Heart of Shadows

by Martin Ash

  ‘The flesh is deeply hurt,’ she said in a quizzical murmur. ‘What happened to you, dear? These are the marks of a murderous attack.’

  Meglan’s eyes were closed, but at the question she felt a spasm of unease and was at a loss as to how to reply.

  ‘Ah, no matter,’ said Inonna. ‘It’s not my business.’

  Her fingers continued their light strokes, kneading with great tenderness, working knowingly upon the flesh of Meglan’s throat and neck, beneath her chin, onto her shoulders and breastbone.

  ‘The bruising is extensive,’ she observed. ‘I have an embrocation that will encourage the anger to depart. One moment.’

  She briefly left the room, and returned holding a fat clay jar plugged with cork. ‘Now, let’s be rid of these cruel contusions that disfigure your beauty so. Here, remove your tunic. Don’t worry about Gaskid’s seeing, nor your companion either. You can turn the other way. In fact, Gaskid, bring out your counterboard and dice and engage Jans in a tournament while I banish the pain that grips young Meglan’s flesh. Look, Jans yawns! We’re poor hosts who have bored him so quickly!’

  Meglan was at first self-conscious, but the men complied, seating themselves at the table where they had eaten, with their backs to the two women. Meglan slipped the tunic from her shoulders and breasts. Dame Inonna watched her with a bright, unblinking gaze.

  ‘So pretty,’ she said.

  She had uncorked the jar. A fragrance touched Meglan’s nostrils, quite powerfully pungent and exotic, yet delicately and distantly perfumed. It evoked thoughts of faraway places to which Meglan had never been, seemed to stir wistful memories which she could not quite bring to consciousness. She felt somewhat dreamy and gazed at Inonna’s strange face, which expressed so much yet gave little away. For a brief moment she had the strange sensation of having experienced this before.

  With two fingers Dame Inonna scooped an opaque, bluish substance from the jar. She moved to position herself behind Meglan. Meglan felt first the calming touch of her cool, oiled fingers. She let herself relax, and now the embrocation penetrated her skin with a warm, soothing sensation. Dame Inonna hummed to herself in a low voice, a slow, hypnotic chant, lacking melody or fixed rhythm, but which in itself was as comforting as her touch.

  Meglan closed her eyes. Tension slipped away and her head lolled back against Inonna’s shoulder. She slipped effortlessy into a blissful half-slumber.

  Time ceased. She floated in a dreamy somnolence beyond conscious control, suspended perhaps for moments, perhaps an age. It would never end. She never wanted it to. She was adrift in a psychic ocean, warm and slumberous, beyond pain, beyond harm or concern, sublime. Nothing could be wrong. Until somehow, penetrating her languor, came a far-off, unwelcome twinge, a sensation, barely-apprehended, of misgiving. Something was not quite right.

  Even before her eyes were open she sensed the change, subtle as it was. Dame Inonna’s fingers still stroked and caressed, but their touch had a different quality. Lightly, they moved upon Meglan’s breasts, just touching, exploring, moving away, returning. The touch was pleasurable. Meglan both wanted it to continue and felt that it should not. It was not like before: these were caresses, not motions of healing. Without invitation they had gained an intimacy and were no longer innocent.

  Meglan opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was Gaskid’s face, close. His eyes, fixed upon her breasts as Dame Inonna stroked and massaged them, almost bulged from his face. Meglan stiffened and recoiled, pushing Inonna’s hands and covering her nakedness with her arms.

  ‘Ah, child, don’t be alarmed.’ Inonna’s voice came huskily, close to Meglan’s ear. ‘Gaskid requires instruction in the healing, that he may pass on the goodness to others. He learns through observing me.’

  ‘Yes. I observe. I learn the way.’ Gaskid flicked an eager tongue over his lips, his face flushed and gleaming. His bony hands shifted in agitation upon his knees. He pressed his thighs together.

  Meglan pulled up her tunic to cover herself, and rose from the stool. She felt light-headed. Now she saw Jans. He was slumped across the table, his arms asprawl. ‘What has happened to Jans? Jans! Jans!’

  ‘Your friend has drunk too much,’ Gaskid said, drawing back.

