Always the Wallflower (Never the Bride Book 5)

by Emily E K Murdoch

  Oh, you stupid fool, Letitia thought quietly. He will disappear now, and you will never see him again. Never. That was your chance, perhaps your one chance to experience what it is to make love—to truly be one with a gentleman—and now your chance is gone.

  Edward sighed, then dropped suddenly to his knees on the floor, prostrate at her feet.

  “Edward!”

  “I feel more passionately about you, Lady Letitia Cavendish,” Edward said calmly, “than anyone else I have ever met. Yes, I have bedded other women. I am not going to lie about it, Letty, but I will tell you this. I have bedded other women. I have not made love to them. I want to make love to you.”

  She could barely speak. “There is no difference.”

  “Yes, there is, and I should know,” he said calmly, still on his knees. “Trust me. Let me show you.”

  She wanted him in a way she had not known existed before tonight.

  “What is the difference?” she whispered.

  Edward smiled, and it was wicked and delicious. “Try not to be too loud.”

  Letitia could not help but laugh. “I do not think I have ever been accused of being too loud before in my—oh!”

  He had placed a hand on each of her knees and moved them apart with a hungry look on his face.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Something I have wanted to do for a long time. If you want me to stop, say. But you won’t.”

  His words did not make any sense, and she was just as bemused when Edward leaned forward, raised the skirts of her gown, and lifted them over his head.

  “Edward, what are you—Lord!”

  Letitia had never blasphemed, but she had never needed to before. Edward was slowly kissing up her inner thighs, and it was having such a wonderful effect on her body…

  “Edward?” she whispered, hardly able to watch his head move under her skirts but knowing, all of a sudden, where he was going. “Edward, I—oh!”

  His tongue had reached her secret place, and she spasmed at the intensity of the sensation—it was pure pleasure, but it was more than that. The intimacy of it all, his face right…there.

  She grasped the edge of the sofa as Edward’s tongue made a thorough exploration of her. Now she knew what he meant about being loud—the last thing she wanted was a servant running in here.

  She leaned back and tried to breathe, but the teasing kisses were driving her wild.

  “Edward, yes,” she whispered just loud enough for him to hear. “Oh, yes, oh—!”

  A climax made her entire body clench and rock as his tongue delved deeply into her.

  When Edward resurfaced, a broad smile on his face, Letitia hardly knew where to look.

  “I…I had no idea,” she panted, “such pleasure could exist.”

  “’Tis only the beginning.”

  It was impossible to breathe. “Beginning?”

  Edward grinned. “Take me to your bedchamber.”

  *

  She had never felt anything like that—but once her innocence was lost, it would be lost forever.

  Was she ready to lose it all to Edward?

  He made her feel such incredible things, but only ten minutes ago, he was admitting the countless women he had bedded.

  He was a rake, pure and simple. If anyone ever found out—if the news was ever public …

  No one would permit her to enter their homes. She would never be invited to another ball again.

  Letitia looked down at Edward and smiled as her heart softened. Wallflower or not, she was in love with him.

  Staying at home forever was not the end of the world. She was a Cavendish. She would go to the country and live a life of leisure, safe in the knowledge that she had, finally, been made love to by a wonderful man.

  “Well?” Edward prompted.

  She smiled. What was it that Harry had said?

  “I had to, Letitia, I just had to. It was impossible for Monty to see me any differently unless…unless I took drastic action.”

  Unable to trust her voice, she nodded.

  Edward jumped up, pulling her to her feet. “Quietly now.”

  He pulled her to the door, Letitia barely understanding how her legs could support her after so recently spasming with pleasure.

  Edward peered out.

  “Can you see anyone?” she whispered.

  He glanced at her with a smile. “No. Come on!”

  Opening the door, they crept into the hall, which was indeed empty. Letitia almost laughed aloud but stopped herself. This was insane—she had never done anything like this.

  The stairs were right beside the door, and they almost ran up to the next landing.

  “This way.” Letitia pulled him toward her bedchamber.

  The moment they shut the door, Edward pushed her up against it and kissed her deeply. She threw her arms around him—he was hers, and she would have him for at least this night. Perhaps longer. Was this, perhaps, the prelude to a proposal of marriage?

  “I want to see you come again,” Edward whispered as he kissed her neck.

  Letitia hesitated. “Come?”

  He chuckled as he nuzzled her décolletage. “Climax, orgasm. I have so much to teach you, Letty, and I cannot wait. But first…”

  One of his hands holding her so firmly against the door now descended, pulling up the skirts of her gown, and Letitia stared in wonder until her eyes widened with pleasure.

  His fingers were where his mouth had just been, and they were working a similar rhythm—soft but steady, driving her absolutely wild.

  “Edward,” she moaned, but he captured her words in his mouth and kissed her hard, keeping her quiet and teasing her even more as his fingers quickened the pace.

  How long was it—five minutes, more? Letitia could not tell. Soon, she was exploding around his fingers, her body tensing and shuddering as the pleasure once again overwhelmed her.

  “I did…I did not know of this love,” she panted, gazing into his eyes as Edward smiled. “I could not have imagined such feelings, such sensations.”

