Hazed

by Brittany Butler

  ****

  With an empty dorm, I saunter around the room in bliss. My auburn hair hangs down my back in bouncy curls and my face is made to perfection. After three wardrobe changes, I pull on the right one. The dark green dress falls to my knees. The sleeves run to my elbow but the neckline is cut low. I only agreed to this date because I want to forget about him, but I’m looking forward to it. I slide on nude heels and quickly change my purse as a knock hits the door.

  “You look gorgeous,” Corey tells me.

  He hands me roses, I smile and thank him. “Oh, I don’t have a vase.” I give him an apologetic look as I lay them on my bed.

  “No worries, maybe we can pick one up later.”

  He leads me to a shiny truck parked in front of the fire escape. A sign reads ‘No Parking’ in ugly red letters. He doesn’t open my door. Instead he walks ahead of me and gets in. I press my lips in a hard line, if Hayze Clarke opens the door for me, chivalry is not dead.

  “I made reservations at the new Italian place downtown. I hope that’s okay,” he says.

  “That sounds great. Italians great,” I say, cringing at how stupid I sound.

  “So, Hayze?” He eyes me.

  “Yeah?” I wrinkle my nose, fighting the urge to ask if he invited me on this date to talk about Hayze. He seems to enjoy bringing him up, which is weird. Maybe they had something happen in this past to make them hate each other.

  “You guys aren’t a thing? I’m just having a hard time believing that,” he laughs. “The only girls he lets hang around him are his sister and…Well, that about sums it up.”

  “He’s a good guy,” I tell him. My face is stern. He looks at me, amused, but doesn’t press the topic.

  The restaurant is packed; patrons line the porch outside. The lobby holds drunken guest, with drinks in their hand, they pass time until their table is ready. The hostess leads us to a table in the bar.

  “What can I get you two to drink?” The waitress asks, distracted. The bar booms with excitement, the dining area is stuffed with families as more shuffle through the doors.

  “I’ll just have water,” I say. She smiles and marks it on her pad.

  “You can do better than that,” he laughs. Corey scans the drink menu, clicking his tongue. “I’ll have a jack and coke, double, short glass.”

  “Impressive,” I say, sarcastically.

  “So, tell me about yourself. What brought you to ETU?”

  “I only live an hour away,” I say, pointing in the direction I think my hometown is in. “I wanted to be close to home,” I shrug my shoulders. I hope he doesn’t ask where I’m from, I hate admitting that I’m from the smallest town in the county.

  “I’m a local,” he says. He clasps his palms together, thinking. “Business major, thinking about law school, uh…graduate in the spring. I live in the frat house. What about you?” He’s so rushed, I feel like I’m speed dating.

  “Still kind of undecided…I started working at Mystic this semester, and I’m just wingin’ everything,” I say. He nods, unimpressed as he picks up the menu.

  Business major; I bring the rim of my glass to my mouth, hiding the growing smile on my face. A basket of bread slides across our table, I smile at the deliverer and watch, with raised brows, as Corey dips a piece into butter. The aroma of freshly baked garlic bread sent me in frenzy. As a distraction, I picked at the napkin in my lap.

  “What type of law will you go into?” I ask, my eyes are glued to the napkin.

  He chomps on bread, gulping down the remnants. “Defense; you sure you don’t have any clue? Everyone has some idea of what they want to do…What about when you were little?” With crossed arms, he leans against the booth, watching me with hawk eyes.

  “I always thought I wanted to be a teacher, like my mom. Now I’m kind of leaning toward being a nurse,” I say.

  “You and every other girl on campus,” he laughs. “So, how’d a girl like you get hooked up with Lea and Hayze?”

  “Lea’s my roommate,” I tell him, not elaborating further. I didn’t agree to this date to be asked question after question about Hayze. For one night I thought I could push him to the back of my mind, but like the annoying, persistent ass that he is, he always pops up.

  “I went to school with them,” he says. He tilts the amber liquid back, finishing the drink before sitting it on the table. “Hopefully you’re smart enough to not get involved with them.”