  ‘He drank only two tankards. That’s not enough to put him to sleep. I had one and was hardly affected. Jans! Jans!’

  ‘He can’t hear you, my dear,’ said Dame Inonna, still at Meglan’s back. ‘He won’t wake before morning.’

  ‘You’ve drugged him?’

  In sudden alarm Meglan’s hand went to the dagger at her belt. She drew it out and took a step away from the two. At the same time Dame Inonna stepped around into her view. Meglan gave a gasp. Dame Inonna’s skin had taken on a mottled green hue, marked with a clearly defined pattern of zig-zagging black. Her face, too, had changed shape. The whole lower part protruded further forward into a broad, blunt muzzle, nostrils high and to the fore, the mouth a wide, thin, lipless line. The eyes were yellow and revealed nothing human.

  ‘Don’t be afraid, child. We mean you no harm.’

  Meglan stared wildly from one to the other. ‘Come no closer!’

  ‘My dear, we won’t hurt you.’

  ‘Then why do you- What are you?’ Even as she framed the words it hit Meglan that Dame Inonna’s transformation had caused her to resemble nothing more than a huge snake.

  ‘She is Inonna, the gifted one,’ replied Gaskid. ‘She is Inonna, Queen of Serpents. She heals; her counsel is prophetic; she comprehends the mysteries of the universe and the meaning of all things.’

  ‘I want to leave!’

  ‘You’d be ill-advised to do so,’ said Dame Inonna. ‘There are things out there, most especially at night, which would harm you. And you would be alone. Your companion wouldn’t be able to aid you.’

  ‘The risk can’t be any greater than here.’

  ‘Believe me, my dear, you’ve nothing to fear from us.’ Dame Inonna moved as if to step towards her.

  ‘Come no closer! I’ll kill you!’

  ‘You can’t kill me. But think, my child. Had we intended you harm, would we have allowed you to keep the dagger to menace us? And think again. Haven’t I helped you? Aren’t you healed?’

  Meglan had forgotten her pain and bruising. She put her free hand to her neck, applying careful pressure. There was no pain. Gingerly, she moved her head, shifted her shoulders. Still no discomfort. She swallowed; the soreness in her throat had gone.

  At Dame Inonna’s instruction Gaskid produced a mirror, framed in white wood decorated with an etched serpent motif. He offered it to Meglan. Nervously she accepted it and glanced at her reflection. The bruises and swelling had vanished.

  She fought back her bewilderment, struggling for words. ‘This- This is-’

  Dame Inonna smiled, a curious distortion of her mouth and jaw. Her serpentine appearance was in fact diminishing. The mottled pattern on her skin had begun to fade. She was becoming human again.

  ‘How have you done this?’ Meglan asked.

  ‘She has the gift,’ Gaskid replied.

  ‘Meglan, put away your weapon and I will explain everything,’ said Dame Inonna. ‘I won’t harm you. If I’d wanted to, I could have done so already, couldn’t I?’

  There was no denying this. Meglan had been at her mercy. But what of Gaskid, who had ogled her so? Meglan grew hot and angry. And Inonna’s caresses that had grown so intimate?

  She glanced across at Jans. What was happening here? Wholly unnerved, she sheathed her dagger, sensing that it was unlikely to protect her.

  ‘Explain, then.’

  Dame Inonna waited, gathering her thoughts, then began, ‘As a young girl I lived with my family in a small village some distance from here. One day, while working in the fields, I was bitten by a venomous serpent. I should have died, but I did not. Immediately after receiving the bite I began to feel odd, weirdly light, buoyant. My perceptions became acute. The air about me seemed alive, full, abounding with bright light and
discordant sound. I lay on my bed, my eyes closed, yet I could see things. Visions confronted me. Later, when I returned to normal, my parents could not believe it. They took it as a sign that I was somehow different, set apart from others. Over the ensuing weeks they plied me with other poisons – small doses at first, increasing as my resistance became ever more plain. Again, I was wholly unharmed, but again found myself in that strange, heightened condition of intoxication. And I found I could speak the language of serpents, and of some other animals, even of plants. They all imparted to me messages, secrets, knowledge of hidden things. I gained insights, I was able sometimes to peer into the future. I had knowledge of the distant past and learned that the body I now occupied was just a temporary vessel. I had lived before and would live again. I discovered the healing gift. Certain techniques of what you would term magic were made known to me. It was a great gift; the wisdom of serpents is little known. But I also discovered that I was changing. My skin, my appearance, my nature. I was becoming something other than human.’

