“I’m glad you’re there. I love Avery and JoJo a lot. But you and me—well, we’ve made some bad choices in men and we’ve managed to survive. Not the usual bad choice like a guy who cheats or freeloads, but a really bad choice. The kind that could kill you. You don’t ever forget what that’s like. But when you find the guy who’ll slay those demons for you, you gotta surrender your heart and know he’ll take care of it.”
“It’s not easy though, is it?” Kayla asked.
Chloe smiled wistfully. “No, it’s not. But it’ll happen. I know it will because it did for me.”
“I’m so happy it did. You and Ryan are perfect together.”
“Maybe you and Zach are too. I hope so.”
“Honestly, I hope you’re right. Time will tell.”
When Neo got home from work, it was quiet in the house. Too quiet. He’d liked having Kayla and Ana there. He knew he hadn’t really experienced any full-tilt baby fits, but having Ana in the house had seemed right somehow. She was cuter than heck, and her little laugh was infectious. Hell, the way she screamed “Za!” in response to the word pizza cracked him up—and made him feel fiercely protective of her.
Just like he felt fiercely protective of Kayla. He’d been attracted to her from the beginning, and he’d lusted after her plenty. But he hadn’t really known her. Still didn’t, but she was opening up more than she had in the past and it really showed him who she was inside.
Kayla was a lost little girl in some ways. He knew some of her childhood because he’d heard it from her and from Camel when he talked about Bailey. Bailey was four years older and she’d done a lot to shield Kayla when they were children, but they’d still suffered from having drug addicted parents who cared about their next fix more than they cared about their children.
They’d moved around a lot. When Bailey was sixteen, she’d had to take care of her and Kayla both because her parents were either dead or useless by then. Neo couldn’t imagine the strain on Bailey, or the fear it caused both her and Kayla.
Add in a psychotic boyfriend who got Kayla pregnant and kept her prisoner with lies, then his threats to Ana, and what’d happened when he went looking for Kayla but got Bailey instead, and it was no wonder Kayla didn’t trust people.
Neo wanted to make her feel safe. He wanted it now more than ever. He wanted Kayla to smile, and he wanted her to take care of Ana without the fear in her eyes that he saw there sometimes.
And yeah, he wanted her. But that would wait until the time was right.
He went upstairs right away instead of going to his room, and he walked through the kitchen and living room, then into the master, looking for signs that Kayla and Ana had been there. Other than a wet towel on the rack in the bathroom, everything looked like it had before she’d arrived. Kayla had made the bed, tidied up the kitchen—including the coffee pot—and removed all traces that she and Ana had ever been there.
Neo stood in the middle of the master bedroom, staring at the bed and the spot where he’d set up Ana’s crib, and felt strangely empty inside. He walked across the hall to the other upstairs bedroom. It was small, but it would be a perfect room for Ana. It had a twin bed, a night table, and a dresser, but he imagined a white crib, sunny colors, and a rocking chair by the window. He could see it all, almost as if Kayla’s decorating shows had taken root in his brain.
For half a second, he considered going for paint and surprising Kayla with a room makeover, but then he realized she wouldn’t like that. Oh, she wouldn’t say she didn’t, but she watched all those shows and she surely had ideas of her own. He thought pink walls would be cute for a little girl, but it was entirely possible that Kayla would hate it.
He took out his phone and sent a text. I want to take you somewhere tonight. Could you get Bailey to watch Ana?
Her reply came back quickly.
Kayla: I can ask. What time?
He looked at his watch. 6:30?
Kayla: I’ll let you know in a few minutes. Do I have to dress up?
Neo: No. Wear something you don’t mind getting dirty.
Kayla: ??
Neo: Trust me.
Kayla: Okay.
He stared at that one word for a long moment. She’d responded without hesitation. It made him happy that she had. She might not know it yet, but she could trust him with more than her safety.
She could trust him with her heart.
