by SE Reynolds
"Can I get you something?" I ask.
"Do you have a beer?"
"I think so."
The beer I have is left over from our last night together. I never thought he’d be back for another one. I thought they would just sit in the back of the fridge getting stale until I was ready to pour them down the drain. So much has changed since the last time I opened a beer for Joshua. He is sitting at the end of the couch when I return. I sit next to him, hand him his beer, and stay still, waiting for him to speak.
"I think I made a mistake," he says as he takes a long sip of his beer.
"You mean coming here?" I ask.
"No, I mean, I've made a mistake with Stacie."
"I don't understand?"
He takes another long sip of his beer, sets it back down on the coffee table, and turns to me.
"When I was a kid, I had a best friend. Her name was, I mean, is Jessie. She's not dead, or at least I don't think she is. Anyway, we were inseparable. We'd spend most of our days running around Chester, getting dirty, climbing trees, making forts in the woods. Just kid stuff. Jessie always had my back. She protected me, always made me feel safe."
"She sounds like a great friend."
"I never told you this, Virginia, but my childhood sucked, and when I say suck, I mean it was shit. My dad was a drunk, a mean drunk. He made my mom and me feel like we deserved what he gave us. My mom believed it, but I didn't. I never told anyone, not even Jessie. I didn't need to. She saw my bruises, the welts on my forehead, the dread in my eyes when it was time to go home. She never asked me about it; she just tried to distract me, tried to make excuses for me to hide in her room and sleep under her bed. She'd say, 'Joshy, let's pretend like we are in the Army in bunk beds. I take the top bunk, and you take the bottom bunk under my bed.' She called me Joshy. She was something."
My eyes water. I've never seen him like this. I thought he confided in me before, but this is different. This is raw.
"What happened to Jessie?"
"Great question; I was a jerk to her. One day, I decided I'd rather be Mary Ellen's boyfriend instead of Jessie's best friend. I hurt her. I never said I was sorry. I just moved on, and so did she, I suppose."
It was making sense to me now.
"Does Stacie remind you of Jessie?"
"Yeah, yeah, she does. I thought if I could make Stacie feel like she was special, like she mattered, then maybe I could…."
"You could make amends for what you did to Jessie."
Joshua nods and puts his hands to his face. I take his empty bottle to the kitchen and pull another beer out of the fridge. I sit it on the coffee table and sit down close to Joshua, so our knees touch.
"I care a lot about Stacie. She's my best friend. I thought marrying her would make me feel safe again. I would give her a new life; she would give me a sense of security, but I'm struggling. I don't love her in the way I should love my wife. So, I try to focus on other things like work and being the next up-and-coming power couple. But Stacie isn't that powerful lawyer I thought she was. She's like a teenage girl pretending to be a lawyer. All of her yellow and pink surrounds me in her house every day. Her overbearing mother. Her bears."
"Her what?"
"Bears, she has this collection of porcelain bears. She has a birthday bear, graduation bear, bride bear, a bumblebee bear. You know a bear for every stage of her life."
"Bumblebee bear?"
"Yeah, her mother gave it to her as a reminder that she's deathly allergic to bees. I tried to make her something she just isn't. She wants a family and a real husband. It's only been five months, and I realize I've made a huge mistake. I want her in my life, but not in the way she wants."
All the questions I have about Stacie and Joshua are finally being answered. I knew that Joshua could never really love Stacie; he could never really want to be with someone like her. I desperately want to tell him I told you so, but I resist.
"Have you told her how you feel?"
"No, I can't; it would crush her."
"Why are you telling me all of this, Joshua?"
"I didn't plan on it. Seeing you brought back feelings, feelings of being attracted, desire. You are a pretty lady, Virginia, I always wanted you, and in some ways, I still do."
Joshua leans towards me. He puts his arm around my neck and pulls me towards him.
"Joshua, I don't think this is a good idea. You are—"
"I'm married? Yeah, I am, but I want you."
