Her heart beat so hard she thought she might pass out. Her vision tunneled for a second. Be strong, Kay-Kay. You can do this. For Ana. For Bailey. For you.
“What’s that?”
Kayla closed her eyes. Her throat constricted. She forced them open again. Willed him to understand.
“I need you to marry me.”
Zach didn’t move. Didn’t blink. He was a mountain of hard muscle and he didn’t budge.
Didn’t say a word.
His eyebrows lifted, and her stomach went into free fall.
“What?”
Oh shit. Ohshitohshitohshit…
Kayla swallowed. She held out her hands, spread them wide. “I know. I know it’s crazy, and you no doubt want to tell me to get lost, but please hear me out—”
His frown nearly undid her. But he didn’t say anything so she continued. But what she said wasn’t the real truth, only part of it.
“Ana n-needs a dad. She needs medical insurance. I lay awake at night worrying about what I’d do if she ever got really sick. How would I afford the medical bills?” His eyes narrowed and she swallowed. Maybe she’d lost him but she tumbled on anyway. “I know this is asking a lot. I know it. But I’m doing all I can, working as hard as I can, and I still can’t keep her safe. I can’t rely on Bailey and Alexei forever. Alexei is great, but Ana isn’t entitled to his insurance. She can’t be his dependent.”
She hated that word, but that’s what the military called family members. Dependents. A dependent was someone very specific who was entitled to all the benefits the military provided. Free insurance, tax-free shopping privileges, bargain groceries, educational opportunities—the list went on. Bailey would be Alexei’s dependent when they married next month, but Kayla could never be. Neither could Ana.
Zach still didn’t say anything. She hadn’t expected him to. Not really.
His expression made it clear what he was thinking. He didn’t move. His body was a wall of hard muscle blocking the exit. Not that she was leaving yet. She couldn’t. Shame made her skin hot but she didn’t drop her gaze from his. She waited, knowing he was about to eviscerate her. Feeling like she deserved it and trying to plan her next move anyway.
“You’re asking me to marry you for my benefits.” Zach crossed his arms over his chest. Frowned down at her. She couldn’t help but notice the way his muscles popped beneath his shirt sleeves. So strong and sexy. Those arms had held her close once, folded her to his chest and made her feel safe and protected. “As touching as this proposal is, I’m going to have to refuse.”
Kayla’s throat tightened. Her belly went into free fall. “I understand.”
He snorted. It was a sound of disgust. “Then why did you ask? What the fuck, Kayla? You’ve barely talked to me in two months, and now you want me to marry you? What the actual fuck?”
Tears threatened. She wouldn’t let them fall, though. She didn’t have time to cry. Kayla tipped her chin up even though she trembled inside. “You’re safe, Zach. Stable. It wouldn’t have to be forever. You could still date other women. Ana and I could live upstairs, and you could do what you’ve always done—”
The fury in his expression stopped her. He closed the distance between them, put his face into hers. She could feel the heat of his anger rippling off him. If she touched him, would it burn?
“Are you fucking kidding me? You want to get married for my benefits and then you want to keep seeing other people?”
She spun away from him, the anger on his face too much for her. The disappointment.
He loves someone else….
She didn’t want him to date other women. That was a lie. But she’d felt like it was something she ought to say. Something to sweeten the deal.
“I didn’t say I wanted to see other people. I just want to provide for Ana and not have to worry if I can afford her next checkup, or an emergency room trip. Military insurance is free. And I’d pay for anything else she needed. I want stability for a change!”
The emotion of the situation got to her. The desperation of all she was feeling. She put her head in her hands. Shook it. Everything had sounded reasonable in her brain, but now it sounded like the worst kind of gold-digging. Except instead of money, she wanted his military benefits. Not much difference, she supposed. No wonder he was pissed.
She’d spent her life without stability. She didn’t want that for her child. She hadn’t realized how precarious her life—and Ana’s by extension—still was until she’d gotten that phone call. She hadn’t done anything that would prompt child protective services to take Ana away, but the suggestion had rattled her. Badly.