Chapter Eleven
Kayla threw on a pair of torn jeans, a clingy tank top, and a pair of flip flops. She pinned her hair up in a messy topknot and waited for Zach to arrive. Bailey had given her clothes a disbelieving once over when she’d dropped Ana off.
“Where is he taking you? A barn?”
Kayla laughed. “I don’t know. He said to wear something I didn’t mind getting dirty.”
Bailey held Ana and shrugged. “Okay. Well, have fun. We’ll be here staying clean, won’t we Ana-banana-boo?”
When Zach arrived, Kayla didn’t wait for him to open the car door before she jumped inside. He frowned at her.
“I was coming around to open the door.”
“I know. It didn’t make sense to let you do it though. Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise. And you have to kiss me.”
Kayla’s heart thumped. Was she the one he’d been hung up on? She didn’t know if Chloe was right, but she sure liked the idea. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. He caught her before she could pull away and dipped his tongue into her mouth. Kayla shuddered with pleasure at the stroke of his tongue against hers. Too soon, he was straightening and giving her an appraising look.
“Have you eaten yet?”
“I had an energy bar.”
“How about a hamburger? I could use a burger.”
Kayla laughed. “You’re a junk food junkie, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, but only good junk food. Like I prefer the Mom & Pop burger joint to the fast food chain. Didn’t you notice the pizza wasn’t from a chain last night?”
“I did. It was really good, too.”
“Damn right it was. Okay, so how about dinner and then I take you for the surprise?”
“Do I get a hint? Are we going mud wrestling or something?”
He waggled his eyebrows as he backed the car out of the drive. “That sounds fun, honey, but we’ll have to save that for next time.”
“So no hint?”
“No hint. You’re too smart.”
She didn’t feel smart, but she glowed with the compliment anyway. Zach took her to a local diner where they ordered hamburgers and french fries, and they sat at a corner table and talked about the things they’d done that day. Kayla had shampooed a variety of clients, washed and dried towels and smocks, swept the salon, and had her nails done when JoJo wanted to practice her skills with gel nails after she was done with hair for the day. Zach listened as if it was the most interesting stuff he’d ever heard, but then Kayla stuttered to a halt after she realized she’d been talking for fifteen minutes straight and he hadn’t gotten a word in.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ve been hogging the conversation.”
He grinned. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say so many words all at once, beautiful. But I like it.”
Her ears grew hot. “You’re just saying that.”
“No, I’m really not. I like listening to you tell me about your day.”
Kayla dragged a french fry through ketchup. “Well, I’ve got nothing left now. Tell me about yours.”
“Hmm, I shot a thousand rounds of ammo today—”
“A thousand rounds?” she exclaimed. “Did that take all day?”
He laughed. “Not at all. Trust me, babe, a thousand rounds goes fast. It was range practice followed by a live fire exercise where we had to rescue some hostages and take back a naval ship from pirates.”
Kayla could feel her jaw dropping. “You let me talk for fifteen minutes about shampooing hair and sweeping floors like it was the most exciting thing in the wo
rld, and you did that?”
“Baby, it’s your day. I’m interested in it. And yeah, it sounds normal and sane. I like it. What I do isn’t sane.”
She thought about that show they’d watched together. Jack Ryan. It was Hollywood and over the top, but people really did that kind of stuff. Zach did that kind of stuff. Maybe not in exactly that way, but he was a real life badass hero who did things for the right reasons, not a criminal who thought he was tough because he rode a Harley, trafficked women, sold drugs, and carried a gun while he did all of it.
God she’d been naïve when she’d fallen for the bad boy who paid attention to her instead of staying strong and realizing she was being manipulated. She would never let that happen again. Not with anyone.
“Maybe not,” she told him. “But it’s necessary. Thank you for doing it. The world is a better place because of you and Alexei. All of you.”