  His smile broadened. “And we are not there yet.”

  Allowing her skirts to fall, his fingers moved to the ribbons holding her gown together, and panic suddenly rushed through her body.

  “Stop!”

  She had not shouted, but the word was clear, and Edward immediately stepped back and broke the connection.

  “Are you—I am sorry, did I hurt you?” The concern in his eyes was genuine. “Letty, I should not have rushed you, I apologize—you must forgive me if…”

  Edward’s voice trailed away as he stared, clearly uncomfortable and unsure what to do next.

  “I-I do trust you,” she said. “But this…this is all new to me, Edward. We need to go slower.”

  He nodded. “You are in control, then. You take off what you are comfortable with.”

  She had never had many conversations with her female friends about lovemaking. All she had heard whispered by the matrons of society was about pain, discomfort, and allowing the gentleman to do what he needed to do.

  But this care, this consideration… She had expected thrusting and pain, and a little moment of joy for herself.

  Hearing Edward say aloud that he handed the control to her—that nothing would happen unless she was comfortable…

  He clearly cared about her. Perhaps more.

  But she could not think of that now. Her body was aching for more pleasure, and she would succumb, she knew she would. But not yet.

  Letitia slowly pushed Edward back until he reached the bed. A slight shove was enough to make him sit down.

  His smile froze as she carefully, without taking her eyes off him, started to pull gently at the ribbon holding her bodice together.

  “Christ, Letitia,” he groaned under his breath. “The things you do to me…”

  Just seeing the reaction in his eyes, seeing him fidget, knowing he wanted to touch her but denying him that right…

  It was glorious. It made her feel
the most powerful woman in the world.

  “Letty, you are the most beautiful woman.”

  She allowed her gown to fall to the carpet slowly.

  By the time she had stripped off her underslip, Edward had ripped off his own clothes and was sitting patiently. Any embarrassment in her nakedness was gone.

  “Are you ready for me?” she asked, hardly knowing what she was doing.

  Edward groaned. “Put me out of my misery.”

  Letitia stepped forward, out of reach of his questing fingers. He moaned again, and she giggled, shushing him.

  “The only way to shush me,” he growled, “is to kiss me.”

  He moaned as she kissed him. The thrill of experiencing every sensation at once: the feel of his chest on her breasts, his arms around her, his manhood hard and throbbing and pressed into her thigh—it was all too glorious.

  His wandering tongue had found her breasts, and in one movement had captured her nipple in his mouth. The teasing, wet sensation, along with the rubbing of his manhood against her, was almost enough to make her explode again.

  Edward stopped and looked up at her, eyes wide. “Are you ready?”

  She nodded.

  He lifted her as though she weighed nothing, laying her down on the bed and nestling between her as though he belonged there.

  Perhaps he did. Perhaps every moment of their lives, even the painful ones, had been leading up to this moment, this second where they loved each other.

  “Ready?”

  Letitia nodded and almost cried out when he entered her—but there was tightness, not pain. Edward held himself there, deep inside her, and she smiled nervously.

  “Is this—is this it, then? We have made love?”

  “Almost.”

  He drew out of her, almost completely, and thrust into her. Letitia gasped as a rush of delicious pleasure flashed through her.

  “Again,” she whispered, leaning up for a kiss.

  And she got what she wanted. Edward built the rhythm carefully, his lips possessing her, worshiping her, as he moved in and out of her faster and faster. Letitia barely knew where he ended, and she began, it was an experience so intimate.

  “Edward,” she began, breaking their kiss.

  He looked deep into her eyes, and she came, exploding around him. Then he found his pleasure.

  When it was over, he fell into her welcoming arms.

  Chapter Ten

  How long he had slept, Edward did not know. Time stood still.

  His rest had been deeper than he expected, considering it was not his bed. While that was not entirely unusual—after all, a rake could get tired and decide not to return home after a session with a new conquest—and this was a new bed for him.

  Edward smiled and looked over at the woman lying next to him, still fast asleep.

  Lady Letitia Cavendish.

  Far more wild and just as sweet as he had thought—and now those estimations were confirmed in the most delicious way.

  “Christ alive, Letty, put me out of my misery.”

  Edward shifted onto his back, eyes still fixed on her.

  He swallowed and forced down the rush of desire that swelled from his manhood to his heart. He should let her sleep. He had worn her out, after all, and she had earned her rest.

  Edward had always considered himself to have an eye for the ladies, able to pick from a crowd who would allow him a kiss by the staircase, and who would be happy to lead him up those stairs by the hand.

  But he could never have predicted what Letty had underneath those plain and boring gowns.

  Why did she never want to put herself forward? If any gentlemen knew how wild and free Letty was, well, she would already be a married woman, surely.

  God, he was getting hard thinking about her.

  His gaze traced the flow of her fiery hair that fell like a waterfall down her back and resisted the urge to reach out and touch her.

  All that beauty, and she was not proud or conceited. Letty was unlike anyone he had ever met. He could search the entire empire and never find another to match her.

