by SE Reynolds
"When you say it out loud, Josh, it makes it real."
"It is real. It's so real that I really don't want to wait much longer, Stacie. I know you want the big wedding, but I just want you to be Mrs. Joshua Steadman as soon as possible".
Josh is right. I've always wanted that big wedding with a big white dress. But I'm not twenty-eight, I'm thirty-eight, and I still haven't gotten down to the weight I want to be. I want to be a beautiful bride for Josh, but he insists I'm perfect the way I am. He sees things in me I don't see, and he has made me so happy over the last two months. It's been a whirlwind, an extremely intoxicating whirlwind. I put my hand in my pocket and find the ring Josh gave me last weekend. I didn't want JJ to see it, but I want to keep it close to me.
We decided to take a day trip to Blue Mountain Winery in the Shenandoah Valley. It was the first weekend in September. Virginia seems to go from hot summer to crisp fall in a matter of days. There was no humidity in the air, and the grass was still very green in the valley, thanks to an unusually wet August. The view of the Blue Ridge Mountains was so clear that day. The winery was beautiful, with rows and rows of vines. The tasting room was in a renovated barn. I talked Joshua into doing a wine tasting with me. We started with the whites and then evolved into the reds. The sommelier described the taste of each of the wines before pouring a small amount into our glasses. This has a nice finish of pineapple; this has a finish of chocolate and pencil shavings…. Josh and I pretended that we could taste what she so eloquently described.
"Oh yes, it reminds me of the second grade, sharpening the number two's and eating paste," Josh said with a serious tone as he swirled his glass.
I tried not to giggle too hard. I didn't want to offend her. I thought the wines were delightful, but Josh struggled through it. When the sommelier wasn't looking, Josh would either drink the wine like it was a shot of tequila or spit it out in the tomb that sat on the counter.
"You are supposed to pour it out, not spit it out, Josh."
I was sure we would get kicked out before the end of the wine tasting. Afterward, he let me pick out a bottle for us to share. I noticed Josh seemed to be less repulsed by the Cabernet Franc. According to the sommelier, it's one of the grapes that grows well in Virginia. We found a nice table outside next to a haunting weeping willow tree. I sipped my wine slowly, taking in deep breaths of the clean country air. The Shenandoah mountains were a perfect backdrop. I didn't think the day could get any better, but before I knew it, Josh was kneeling in front of me on one knee.
"Stacie Shewster, you are one of a kind. In just a short time, you have found a way into my heart, and you have given me a home in yours. I don't ever want to lose you. If you can find it in your heart and take pity on this old man, I would love it if you would be my wife and the first lady of Fairview. Will you marry me, Ms. Shewster?"
I giggled, then snorted, then cried.
"Is that a yes or a no? Come on, Stace, you're killing me."
"It's a yes, a one-million percent yes! I love you, Josh!"
I pull the ring out of my pocket and stare at the little diamond laid in white gold. After he proposed, he said for our one-year anniversary; he would upgrade it to a full carat. I think it's beautiful no matter what size.
"Let's elope, Stacie."
"Elope? What about my family, what about yours?"
"My family is you and JJ, and that's it. Why wait, Stacie? Life is too short. Believe me, I know. I don't want to waste another day without you as my wife."
"I feel the same, Josh, but what about JJ? Is he ready for all of this? It's so fast."
"JJ is a resilient kid. All he cares about is running and girls; I found some porn on his phone, by the way, oh, and video games."
Josh gets up from the kitchen table and clears the dishes. I don't know what to say. Part of me wants the big wedding; the other doesn't want to lose this man. I stay quiet, hoping a decision will be made for me.
"Oh, I see. You aren't ready, Stacie. You have questions. Yeah, I guess marrying an older guy with a special needs kid is too much."
Josh is leaning up against the sink with his arms folded, staring down at me. He's upset. I don't like seeing him like this. I'm just being selfish.
"I will elope with you, Joshua Steadman, any day of the week, any hour of the day. I love you, and I know I will love JJ as if he were my own. He's a part of you."
"Do you mean that, Stacie?"