“The world is a better place when people cooperate and help each other out. We’re there to balance out those who would use their power over others to do harm. Terrorists, rogue states, drug cartels, dictators—those people don’t care about anyone but themselves. We put a stop to it when we can.”
“I think it’s wonderful, Zach. I really do. There will always be people who do bad things. They don’t need to get away with it.”
“Unfortunately, some people always get away with shit. But those who can be stopped need to be stopped. That’s my mission.” He tossed down his napkin and gave her a look. “You finished? Because we’ve got a lot to do tonight.”
She pushed away the last of the fries. “Yep, I’m done. I could keep shoveling in fries but truthfully I’m stuffed already.”
“Then let’s go.”
He stood and took her hand to help her up, then led her to the register and paid the bill. She tried to offer him money, but he refused. They walked out to his car hand in hand. He opened her door for her and she got in while he waited. She smiled up at him as he closed the door, her pulse thumping because he’d been touching her. How did he do that? How did he make her temperature rise just by holding her hand?
He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. When he turned into Home Depot, she scrunched up her face in puzzlement. Zach laughed at her expression. “Trust me,” he said.
She did. So much. They went inside the store and Zach led her to the paint aisle. He held out his hands with a flourish. “Ta da!”
Kayla looked at the paint chips, then at him. “I don’t get it.”
He reached for a strip that had six different colors of pink on it. “I was thinking one of these would work for Ana’s room. It’s the one across the hall from the master. Did you look at the room?”
Kayla’s throat tightened. Her heart skipped a beat. “You brought me to Home Depot to pick out paint for a baby room?”
“Yeah.” He frowned. “Is that okay? You seem a little upset.”
Kayla swallowed. She could barely find the words. “I’m not upset, Zach. I’m… I’m…” She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Strong arms went around her body and pulled her against a solid form. She clutched his shirt and breathed deeply through her nose, trying not to cry. She hated crying. It was weak to cry and she never did it if she could help it.
And yet she couldn’t stop the trickle of tears that leaked down her cheeks.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Zach said, his breath hot against her ear as he held her tightly. “I’m sorry. I should have told you what I was thinking. I don’t want to make you cry, Kayla.”
“It’s just so… nice!” She sniffled. “I love that you thought about Ana. It means so much to me.”
“I almost screwed it all up,” he told her, still holding her tight. “I thought about painting the room as a surprise but then I realized I might pick Pepto Bismol pink or something and you’d hate it.”
Kayla laughed a watery laugh. “It’s so sweet of you. Really.” She sucked in her tears and pushed back so she could look up into his face. “You’re such a great guy and I couldn’t be happier that you thought I’d want to help. Even if you’d painted the room Pepto pink, I’d have been happy that you thought of doing it for her.”
“Anything for you and Ana. I mean that.”
She pulled in a breath. “I know you do.”
“So you think we can pick out some paint or what? I thought maybe you’d want a white crib, too. Does she have a wooden crib?”
Kayla’s heart hurt, but in a good way. “No, she doesn’t. I use the Pack’n Play. It’s a crib and a playpen, and it’s what I could afford.”
She didn’t tell him that Bailey and Alexei had wanted to buy Ana a crib but she hadn’t accepted. She’d told them the portable crib was fine, and maybe by the time Ana was ready, she could afford a bed for her. Maybe she should have accepted the crib, but it was a few months ago and she’d felt so guilty for taking their help already.
“Maybe we could get one of those cribs that can be converted into a toddler bed when it’s time. What do you think?”
“I think that would be great. But I can’t let you buy it.”
“Why not? If we’re getting married, then Ana is my responsibility too. Besides, they don’t cost that much. My sister buys shit online all the time and she’s gotten all her cribs there. They convert to toddler beds, and then to kid beds. I know she doesn’t spend a lot of money on them because she doesn’t have it.”
