by Tina Saxon
“No,” she says, her voice vibrating. She pushes me away as a blush creeps up her cheeks.
I wink. “Sweetheart, I’m sleeping on the couch. This is too far away from you and Lexi.”
She turns to walk away. “You can figure it out, I’ll see you in the morning.” I watch her sexy ass sway, and I’d bet a million dollars that she’s swaying a little more right now, knowing I’m watching.
“So gorgeous,” I whisper.
She stops in the doorway, looks over her shoulders, and blows me a kiss. I don’t want to look like a fool and act like I grab it, but I want to.
My alarm goes off way too early for me. I set it to vibrate, hoping not to wake up Lexi. I lie in bed a little longer, staring at the ceiling. I blow out my cheeks letting out a silent breath, thinking about last night. So my body definitely isn’t broken.
It still feels.
It still reacts.
It still wants.
And it all begins and ends with Aiden. But I’m scared. Scared that when he touches me, I’ll go back to that hell. That my mind will take me prisoner again. It would ruin me. Ruin us.
I shake the thoughts from my head. I can’t think about that right now. I look over to Lexi, sleeping peacefully. She woke up once last night, screaming “no” over and over. It’s something I’m used to, but Aiden, he about had a heart attack running in here, gun drawn ready to attack. I silently giggle, remembering it.
Noise in the living room reminds me that I should be getting up. I slip on my robe and walk out of my room. I’m startled and let out a small scream at the sight of a man who isn’t Aiden. It’s not even light enough outside to brighten my living room and only the kitchen light is on. My reaction happens before I notice that it’s Max. I pick up a pillow from my couch and hit him with it.
“Geez, you scared the crap out of me.”
“Not my fault you’re jumpy,” he says jokingly, but he winces as soon as he says it. “Sorry,” he says, stuffing his pockets with his hands.
“It’s okay. I just wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
“Addie, what happened?” A small voice behind me asks. I turn to Lexi, and she’s rubbing her eyes. When she puts her hands down she sees Max.
“MAX!” she screams, running into his arms. He picks her up and throws her into the air. When he’s done, her little arms wrap around his neck.
“Hey, Lulu. I heard you had a rough day yesterday,” he says, squeezing her. His enormous arms almost hide all of her. I think Max loves Lexi as much as she loves him. It makes me see Max in a totally different light. He has a soft side that only Lexi brings out. It’s sweet.
She lays her head on his shoulder. “Yes, a bad guy tried to take me,” she murmurs. Her head shoots up, looking him in the eyes, “But I got his DAN.” She looks at me, twisting her lips and then looks back to Max. “I got his DNA. It made my hand hurt until I washed it off. I don’t like DNA on me,” she whines.
“Good girl.” Max chuckles. “Hey, do you like banana bread?”
Lexi’s face beams and mine … well, mine frantically looks around because where there is banana bread is where I’ll find my drink. When I spot it on the counter, I run straight to it. Max watches me suck half down in one sip and his eyes widen. I shrug and laugh.
“My mommy makes really good banana bread,” Lexi says as Max walks over to the kitchen with her. He looks at me, unsure what to say.
“I bet your mommy’s banana bread is a lot better than this store bought one,” I say, taking out a slice of the bread and handing a piece to her. “When I was little, my mommy and I used to make brownies.”
“Do you miss your mommy? I miss my mommy.” Her bottom lip sticks out.
“Every day, sweet girl.” My voice cracks with emotion. It gets me every time she asks about her mom. I glance at Max and his eyes gloss over. He looks away quickly. Yeah, Max, even big manly men like you can’t escape the emotional tug when it comes to Lexi.
The front door opens with Aiden and Damon strutting in. Aiden’s eyes meet mine, and he flashes a sexy, half grin, displaying a dimple. The one that always makes me melt.
“Aiden, I got banana bread.” Lexi holds out a piece for him to see.
“Let me see that. I need to make sure it’s not bad.”
“It’s not bad,” she says, looking at it while she holds it out.
Aiden walks over, holds her arm up, and acts like he’s inspecting it. “Hmm … I don’t know.” Suddenly he eats the piece of banana bread right out of her hand.