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it, Josh."
Josh picks me up off the chair and hugs me.
"Why don't we have a small ceremony, just you, me, JJ, and your sister or mother, whoever you want as your witness. I promise we will have that big party later. We will celebrate in style."
Josh leaves the kitchen. I hear him yelling.
"JJ, come upstairs buddy, I got some good news."
I think I have lived more in the past three months than I ever have in all of my 38 years. I can either jump off this rollercoaster or stay on for the ride. I knew my answer. It was stupid for me to even question this. There is no way I am letting this man get away from me. I've dreamt about this kind of love, this kind of passion, all my life. I know my destiny; it’s to spend the rest of my days loving Joshua Steadman.
Chapter 41 – Joshua
Two Weeks Later
Stacie and I decide it's best to live in her house than stay on Farmer Court. My house needs too many repairs. Melissa's trust fund is dwindling fast, and I need to put something away for JJ's college education. Mimi said she would help, but now that I have a new wife, she may not be as inclined. Besides, I need a change of scenery. The house is no longer a home to me. It exudes death and sickness; it's time for a fresh start. I told Mimi nothing has changed, and she will always play a role in our lives. I promised that Stacie and I would have her over as soon as we get settled in. I need JJ to get used to Stacie being the female role model. Mimi is a distraction, keeping him from bonding with Stacie. Besides, my new mother-in-law has been lurking around since we moved in. She's always watching me, probably making sure I don't steal anything.
"Your mom doesn't like me, Stacie," I say while putting some of my clothes away in her spare closet.
"No, Josh, that's not true. She is just hurt that I asked my sister to be my witness at the wedding and not her, and I think she wanted me to have a proper wedding."
"Well, I hope she gives you that bride bear anyway."
"Yeah, I still need the bride bear and someday soon, the momma bear."
Stacie hands me some coat hangers as I continue to fill up her spare closet.
"My mom is so funny. She asked me if I made you sign a prenup."
"A prenup? What did you tell her?"
"I told her it was none of her business."
I’m realizing that Mrs. Shewster is my new arch-nemesis. I can see it now. She'll be lurking around the house, filling Stacie's ears with unproductive suggestions or observations that will inevitably lead to little disagreements between Stacie and me. I'm sure Stacie has thought about it; she's a divorce lawyer. But what Mrs. Shewster doesn't realize is Stacie would never ask me to do such a thing for fear that I would walk away.
"I would have signed it, Stacie. I'm just an underpaid mayor of one of the smallest towns in Northern Virginia. I'm a blip on the map. Your mom is trying to protect you from gold diggers like me."
"You're not a gold digger, Josh; you are an amazing mayor. As you said, this is only the beginning for us. We will be on the map soon enough."
"Your mom makes me call her Mrs. Shewster, Stacie. I'm a second-class citizen to her; I'm the hired help."
"I have every confidence in the world that she will grow to love you as much if not more than me. Maybe tonight, Josh, you can show me how awesome the hired help is," Stacie says as she rubs my shoulder.
"I should check on JJ. See how he's doing with all the unpacking."
I leave Stacie in our very yellow bedroom and walk to the other end of the hallway to JJ's room.
&n
bsp; "What do you think of your new digs, JJ?"
"It's really big! Look, Dad! I can jump up and down on the bed and not hit my head on the ceiling," JJ says as he leaps off the bed.
"Look, Dad, look, I have a bathroom all to myself."
"That's pretty cool, JJ, but you got to keep it clean, buddy."
"Doesn't Stacie have a maid? She's rich and all; she probably has a maid, Dad."
"Son quit talking about her money. It's rude, okay? Besides, it's your responsibility to keep it clean."
"Okay, Dad, geez. Hey, did you know that Cooper from the Track team lives on this street? I think."
"No, that's great; you can go running with him, son."
"Yeah, that would be cool."
"I like Stacie; she is nice to me, Dad."
"Yes, she is very nice to both of us."