  Dame Inonna paused, her eyes lowered, and stared for some time into a private distance. ‘In time I was driven from my home. I was a freak and despite the benefits I could provide, the people were afraid of me. On the tail of fear comes hatred. I couldn’t stay, out of concern for my life and the lives of those I loved.

  ‘The serpents showed me the way to this place. It is protected. There’s a convergence of rare energies here, and here I discovered the secrets of administering the rare plants, the minerals and compounds that have gathered in this extraordinary domain. I’ve lived here ever since.’

  Meglan observed her, puzzled. ‘I still don’t understand. This is all fascinating, extraordinary, but what has it to do with me?’

  ‘Nothing. Except that I needed you tonight. No, you’ve nothing to fear. Be calm. I’m still changing, you see. The gift I received makes demands upon my greater self. I am one with serpents, but they take from me. Gradually I become one of them. I fight it. To delay the process I need to spend time with people, so I can take a little of their human essence. But I’m a freak, shunned by all but Gaskid. I take something of him, but he suffers through my dependence. That’s why he is as he is. He would give me all, for he is devoted, but I won’t let him do that. Nevertheless, the fact that we are together, without others, means that Gaskid is continually giving of his essence in order that I might retain my humanness. Every two months we take our goods to the souk. There I mingle with crowds, touching where I can, receiving the human essence in infinitesimal doses from each person I come into contact with. They’re unaware. I take so little from each that they’re not diminished in any way. But it strengthens me, enables me to survive as I am. Now, as you know, bandits prevented us from proceeding to Dharsoul. I don’t know what will become of me.’

  Megan had tensed again. ‘What are you saying? You’ve taken something from me? My- my essence? What have you done to me?’

  ‘Again I say, be calm, child. I haven’t harmed you. I’ve taken your pain, both physical and spiritual. It’s as much a part of your humanity as any other aspect of your self. You’ve suffered nothing – indeed, you have gained. And I have gained. It has been a reciprocal exchange, and I thank you.’

  Meglan’s eyes went from Dame Inonna to the strange little man, Gaskid, and back again. Inonna smiled her ophidian smile. Meglan said, ‘But you… touched me. Without my consent you became intimate.’

  ‘I apologize. I absorb your pleasure, your pain, any aspect of you. It is what I ache for, the sustenance I need to retain my humanity. But as I’ve said numerous times, I would not do you harm. And if you will allow it, I would take more from you tonight. It will restore me. In return I can be of great assistance to you.’

  ‘In what way?’

  ‘When I took away your hurt I sensed certain things. I think you are an unusual young woman. You are greatly troubled, and I have a feeling that you may also be in great danger. If you will allow me to know more, I can help you. I can counsel you on the most advisable course you should take. In addition, I may be able to bestow upon you something that will help you through the troubles that lie in wait for you.’

  ‘And what do I have to do in return?’

  ‘Firstly, simply sit here with me. Place your hands in mine. Tell me briefly something of what oppresses you and allow me to share your mind for a moment.’

  ‘That’s all?’

  ‘That’s all that is required for me to help you. If you will help me in return I ask only that you lie with me tonight, that I may take something of you in order to restore something of myself. But you needn’t say yes. I’ll take nothing if you don’t wish it. And this is not a trade. Give me your hands now and I will freely help you in any way I can. Tell me of your father and brother, who so occupy your thoughts and for whom you feel so much concern. I ask for nothing in return.’

  Meglan stared hard at her. ‘You know?’

  ‘Little. But come, sit with me, take my hands and allow me to see.’

  Meglan hesitated briefly. This was all so strange. She was fearful, but to know something of Sildemund and her father. If it was possible…

  There really was no decision to be made. Meglan laid her fingers in Dame Inonna’s hands.

  Immediately she felt a warmth, like a subtle breath passing through her veins. She allowed herself to be seated before the snake-woman, gazing into her otherworldly face. Dame Inonna closed her eyes. ‘Tell me what troubles you, and hold an image of your father and brother in your mind so I may also see them.’

