by A. M. Brooks
Before shutting the door behind them, they asked again if I was sure I didn’t want to go with them to see the movie. Politely declining, I explained I was going to a friend’s house for the night. Satisfied with my story, they left. I locked the door, slumping against it, as I listened to Jodi’s vehicle drive away. One glance at my phone showed zero messages or calls from Darrian. I had about half an hour until six when he told me he would be here. I ran up to my room to change while I waited.
Darrian was half an hour late. I wracked my brain trying to figure out if there was a way I had broken the exclusivity rule. I didn’t remember seeing anyone we knew at the restaurant earlier either. Wondering if he maybe just forgot he was supposed to come here, I decided to shoot Lily a quick text.
Me: Hey! How’s the party? Is Darrian there?
...
Lily: Hey girl! Where are you? No, Darrian is not here yet. I thought you were riding with him? Everyone else is here though.
Me: Be there soon ☺
I picked up my keys to leave when my phone started vibrating. Darrian.
“Hey,” I answered.
“Babe?” he asked loudly into the phone. I could hear music and laughter in the background.
“Yeah,” I said raising my voice. “I’m here.”
“Hey, sorry, I just saw the time. I didn’t realize it was that late.” He sounded out of breath.
“It’s okay,” I said, not wanting to make a big deal of it. We weren’t in a relationship. “Are you on your way now?” I asked.
“Ah,” he said. “Well, that’s the thing. I’m kind of fucked up. Do you think you can come get me?”
Confused I asked him, “Aren’t you at Ethan and Elijah’s?”
“I was earlier,” he explained. “Then Roman was having some people over and I decided to do that ‘til it was time to pick you up.”
“Oh,” I said. “So, you need me to pick you up from Roman’s?”
“Yeah, is that okay?” he asked.
“I don’t know where he lives.” I blew out my breath. I didn’t say Roman gives me the creeps even though I wanted to.
“I’ll text you the address,” he said before the line dropped. I stood there looking at my phone realizing something wasn’t adding up and didn’t feel right. I tried pushing the worry out of my mind though when two seconds later Darrian had sent me the address. I climbed into the SUV and drove to the other side of the city to Roman’s.
Roman’s house was nothing compared to Darrian’s or the twins’ home. The house was nestled back away from neighbors with a long driveway. Having some people over seemed like an understatement. There was a detached garage and several cars lined the yard or were parked in front of the house. Darrian’s Jeep was off to the side away from the other cars. Loud rap music could be heard coming from the house, a single family style home that had seen better days. I was about to call Darrian when he stepped out the front door. He and Roman did a fast handshake before he headed over to me. Roman watched as Darrian got in. When our eyes connected, he just stared at me before going back inside. I shivered.
“Hey,” Darrian said, leaning over to kiss my cheek. He smelled minty with a tinge of cigarette smoke lingering, and not at all like alcohol.
“Hi,” I replied as I backed out of the driveway. I had programmed Mikayla’s address into my Maps before leaving.
“Are you mad?” he asked while taking a piece of my hair and swirling it around his fingers.
“I’m not mad,” I told him while maneuvering us back onto the freeway. “I’m just confused.”
He laughed loudly. “Confused about what?”
“How you ended up at Roman’s,” I said.
“I told you already. Can you drop it please?” He sounded angry.
“Fine,” I replied back. Irritated at his mood, I turned the radio up. Both of us were silent as I drove the rest of the way to Mikayla’s. We were the last ones there, everyone else’s vehicles were already lining the road when we pulled up. I took off my seatbelt and really looked at Darrian for the first time since he got in my car. We made eye contact and I noticed how black his eyes were, not their normal pale grey. His pupils were dilated and large. He looked anxious as his knee bobbed up and down, the muscle in his jaw tightening.
“What did you take?” I asked, keeping my voice low.
“What?” he asked, trying to laugh it off.