Stacie decides to make us a home-cooked dinner for our first night in the house. She made lasagna, but it turned out a little runny. She's been sipping on wine throughout the dinner prep and during dinner, and she's giggling more than usual. As I try to scrape clean the dried sauce from the lasagna pan, I am beginning to agree with JJ. A maid would be nice, maybe a live-in maid that can scrape off the dried fucking sauce off the lasagna pan. I'll mention it to Stacie once we are more settled in. I'm about to lose the battle with the fucking lasagna pan when I feel Stacie's arms around my waist.
"JJ is in his room with headphones on. Let's go to our bedroom for a little quiet time, Josh."
"I need to finish up this mess you made, Young Lady."
"The mess can wait, Josh. I can't."
Stacie's speech is slurring. Suddenly the lasagna pan is my new best friend, and I so desperately want it cleaned.
"I don't know about you, Stacie, but I hate waking up to a messy kitchen."
"We are not going to sleep, Josh."
Stacie takes my hands and dries them with the dishtowel, and then leads me up the stairs to the bedroom.
Stacie grabs my neck and pushes me down on the bed. She kisses me almost violently, slamming her tongue into my mouth. I have no choice but to concede. She climbs on top of me and straddles me with her thighs. It's like a demon has taken over her. She violently tugs at my belt, unbuttons my pants, and rips open the zipper. She reaches in and yanks out my cock. I put my hand on her wrist.
"You don't have to do this."
"Josh, I want to. I want you in my mouth."
"Really, Stacie, let me be inside you."
"Hush, Josh," she says as she lowers herself towards my crotch.
Stacie puts her mouth over my cock. I hear slurping. I feel her drool running down to my balls and teeth scraping against me. I close my eyes and imagine I'm touching soft black fur and wet pink velvet between white silky legs.
Chapter 42 – Stacie
I wish every night could be like last night. Making dinner for my family, sipping wine, maybe a little too much, and making love to my handsome husband. I didn't think we could get any closer until last night. I never gave a man pleasure like that before. It took a long time, and I almost gave up, but he came in my mouth, and I swallowed it. It was salty and bitter, but I kept thinking it's a part of Josh, and I love every inch of him. It made it easier for me to get it all down without gagging. My sister said men like it when you swallow and not spit it out. I want Josh to know I love him, even his salty bitter cum.
I won't press the issue, but soon I want to start trying. I want a baby so badly. The thought of raising a child that is part of us together is beyond joyous. If I think about it too much, I will burst with excitement. Thinking about my mom doting on my children as she does with my sister's kids is icing on my big fat gooey cake.
Once we get the house in order, I want to have a wedding reception. I want others to see how happy we are, and I want us to be the center of attention, the couple everyone longs to be. I never thought I would have a civil ceremony in front of the justice of the peace. I'm not overly religious, but I still have fantasies of what my wedding would be like. I'd have a fairy princess dress. It would be white, of course, with a sweetheart neckline and lacy illusion sleeves. The full chiffon skirt would be laced with sequins. I'd have a tiara with a long white veil. My bouquet would be full of yellow roses with tons of baby's breath. No one would recognize me, just like Cinderella at the ball; I would be a magical vision. God, I want it so badly still. Maybe I can talk Josh into having a real wedding. We could do it in the backyard before the weather gets too cold. I could get a big canopy just in case the weather doesn't hold up. We could invite a small crowd of fifty or so. I would hire a butler to serve hors d'oeuvres and champagne. There would be a violinist playing classical music in the background. Or, better yet, there would a violinist playing nineties boy band music but in a classical way.
I need to get Josh and JJ settled into the house first, and then I will approach Josh about a wedding. Once that is in the books, we can focus on growing this family. I didn't tell Josh, but I decided to take today off from work so I can get things in order. Josh still has a lot of boxes that need unpacking. I thought I would surprise him by converting my study into his own personal office. He needs a room of his own, where he can think, strategize, and make key decisions. He has several boxes labeled Office Stuff. Once I unpack those, I can get him anything that is missing. Maybe he needs a nice pen to sign important documents or a new laptop that has heightened security software. Whatever he needs, I will get it for him. I just want to help him, and by doing so, it will help me.