“Sorry, Kayla, but no. I’ll give you money if you need it, but I’m not marrying you. And I’m definitely not living like roommates instead of a married couple. Do you have any idea what Camel would do to me if I married you and kept dating other women?”
She shook her head.
Zach continued. “He’s a sniper. A damned good one. And while I don’t think he’d shoot my ass, he might. At best, we’d have to stop working together because he wouldn’t trust me anymore. The team would fall apart and one of us would need to be replaced. Probably me since the rest of them would think I was a douche for cheating on you.”
Kayla’s shoulders slumped. “You’re right. I know you are. I just thought….”
She’d thought of Zach because he was a good guy, and he knew what it was like for a single mother to struggle. He loved his sister and he’d do anything to help her. She’d thought he would understand. She sucked in a breath and bit the inside of her lip as tears clogged her throat. She would not cry. She never cried. She couldn’t afford to show weakness. She’d learned that in the hell of the motorcycle club. A tear escaped and slipped down her cheek anyway and she slapped it away angrily.
Zach made a sound halfway between a groan and a sigh. Then he closed the distance between them and put his hands gently on her shoulders. Rubbed her arms lightly. “I’m sorry, Kayla. Really. But trust me, you don’t want to marry me for my benefits. It’s not a good reason to marry anyone.”
His kindness undid her. That and the stress of everything she’d been feeling. The worry. Before she could stop it, the tears began to flow. He didn’t say anything. Just took her hand and led her over to the couch. Sat her down and picked up the remote to mute the television. A box of tissues appeared. She tore several out and wiped her eyes, angry that she’d let her weakness show.
Weakness got you in trouble and she didn’t need more of that.
When she looked up again, Zach was watching her, his handsome face set in a frown. Seeing through her flimsy excuses for marriage and looking for the truth. His words confirmed it.
“Why don’t you tell me what this is really about, Kayla.”
Chapter Three
Neo was still reeling from having Kayla in his home, but he was reeling even more from what’d just happened. First he’d been shocked. Then pissed.
Now he was puzzled. Kayla sobbed like her heart had been broken, which meant there was more to her showing up here tonight than she’d let on.
There were definitely women who chased military men for the benefits—and the other way around since men were also capable of gold digging—and even more women who were SEAL groupies and would love a chance to snag one.
But he didn’t think Kayla was one of those. If she had been, she’d have been chasing the single SEALs relentlessly until one fell for her. She’d certainly had every opportunity to do so, but she never had. It was just him and Shade who were single left on the team, but she had access to other special operators, not just SEALs. HOT was a joint service organization, which meant Marines, Air Force, and Army too. She was pretty enough to have her pick, but he’d never seen her flirt with any of them the few times they’d all been at Buddy’s Bar & Grill together.
She pulled tissues from the box and wiped her eyes, blew her nose, and finally pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes when the tears didn’t stop. He thought about calling Bailey, but
he didn’t think Kayla would thank him for it. Whatever was bothering her, if she’d wanted her sister involved then it would’ve already happened.
He figured he’d let her cry it out, find out what was bugging her, and do whatever he could to help her overcome it. He hated seeing her cry. Hated seeing any woman cry, really. He’d always had a visceral reaction to a woman crying and now was no different. It made his gut tighten with unpleasant memories.
When he’d been a little boy, before he’d realized that his mother’s drama was manufactured, he’d always gotten anxious when she cried. He’d hovered and patted and doted, and that’s what she’d wanted. Even now, he had a mixed response to tears. Part of him wanted to make them stop and part of him wanted to know what the angle was.
“Kayla,” he said after a few more minutes had gone by, “you gonna tell me what’s going on? Or do you want me to call Bailey and ask her to come get you?”
Fear crossed her features. She grabbed his arm in her cold hand and gripped it. “No, please. Don’t call her.”