Joshua kisses me, and suddenly the world crashes in on me. I welcome it, and I'm sick of being numb. Before I know it, he's on top of me. We are kissing, grabbing, clawing at each other, both needing each other so badly. Joshua pulls my pants and underwear off and throws them across the room. He stands up and pulls his pants down. He's so erect; it's pointing towards the ceiling. He needs to be inside of me, and I need him to fill me up, to wake me from the dead. He sits on the couch and pulls me on top of him. I can't think of a place I'd rather be than on top of this man, pleasing him, connecting with him; he is mine right now, he is all mine, and he wants me; his body tells me so. It doesn't take long for Joshua to cum.
It makes me a little sad as he disconnects from me. I bury my face in his neck, inhaling his scent while his body slowly stops moving. I feel a tear run down my cheek. I cry because I know this is how it's supposed to be. Joshua and I are connecting in every way, just us, but he's still with her. Joshua guides me off him. I want to linger again, but remember he's not supposed to be here.
"Can I use your bathroom? I should clean up," he asks.
Joshua walks down the hall to the half bathroom. He turns around and comes back.
"Do you have a washcloth?"
I realize Joshua now has to go home to Stacie. He needs to get rid of my scent.
"Yes, of course, there are washcloths upstairs in my bathroom. It's the second door on the left."
Joshua goes upstairs and cleans up while I get dressed. I hear water running; I hear him gargle. I've just become the other woman.
"I better get going. Thank you, Virginia. You have been wonderful. You are just what I needed."
"What are you going to do, Joshua?"
"I don't know. I don't want to hurt Stacie. She's been so good to me, but things are changing. One thing I know for sure is I need passion. I need more than just a friendly marriage. I miss–"
"I miss this too, Joshua, more than you know. I'm here for you. I want to be here for you."
Joshua puts his arms around me.
"I'm going to make things right, Virginia, the way they should have been all along. Trust me on that."
I walk Joshua to the door, but before I open it, the doorbell rings.
"Are you expecting anyone?" he asks.
I shake my head. Joshua backs away from the door as I slowly open it. There is a small Amazon package on the doorstep.
"It's just Amazon."
Joshua takes a deep breath and kisses my forehead.
"You will be hearing from me again, Virginia; this isn't over."
His words calm my fears. I can let him walk out my door now, knowing we are not over. I pick up the package and bring it inside. I don't remember ordering anything, but then again, I don't remember doing a lot of things right before I go to bed. I strip the tape off the seal of the box and open it. Inside is a lot of packing, a small white printed card, and a small pink box. I pull out the card.
Thought you would need a replacement. Good skincare is so important. M
I pull out the small pink box that is decorated in silver lettering. It reads Moisture Lift Face Cream, Luxury at Its Finest by Radiance. I forgot I told Misty about Robert and the missing lotion. Good ole Misty, always trying to introduce me to some new product that will slow the effects of time. I told her I just want to grow old gracefully. She said she wouldn't let that happen. Suddenly, I realize for the first time in forever, I'm smiling, and no one is around. I have a good friend that did something nice for me today, I have a son that tolerates me, and I have Joshua b
ack. At this moment, everything is as it should be.
Chapter 48 – Virginia
Misty has presented me with vacation options, Las Vegas, Miami, Hawaii, but I keep blowing her off. I can't go anywhere now. I have to stay. I have to be ready for Joshua's next move. It has been a week since he and I have been together. This time I have been very patient, but the doubts are creeping back slowly, playing tricks in my head. I'm not going to let those bastardly thoughts win, and I'm not going to be that crazy bitch that scares him away for good. I need to give Joshua all the space and time he needs to leave Stacie. My patience will only pay off in the end.
I settle into another lonely Friday night, sipping wine and watching the evening news. I don't feel like being a short-order cook for Robert tonight, so instead, I scroll through the Uber Eats app looking for dinner options. Robert might as well be at Harry's these days. When he is here, he primarily resides in his room playing video games. Sometimes I will suggest a movie or show we can both watch together, something without a lot of sex. Recently, I discovered how awkward it is to watch a sex scene with my teenage son. I thought I would introduce him to his British heritage by watching The Tudors on Netflix. We were five minutes into the show when Henry the Eighth goes at it doggie style with Queen Catherine's lady in waiting. Robert said his stomach hurt, and he needed to take a dump. That ended our mother and son bonding night.
