Covert

by Natasha Preston

  "You're not very chatty, are ya?"

  He flicked his eyes to me without moving his head, and I jumped. "What's the point?"

  "To get to know people, to make friends, to not live like a hermit."

  I was rewarded with a charming smile.

  "You think I'm a hermit?"

  "Aren't you?"

  "No," he replied. "I don't spend much time alone at all."

  The spark in his eye told me everything and I turned my nose up in disgust. "Different girl every night?"

  "Not every night."

  "Previously broken heart or just not grown up yet?"

  "What?"

  "I want to know why you use women."

  "Can it not just be because I like sex but don't want a relationship?"

  "Not usually. I get it now though."

  "Get what?"

  "Get why."

  He rubbed his forehead and muttered, "Women. What do you think you get, Mackenzie?"

  "You don't want a relationship because you watched your parents divorce. You have a bad example because it's no secret that the split was a difficult one."

  He sat frozen for a minute and I knew I'd hit the nail on the head. Mackenzie one, Blake zero. "You don't know what you're talking about. I haven't met anyone I wanted to see exclusively before, that's all."

  "Whatever you say."

  His eyes narrowed to the point where they were almost closed.

  "Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

  "I'm not offended."

  God, this guy was weird. He was also sexy as hell. So much so that he made every other boy I'd ever fancied look like a gargoyle.

  "Wanna get out of here for a bit?" I asked.

  "You don't seem like the type to offer that," he replied. The spark in his eyes was back.

  "Get your head out of the gutter, you know that's not what I mean."

  I thought he'd say no but he stood up and arched his eyebrow when I didn't move. "Was that a trick question, Mackenzie?"

  "No," I replied, standing. "I just didn't expect you to go for it."

  "There's a lot about me you probably wouldn't expect."

  Yeah, I didn't doubt that for a second. He was confusing and moody and everything about him screamed complicated. There was also something about him that made me more forward than I'd ever been with a man.

  I followed him out of the cabin and along the path. He headed into the woods by the river.

  "So, what's your damage? Or are you as perfect as you look?"

  "I'm not sure how to take that," I said, and he shrugged. I was sure 'perfect' was meant sarcastically. "No damage. I'm boringly normal."

  "No dark secrets you're hiding?"

  I almost lost my footing. My throat closed up, almost choking me. Had Josh told him? "No, no secrets."

  "Liar," he muttered.

  I planted my feet and once he'd taken two more steps, he realised I was no longer beside him and turned around.

  Rolling his eyes, he said, "Oh, come on, Mackenzie, everyone has secrets."

  "Not dark ones."

  He stepped closer. I stood tall as he approached. Twigs snapped underneath his boots until he stopped almost toe-to-toe with me. I tried to ignore my ridiculous reaction to him being so close. His muscular frame and come to bed eyes really did make me want to go to bed.

  I bit the inside of my cheek. He was entirely too close and too far away at the same time.

  "The secrets you hide from yourself are always the most dangerous."

  "I'm not hiding anything from myself."

  "You're too straight."

  I let that sink in for a minute, or I tried to. When it still made no sense I said, "What?"

  "Perfect friend, perfect daughter, perfect student. I can see it all in your eyes. When do you let go? When do you let off steam? You're going to go crazy before you're thirty."

  "You know nothing about me."

  He'd hit a little too close to home and I didn't like it. There were things about my past I didn't like, mistakes I'd made that I wish I could take back. I tried to compensate by being everything that was expected of me. It was pretty tiring. The most annoying part was Blake, a guy I'd known for five bloody seconds, recognised that more than my friends and family. Either he was really good at reading people or he'd read my diary.

  "I don't know specifics but you've got frustrated teen tattooed all over yourself."

  "And what have you got tattooed over yourself?"

  Arrogant arse was my guess.

  "Japanese rising sun."

  "Huh?"

  He pulled up his t-shirt sleeve revealing a black tattoo of half a sun.

  "What's that mean?"

  "No idea, just liked it." Okay...

  Chuckling to himself, he walked off again.

  "You've known the others for years?" he asked once I'd caught up with him again.

