The Highlander’s Promise (The Highlands Warring Scottish Romance) (A Medieval Historical Romance Book)

by Anne Morrison

  "Sort of. It wasn't bad. I saw that they hadn't notched her ear, however, and a plan formed. I took off my shoes—"

  "Why in the world would you do that?"

  "Listen, and I'll tell you! I took off my shoes, and I led their prize cow right out of the pen. I took her to the herd that old Glaston Farrell had brought to sell. It was a large one, and of the same stock as what the two boys had. I slipped her in, washed off my feet, and put my shoes on."

  "And no one ever suspected you."

  Ava laughed.

  "They did at first, but I had made such a fuss about my new clothes and my new shoes that they thought I never would have done such a thing. I think, looking back, they rather thought I was a little stupid. Not flattering, but useful."

  "So, you got away with it?"

  "Oh, no. My father, the laird, had no proof, but he didn't need it. He was silent while the hubbub went on, but that night, he came to my mother's cottage and asked to take me for a walk."

  "And what did he do?"

  "Walked me right down to the river, cut a switch, and striped me until I screamed."

  Nicholas's arm tightened around her for a moment, almost too tight before he let her go.

  "You were just a child!"

  "Not anymore, as he said it. I was a thief and deserved to be punished."

  Nicholas growled, and Ava couldn't help laughing. He made her remember how angry she had been over it, at the unfairness of having gotten away with a thing and then being punished anyway.

  "And after he was done, he sat me on his knee, wiped away my tears, and told me that I was very dear to him. If I was going to do such things, I had to do them right. He would always protect me if he could, but I also needed to know how to look after myself, and that meant no stupid risks. Nothing that would break my mother's heart or his."

  "And this was Patrick Blair, your father?"

  "Yes. And I learned, didn't I? I'm the best raider the North has seen in a long year, a good fighter as well."

  Nicholas was silent a long time, and then he kissed the bare nape of her neck, more gently than ever he had before.

  "But it was wrong, Ava. Surely, you see that?"

  "Nicholas..."

  "Perhaps you should have been punished, but you should have been told that there was no need for you to do that, that he would protect you and your mother—"

  Ava swallowed against the unaccustomed lump in her throat.

  "You are not as naive as all that, Nicholas. I know you aren't."

  "He should have told you it was all right just to be an angry child..."

  "And then a helpless woman, dependent on men who would never act to defend me? I'm a bastard, as you seem to keep forgetting."

  Ava's voice was harsh, and even though she felt a hot thread of anger run through her, still she was relieved when Nicholas kept his arm around her tightly.

  "My father, for all that he is a randy old goat, gave me the tools I needed to survive. I'm not what you would have me be, Nicholas, and that's fine. I'm who I needed to be, and he gave me that. All of Clan Blair did."

  "And you will not return to them."

  Ava closed her eyes tight, and she did not open them again until she was sure she would not sob a little. Why had she told him all this? Of course, he wouldn't understand.

  Or perhaps he understood too well, and that made her heart want to tear in two.

  "No."

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  chapter 28

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  Nicholas found that he was unable to sleep. His mind kept returning to Ava as a little girl, struggling to defend her beloved mother. The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. A real father would have taken Ava and made her understand why what she had done was unacceptable. He wouldn't have put her on the path to becoming a raider who thought that the only thing that mattered was her skill with stealing cattle.

  He hated the idea of a smaller, more innocent version of Ava being switched, but he hated even more the idea that her own image of her, of what she was worth and what she was capable of, being taken apart by the very person who was meant to protect her.

  Were you the one who made her think that she was such a strange and awful thing? Did it serve you well?

  He knew the answer to that, of course. Ava had said herself that she raided for Clan Blair's coffers. She was proud of it, and the idea that she was doing it in exchange for the love that should have been hers by right made him sick.

  And what if they're doing it to Catherine, as well?

  Berry Crawford had said that Clan Blair took in orphans. She would be defenseless, just as Ava had been, no mother or father to look out for her.

  He tossed and turned until dawn began to streak the sky, and then he gave it up as a bad job. Nicholas slid out of the bed, leaving Ava deep asleep. Nicholas paused for a moment, brushing her hair out of her eyes. There was always something so very tender about her when she wasn't awake. When she was awake, she was as sharp as a fine sword and as gleaming. Asleep, Nicholas felt as if he could see something else as well. She was vulnerable, but it was more than that. It was if when she was asleep, some of her natural sweetness came through.