“Your pupils are huge, you can’t stop moving, you said you were fucked up, but you don’t smell like alcohol,” I listed off.
“It’s nothing,” he said, shaking his head.
“Darrian—”
I started, but he cut me off. “Nora, it’s nothing, okay?” He got out of the car and I followed him.
“It is,” I said, standing right in front of him stopping him from going inside.
“Look, I just tried some new stuff that Roman knows about. It’s supposed to help with energy and concentration for basketball. It’s not illegal.” He shook his head at me.
“But Roman does sell illegal drugs too,” I pointed out to him.
“Maybe.” He shrugged. “But I don’t use it. I just need some extra help the next few weeks for finals and state.”
“It’s not illegal though?” I asked again.
“No,” he said. I stepped closer breathing him in and wrapping my arms around his waist. I felt him stiffen.
“I’m sorry okay, I - just the way you look...I was worried,” I told him honestly.
“I’m fine, I promise,” I heard him say as he finally wrapped his arms around me too. We stayed like that for a while before pulling apart. He took my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze before we went inside. I decided to drop the topic for the night. Our friends were having a great time and even I had to admit that Mikayla knew how to throw a good Friendsgiving. I didn’t want to bother him, but I was still worried. Darrian didn’t need performance enhancers. He played amazing. I just wished he could see that for himself.
I stared at the page the History teacher had laid down in front of me moments ago. Red marks dotted their way down the answer column. The letter F was circled at the top and a note was written off to the side “See me after class.” I sat waiting while the hour ticked by. I couldn’t remember if I had ever failed a test in any of my classes. By the time the bell rang, I waited for everyone else to file out before approaching the teacher. Up until today, I had liked Mr. Brusk. He was a younger teacher and was actually enthusiastic about history.
“Nora,” he said, nodding at me as I approached his desk.
“Mr. Brusk.” I raised my paper frowning. “I don’t understand.”
“Nora, did you look through your answers again?” he asked, pointing at the paper. I looked down and studied the first question.
“Idea that the United States should get involved in world affairs,” I read aloud while he watched me. “My answer was...oh... the Civil War.”
“What should the answer be, Nora, based on the timeline and where we are at in our book?” he asked quietly.
I stood frozen trying to remember the last time I looked at my History book. I paid attention in class except for the past few days with everything going on with Darrian. I shrugged my shoulders feeling stupid.
“Look, Nora, you’re a bright student. Up until the past month you were doing great. The past few quizzes and now the midterm test, you haven’t done well on,” he said.
“Am I going to fail?” The thought really freaked me out. I always tried hard in school knowing I needed better than a good GPA to get into the college of my choosing.
“Not yet,” Mr. Brusk stated, going behind his desk to pull my grades on his computer. He frowned. “Your grade has dropped though significantly. If you don’t get higher than a C- on the next quiz, you’ll dip into a D. The final is a month away and is sixty percent of your grade. If you don’t pass that, you will fail the class, Nora.”
“Oh,” I said quietly. I really had not thought my grades were that bad. “Um, can you pull
all my current class grades from there?” I asked.
“Sure,” he said before typing away. A second later the whine of the printer sounded, and he handed me my grades for the semester. I felt my face get paler as I scanned the letters. D- in algebra, C- in History, C+ in Gym, B- in Spanish, D+ in Science, and a D in English. How I was almost failing English was beyond me when it was the easiest out of my classes.
“Like I said, Nora,” Mr. Brusk broke through my train of thought. “You are a smart girl. I know you can do better.”
I nodded, unable to speak as I picked up my book before walking out of his classroom.
Panic was gripping onto me as I walked to algebra. I had to graduate and have at least a 3.0 to get into UCLA or even UNC. Right now, I was barely floating a 2.0. I folded the page and shoved it into my jean pocket. My mind went over the past few weeks that all seemed like a blur. I felt I was constantly in a tug of war with Darrian. He could snap at someone one second then go right back to being normal. This was occurring so often I felt the constant need to be around him to bring him back when he was flying off the handle.