  Edward looked around for a clock, but he could not see one. His clothes had been dropped to the floor in the heat of passion hours ago and could not be reached without disturbing Letty.

  The curtains were pulled across the high windows, but a crack of light poured through. It must be morning, just past sunrise.

  Edward bit his lip. When he bedded a lady, she knew not to expect to see him in the morning. He always intended to be gone before sunrise, all the better to avoid seeing parents, servants, and being spotted leaving the house.

  Awkward conversations had only been experienced twice, and even now, he winced. That moment discussing the weather with Lord Cramer’s butler, and that uncomfortable invitation to breakfast from Mrs. Pickering.

  Never again.

  But something pricked at his conscience as he glanced once more on the sleeping Letty. This was more than a mere bedding. They had made love. And after all, Lady Romeril’s dinners were notorious for being too long, and in many cases, she offered beds to her guests so they would not have to leave at four o’clock in the morning.

  Letty’s parents may not even be here. There was no chance of running into them on the stairs, but what about the servants?

  Perhaps he should leave now. That seemed safest.

  Just as Edward decided to, Letty turned in her sleep, coming to rest curled in a ball on her side with her breasts uncovered and a smile on her face.

  God, she was beautiful, but she was more than that. She made him want her attention, her conversation, her laughter.

  Last night gave him intense pleasure, but perhaps far more importantly, he gave her such pleasure. There had been a deep connection between them.

  “Edward?”

  He started, thoughts interrupted.

  “You are meant to be asleep,” he murmured, finally giving in to temptation and reaching out to touch her. “Go back to sleep, Letty. I will be here when you wake up.”

  How could he leave her now?

  A soft smile spread across her lips, and her eyelids fluttered sleepily—then snapped open.

  “You are—you are not a dream?” Pink tinged her cheeks.

  “Good morning, my darling.”

  The words felt natural. He had never spoken them to anyone else in his life, but they poured out from a place of deep affection.

  “You…I…I am not wearing anything!” Letty pulled the bedcovers up to her neck.

  There was only about six inches between them, and he closed it quickly, searing a kiss on her lips fueled by the memories of their passion hours ago—and the desire to repeat them.

  Letty returned his ardor, crawling into his arms. After several minutes of passionate kissing, they broke apart.

  “Not how I imagined I would wake up,” she whispered, her fiery hair a halo around her.

  He grinned. “But exactly how I wanted to.”

  Letty smiled shyly, her gray eyes sparkling. “I-I cannot believe what we did last night, Edward.”

  “Oh, I can…”

  “Shush!” She placed a hand over his mouth as she collapsed to his side in fits of silent giggles. “Edward, my parents are two rooms down!”

  The mention of her parents sobered him. “Nonsense, they dined with Lady Romeril. You said so yourself.”

  “Yes, I did, but they never accept her offer of overnight hospitality. They always come back here.”

  Without another word, she snuggled against him and rested a hand on his chest above his heart—which was now starting to race. If Letty was right, Lord and Lady Cavendish were home.

  Not two people he wanted to meet. What if Lady Cavendish was in the habit of greeting her daughter in the morning?

  “They probably only got in a few hours ago, and I do not want to wake them,” Letty murmured sleepily.

  She was exhausted, undoubtedly, after he had kept her up half the night.

  But panic, or at least discomfort,
was rising from his gut. If he had known, he would have disappeared hours ago.

  “Letty. Letty.”

  “Hmm?” She tilted her head to look into his eyes. “What?”

  He kissed the top of her head. “I have to go.”

  “Go?” There was immediate sadness in her tone.

  He nodded. “I cannot be found here. You must see that. I need to disappear down the servants’ staircase and—”

  “Oh, is that how you managed to get in?” A mischievous smile appeared on her face. “I did wonder.”

  “Yes, and that is where I will need to disappear.”

  Letty tightened her grip around him, and Edward luxuriated in the feeling of her soft skin. “Not now, though.”

  He once again glanced at the thin sliver of light pouring through the closed curtains.

  “Not immediately,” he conceded, tightening his embrace. “But soon, Letty. You may be asleep when I need to go, and I will not wake you. But do not think I wish to depart.”

  Why did the words stick in his throat? Why did he find it impossible to understand this feeling? Emotions rushed through his body and told him she was more to him than anything.

  “You will not be here when I wake up?”

  It took a few minutes for Letty’s breathing to return to sleep. He would give her a little more time and creep away like a thief in the night.

  What had he stolen? Her innocence, perhaps, but she had stolen something from him, too, and he could not understand it. Something of his heart would be left here with Letty, and she would always have it with her.

  How many young ladies had he left sleeping and spent under the bedcovers? But this was different. If he had known what this emotional connection did to him, perhaps he would have sought it earlier. He never thought he would feel this way, not after seeing how his mother had been treated by his father.

  His jaw tightened. The damage that man had done to his family…

  Letty had a way of making him forget all the misery.

  And this obsessive desire to keep her safe, to know her better, his jealousy over anyone who spent any sort of time with her—if that were not love, what could it be?

  Edward thought back to their wild passion, the unbridled exploration, the way she cried out when she experienced the height of pleasure he could give her.