Nothing looks appealing to me as I continue scrolling through the different restaurant options. I could do spicy Thai, but Robert doesn't like Thai food. I don't want to order from two different restaurants and pay for two different delivery charges. I will concede to Robert's tastes. Maybe some spicy fried chicken? My search is interrupted by an unknown caller. I swipe it away and continue my search. The unknown caller tries again. What if it's a hospital? Maybe Mom had a stroke, or maybe it's the police station.
Harry could have gotten himself arrested for soliciting a prostitute. I answer the call.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Virginia, it's Joshua."
"Hi, I didn't recognize your number."
"Oh, sorry, I'm calling on the house landline. I'm at home. The cell service in this neighborhood sucks. Lots of trees and hills."
"Is everything alright?"
"No, not really, but I'm managing. Are you busy tonight?"
"No, not really. Where's Stacie?"
"She's out with her mom. They are having dinner and going to a movie or something. I'll be over in thirty minutes."
"You can't come here. Robert is with me. We could go somewhere, maybe for a drive?"
"Okay. I'll pick you up. Should be there in thirty minutes."
I hang up the phone and run to the bathroom to fix myself. My face is dry, and my makeup is flaking off my face. I reach for my face cream, but it isn't there. I remember I had to hide it from Robert. Lately, my lotion and cream, anything that provides lubrication, are disappearing and ends up hidden somewhere in Robert's room.
I wouldn't dare confront a teenage boy about missing lotion, so I just hide it. I moisturize, dabble some concealer over the blotches on my face, and touch up my mascara. I throw my hair up in a ponytail and head down the stairs. I order fried chicken for Robert and tell him I'll be out for a couple of hours. There's an emergency at work. It's the only thing I can think of; I have limited options given my pathetic little life. Another call comes in from Joshua, the unknown caller.
"You aren't going to believe this, Virginia, but my car won't start. I think the battery is dead. Damn it! Can we talk tomorrow? I'll try to get away."
I don't want to wait until tomorrow. I would lose my mind if I had to wait until tomorrow!
"I can pick you up, Joshua."
"I don't know, Virginia. Coming here, to Stacie's house, probably not a good idea, but damn I really want to see you."
"Fairmont Estates is a big neighborhood, Joshua. The houses aren't that close together. It's dark; no one will see."
"Yeah, but there's a security guard you have to get through."
"Okay. Just tell the guard you called an Uber; your car won't start. It's not that complicated."
"Do you have an Uber sign, Virginia? I'm sure he will look for that. I know! I will tell him my assistant is coming to pick me up and I'm in a hurry. Hopefully, he won't ask you your name, but if he does, he will just glance at your driver's license. I will stress to him I'm in a hurry."
"Okay, okay, give me your address; I'm leaving now."
The more I think about it, the more I realize maybe tonight is my chance to speed up Joshua's breakup with Stacie. Would it be so terrible if the guard has my name? Would it be so terrible if Stacie finds out I was there? I don't care if she does. I want her to know, if not tonight, then one day. I want her to know it was me that Joshua wants in the end, not her.
Twenty-five minutes later, I approach the gate of Fairmont Estates. There is a glassed-in booth where a pudgy bald white man with red cheeks and a red nose resides. He is wearing a black security guard uniform adorned with a badge and a gun. His name tag says, Sam. I'm not sure I'd feel safe with Sam guarding my premises.
"Hi, I'm here to see Joshua Steadman. I'm his assistant."
"Yes, he called down and said you'd be here, but he didn't give me your name. He hung up before I could ask him. I tried to call the house and his cell, but there's no answer."
Joshua must be avoiding the call, so he doesn't have to give him my name.
"He told me he was jumping in the shower after I got off the phone with him. He's in a huge hurry, Sam. Please don't get me in trouble with my boss."
"No, ma'am, wouldn't want that to happen. May I see your ID, so I can put it in the visitor's log?"