Ethan had tried asking me about it and I had lied about Darrian’s dad being on his case. I knew he was continuing to use the supplement from Roman during his games. From the reactions of others, I was the only one who knew this information. To him, he played with more focus and determination. I honestly didn’t notice a difference in his game but noticed that after the game the effects lasted into the night. He was full of energy hours after playing and wouldn’t fall asleep until between three and four in the morning. How he was surviving school the next day was a mystery to me and maybe that explained his mood swings. I knew I was barely surviving on caffeine and trying to get to bed earlier on other nights of the week.
We’d also been partying more and more lately which was not my scene, but I also wanted to be with Darrian. He was insistent that I come and the attention felt good. He was wanting me around and things were exactly how he said they would be. We weren’t labeled boyfriend and girlfriend, but it sure felt that way. He walked me to my classes when he could, held my hand anytime we were together and usually he spent the night at my house since my dad still wasn’t around much, or we stayed at the yacht. Most of the time the parties were at Darrian’s house except a few times we were at Roman’s. When we went to Roman’s none of the others were there or even invited from what I knew. Lily always gave me a warning look when I mentioned we were going to Roman’s. I knew he was bad news and while I hadn’t seen it first-hand, I knew he was supplying Darrian with the supplement. So far Roman had been decent to me as in he usually ignores me or calls me ‘King’s girl.’ I didn’t mind though. I went with one purpose and that was to make sure Darrian was okay.
After the final bell, I couldn’t wait to escape the school. I was feeling ashamed and worried. College was my dream for stability and finally making my own way. After grabbing my stuff from my locker, I walked to the senior hallway to find Darrian like I always did. Before I reached him, I noticed Mikayla also standing at his locker. She was smiling like the Cheshire Cat when Darrian handed her a folded piece of paper. As I got nearer, Mikayla left without acknowledging me which I was used to.
“What was that all about?” I asked, shifting my bag across my body.
“What? Mik?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.
“Yeah, what did she want?” I asked.
“Just stuff about Roman’s get-together tonight,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
“She’s coming?” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah. What’s the big deal?” His eyes squinted back at me.
“Nothing,” I said, looking down at the floor. “I just didn’t realize they were friends.”
He shrugged again before shutting his locker. He took my hand in his as we exited the school.
“Is anyone else going tonight?” I asked once we got to his Jeep.
“Everyone, actually,” he said smiling.
“Really?” That was weird considering it never happened.
“Guess he wants a big turn out.” Darrian shrugged his shoulders.
I stayed quiet, processing everything from the day. I had been ready to bow out of tonight in order to get some homework done and study until I had seen the smirk on Mikayla’s face. I wanted to know what she was up to. On the other hand, with everyone else going I knew Darrian would be okay and Lily would tell me if anything crazy happened.
“I’m not going tonight,” I announced suddenly. He glanced at me.
“Why not?” he questioned, his face starting to close off.
“Don’t do that,” I groan, frustrated. “I failed my history quiz, Darrian. I haven’t been studying and I’m barely keeping up a decent grade average.”
“It’s one test. Can you retake it?” He sounded annoyed.
“No,” I said, letting my voice get louder. “I can’t just retake a test because I did badly. If that was the case, all students would be asking for retakes any time they failed.”
“Just explain to Mr. Brusk what’s been going on,” he said, getting frustrated.
“What?” I asked. “‘Sorry Mr. Brusk I was at a party again and couldn’t study.’ It doesn’t work that way for us peasants, Darrian.” I shook my head. Anger was boiling in my veins. His eyes narrowed more.
“No,” he snapped. “How about ‘I’ve been worried that my dad isn’t home all the time and I’ve been avoiding reality.’”
My mouth opened and closed twice before I could answer. His jaw ticked as I stared at the side of his face. “Fuck you,” I spat out before turning toward my window. I was shaking with rage.