  "Yeah."

  "Kyle and Aaron didn't seem that happy about me crashing your weekend. Megan either, actually."

  I shrugged. "They're cool. They like the dynamic we had pre Josh best. I do too, and they've just got used to us being a group of six. They can be kind of protective, Aaron especially. That guy would do anything for his friends; he'd take a bullet for us. Not that I wouldn't. Once a guy grabbed my arse after I'd told him not to and Aaron knocked him out, literally."

  "He sounds more psychotic than protective but put whatever label you want on it."

  "I will," I replied, narrowing my eyes. His theories about me, although true, annoyed me but I could handle it. What I didn't like was him speaking badly of my friends.

  "So tell me, a group as close as you lot..."

  I knew where that was going. "Not me. Josh and Courtney, as you know. Aaron and Tilly had an on/off relationship."

  "You never? Not even once?"

  "Nope. Girls and guys can be just friends, you know?"

  "Sure, just seems odd. I've been around groups of friends and there's always a few that have had drunken sex. Or at least oral."

  Or at least oral? If I wasn't disgusted at the casual way he just threw it in there, I'd laugh.

  "Sorry, no dirt here."

  "Wow, you lot really are as straight as they come. You planned board games for this evening?"

  "No! Sorry, Mr. Excitement. What do you do for fun?"

  It took my brain longer than it should have to process him whipping around, grabbing my wrists and shoving me against a tree, trapping me with his entire body. I was momentarily stunned. My body wanted to arch into him. I wanted to feel his skin against mine, his tongue in my mouth, his breath on my neck.

  What the hell was wrong with me? Him. It was him with his outrageous good looks and mystery.

  Forcing myself to get it together, I swallowed hard and whispered, "Sex is the only fun you have?" I stifled a moan as his lower body pressed against mine that little bit harder.

  "No, sex is the most fun I have." His eyes, now on fire, looked right through me, to the things that I hid away and still he stayed pressed against me, jaw tight as if he was finding it hard not to take me against the tree.

  I wasn't the person that instantly wanted someone. I had to build up to that, get to know them first, but Blake made me want to throw all my rules out of the window and give alfresco a try. I was too much of a wimp to make the first move but if he kissed me I was pretty sure that'd be it.

  Blake suddenly shoved away from me so hard I almost collapsed.

  "What?" I asked.

  "What're the odds of you freaking afterwards?"

  "High," I replied. Having sex with Josh's brother, who'd I'd only really met today, in the middle of the forest was probably a bad idea. I couldn't quite get that through to my racing pulse and overheated body though.

  "Thought so. Come on, I'll show you where I shoved Josh in the river and broke his arm."

  Blake gave me a tour of the woods surrounding the cabin, telling me stories from his childhood. I didn't really learn that much about him though, he told
me a lot but everything was fact-based and somewhat impersonal. Still, it was nice to know the brothers hadn't always been so hostile towards each other and there was a time when Josh hadn't been a complete arsehole.

  We took a leisurely walk back to the cabin, neither of us in a huge hurry to continue the drinking that was undoubtedly happening. Every so often his hand would brush mine and the earlier hunger for him came back and smacked me in the face. He was so different to the ordinary guys I usually went for. There was mystery and a darkness that was so totally alluring it scared me a little. Blake was just so much more. I'd known the guy for a few hours and I was already hooked. If I was sixteen I would be writing Mackenzie loves Blake in my notebook by now. It was pitiful, really.

  "What're you hoping to get out of this weekend, Mackenzie?" he asked. The cabin was in view now and part of me wished we had longer to go. He was cool to hang out with and it helped that he was drop dead gorgeous with a body to die for.

  "I'm just hoping to get through it."

  "That bad with Josh?"

  "Yep. It's okay though; I can deal for a few days. It'll be good to chill with Court, Megan, Aaron and Kyle." And you.

  "What're you hoping to get out of this weekend, Blake?"

  He shrugged. "Nothin', just had some time to kill."

