone. She had done the same with the mortgage, I was behind on everything by three months, she had also maxed each of the credit cards she had in my name, the transactions all showed cash withdrawals up to the limit in the last month. She had withdrawn cash from the joint bank account, I found myself thankful that she had not taken everything, but that she had left me with enough to cover what I had spent on my debit card that morning. Even though she had not been able to access my savings account, I had been, well and truly, screwed over.

  Then the solicitor arrived, and an hour later as the meeting finished, I hit what I thought was rock bottom. James had embezzled funds, while I had expected it the actual numbers stunned me, the amounts had been small, until the last fortnight, until after I told Sarah I was going to have everything investigated. Then, serious money had gone missing, suppliers had not been paid and the money for that month's wages was short, in short, the business was in real trouble and I did not have the money in my personal account to bail it out.”

  “What the hell did you do? Didn’t you go to the police? Couldn’t they get the money back? What about insurance?”

  “All questions I asked. Turns out, there is no actual law against your wife selling the furniture, don’t get me wrong I could go after her for the personal stuff she had sold but they basically told me to sort it out in the divorce court, insurance didn’t cover the house as she had keys. Same with the bank, she had every right to take the money from joint accounts and to spend on cards I had given her. The only line we could pursue was the fraud James committed in taking the funds from the business, but that was going to be a long slow process, and there was no guarantee I would see a penny back. I used my savings to pay the staff wages and then had to te
ll the staff that it was over.

  I had no choice but to go for bankruptcy, the bank would not bail me out because he still legally owned half the company, if I had managed to salvage it, he would have still been entitled to a share of it.

  There I was, 44, homeless, and penniless. Yes, I could have let my parents bail me out, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell them what had happened. I was a failure, they had set me up with everything, the best education, the money to start a business, the money for a nice home, they had done it all for me, how could I go to them and ask them to do it again?

  Chapter Seven

  By the time I was finished, I had paid off everyone and managed to pay the staff a month’s wages in lieu of notice. I was living in a cheap bedsit and hiding at the bottom of a bottle. I made excuses to avoid people, I was good at coming up with excuses why I couldn’t go places or do things. In the space of three months, I had gone from having it all, to little more than destitute.

  Then, the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, I received a message to go to my solicitor's office, I hadn’t been in since the bankruptcy proceedings, he had filed divorce papers for me but there was not enough money spare to hire anyone to find out where she was to serve them.

  When I walked in my parents were sat there, I know he had meant well contacting them, but the look on their faces, the pain and worry, everything I had been seeking to avoid. I lost my temper and started shouting at him. Months of anger and frustration were unleashed at someone who was only trying to help me, my mother was crying and that made it worse. My dad tried to calm me, he was close to tears himself, he couldn’t understand why I hadn’t gone to them. How could I ever explain my shame to them?

  I stormed out, I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do. I had a few pounds in my pocket and a small amount left in my bank account, I didn’t want to go back to the bedsit in case they knew about that, so I bought a bottle, tucked it in my pocket and headed to a park. I spent the day there drinking when I finished the first bottle, I went and bought a second, this one I drank while walking around.