  The old Taylor sits somewhere behind my conscious, avoiding confrontation, as I palm the sweating glass before me, I know she’s long gone. “I consider Lea a good friend,” I say, calmer than expected.

  He shrugs, grinning. “All I’m saying is watch out. You should ask her about her little brothers and why they don’t live here anymore. Better yet, ask Hayze.”

  With my hands braced on the table, I prepare to stand. “I didn’t come here for this.”

  “Ah shit, I’ve pissed you off. Look, I’m sorry, just wanted to warn you. You seem like a nice girl, different from the others around here.”

  I nod. A moment of silence clings to our table. I focus on the bar, the group of people crowded in the foyer, and waitresses hustling by the table. Calloused palms circle around my wrists, pulling me back to my company.

  “Do you wanna order? Should I take you home? You tell me.” His cold blue eyes dance around my face, and his sympathetic smile almost wins me over.

  I shake my head. “I’m actually kind of tired, do you mind taking me back?”

  The corner of his mouth quirks, “Only if you promise me a second date,” he says.

  “Yeah, sure,” I lie

  With a victorious grin, he grabs my hand and leads me from the restaurant. On the drive home, he talked endlessly about his frat and the school he hopes to attend after graduation. I smiled and added feedback. I sighed with relief as he pulled in front of the dorm; I did a quick scan of the parking lot. I told myself I wasn’t looking for that black Mustang.

  I turned to face him, with a forced smile. “Goodnight.”

  His hands palm my face, pulling me to his. Thin, bird lips mashed into mine, forcing a kiss that shouldn’t have happened. His tongue slips in my mouth in sharp pecking motions, I pull back as he continued to molest my mouth with his overeager tongue. With raised palms, I pressed firmly against his chest; I fumbled for the door handle behind me and slowly eased it open. Still dazed from our kiss, he grins as I slid from the truck. I wave then fall into the darkness, with one foot in front of the other, I slumped to the building. My lips clamped, I cover them to keep from gagging.

  Having only kissed two guys, I thought bad kisses were a myth. My first boyfriend was awkward, neither of us knew what we were doing but somehow it worked. With Hayze it’s as if he was placed on this Earth to kiss. He touches me in a way I didn’t know I wanted to be touched; he always leaves me frustrated and wanting more. With a groan, I slam the door much harder than intended. I shoot an apologetic wave to the girl sitting crisscrossed on the floor, with her face absorbed in a book; she rolls her eyes without looking up.

  I throw my purse down and stomp my feet as I walk into my room. I flip on the light and scream as a figure rises from my bed. Lea turns in her bed, grunting in her sleep. Hayze pulls his finger to his lips and points to her.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I whisper, crossing the space between us.

  “My sister lives here.”

  “I call bullshit,” I seethe.

  He holds out his hands and rises to his feet. “Okay, so I wanted to see you?”

  His eyes rake down my body, his brows bunch together. “You look beautiful. Where have you been?”

  My eyes dart around the room, avoiding his hard glare. “Out with a friend.”

  “What friend? Did this friend get you the flowers?” He shoves his finger in the direction of the roses on my table.

  “Yeah, it was nothing,” I say.

  Anger flares in his eyes. He exhales and pinches the bride of his nose.
“After you made a big fucking deal about cheating,” he says, pacing the floor.

  “I didn’t cheat on you! It seems like you forgot we aren’t even together!”

  His eyes snap to me as he closes the space between us. “So, you are telling me if I went out on a date with another girl, you’d be okay with that?”

  I look down at my feet.

  “Answer me,” he demands.

  “No! I wouldn’t be okay with that! Are you happy now?” With my fists balled at my side, I meet his glare.

  “Far fucking from it! Who was it?”

  My eyes widen. “What?”

  “Who. Was. It.” He stresses each word through clenched teeth.

  “You don’t know him, just a guy from class,” I say.

