Pain of The Lone Spectre

by Adrian P

  CHAPTER FOUR

  “Freedom does not consist in any dreamt-of independence from natural laws; but in the knowledge of these laws, and in the possibility this gives of systematically making them work toward definite ends.”

  -Friedrich Engels-

  Chapter 4 / Part 1

  The world stopped shaking after an hour of constant tremor. Inside a short-rise building, Rachele lied flat on her stomach underneath a table, covering the back of her head with both hands. She peeked out. “Is it over?”

  Christina crawled out of a table’s underneath opposite her. She lent her hand to Rachele. “Where’s Charley?” she looked around. “Are you okay?”

  “I think so,” a voice came from above.

  Charlotte stood upside down on the ceiling while squatting like a frog. Her auburn hair stretched downwards, waving as a breeze from outside blew in from the windows.

  “Why are you up there?”

  “So I won’t get crushed by debris from cracked ceiling.” Charlotte replied while walking towards the windows.

  Hundreds of buildings in Kotabaru collapsed, with ashes and fire puffing onto the sky. Charlotte searched for the observatory hill. Gone. The massive mound of land collapsed into a crater, covering its surrounding neighbourhood with large piece of rocks and soil.

  The girl snatched her communicator and called a number. A ring tone. No answer. She called again. No one picked up.

  “Where is he?” she bit her fingernails. “Damn it. Damn it. Don’t tell me—“

  “Calm down, Charley,” Rachele said. “The Bandana Boy won’t die so easily. I’m sure he’s on his way here—“

  The door opened.

  Audi entered with dust and dirt covering his body. A large patch of bloodstain painted his clothes, but the boy lacked fatal wounds. He stood straight, but his expression was empty. Charlotte back-flipped to the floor and ran straight at him, punching his chest lightly.

  “Where have you been?” she yelled. “Why didn’t you say anything if you’re alive? Why didn’t you at least message or something? Why—“

  “I can’t,” the boy replied with a weak voice. “I had to carry some weight while navigating through the mess. This city, no, this planet is beyond repair.”

  Christina approached him. “What are you talking about?”

  “I’ve compiled reports from the planet’s department of climatology and geology,” Audi replied. “Konstantin’s weapon has triggered a chain reaction of environmental shifts, from temperature, pressure, atmospheric content, and planetary tectonic movement,” he paused. “The balance, the planet’s equilibrium is being rewritten, and whatever it’ll become will disrupt the planet’s habitability. Or worse? Destroys this world.”

  “Is his superweapon that powerful?” Christina gritted her teeth. “Who the bloody hell are these Brotherhood people? How did they come up with such terrifying device?”

  “We’ve always had the science in form of Terraforming technology,” Audi replied. “But Konstantin appropriated this by reversing the function. To turn habitable planets inhabitable, rather than the opposite.”

  Rachele frowned. “What do we do now?”

  “Escape,” Audi replied. “The planet has calmed down for now, but we won’t know when it’s going to act up again.”

  Christina peeked over the boy. “Where is he?”

  “Who?”

  “The gorilla.”

  Audi flinched.

  “That bastard has some guts abandoning me in the middle of our retreat, said he wanted to help you,” she grumbled. “I have half a mind to punch him down to the ground and—“

  “Do you want to see him?”

  Christina paused.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Why?” she asked. “What’s with the question?”

  Audi sighed. “Come with me to the front yard.”

  “You’ll know what I’m talking about.”

  In a ruined front yard full of large rocks and debris, a large body lied straight on the ground with his face covered under a white, blood-stained handkerchief. His lower torso was covered with a white bed sheet, with blood spreading gradually throughout.

  Audi walked towards the body and stopped, standing still in front of him. He glanced back. Christina’s face turned pale. She approached the body with an irregular walking pace, kneeling next to it.

  “No, how is this—“ Christina covered her mouth with both palms. “Why? How—“

  “He died protecting me from Konstantin,” the boy clenched a fist. “Had it not been for him, I wouldn’t be breathing right now.”