“You already do that, baby,” he answered back. When we reached my house, I was ready to leap out the door, but he grabbed my arm first, pulling me back.
“When are you going to talk about it?” he asked, grabbing my jaw to look at him.
“When are you going to admit you’re only going to Roman’s to score his amped-up enhancers?” I threw back in his face and watched as the rainbow of emotions crossed his features.
“I already told you it’s not illegal.” Darrian’s hands left my face and wrapped around the steering wheel. “I just need this ‘til the season is over, Nora. You know what’s riding on this season.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I said, swallowing back tears. “If you don’t play good you won’t get recruited and you won’t be in the NBA then you’ll have to do business and take over for your dad.” I’d heard it so many times. Pills were never good even if they were meant to help you. My fingers brushed the tears that were falling.
“I know you don’t like it,” he acknowledged. “It’s almost over, then everything will be fine.”
I hiccupped.
“Where is your dad?” he asked quietly.
I shrugged. “Client-based training,” I replied trying to keep in the emotions.
“Come tonight,” he said after a minute. I shook my head. “Come with me tonight and we’ll study this weekend. You won’t fail, Nora. UCLA is still an option for you. You’re only a junior.”
I let out my breath trying to calm myself. “We’ll study this weekend? You’ll stay in with me?” I asked quietly.
“We’ll stay in. I’ll quiz you on your flashcards.” He smiled at me with that side smile, my favorite and I think he knew it.
“Okay,” I said, breathing deeply as the last of the tears on my cheeks were swiped away.
“Okay.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and we both got out. At the door, Darrian pulled me into a hug, kissing the side of my head. “It’s going to be okay,” he said again. Nodding, I let us in. I ran upstairs to change for tonight. I heard Darrian using the microwave as the smell of pizza rolls floated up to me. Quickly grabbing my jacket, I met him in the kitchen where he sat devouring his own plate of rolls while mine sat next to him. The bottle of ranch on the other side. I smiled at how well he knew me.
“Better?” he asked as I poured the ranch onto the plate.
“Bet
ter,” I echoed before shoving a whole piece in my mouth. He laughed, and everything really did feel better again.
“I’m sorry,” I told him after finishing half the plate. “I shouldn’t take my personal shit out on you.”
He shrugged. “It’s what we do, Nora. Then we make up and make each other better.” His fingers trace down the side of my face. “We better get going,” he said, checking his watch. “Elijah texted me a couple minutes ago that they were leaving already.”
“Ready.” I climbed off the stool before shoving the last roll in my mouth. Darrian laughed again before placing his plate in the sink next to mine. I was happy that even if I was going tonight at least Ethan, Elijah, and Lily would be there. Hopefully I’d feel more at ease in Roman’s home this way. I must have shivered again thinking about it because Darrian threw his arm around me as we walked back out to his Jeep.
“What is going on?” Lily grabbed my arm the minute we arrived at Roman’s and pulled me to the side. I winced at her concerned expression.
“Which part?” I asked, trying to brush it off. Darrian’s business was his own, but I didn’t like the way my best friend could read what was happening. Worse to see the disappointment in her eyes mirroring my own.
“Roman’s? Really?” she asked, scoffing.
“How did you guys end up here tonight anyway?” I asked. “We’ve been here a few times but never has Darrian invited anyone else.” I looked around to make sure no one was listening. Darrian had thankfully kept walking when Lily pulled me away. Elijah and Roman were now with him laughing like they were all old friends. Ethan stood off to the side though watching everyone around him. He looked worried too.
“Because I avoid Roman’s parties,” Lily stated as if it was common knowledge. “He’s not good news, Nora.” She shook her head.
I shrugged again. “Darrian’s friends with him, he’s been decent so far.”
Lily rolled her eyes. “At least the other guys are here. I heard this place has been shot at and the cops have been here many times.”
