Beefcakes

by Katana Collins

  “And sometimes less,” Liam added.

  “This place isn’t considered a violation of Section VI. Yet… our bakery is?”

  I held out my hands to emphasize the point. Let him draw his own conclusions.

  “Our purpose isn’t to shame the club here or the workers in it. I hope that us bringing you here doesn’t result in them getting shut down, too. We just wanted to show the similarities in our situation. Yet, we’re being treated like pariahs, even though our business is bringing in a whole new type of tourism to Maple Grove, as you can see by the numbers we showed you earlier. We aren’t the only ones benefitting from Beefcakes’ new clientele.”

  “You boys do make a good point,” Mayor Dyker said as Angel re-entered with a basket of wings and bacon-wrapped dates.

  “There’s one more thing we’d love to discuss if you have the time, Mr. Mayor,” I said ignoring the confused look Liam was giving me.

  “There is?”

  I nodded at my brother.

  “Make it fast, boys,” Mr. Dyker said, glancing at his watch… an impressive Rolex.

  From somewhere beyond our private room, we heard something crash.

  “Oh, God. Oh, no. I’m so sorry,” a voice cried from beyond our closed door. I smiled to myself. Lainey. I pulled my cell phone out of the breast pocket of my suit jacket and hit the end call button. I’d had it muted the whole time so that she could hear every word we were saying, but no matter how loud she screamed, we wouldn’t hear her. And now here she was… right on time.

  I knew she’d figure out where we were. I was just hoping we’d get our point across to her father first. In fact… I was counting on her figuring out where we were.

  “I’m looking for my dad,” I heard her say out in the hallway. “I mean, not that I want to find him here. But…” she sighed. “Can you just tell me where he is?”

  “Is that Elaina?” Mayor Dyker said, standing.

  I jumped to my feet and opened the door. There she was, standing just a few doors down from us, speaking with a bouncer who had his arms folded. Not that that would intimidate Lainey. We all knew better in this town than to think some meathead could boss her around.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t discuss our clients.”

  Her jaw twitched. “But he’s not a client or a patron here…”

  The bouncer raised his brow. “If he’s in these walls, then honey, I’m afraid he is a client. Whether or not he’s your daddy.”

  She made a gagging sound. “Oh, gross. He’s my father, not my ‘daddy,’” she said throwing air quotes around the word.

  “Then, trust me, sweetheart… you don’t want to find him in here.”

  Her lips tightened into an angry pucker, the apples of her cheeks blooming pink. “Call me sweetheart one more time,” she hissed. “I dare you.”

  As much as I wanted to continue watching this play out… the last thing we needed was for Lainey Dyker to end up on the front page of the Maple Grove Gazette for landing in jail for a bar fight at the strip club. Actually, God, I would pay good money to see that happen. But I had an agenda today. Unfortunately.

  “Lainey,” I said.

  Her eyes snapped to me and she glanced back at the bouncer… no, ‘glanced’ is too passive. She glared at him before spinning on her heels and stomping over to me.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  “Elaina,” her dad boomed from inside the private room. “This is a business meeting. And we don’t use that kind of language when talking government business.”

  Her shoulders tensed around her ears, like she was a teenager being scolded. Must be one of the downfalls of working for a parent. Hell, I knew how that felt.

  I let loose one quiet chuckle – a huff, really – that only she could hear… and if looks could kill, I would have dropped dead right there.

  She cleared her throat, straightening her black suit jacket. “Sorry, Mayor Dyker,” she said and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her.

  “Neil, Liam, and I were having a really interesting meeting,” Mayor Dyker said. “Did you know they serve food here at the gentleman’s club?”

  She swallowed, her eyes darting to me briefly. “I actually only just learned that today.”

  Her dad nodded thoughtfully. It was actually a genius answer… not a lie. At least, I didn’t think so.

  “Well,” Mayor Dyker said, “I don’t think we can uphold this health code violation for Beefcakes if it isn’t also a violation here.”

  She swallowed. “If I may, sir. I don’t think the answer is letting Beefcakes off from the violation. I think this means we need to shut down the gentleman’s club as well. Hit them with the same violation.” She paused, sending that dagger-filled glare back at me. “You know, for consistency’s sake.”