  “Impossible…impossible!” Christina kneeled with both knees and shook Bryant’s body. “Wake up, you damned gorilla! You’re stronger than this! Where the hell is your boasting of strength? Why are you not—“

  Rachele placed both hands on her shoulder. “He’s gone, Chrissie.”

  “No…” Christina bit her lips.

  Rachele tried calming Christina down, but the latter only grew more hysterical. They bickered. They yelled at one another. Rachele grabbed Christina’s shoulders and clenched her hands tight, toning her panic down a notch.

  “Bryant’s a good man,” Charlotte stood next to Audi. “He doesn’t deserve this death.”

  “A good man living in an unjust world,” he took a communicator out.

  “That’s not yours,” the girl pointed. “Whose is that?”

  “The big man’s,” Audi opened the device’s contact list. “He wanted me to contact his fiancée.”

  “Why?”

  Audi paused. “To tell her that he’s always loved her.”

  Charlotte pulled her sight down. “That’s…really sad.”

  The boy turned to her.

  “Imagine expressing your feeling to the one you love when you’ve already parted ways,” Charlotte said. “Bryant doesn’t even get the chance to say goodbye. How devastated was he? How devastated will the fiancée be?”

  The boy opened the contact named Fiona. He copied the number onto his own communicator and initiated a call. After several seconds of ringtone, a voice picked up.

  “Who is this?” a woman spoke.

  “Good day,” Audi replied with a merrier tone, albeit his expression remained neutral. “May I speak to Fiona?”

  “I’m Fiona.”

  The boy leaned on the wall. “I am Bryant McGowan’s acquaintance.”

  Fiona kept silent for seconds. “Bryant’s?”

  “Correct. I’ve got a bad news for you.”

  “What bad news?”

  “Bryant…has passed away.”

  “Eh?” the woman raised her voice. “Hold on. What? What are you talking about?”

  “A tragic accident has befallen Bryant McGowan, and before his life ended, he wanted me to deliver a message to you.”

  “I see,” Fiona’s voice shook. “What did he say?”

  “He said he still loved you.”

  A pause.

  “My condolences for your loss. He was a good man. A good partner. A good human being,” the boy continued. “He would’ve made a fine husband, and likewise, he must’ve considered you—“

  “Did he not tell you?” Fiona interrupted.

  “Tell me what?”

  “Is that what he said? That we’re still engaged?”

  The boy flinched. “Hold on. I thought—“

  Fiona sighed.

  “We’ve cut off the engagement.”

  “What?” Audi’s voice raised in abrupt. “Impossible! But he told me—“

  “What did he tell you?”

  “He said he was on a quest to buy you a diamond ring for the engagement. It was your parents’ challenge to him, a mocking insult, but Bryant took on the challenge and fought on!”

  “A quest to buy the diamond ring?” Fiona’s voice shook. “Are you saying he’s been travelling across the galaxy to find money to buy the ring?”

  “Okay, Miss Fiona, what the hell is going on?” Audi’s voice stiffened.
“Has Bryant been lying to me about something?”

  “He didn’t lie, but he must’ve muddied the truth,” Fiona replied. “My parents refused to acknowledge the engagement, and they gave him a challenge to buy the diamond ring to prove himself. That much is true.”

  “Then what don’t I know?”

  Fiona paused for a second. “The engagement was called off right away after that.”

  “Your parents called it off? After giving him a challenge? What kind of crap is that?”

  “You misunderstood,” Fiona replied. “My parents didn’t call off the engagement.”

  “I did.”

  Audi froze on spot.

  “Look, Bryant must’ve trusted you a lot if he shared that much story with you, so I will oblige by sharing my side of the equation,” she said. “Do you know the reason why my parents were against our marriage?”

  “They think Bryant isn’t rich enough.”