Kayla couldn’t breathe. It hit her, standing in the aisle of the freaking Home Depot of all places, that she loved this man. There was no other word for it. She loved him. He was honorable and decent and even though they’d barely been speaking just a few days ago, he’d stepped up to help her when she’d asked him to. And he was thinking of her baby like Ana was his own. Thinking about a pink room and a sweet little crib that converted to a bed.
He really cared. At least about Ana, that was clear. And he cared about her, though she couldn’t say he loved her or anything. But he cared enough to agree to marry her and protect her. It was more than she’d thought possible just a few days ago.
“We’ll look online then. Maybe there’s something,” she said, suddenly shy with all she was feeling.
“I’ll ask Lesley where she gets her stuff. It’s got the word fair in it or something.”
Kayla laughed. “Wayfair?”
“Sounds about right. So which color, Kayla? It doesn’t have to be pink. It can be whatever you want.”
Kayla fingered the paint chips, looking at all the pink colors available. “Wait—what about your landlord? Won’t he mind?”
“Not so long as we paint it back again when we move out.”
“It’s a lot of work if we’re moving out, don’t you think?” She desperately wanted to do it, but it didn’t make a ton of sense if they were going to apply for base housing.
“It can take time to get base housing. Months. Pick whatever you want and we’ll make her room beautiful for her. If we move on base, we’ll paint it back. But we’ll still have the furniture, and that’ll fit wherever we go.”
Kayla’s heart beat with wild joy. She had a moment where she thought she needed to Google colors for baby rooms, but then she’d been looking at Pinterest for months and she knew what she wanted to do. “Would you mind if we chose a cream instead? And then a pale pink for the accent wall?”
“Honey, pick what you want. If you want black paint and green trim, I’ll do it.”
Kayla couldn’t help but giggle. “Ewww, no way.” She slid her hand over to the whites and went through them until she found the shade of cream she liked. Then she went back to the pink chips and found a pink color that was a little darker and more velvety. “These two. With white trim.”
“You up for starting tonight?”
Happiness blossomed inside her like a flower opening for the first time. It was such a small thing in a way, and such a huge thing in all the ways that mattered. Zach wanted to paint Ana’s bedroom and make it perfect for her. And he wanted to start tonight.
Love, fierce and bright and strong, was a living thing in her heart. She loved Ana more than anything else in this world. She loved her sister. And she loved this man. It both terrified her and thrilled her.
“Yes,” she said. “I’d love to start tonight.”
It took about two hours to move the furniture and then tape and paint the first coat on the walls, but when it was done, Kayla beamed. “It’s going to be perfect for a little girl. Just perfect. I can already see it done and decorated in my mind.”
Neo leaned against the door jamb and watched Kayla turn around in the room. She was happy, and that made him happy. She smiled like her heart wasn’t heavy with fear, and he wanted to make her smile like that all the time.
He also wanted to strip off her faded jeans and tank top and lick her all over. His dick thought that sounded like a plan and started to grow in his pants. He cleared his mind of those images and focused on the idea of Ana sleeping in this room every night instead. His body responded by returning to normal.
He knew it wasn’t going to last long with Kayla around. She was sexy as fuck and he wanted her. Badly. But he wasn’t going to push her because she’d probably give in out of gratitude for what they’d done tonight.
He didn’t want her gratitude. He wanted her desire. He’d had it once and he knew it was a beautiful thing to behold. Even if she’d run away the next morning and made him crazy for two whole months wondering what the fuck had gone wrong.
“Shouldn’t take us long to finish painting tomorrow night,” he told her.
“I can’t wait.”
“Baby, tomorrow’s Wednesday. We should have the license. Then we can make the appointment to get married. Everything I’ve read about the wait says it’ll be Friday. When do you plan to tell Bailey we’re getting married?”
She sighed, her expression falling a little. “Friday morning?” She laughed and shook her head. “That won’t work, will it?”
“I don’t think so.”
Kayla’s shoulders slumped. “She’s going to ask what the rush is.”
HOT SEAL Devotion Page 11