Just as he’d suspected. “Okay, but you have to tell me what’s wrong. This isn’t because I said no to your proposal.”
She dropped his arm and shredded the tissue in her hands, her gaze on her lap. She sniffled from time to time. If her tears were fake, she was damned good at it. He didn’t think they were, though. His mother wasn’t a normal human being by any definition and she could whip up Hollywood-level hysteria at a moment’s notice. Most people weren’t that good.
“Kayla. You can trust me.”
“I know,” she whispered. Then she sighed as if she’d come to a decision. “I don’t want Bailey to know yet. She went through hell for me, and her wedding is next month. I don’t want to worry her when she’s so happy. I want to take care of this myself.”
He didn’t like the sound of where she was going. He didn’t know what it was, but he wasn’t getting a good vibe here. Something was frightening her.
“If I can keep it between us, I will.”
Her eyes were wide and wet. “Please, Zach. Please don’t tell.”
“I’ll do my best, Kayla. I swear.”
“On your honor as a SEAL?”
He didn’t hesitate. “On my honor as a SEAL.”
She pulled in a breath. Met his gaze evenly. “The other day, I went to get lunch for everyone at the salon. You know the diner on the corner?”
“Yes.”
“I walked over there, picked up the food, and walked back. A man in a car slowed down and started talking shit to me. Catcalling. That kind of thing.”
His gut twisted with anger on her behalf.
“I know that doesn’t sound like anything. Just some asshole who saw a woman walking alone and wanted to harass her.” Kayla pulled in a breath. “But that wasn’t all. When I didn’t respond, he said I was going to get what was coming to me, and then he squealed his tires and left. Which still might be nothing, I know that. Anyway, I told the girls about it and that was the end of it. But something else happened later, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence.”
The back of his neck started to prickle with warning. He’d learned never to ignore that feeling during countless missions overseas and into enemy strongholds. It was that feeling, that tickle, that kept him alive. He wasn’t the only one who had it. Every operator he knew—the good ones anyway, and HOT only had the good ones—had some version of that warning system.
“Go on.”
“Bailey came to the salon a couple of hours later to pick up Ana. When she left, I got a phone call. I thought she’d forgotten something.”
He waited for Kayla to continue. She shredded the tissue some more. Closed her eyes. He reached out and put a hand on her knee. Her bare skin was warm, soft. He ignored the way touching her made his cock ache and gave her a light squeeze for comfort before pulling his hand away again. She sucked in a breath and lifted her gaze.
“It was a man. He said he knew where I was and what I did.”
The prickling intensified. “There’s more.”
Kayla nodded. “Yes. I asked who he was. I didn’t recognize the voice. He said I’d find out—and then he mentioned my shoes, the ones I was wearing that day, and how hard it must be to run in them. He also talked about what Bailey looked like. I asked him what he wanted—and he said he wanted what I owed the club. He said I was going to pay.”
Anger flared, scouring his insides with acid. Some fucking lowlife asshole from the motorcycle club had stalked her and scared her. He clearly wanted something from her. But what?
She swallowed. “I told him I didn’t have anything of value. And he said… He said I had Ana.”
Neo saw red. No way would he let that happen. No fucking way.
“I told him I’d call the police and he said….” She closed her eyes. “That I shouldn’t do that because I was an unfit mother and she might end up in state custody.”
Neo growled. “There’s no way he can make good on that threat, Kayla. It’s not a matter of making an accusation and they take your child away. There’s more to it than that. He wanted to scare you. Fucker.”
She looked pale. “I know.”
“And you don’t think you should tell Bailey about any of this?”
She shook her head. “No, not yet. Bailey already went through so much because of me. And it might be nothing other than some asshole from what’s left of the Kings who wants to harass me. It might even be James making it happen from prison for no other reason than to scare me.”
“If you believed that, you wouldn’t be here.”