  The mayor sighed. “Elaina, I was giving you an out just now. Take the out.”

  She blinked, looking at her father. “What do you mean?”

  He rubbed his brow. “We aren’t going to shut down this club, Elaina. It’s unconstitutional and you know it. And after reading Section VI, I agree with the Evans brothers that there is no code violation for serving food shirtless as long as they are wearing gloves and hats.”

  Lainey snorted. “So, they need to cover the hair on their head to serve food, but armpit hair is fine?”

  “You might not like the code or the law… but that is how it’s written. We can’t have one set of rules for some people and another for others.” The mayor shrugged and it seemed that he and Lainey had maybe had this discussion – or something similar – before.

  Her lips disappeared into a thinning, white line. “Fine,” she snipped the word short and sharp, avoiding my eyes.

  Mayor Dyker looked at me once more. “What was the other thing you wanted to discuss, son?”

  I could feel Lainey’s muscles tensing beside me. On one hand, I felt kind of bad for getting her into trouble. But on the other hand, this was our business… our livelihood. And while I didn’t necessarily love being whored out for the sake of selling more cupcakes, we weren’t in violation of anything. And it was damn shady of her to try to pull that stunt.

  So yeah, I felt bad. But not that bad.

  “Liam and I have a meeting with my old production studio from Los Angeles tonight. They want us, well, Beefcakes to be featured on a TV show this season… here in Maple Grove.”

  Both Mayor Dyker and Lainey went slack-jawed at that.

  The mayor was the first to speak, his face splitting into a grin. “Well,” he said. “That’s exciting.”

  Lainey’s eyes narrowed even more – a feat I would have thought impossible. “Exciting isn’t quite the word I would use,” she said.

  “It has the potential to be great for our town,” Liam cut in, sending me a quick look. He knew we needed to get Lainey to that meeting tonight. “As we showed you earlier, Beefcakes has already increased tourism to Maple Grove by thirty percent in the last three weeks. Imagine the tourism we would see after a television show. It would take that growth and make it sustainable, rather than tapering off after the excitement of the viral internet stuff dies down.”

  Mayor Dyker’s eyes lit up. “It sounds promising. But what do you need from me?”

  Liam opened his mouth, then shut it again, looking to me. What we needed was Lainey at the meeting tonight… but that wasn’t going to go over well.

  The evil genius inside of me smirked and rubbed his palms together.

  “Well,” I said. “A couple of things. The first is that I thought the crew could stay at the artists’ residency center for the time that we film… if we film. It’s nearly empty and maybe the show can shine some light on that amazing program the town offers. It’s a shame to see them hurting so much lately.”

  Mayor Dyker hmm’d and looked at his daughter, who was still studying me with slit eyes. “That’s a great idea. We’ve been trying to brainstorm how to get the residency center back to what it used to be. That can’t hurt, right
Elaina?”

  Her jaw twitched, but she nodded. “If they get the permits to film… yes, I agree, that’s not a bad idea.” She spoke slowly. Cautiously.

  “Or at the very least it will be filled to capacity for a few months while filming,” Liam added, smiling at me.

  Oh, little brother. I’m not done yet.

  “What’s the catch?” Lainey asked.

  I held out my hands. “No catch. Believe it or not, we love this town, too and want to see it thrive.”

  “I don’t believe you,” she snapped.

  “Elaina,” her dad warned.

  “I’m sorry Dad, but this is fishy. He claims to love this town so much, but he left ten years ago and only came back… what, five times in ten years?”

  “Just because I left doesn’t mean I want it to fail here, Lainey.”

  “It also doesn’t mean you care, Neil. And for the last time, I go by Elaina now!”

  “Okay,” Mayor Dyker held up his palms between us. “Neil… is there a catch?”

  I shook my head. “No catch. I know that some people in town haven’t been the biggest fans of Beefcakes and the new clientele it’s bringing into town. To try to smooth this out and as a peace offering,” I said pointedly to Lainey, “I wanted to know if Elaina wanted to join our initial production meeting with the studio tonight. We could have her on as a producer or a consultant to make sure that nothing portrays the town in an… unsavory way.”