Lexi squeals. “Hey, that’s mine!”
“Do you want it back,” he asks and then opens his mouth.
“Yucky.” She wrinkles her little nose. I agree, that’s gross. He finishes chewing the bite and says, “Well, you’re right, it’s definitely not bad.” He pulls her out of Max’s arms, tickling her. She giggles and wiggles right out of his grasp.
Grabbing the rest of her banana bread, she narrows her eyes at Aiden and says, “Mine.”
Everyone laughs. She climbs the barstool, but struggles to get to the top. Damon gives her a hand.
“Hey, Lulu,” he says, sitting her on the stool.
“Hey, Peter Pan,” she giggles.
Max and Aiden both look at each other and throw their heads back, laughing. “Lexi, I thought we agreed, not Peter Pan. I’m a Lost Boy,” he says, standing tall. Lexi thinks Sydney looks like Tinkerbell, too. Damon came over with Sydney one day so Lexi thought they were together. She started calling him Peter Pan after that. He tried his hardest to get her to call him a Lost Boy instead, but it seems Peter Pan stuck.
She just shakes her head as she pops another piece of bread in her mouth. The guys continue to laugh and Damon flips them off. I’m standing back, adoring the camaraderie with Lexi and the guys, enjoying my drink and the bread. A little girl having three very large men wrapped around her finger is entertaining.
“I think I should check your bread, too,” Aiden says, walking up to me. I smile as I break off a piece and put it up to Aiden’s mouth. Instead of snatching it like he did Lexi’s, he sticks my entire two fingers in his mouth, sucking them as I pull them out. Heat spreads through me instantly. He flashes a sexy grin and winks.
“You’re not supposed to eat her fingers, Aiden,” Lexi exclaims.
“Yeah, Aiden,” I say sarcastically as I wipe off my fingers with the napkin I’m holding.
“I was just making sure it was good.” He leans overs and whispers in my ear, “And it was fucking delicious.” I notice Lexi hop off the barstool behind Aiden, and I look up at him pursing my lips. “She’s getting the jar, isn’t she?” I nod, putting my hand over my mouth to stifle my laugh. “Damn, she’s got good hearing.”
She stands in between us. “That’ll be two dollars.” She holds up the jar.
“Two?” His eyes start to move around as he tries to recall when he said two bad words. I mouth damn to remind him. “That is not a bad word,” he replies.
“Aiden, you won’t win. Just pay her.” Max chuckles.
After Aiden reluctantly pays her, I tell her to get dressed because we’re going on a trip.
Her eyes go wide. “Are you taking me far away from the bad guy?”
I bend down and grab her hands. “Yes, very far away. We are going on a plane.” Her eyes get even bigger. “Have you ever been on a plane?” I ask, wondering if she’s scared.
“Nope. Are we going to Disneyland?” she excitedly asks. Why the hell does she think we’re going to Disneyland? When I don’t answer her right away, she continues. “My friend went on a plane and she went to Disneyland.”
“Sorry, sweet girl, we’re not going to Disneyland.”
Her shoulders slump. “Oh.” She sighs. Holy shit, how do parents deal with letting their kids down?
“But you’ll have fun where we’re going. You get to meet my aunt in Texas.” My words are rushed as I swing her little hands.
“Is she nicer than my aunt?” she asks. That is definitely a yes. I sti
ll can’t believe what a bitch Lexi’s aunt was. It’s horrible to say because she’s dead now, but wow.
“She will love you, Lexi. And she has horses, cows, and chickens. You will have so much fun,” I say excitedly. I know I’m exaggerating how much fun she’ll have, hoping to make her forget about Disney. “Oh, and we’re going on Max’s airplane.”
She whips around to Max and runs to him. He swoops her up in his arms. “You have a plane?” she asks. It’s so cute how animated little girls can be.
“Yep.”
She puts both her hands on Max’s cheeks and puts her face right up to his. They are touching nose to nose.
“Can you take me to Disneyland?” She stares into his eyes. So much for trying to get her to forget.