  “Half-correct,” Fiona said. “What Bryant didn’t tell you, no, what I didn’t tell Bryant, is that my parents have been collecting a list of suitors for me, for years, since my high school.”

  Silence.

  “These people are individuals of high stature. Young directors. Successful entrepreneurs. Adept businessmen. They are people with the financial means to support themselves and beyond.”

  Audi frowned and clenched his fists. “And?”

  “What I didn’t tell Bryant…is that I have been engaged to a suitor when he proposed—”

  “Are you fucking serious?”

  “I understand, you’re upset,” Fiona replied. “But—“

  “Why didn’t you tell him you were already engaged to someone else while you’re still dating? Don’t you have the decency to at least tell him the truth, no matter how much it’ll hurt him?”

  “I can’t!” Fiona replied. “Bryant…I knew how sensitive he is. I knew how much he loved me. I can’t bear telling him that I’ve been—“

  “Secondly,” the boy interrupted. “Don’t you know how dedicated of a man Bryant is? How much he cared about you? How much he thought of you? The effort he’s willing to go through, the risk of death, the suffering, abandoning his secure banking job, just so that he can be together with you?”

  “Of course I know, that’s the reason I—“

  “Yet you’re abandoning him from some asshole with money? Some bastard with title and connection? Is that what you are?”

  “Listen!” Fiona shouted. “I will not stand by your accusation! Had I been driven into relationships solely by money, I wouldn’t have dated Bryant in the first place! I wouldn’t even consider him as a romantic partner!”

  “Then why—?”

  “Let me ask you something,” Fiona said. “How much does it cost for a family to live?”

  “What?”

  “Consider food, clothing, shelter, healthcare, and energy,” she continued. “With prices that are ever-rising and wages that are stagnant, my salary combined with Bryant will never be able to sustain a secure and comfortable life. Need I speak of policy fee for multiple insurances? Health insurance. Work insurance. Vehicle insurances. Ah yes, add commuting costs while at it,” she paused. “And that’s before taking into account our plan to have children. How much is the cost of raising one? What about their education, from childhood up to university? What about other costs that we may not have thought up?”

  Silence.

  “And needless I say leisure expenses? Retirement? I don’t want to live a life where all my salaries are spent for basic survival. Everyone needs recreation. I do. My future children definitely need it.”

  Audi’s body shook as cold sweat poured down his nape.

  “Please do not misunderstand,” Fiona said. “For all its worth, I loved Bryant with all my heart, more than I can ever express in words,” she paused. “But becoming family is more complicated than that. Love, feelings, and romance take a back seat. I need to be realistic. Pragmatic. I must not be naïve. I have to—“

  “Are you done?”

  Fiona stopped.

  “The most amusing part of your theory is the assumption that Bryant didn’t know all these things. No. It’s what’s been in his mind all along. He was a fucking banker, remember?”

  Silence.

  “You assumed that his existence is static. That he has no capacity to improve. That somehow, whatever he does, his salary will stay the same, and he won’t be able to contribute enough to that damned long-term financial plan of yours.”

  “That—“

  “How the fucking hell is Bryant supposed to improve himself, to prove himself, if you don’t give him a chance?” Audi raised his voice. “Just because he isn’t the best choice for a husband now, doesn’t mean he can’t be one, that he’s forever condemned as an inferior choice at the bottom of the pond! He has the quality of the very best husband, and the only thing that’s lacking is his financial strength! Why are you assuming that this is an eternal fact? Why is it that when someone is not the best, they must be denied the chance at happiness?”

  “I understand your point! But—“

  “Listen, Fiona,” Audi tightened his grip on the communicator. “Bryant was lucky to be severed from you. For a man who’s willing to give others a million chances, someone like you, who won’t give him even one chance, does not deserve him.”

  The boy hung up and slammed the communicator down.

  He stared at the device on the ground with a boiling red face. The boy clenched his fists so tight that they started bleeding. Charlotte held both his hands from behind, opening them slowly, and covered the palm from his fingers. The two kept silent for seconds. A minute. Two minutes.