  Lainey’s brows jerked higher, disappearing beneath her bangs.

  Liam’s eyes widened and he sent me a knowing smile. There it was… the lightbulb over his head. We had to get her to the meeting tonight somehow. Just get her to the dinner and let Jude and Ash convince her to do the show. That was their job, anyway.

  “What do you say, Dyker?” I asked, hands out.

  “There’s no catch?” she asked again, and I shook my head. Because there wasn’t… not for her. She truly could get what she wanted here. Control.

  The mayor stood, buttoning his suit jacket. “I think that’s a great idea. Lainey will be there tonight,” he said, resting his hand on her shoulder.

  “Maybe I have plans,” she said, crossing her arms.

  “Your plans were dinner with your mother and me. And we understand.” He paused, pointing a finger at us, but mostly at me. “Don’t pull another stunt like this again with me. If you want a meeting, we meet in my office or at a nice steakhouse like civilized people.”

  “Yes, sir,” Liam and I said in unison.

  We watched Mayor Dyker leave, the bouncer escorting him out the back door where we had parked discreetly.

  Once he was gone, I got up to leave, grabbing a bacon wrapped date for the road, popping it in my mouth. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Lainey asked.

  I licked the sauce from my thumb, then hitched it over my shoulder. “Now that we’re back open for business, I have a few dozen cupcakes to bake for tomorrow.”

  Her eyes turned an even icier blue. “Are you kidding me right now? You don’t get your way, so you tattle on me to my daddy?” She shoved her palms down onto the leather couch cushion and pushed off, launching to her feet.

  “Uh… I’m gonna go wait in the parking lot,” Liam muttered and slipped out the door. Just before closing it behind him, he poked his head back in. “This was all Neil’s idea, Lainey.”

  That pussy.

  “Oh, I know. This whole plan reeks of Neil Evans.”

  I rolled my eyes. “That’s a bit dramatic, even for you.”

  “Even for me?” Her voice went shrill as she repeated that once more. “Even for me? What the hell, Neil? You took my father to a strip club.”

  “We needed to prove our point.” I folded my arms. “Look… you played dirty. I don’t know how you convinced the inspector to write that violation, but we didn’t deserve it. You know it, I know it, and now the mayor… not your dad, the mayor… knows it, too. You tried to break the rules and you got busted.” I shrugged. “That’s not my fault.”

  She sighed and collapsed back on the couch, her face falling into her hands. “You’re right,” she whispered.

  The tension in my jaw melted, and my folded arms slipped back down to my sides. “What did you say?”

  She didn’t look up from where her face was buried, so I slid into the seat beside her on the couch. “I said you’re right. I’m sorry. That code violation was… okay, to be fair, I legitimately don’t think it’s sanitary to be serving food shirtless.” She finally looked up from her hands, and although she wasn’t crying, her eyes were rimmed red. “And I didn’t realize they served food here half-naked. Which also… ew,” She kicked the basket of wings farther away from us with her toe. “Don’t eat those. There’s probably a pube in there.”

  I leaned in closer. “None of the women here have pubes, Lainey,” I whispered.

  She laughed, her head thrown back, and her eyes closed. It was a glorious sound. One I haven’t heard in years. For all my time being back in Maple Grove, she’s never once laughed like that in my presence. God, that made me feel like an ass. If I could make her laugh like that every day, I would. “So, there’s no carpet to match the drapes?” she asked.

  I shook my head. “Only hardwood floors in here.” I pulled the plate of the bacon wrapped dates closer to us and ate another one, groaning as the salty sweet flavor hit my tongue. “Man, if I could figure out a way to put bacon in cupcakes? I would.”

  Lainey scrunched her nose. “Bacon in cupcakes? Gross.”

  “Gross?” I feigned insulted. “No cupcake I bake is gross, Elaina Dyker.”

  “Sounds like a challenge. Bacon cupcakes…”

  “With bourbon,” I wiggled my brows at her. “A man’s cupcake.”