“Lulu, for you, I’ll take you anywhere.” She screams and wraps her hands around his neck. I narrow my eyes at Max and cross my arms. He must understand why I’m irritated because he adds, “But not this trip. You need to go to Amy’s house this time.”
She looks at him. “Okay. But do you pinky promise you’ll take me to Disneyland?” He looks at me, tilts his head, and shrugs. I shrug back, not having a clue.
“Lulu, I don’t know what that means.”
She sticks her pinky out and says, “You have to wrap your pinky with mine and promise you’ll take me to Disneyland.”
He does as she says, and then she runs to the bedroom to get dressed. I look at Max and giggle. “You’re such a pushover.”
“There is no way in hell that I’d be able to tell that little girl no. Those eyes are like voodoo, it’s fu…” he stops himself, “…freaking ridiculous.”
We all laugh, glancing at her bad-word jar. I doubt she ever had that much money in her jar from home. We’re so bad.
“Well, brother, looks like we’re all going to Disney after this,” Aiden says, getting off the couch, slapping Max on the back.
Our flight takes off smoothly leaving Austin. I peek over at Addison while she’s looking through her case files. I wish she would’ve stayed with Lexi. I could tell that she wanted to. It pained me to hear Lexi cry when Addison told her we were leaving. I’m thankful to Max that he stayed behind. He wanted to make sure security was all set in place around the ranch. At least that was his excuse. I’m sure part of him staying had to do with Lexi feeling better. I’ve never seen Max become so soft around someone, let alone a five-year-old child. It’s surprising.
“Where are they with the DNA test?” I ask to break the silence looming around us.
“They put a rush on it. Hopefully we’ll have it back tonight or tomorrow,” she says, looking up. There are moments of silence before she speaks again. “I’m glad Max stayed.”
“Me too.” I’m not sure why there’s this awkwardness between us right now. It dawns on me that this is the first time we’ve truly been alone since I got back yesterday. There is so much we need to talk about, but I know this is definitely not the time.
We’re about an hour away from landing, and I’m getting nervous. My leg shakes and I have my arms on the armrests with my fingers pointed on my lips. Just thinking about Addison being here already has my anxiety spiking. She looks over at my fidgeting with a questioning look.
“So, your place or mine?” I spit out.
“What are you talking about?”
“Tonight. Your place or mine?” I repeat.
She looks at me with a blank expression. “Um, I’m going back to my place and since Lexi isn’t with me, you don’t need to stay.” She looks right into my eyes. Rejection fucking stings.
“Addison, I don’t think you should be alone.”
She sighs. “Aiden, I’ll be fine. I already know you have Stone parked outside my building, so why are you freaking out?” Why can’t Max keep his mouth shut?
“Why am I freaking out?” I grind out. “Maybe after what happened to you, you should be a little more freaked out.” I flip my seat belt release button, needing to stand up.
“Are you serious?” She stands up right in front of me. “I’m trying to live my life not in fear of everything because of what happened to me, and I’ve worked really hard to get to that place. I don’t need a daily reminder of it from you,” she snaps.
“What am I supposed to do, Addison? I can’t function thinking that you might be in the crosshairs of a sick bastard. Again.” I throw my hands in the air.
She takes a step back from me. “I don’t know why I thought we might have a chance,” she mumbles quietly.
My spine straightens. “What are you talking about? Because I’m worried about you, we won’t work? Did I miss something, Addison?” I step forward, needing to be closer to her, but she steps back again. Panic fills my eyes.
“That’s exactly why,” she says, briefly looking away, wrapping her arms around her stomach. “You’re too emotionally attached to my wellbeing that you’ll always be worried about my safety.”
“Let’s pretend what happened didn’t, I’d still be worried about your safety because I love you,” I explain.
She twists her lips, thinking about how to respond. “Aiden, too much has happened between us. You won’t know how to let it go. You’ll always be overprotective of me. And that’s understandable, but that’s not what I need in my life right now.” She stalls for a moment. “I can’t live in the past. If you are constantly worried about me, that’s exactly where I’ll stay.” Her voice shakes with emotion as tears run down her face.