  Chapter Three

  I laughed hysterically into the cushion until my stomach muscles screamed in protest. Everything only remotely amusing was heightened when you were drunk - Kyle falling over was hilarious. He didn't even go all the way down, it was more like a stumble, but I was drunk, so it didn't matter. My stomach was full from the enchiladas we'd all cooked and devoured. There were way too many enchiladas, but it seemed to do sod all to soak up the alcohol.

  My walk with Blake had caused a few eyebrow raises from Megan and Aaron. They seemed to think he was a bit of a dick but that was probably just because he was related to Josh and they hadn't really spoken to him yet.

  "Oh my God, we're gonna be so hung over tomorrow," Megan whined. She wasn't as drunk as she acted, but she had always been like that. Look at me wobble and then she would blatantly make herself trip over her own feet. She didn't like being drunk and losing control, but she didn't like to be the odd one out, so she pretended. Everyone knew she pretended, and I think she knew that, too, but we all went along with it and laughed at silly drunk Megan wobbling down the road.

  "More shots," Aaron announced, pointing to the empty shot glasses on the table. I had lost count of how many we had done so far, but as much as we had already drank; it was still a pretty slow night. My friends and I - minus Megan - could really put it away. Blake was surprisingly sober. I suspected he drank quite a bit in his teenage years because he had the same amount as us but wasn't too drunk, he could still walk in a straight line.

  As the shots kept coming, with all of us taking it in turns to pour the drinks and run back to the kitchen for the chilled vodka, I started to feel sick. Megan brought some Italian liquor with her and made us finish up the bottle because, as she put it, 'If I take that crap back with me my mother will disown me'. I could see why Laurel didn't want it back, it tasted of lemon and burned on the way down, like what toilet cleaner probably tasted like. We also polished off Aaron's bottle of spiced rum.

  I groaned and craned my neck. My body felt heavy and weak. I was getting to the sleepy part of being drunk, although I could usually go a lot longer.

  "Does anyone else feel weird?" I asked.

  Megan giggled. "What, drunk?"

  "Sort of, I guess," I replied, pressing my hands to my face. Please don't throw up. As much as I would've loved to, all over the new throws Josh had bought especially, I hated being sick, the taste and feel of it rushing up my throat made me panic. "I'm just gonna lay down for a minute." Keep still and don't move a muscle. Things that moved were sick. I just had to be a statue until the waves of nausea went away.

  "And I'm going up to bed," Megan said. "I'm tired and probably going to have the hangover from hell tomorrow." I nodded against the sofa cushion and mentally punched myself. Do not move, Mackenzie.

  "Err, Megan, down here tonight," Josh snapped. Ah, Courtney's idea that we should all sleep downstairs. Why it mattered where we were when we were unconscious, I did not know. Of course, Josh would have to back her up. Not because she was his girlfriend but because he would be able to say he tried. It would make him look good. He couldn't care less if Megan slept outside. Arsehole.

  "Shut up, Josh," she said, forcing her words to slur.

  "This isn't your house, in case you forgot."

  Aaron scoffed. "How could she forget? You remind us every five minutes!"

  "Josh, why does it bloody matter where everyone sleeps?" Blake asked. Thank you! "Just go up, Megan." I smiled as Megan stuck her tongue out at Josh and stumbled up the stairs. Again, I like Blake.

  "What's your problem?" Aaron said, slumping back against the end of the sofa from the floor. "Ever since Tilly and Gigi died you've been a complete prick."

  Before that, too.

  I curled up, not wanting to talk about them with Josh. It made me violently angry when I thought about the things he's said and done.

  "What the fuck is your problem? You dumped Tilly just before, remember?"

  Aaron's eyes darkened. "You know what, Josh, screw you! And I swear if you ever say her name again I'll kill you." I expected Aaron to get up and lunge for Josh. That was what he would have done. Why didn't he do that? I frowned. He was too drunk to move as well? Didn't usually stop him.

  "Stop!" Courtney shouted. "End it now."

  I clenched my fists. How could she not see what a dick Josh was? Aaron shook his head and took another swig from his bottle of vodka, finishing the last drop. I wanted to leave but I couldn't even raise my arm. My eyes suddenly weighed a ton. I felt like crap. The room spun, and I felt as if I was floating. Snuggling into the sofa with a deep groan, I drifted.