  ‘My brother Sildemund – my twin – has been sent to Dharsoul on an urgent mission for our father. I went after him, without our father’s consent. Something he carries is greatly needed by our father. I had hoped to bring him back more quickly than he would otherwise have come, but I am thwarted. I’m afraid. What has become of Sildemund? Has he been taken by bandits? Is he in Dharsoul? And my father, Master Atturio, is frail and ill at home in Volm. I feel that I’ve deserted him, yet I really had no choice. And now… I don’t know what to do. Should I continue on in hope of finding Sildemund, or return to comfort my dear father?’

  Dame Inonna remained seated for some time, her eyes closed. Her grip tightened spasmodically from time to time around Meglan’s fingers. Beneath their lids her eyes moved back and forth. Once or twice she winced, as with pain or shock. When she opened her eyes her look was troubled, but she stared into space as if seeing nothing around her. She said ‘Sildemund has been attacked by bandits, but he escaped them. He is in Dharsoul now. It is confused. I see him with two companions and the Crown Prince, Enlos. But things are not progressing well. I sense difficulties – and more lie ahead.’ She slightly shifted her bleary gaze. ‘Your father…’

  Dame Inonna straightened on her seat, stiffening. Then she stared unblinking at Meglan. ‘Ah… No. I see.’

  ‘What is it?’ said Meglan. ‘What do you see? Has something happened?’

  ‘No. I’m sorry. The vision was a little blurred for a moment. You should go after your brother. He needs you. You should find him and remain with him to do what has to be done.’

  ‘But my father… What of him? What did you see?’

  ‘You chose the right course in leaving. There was nothing you could have done to help your father by staying with him, and there’s nothing to be gained by returning to Volm now. Be sure of this. You should not go back. You must follow Sildemund!’

  Dame Inonna released her hands. ‘There is danger, more so than I first perceived. Something… I couldn’t make it out. Child, you are involved in a hazardous mission. Do not return to the Dharsoul Road.’

  ‘But how then will I reach Dharsoul.’

  Dame Inonna inhaled deeply. ‘There’s a way through Dazdun’s Despair. It’s not easy. It twists and winds and is invisible to normal eyes. It’s known as the Invisible Way, or the Serpentine Path. It’s not a quick route but as long as you don’t wander from it, it will take you to Dharsoul.’

  ‘But how wi
ll I find it?’

  ‘A moment.’ Dame Inonna rose and shuffled to the corner of the room where the large carved wood serpent stood. She opened a small chest, removed something and came back.

  ‘This will show you.’ She held out a small effigy of a snake, half the length of her little finger, cast in silver-white metal with tiny opaque white gems for eyes. ‘Treat it as precious. Its head will always point in the direction of the Serpentine Path.’

  Meglan took the little snake. Dame Inonna looked wan. Meglan sensed she had been drained by the effort of her vision.

  ‘You’re willing to give me this, to help me further?’

  ‘In any way I can, child.’

  ‘And in return I should be with you in your bed tonight?’

  The snake-woman shook her head. ‘I said I would make no demands. There is no trade. My gifts are given freely.’

  Meglan close her fingers around the snake talisman. ‘Your gift, your talent, it’s too important to be allowed to perish. You have helped me, so let me give my own gift if it will help you. I’ll lie with you if it will restore you.’

  Dame Inonna smiled, bowing her head slightly. She held out a hand. ‘We should retire now, child, for I’m weary.’

  At the door to the bedroom Dame Inonna halted, one hand resting upon the wall. ‘Tomorrow you will not recall me, or this place. This is our protection. You’ll know what you need to know. Take care, then. Be alert. I’ve sensed a shadow on your track.’

  ‘A shadow?’

  ‘A presence, dark and hateful.’

  Meglan shuddered. Dame Inonna clasped her hand in both of hers. ‘Your mission is more important than you know. Whatever may befall you, as long as you are able, do not relinquish your task. You remain in my thoughts. I wish you well.’

  XIV

  Meglan dreamed.

  A voice spoke to her from a distance, raised so as to be heard over the soughing of a dark, warm wind. The speaker was unseen.