Her words shoot straight to my heart. Like a fucking spear. I’m at a loss of what to say. The airplane shakes from turbulence. I think it’s from the weight of my heart breaking into pieces. Again.
“Please take your seat as we make our final descent into LaGuardia,” the pilot’s voice comes over the intercom. Addison turns around and sits down quietly and buckles her seat belt. My hands go to my temples. I can’t even comprehend how we got here in just a few minutes. The plane shakes again, reminding me that I need to sit down. I take a seat across from Addison. She stares out the window the rest of the flight.
By the time we land, anger has taken over my confusion. I slam my bag down as I watch her gather her stuff. I’ve taken two bullets since I’ve met Addison, and I’d take more to keep her safe. And that’s the reason we shouldn’t be together? Well then, I suck at this relationship thing.
As we walk off the plane, silence follows. I don’t even look her way when I sarcastically say, “I’m taking you home, but don’t worry, I won’t go in.”
“Aiden, I don’t want you to be mad at me.” She grips my arm.
“I really don’t know what you want from me,” I say, flexing my jaw, looking off into the distance. “You don’t want me to love you. You don’t want me to be mad at you. You don’t want me to worry about you. Tell me, Addison, what the hell do you want from me?” I stop in the middle of the tarmac and pin her with my stare.
“You could be a little more understanding,” she whispers and then looks down.
“Well, that goes both ways, sweetheart,” I say with anger, walking away, leaving her standing there. I close my eyes as my shoulders drop, and I let out a heavy breath. I’m a bastard. I turn around to apologize, but she’s already walking in the direction of another hangar. I throw my head back, staring up at the sky. Why didn’t anyone warn me about this shit when you fall in love? I might have tried to avoid it a lot longer.
I laugh at myself over thinking that was even an option. The second I laid eyes on Addison, I knew something had changed in me. My heart started beating to a different tune that day.
When I look back at Addison, she’s almost to the hangar. I take off, sprinting to catch her. “I said I was taking you home,” I say out of breath when I catch up to her.
She ignores me as she keeps walking. I shake my head and curse under my breath. I follow a few steps behind her into the hangar. She stops and looks around.
“You’d make this so much easier on yourself if you’d just walk to my car so I could take you home,” I say, my voi
ce laced with humor. She continues to ignore me, walking toward a couple of men.
“Excuse me, do y’all have a phone I could borrow? My phone died and I need to call a taxi,” she asks in her sweet, southern voice. The guys look at her and then at me. I smirk and slightly shake my head no at them. I’m thankful right now that Addison can’t see me.
“Sorry, our phones are having issues today. They’re not working,” one of the guys says and shrugs. Addison turns enough so she can see me.
“How convenient,” she grits out, narrowing her eyes at me. I shrug innocently. She turns back to the guys who are trying to hide their smile. She sighs out of frustration. “Whatever. All you guys are assholes,” she says, stomping toward the exit, waving her hands around.
The guys chuckle as I pass by. “Good luck with that, Aiden.”
I laugh. “Thanks for your help guys,” I say over my shoulder, jogging to catch up with Addison again. I laugh again, thinking that Max will get a kick out of that. The Smith brothers have been our friends for a long time.
When I catch up with Addison, she’s already walking toward my car.
Thank God.
Not a word is spoken the entire car ride. When I pull up to her apartment, she hops out and slams the door shut, not even looking back. I watch her walk in and then look the other direction. Stone is sitting in his car across from me with a smirk. I roll my window down.
“Don’t ever fall in love,” I warn him, shaking my head. He laughs out loud.
“You’ve been back one day and you already fucked it up?”
“So it seems,” I say blandly. “Let me know if something comes up.” He salutes me before I peel off. It’s almost five but since I don’t have anything else to do, I head to the office.
Walking into the office, Cheryl greets me with a smile. “Good afternoon, Aiden.” Her cheerfulness is like fingernails on a chalkboard right now.
“Absolutely nothing good about it,” I mumble, walking past her, making a beeline for my office.
“Is there a reason you’re being an ass?” Damon asks, standing in my doorway with his arms crossed.