  “That was unbelievable,” she spoke softly. “I can’t believe she’s—“

  “No,” Audi’s voice was cold. “The tragedy is that everything she said was true. She was just being rational. She was just doing what everyone else would do. Does she have a choice? Marrying Bryant would just cause her to suffer. Cause her future children to suffer. Cause their entire family to suffer.”

  “But like you said, she could’ve given him a chance,” Charlotte said. “Look at how much Bryant worked hard for the diamond ring. The kind of risk he’s willing to take to—“

  “That’s exactly the point,” Audi frowned. “Bryant has no security. He’s a terrible choice of partner for people who wants to settle. He—“

  “Why are you suddenly justifying what the woman did?” Charlotte released his hand. “I thought you confronted her because you were appalled? Because you believed what she’s done isn’t right?”

  “I despise her every decision and thought pattern, Ghost Girl,” he replied. “I frown at her assumption that Bryant cannot be better than he is. I loathe her for not willing to give the big man a fucking chance, no matter how much she realised Bryant’s love and dedication for her.”

  “Then why—“

  “Because we live in a world where love doesn’t fucking matter.”

  Charlotte flinched.

  “Bryant once told me, that Matthew sided with Konstantin for the handsome promise of money, but not out of greed, but out of necessity,” Audi began. “His family wouldn’t survive another day without him feeding them, and that’s the reason why he killed himself after failure.”

  “That’s different!” Charlotte yelled. “That—“

  “Matthew fought and suffered to feed his family, but he is forced into acting like he’s the greediest man in the world—ignoring the sufferings of millions in order to earn some money.”

  Silence.

  “Living as a moral being, to base our life’s foundation upon love and morality isn’t viable anymore. Even altruists must succumb to greed in order to survive,” Audi continued. “That means—“

  Charlotte struck his cheek with full force.

  Audi fell sideways to the ground.

  “I can’t believe it,” she said with tears flowing down her cheeks. “The boy who told me to never give up, has just give
n up. The boy who taught me that the world can be better, has just decided that it couldn’t. The boy who gave me hope, just lost every hope he’s got.”

  He picked himself up, but remained on all four.

  “You told me in the dance ball that night, that we need more people who are brave enough to face the world, even knowing that they will have to suffer through it,” she continued. “You wanted me to persevere. You wanted to become my support. You wanted to help me achieve my dreams.”

  Audi remained quiet.

  “But how can you support me, if you stopped believing in what I’m doing? How can you help me achieve my dream, if you’ve decided that the world cannot be changed?” she stepped back.

  The boy glanced at her. “Do you really think the world can be changed?”

  “What?”

  “I underestimated the power of ideological inertia, the desire of people to let the world remain the same. The power of conservatism. I didn’t realise how much people are unwilling to give a chance at change,” he paused. “We are vilified whenever we complaint, even if for the better. When people realise that the world is a harsh place to live, they were told to adapt, get on with it, suck it up, for that’s simply how the world works. When people suffer, they were told that it’s to make them strong, and any attempt to imagine a better world without suffering is considered whiny. Weak. Pathetic.”

  Charlotte clenched her eyes tight.

  “We can’t fight that kind of world. No one person can resist. I was naïve. I was unrealistic. I was—“

  “I was wrong,” Charlotte spoke.

  Audi’s chest shook.

  “I thought you’re different from the rest,” her voice softened. “I thought you won’t kneel at the slightest hint of despair. I thought you won’t regress into whatever bullshit a ‘realist’ is defined as. I thought you will stand your ground and keep on fighting, even if the entire world is pitted against you.”

  “Ghost Girl, I—!”

  “My name’s Charlotte,” her voice turned monotone. “And I don’t care what you do anymore. I was wrong about you. I was wrong about myself. I regretted ever harbouring a feeling for you.”

  “You’re just another loser who can’t stand against the world’s attempt at forcing conformity on its people.”