Her gaze dropped again. “No, that’s true. But if I tell Bailey, then what? What can she do? It was one phone call, and that was a couple of days ago. I blocked the number, but he could call again from a different phone. He hasn’t so far. I haven’t seen anyone watching me either. I make sure to check my surroundings thoroughly, and I don’t go anywhere alone. It’s work or home, and that’s it. I only go other places when someone is with me, like today. But if I tell Bailey, then she’ll do something drastic, like quit school or postpone the wedding until the danger is past. She’d upend her life to protect mine, like she always does, and I don’t want that. Alexei would have to spend his time watching out for me and Ana instead of planning his future with Bailey. I’d like to prevent that, if possible.”
Neo didn’t like any of this shit. Someone was threatening her. But there was still a lot to unpack here.
“How will us getting married fix anything?”
Her pretty hazel eyes skimmed over his face. “You’re a SEAL. If we were married, whoever is out there would think twice about coming after me because it would mean trouble with the military. And I wouldn’t be parenting alone anymore. I’d be married and Ana would have a dad. I could put her into daycare on the base since she’d be entitled to it then. She’d be safer there than at the salon every day. When she isn’t in daycare, she’ll be with me and you together. She’d be safe all the time, and I wouldn’t be as scared that something might happen to her. I also don’t think child protective services would be as likely to take her. If they did, the military would help us.”
Now he understood. She wanted to protect her baby. She was terrified that whoever’d threatened her could make good on the threat to have Ana taken away. He didn’t believe it was likely, but he didn’t need to. She did.
He also understood why she’d want Ana in base daycare. The base was a fortress guarded by military dogs and armed military police with automatic rifles. No one who wasn’t supposed to be there was getting in. Camel couldn’t get Ana into daycare before because she wasn’t his, and he wasn’t marrying her mother.
Which, if Bailey got involved, he might. Temporarily, and so Kayla and Ana could have his military benefits until such time as it was safe for them to divorce so he could marry Bailey instead. It wasn’t all that far-fetched either, because Camel would do anything for Bailey. If she asked him to protect her sister, he would. Even if he had to marry her to do it.
Shit, what a mess. It made perfect sense why Kayla had come to him. She knew what her sister was like. What she would sacrifice.
“You know that I’ll have to deploy, right? My job isn’t nine-to-five, five days a week. I can be gone for weeks at a time. I can’t guarantee I’d be here with you all the time.”
She twisted the remains of a tissue. “I know. But I’d still feel safer because Ana would be on the base during the day, and we could stay with Bailey when the team deploys.”
Neo rubbed his forehead. The whole thing stunk, but he understood why she didn’t want Bailey to know. She was happy, planning a wedding, moving on with her life. Still, Camel was his teammate and Neo wasn’t going to be able to keep this from his brother-in-arms. Not for long anyway.
Kayla reached out and cupped his face in both hands. It shocked him enough that he stilled, waiting for whatever she wanted to say. Her hands were cool, but his skin still sizzled where she touched. His cock twitched to life at that reminder of what it had been like between them.
He’d owned her hot little body once, and he’d wanted so much more. He’d wanted to drown in her. He still wanted it.
“You want to tell Alexei. I know you do. I get it—but Zach, if we’re married, then Bailey won’t worry as much about me once she finds out about the threats. She’ll know you won’t let anything happen to me because she knows how safe she is with Alexei. She won’t quit school and she won’t postpone her wedding.”
“Or suggest that Camel marry you instead.”
She made a soft noise and then nodded. “Right. She’s capable of that. Just for a while, just to protect me. But what would that do to her happiness to watch the man she loves marry me so I can have his military benefits? I won’t do that to either one of them. I’d run away first.”
She sounded so fierce that he believed her. He turned his head, pressed his lips to her palm. She didn’t snatch her hand away. She might have whimpered. He didn’t know why he did it, except he wanted to taste her again. He wanted to taste a lot more than her palm, but that would do for the moment.
HOT SEAL Devotion Page 3