  It only felt like minutes later that I was woken up by the bravest human on earth. "What?" I growled.

  Blake's very amused expression was the first thing I saw when I reluctantly opened my eyes.

  "Your top," he said.

  I propped myself up on one elbow and looked down. It was still on so I didn't know what he was going on about. "What, Blake?"

  "It's..." He traced his finger along my hipbone where there was a small slice of skin on show where my top had ridden up an inch or two. I tried to breathe normally but my senses were overloaded. He was all I could see and smell and his fingertip rolling over my skin was doing things to me that made my eyes roll back.

  I looked around to see if anyone else was awake. Kyle and Aaron were still on the floor. Courtney and Josh must have gone upstairs. Hypocrites.

  "You woke me up to touch my stomach?" I asked as calmly as I could.

  "No, I woke you up to see if you've known me long enough to let me take you to bed?"

  I bit my lip. "Why me?"

  He frowned. "What?"

  "You do casual, which means you do girls that do casual. I don't. Why me?"

  After a minute of pondering my question he replied, "I don't know."

  "You want this to be a forget it happened in the morning deal?" Although it was practically morning. My head was swimming. I felt heavy and a little disorientated. A quick glance at the clock told me I'd barely been sleeping five minutes.

  "I don't know. I doubt I'll forget it happened in the morning."

  "Then what do you want, Blake?"

  If he said 'I don't know' again I was going to swing for him.

  "I want to take you upstairs. That's all I know right now."

  Could I live with that? I didn't need a marriage proposal but I liked to think that I was more than just a one-night screw. There was something about Blake and about the way he made me feel that I couldn't ignore.

  I sat all the way up and my lips brushed his. The hand that was on my stomach snaked around to my back and his other hand curled around my neck. The second his lips fir
mly covered mine I knew that this wasn't just a one night thing. It might not turn into anything at all but we'd definitely have more than tonight.

  I cracked my eyes open and they were immediately stung by the bright morning light streaming through the windows. Groaning, I ran my hands over my face. I felt like I'd been hit by a bus. My head throbbed and every time I swallowed I felt as if I was downing sawdust. I felt worse than I did when Blake woke me up but that may well have been because Blake was waking me up.

  I had never had a hangover so bad before. Last night I had drunk a lot but nowhere near enough to feel as awful as I did. Beside me, Blake lay on his side with one arm and one leg thrown over me. It was the first time he looked peaceful. Whatever weighed on his mind was gone when he slept.

  My experience with the morning after a one-night stand was minimal. I knew the rules were to generally get the hell out as soon as possible but in this situation that was impossible. We were spending the weekend in the same secluded place. There was no need for any awkwardness though, we were attracted to each other and acted upon that. We were also adults.

  Pushing myself up, I flopped, almost falling back against the mattress. I had no energy. The curtains were open and the sunlight burned my eyes. I needed water and pills. I also needed to throw up the remaining alcohol that was still sloshing around in my system. Never again. Ever, ever, ever again!

  My movements woke Blake. He removed his hand from across my stomach and rubbed his face. "I feel like shit," he said.

  "Join the club."

  He peeked at me through his fingers. "How do you not look like hell in the morning? I mean you've got that hot, postsex bed head thing happening but that's just turning me on."

  "How can you feel like crap and still want sex?"

  Moving both of his hands from his face, he replied, "You've seen yourself, Mackenzie."

  I didn't think I was anything great, but I loved how he saw me. Everyone wanted someone to think they were special.

  Blake's words wrapped around me, making me feel much more for him than I should at this point. It wasn't love but it was something I wanted to explore and give a chance. If I didn't feel so awful I would lay right back down and get lost in him again.

  "I..." I what?

  Chuckling quietly, he shoved himself up and reached for his jeans. "I need food and a strong coffee. Do you know what everyone has planned for today?"

  Following his lead, I grabbed my clothes and started to get dressed. "We're going down to the lake to swim and hang out. Aaron's decided to feed everyone barbecue food all day then we're making a bonfire in the evening."