Being a lawyer, I made sure I have a comfortable setup so I can burn the midnight oil, but my caseload has always been manageable with very open-and-shut cases. Nonetheless, I created a very studious-looking study. I filled it with an ornate mahogany desk and a nice wing-back leather chair. I added a matching leather couch in case I need a break from sitting too long at my fancy mahogany desk. I even had bookshelves built into the back wall. I was going to fill them up with law books and some inspirational books from famous people; but instead, it's half-full of Romance novels. Some are from my teenage years. I never had the heart to throw them out. I decided to save them for my daughter when she turns fifteen. My favorite is the Summer of the Sky, Blue Bikini. Abby is fifteen, and Guy is twenty. He is so out of her league, but she eventually gets him. It's not too sappy for a teenage love story. Although, by today's standard, Guy would be a pedophile. I won't give my daughter that book.
I move all Josh's boxes labeled Office Stuff to the study. I open the first box. It's full of manila folders. Each one is labeled: 2015 Taxes, 2016 Taxes, and so on. I decide to peek into the 2017 taxes. I don't know how much Josh gets paid, but by the way he talks, it isn't much. He's right as I analyze his 2017 W2. How did Josh make ends meet on this salary? I close the folder. I'm sure he wouldn't want me to snoop into his old taxes. I put the folders back in the box and tape it back up. Setting it aside, I find another box labeled Awards. Josh will get a kick out of seeing his accomplishments displayed around his office. They will be a motivator, reminding him of what he is capable of. The box is full of framed awards and certificates. On top is an award Josh earned in college: 1991 ROTC Outstanding Cadet. What a cutie he must have been in his uniform, so young, so innocent. I reach for the second picture frame. Staring back at me is Melissa sitting Indian-style in a grassy area with baby JJ on her lap. It's a news article with the headline 2006 Fairview's Mother of the Year, Melissa Steadman. As I pick up the frame, the cardboard back falls off, and the article floats to the ground. The shock of seeing Melissa's beautiful face holding her beautiful child stirs something inside me, jealousy maybe, resentment? This is a bad idea. I feel like I'm invading Josh's privacy. I scramble to put everything back together, but as I do, I notice an envelope taped to the cardboard back and it's addressed "To My Sweet Melissa." The envelope has been opened and taped shut. A good wife would respect her husband's privacy and put everything back in its place. But I am new at this, so I'm allowed to make a mistake or two. I carefully peel back the tape and
gently pull the folded piece of pink stationary paper from the envelope.
December 30, 2017
My Beautiful Girl Melissa,
This is the hardest letter I have ever had to write, but it is overdue. I can't let things go any longer without telling you I have known about the secret between you and your father for many years. I knew you were his special girl, his princess. From the day you were born, you were the light of his life. I used to be the light of his life. But over time, as you grew, the light he had for me dimmed, and the light he had for you became brighter and brighter. You were such a beautiful little girl. Very petite, very angelic, very innocent. You looked the prettiest when I dressed you in pink. You should have been on the cover of some parenting magazine with your blonde curls and little plump cheeks smiling at the camera. You loved your dad just as much as he loved you. You would often climb up on his lap, waving a book in your hand, begging him to read it to you. He would stop whatever he was doing and do as you asked. He would whisper in your ear, and you would laugh. I would ask what was so funny and he would say, "never mind, Mommy, it is between Mel and me."
I felt like a third wheel, and over time, I became more of a fixture in the house, tending to his needs and yours, but never in on the jokes or the games you two would play. I am ashamed to admit that I resented it. I resented not just him but you. There were times I fantasized about what it would be like if you went away for a while, maybe at camp or maybe at boarding school or maybe just gone. I could have my husband back all to myself. He would whisper in my ear again like he used to do before you were born. I even suggested to your dad we put you in boarding school when you were seven because you seemed so shy and clingy. I told him it would help you become more independent. He immediately shut my suggestion down and told me to never speak of it again. I never did. I always obeyed your father. He was the head of the household and a great provider, but all I wanted from him was his love and attention.