  He folds his arms, smirking. “Try me, I grew up here and I have worked at the busiest bar in town for two years.”

  “Corey.” I’m almost positive he didn’t hear me. I could hear a pen drop in the next room. This wasn’t the reaction I expected. Finally, he looks at me his are eyes wide, he tugs on his hair in frustration.

  “Oh, just that guy?” He laughs once, “The one that mauled you in the bar?”

  “He put his arm around me, I think you are overreacting a little,” I say.

  “Have you lost your damn mind?”

  “Obviously!” I shout at him, making a point of gesturing to him with my eyes.

  “Did he touch you?”

  I drop my head in my hands, wishing he would let this go. “Hayze,” I warn.

  “No, Taylor, humor me. What did you do on this date?” His cold eyes hold mine, I open my mouth to say something, but I stop. It’s not like I wanted the kiss to happen. “Remember our first date, Taylor? Did history repeat itself?”

  “Are you suggesting I slept with him?” I yell, forgetting Lea’s asleep in her bed. “He kissed me! And I left after that!”

  Since he was expecting the worst, I thought he would be relived. Instead, my roses are sent flying across the room, along with everything else that was on my desk. The room is dark, so I don’t know where the glass shatters came from. I shake my head, keeping my eyes fixed on the floor. When I look up, my eyes find his, my stomach falls with regret.

  “I’m sorry, Hayze” I whisper. “After the hospital thing I just, I didn’t know where we stand and that guy asked.”

  “If you would just ask you wouldn’t have to question that. C’mon Taylor, I told you it wouldn’t happen again.” His jaw is clenched, but he keeps his temper in check and doesn’t yell.

  “How am I supposed to know that?” I stalk away from him. I tear my dress from my body, kick my heels off and pull a t-shirt over my head.

  His brows shoot up. “You’re turning this around on me?”

  I throw the covers back and lay in my bed, hoping he’ll get the point and leave. When he crawls beside me, I bawl my hands into fist and slam my hands beside me.

  “I’m not turning this around! You started this entire thing. I worried all night about you and it didn’t help that everyone in the damn world seemed to know what was going on except me! And you still won’t even tell me the truth!”

  “I told you what happened, Taylor.” His voice remains neutral.

  I prop on my elbows and look him straight in the eye. “I think you are lying,” I say.

  He watches me then looks to the left. “Well, I’m not.”

  “I think you should leave, Hayze.”

  “I’m not going anywhere until we figure our shit out!”

  “You lied to me and I went out with another guy. There. Done,” I say as I throw my hands in the air.

  His eyes narrow. He shakes his head. “Not done. I’m not leaving you while you are this mad.”

  “Oh, yes you are! I’m always mad when you’re around! I think I sense a pattern.” I grab his arm and pull him to the door.

  His shoulders relax. He slips his fingers around my hand. “Look we’ve both said some shit we don’t mean, let’s just sleep it off and talk tomorrow,” he says.

  I open the door and slowly push him out. “Great idea,” I say.

  His foot catches the door as I try to close it. “Goodnight, Hayze.”

  He sighs, exasperated and throws his hands up. “I meant sleep it off together…”

  A dozen thoughts swim in my mind, threatening to spew out. I hate you. Get the hell out of my room, indefinitely. I can’t think straight when I’m around you.

  He watches me intently; he bends his arm and rests it against my open door. With my arms crossed, I stand up straighter. “My mind’s made,” I say.

  I place my hand on his chest to guide him from my door. I close the door and walk back to my bed. As I lay down, he knocks on the door. Groaning, I shove my ear buds in my ears to drown him out.

  I press shuffle and breeze through each song suggestion. Tonight, all songs speak to me. As my indifference subsides, I skip tunes that remind me of him. When Make Damn Sure by Taking Back Sunday creeps onto the screen, I freeze. I listen to the words and start the song once more. Each second that ticks by, my chest grows heavy. Although I’m alone, I can feel Hayze’s stare boring into me within the lyrics. And I know he won’t ever leave me alone.