I happily comply. The gate opens, and I drive a half-mile to the mini-mansion. It looks like a smaller version of the White House. How fitting, I guess? I pull into the circular driveway and wait. I send Joshua a text.
I'm out front.
Five minutes go by, and I'm still waiting for Joshua to come out of the house. Another five minutes go by, and no Joshua. I decide to call his landline. It rings and rings, no voice mail, nothing, just continuous rings. Suddenly the lights flash through the large bay window. What the hell? I get out of my car. I think Josh is trying to tell me something. I stare up at the window. The lights flash again. He must be trying to get my attention. I walk to the door and ring the bell and wait, but nothing. I'm getting worried. What if something is wrong with him? I turn the doorknob, it is unlocked. I gently push it open just enough to fit my head throught the opening.
"Joshua? Are you there?"
There is no response, so I step into the foyer. Ahead of me is a long staircase with a huge crystal chandelier hovering at the top of the stairs and glowing through the bay window. Every tier of the chandelier is adorned with white fake candles. It's very bright. Suddenly, the lights on the chandelier flicker. The light isn't coming from Joshua; the chandelier has a short. I better get out of here, but what if there is something wrong with Joshua? What if that little bitch Stacie found out about us? What if she came home and whacked him over the head with a frying pan? I slowly climb the stairs, but before I get to the top, I'm startled by a woman's voice.
"Excuse me! Can I help you?" I turn to see a young woman at the bottom of the stairs.
"Who are you?" I ask.
"I'm Ashley, Mayor Steadman's assistant. Who are you?"
I'm confused, and my head is swimming. I hold onto the railing and try to stable myself.
"I was supposed to meet Joshua here, but he's not…."
"No, he's not here. He is out with Mrs. Steadman at an event. I'm here to pick up some papers. I will call Mr. Steadman and let him know you are here. What is your name?"
"Um, I need to go. I think I made a mistake," I say as I scramble down the stairs and out the door.
My car screeches as I pull out of the driveway. Once I get on the road that leads to the gate, I slow down. The guard opens the gate and lets me leave. I'm surprised he didn't call the c
ops on me. I regret leaving my name at the guard's desk, but it's too late now. If anyone asks, I'll just tell the truth. Joshua has a lot of explaining to do. As soon as I get home, I go straight to the fridge and pull out a bottle of pinot grigio and fill my glass to the rim. I see the empty box of chicken on the counter and hear the sounds of a battle coming from upstairs. Robert is okay. He is safe, but I'm a mess. I pull out my phone. The unknown caller's area code is local. I google the number. There are no results. I call the number, but it rings continuously without an answer. Am I crazy? It was Joshua's voice on the phone. I know it was. I'm second-guessing everything that just happened in the last hour. This is messed up. I text Joshua.
Are you fucking with me, Joshua? Why are you doing this to me?
Chapter 49 – Stacie
Joshua and I spent the evening at another cocktail party fundraiser. I didn't want to go. I'm super busy at the firm these days. Too many people are having ugly divorces. I really just wanted to go home, do takeout, and crash, but Joshua is very persuasive.
"Please, Stacie, we won't stay long. We will mingle for twenty minutes, find Congressman Whitfield, do our spiel, and leave. Besides, I have to finish planning your birthday surprise, Young Lady."
I haven't looked forward to a birthday since I was a kid. I always had a themed birthday party. One year it was a princess theme, and I dressed up as Ariel from the Little Mermaid. The next year, it was a soccer theme. My mom told me more boys would come if I had a soccer-themed party. They came but were more interested in roughhousing and pretending to be WWE wrestlers than they were in me. Birthdays stopped being fun when I became a teenager. Birthdays turned into kissing parties with truth or dare games. I usually was the brunt of a dare. Eventually, I stopped having birthday parties and going to them, but tomorrow, it can't come soon enough—a wonderful thirty-ninth birthday with my handsome husband.
Josh kept his word. We were in and out of the cocktail party and pulling into Fairmont all within ninety minutes. Sam, the security guard, motions us to stop when we approach the gate.