  “Hey!” she laughed. “Women like bacon and bourbon, too!” She fell back onto the couch, her palms resting against her flat, bouncing stomach. Exhaling a heavy breath, she looked at me without moving her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t love the bimbo clientele your bakery is bringing, but my dad’s right. It was wrong for me to try to shut you down just because I don’t love the types of women who are now stumbling down our cobblestone sidewalks in their four-inch wedge heels.”

  I shook my head, grinning at her. “Man, you really hate those bachelorette types,” I said, laughing. “Which is weird since your sister is one of them.”

  She groaned. “Chloe isn’t one of them. She may seem like it from the outside, but she’s smart and hard-working and…”

  “Hard-working?” I asked. “Didn’t she quit her job last September?”

  Elaina gave a resounding sigh. “Yeah,” she shook her head, disappointment draining her face of the joy I had seen moments ago. “I just hope she doesn’t turn into a Stepford Wife.”

  I draped my hand over hers and gave her a squeeze. “She won’t. She’s a Dyker. Even if she takes someone else’s last name, she’s still one of you.”

  Lainey smiled at me, a soft grin, and her eyes searched my face, landing on my lips.

  I felt myself drawing closer, my thumb on her hand circling in soft, feather-light movements. Her lips parted with a breath as I moved in closer, wanting to taste her once more. Ten years. It had been ten years since I knew what Lainey Dyker’s lips tasted like. Would she still whimper when I nibbled her bottom lip? Would those big lashes flutter closed and whisper my name on an exhale as I licked my way down her neck?

  She cleared her throat, turning her head just before my lips would have brushed hers. “Do you come here a lot?” she asked, looking around the private room.

  Her knee bounced nervously, and she slid her hand out from beneath mine, lacing her fingers tightly in her lap.

  “Once,” I said. “Finn took me here the first weekend I returned.”

  Lainey rolled her eyes. “Oh, Finn. What’s he up to these days?”

  I shrugged. “He has a dog walking business and he volunteers with the Maple Grove Animal Shelter. He’s also working for us in the mornings. God knows, we need
the help.”

  “And Addy?”

  My sister and Lainey used to be friends. Lainey was a year older than Addy, and back in high school, they were the wild children of Maple Grove high. They were the girls who snuck out of the house, had fake IDs, and got tattoos.

  My eyes roamed down to Lainey’s hip where I knew her first and probably only tattoo sat.

  But now? Addy hated Lainey. It was like they were mortal enemies. She would scoff anytime anyone mentioned the Dyker name in our house. Addy maintained her rocker chick lifestyle and had bought the local karaoke bar a few years ago. She was trying to turn it into a late-night bar, bakery, and grill. What can I say? Baking runs in the Evans blood, I guess. However, Addy’s attempt to extend the state’s curfews on last call—a somewhat futile attempt if you asked me—wasn’t going so well. And it didn’t help their relationship that Lainey had once fined Addy for violating a noise ordinance. Apparently, rock n’ roll had to be turned down to a noise level of 3 after eleven pm, which for Addy was sacrilegious.

  “Addy’s good. She has big plans for her Karaoke bar and bakery—she’s deciding between calling it Bombshells or StickyBuns.”

  Lainey rolled her eyes. “Both of them are so Addy.”

  “Hey,” I snapped.

  “Sorry,” she said. “Old habits.”

  “Aren’t town managers supposed to be good at glad-handing? Aren’t you supposed to like, I dunno, go around kissing babies and be the apple of everyone’s eye?”

  Lainey sighed. “Yeah. That’s never been my forte. But I do a damn good job, and most people in town know that. It makes up for my lack of bedside manner. Speaking of which...” She paused, pulling out the almond croissant I had tucked into her purse earlier. It was thoroughly smashed within the parchment paper bag. “Your note was… interesting.”

  I arched my brow at her. “I bragged about knowing you so well… but man. I did not see this almond croissant massacre coming. What do you have against almonds? Or was it the amount of butter that offended you? Because as a fitness expert, let me tell you butter isn’t the enemy. Sugar is the enemy.”