  Sweet. She would hate that.

  Nicholas knew that sooner rather than later, he would need to stop thinking about what mattered to Ava. A few more crofts, a few more queries, and they would be in Caradoc lands. They would come to the end of the deal that they had made, and they would no longer owe each other anything.

  He had to push away the pain that idea brought him. They had only been together a short time, but Ava Fitzpatrick already felt like a part of him. She was always in the corner of his eye. It felt like her laugh had somehow wound around his very soul, giving him a light where once there had been darkness.

  Nicholas dressed silently and made his way down to the common room of the inn. There was a small scatter of people at the low tables, talking quietly. Here and there in the dark, sweethearts leaned against each other. Life in the Highlands could be harsh, but there was also this joy to it, this wonder and pleasure. He realized with a slight smile that most of the people had simply not gone to bed, instead choosing to stay up with one another.

  He gestured for some bread and soup from the innkeeper, settling at the rear of the table. He knew that he needed to be careful, but with the inn as dim and quiet as it was, he thought it should not be too great a danger.

  I need to get her out of my blood. I need to focus on finding Catherine, if Catherine is there to be found.

  In the quiet of the inn, however, Nicholas found himself wondering if it had ever been about Catherine in the first place. He grieved his sister, but in Carlisle, he could not find the strength to grieve his niece as well. Perhaps he had only started his mad search for her because he could not bear more grief, or to have one more thing taken away from him.

  And still I am not sorry for it. If I had never come north, I would never have met Ava. Never would have touched her, loved her...

  He pulled back from the emotions, shaking his head. He had to stop thinking of Ava now. If he didn't, those feelings would blindside him when it came time to part from her in a short while.

  Maybe I should just... stop now. Would it be easier to part ways with her here?

  The thought made something in him roar in protest. The idea of pulling away from Ava in any way, whether it was now or in the future, wounded him.

  He was just getting ready to turn back to the room when the words of the two men seated close to him caught his ear.

  “—better than old Blair's bastard could have done herself.”

  “Aye, and no mistake about it. It'll be good to be home, in any case. The dales are crawling with soldiers, and the mountain will be a rest from all this.”

  Nicholas stood abruptly, turning toward the two men.

  “Are you of Clan Blair?”

  The two men were thick-set and had a rough look to them. They turned as
one to look at him, their gazes steel.

  “Aye? And what does an Englishman want with us?'

  “I'm no Englishman right now,” Nicholas said impatiently. He would never have said it a few weeks ago, but he was a different man these days, he was coming to find.

  “I'm a man looking for my niece, a little girl named Catherine. She was taken north. I was told that Clan Blair rescues children. Fosters them.”

  The men eyed Nicholas coolly, and he forced himself to stay calm. These men could be the next step in his journey to find Catherine. It would mean leaving Ava, but perhaps that was for the best. Perhaps their journey together had to end so that he could take the next step toward finding Catherine. He shut away the part of him that wanted to howl and gazed at the two men with determination.

  “I can pay you.”

  The other people at the inn were looking uneasy, even angry. Nicholas had heard things about Clan Blair, both directly and sideways, and it seemed that at least some of them were correct. At the mention of money, they seemed a great deal more interested.

  “Well, that's a horse of a different color,” one of them drawled. “Show us.”

  Nicholas gave them a cold look.

  “Assume that I'm good for it. You can kill me at the end if I'm not, but you're not getting it yet.”

  The men exchanged a glance, shrugged.

  “All right. We need to gather our things, and then...”

  There was a soft cry from the stairs, and in shock, Nicholas looked up to find Ava. She was dressed neatly for travel, her hair done up. It was obvious she had found him gone and came looking.

  She wasn't looking at Nicholas, however. Instead, she was staring at the two men who were talking with him, and now they were staring at her.

  “No,” Ava said angrily. “Nicholas, you...”

  In a flash, the two men were out of their seats and flanking her, each one taking her by the arm. She tried to kick at them, shouting in anger, and that was almost more than Nicholas could bear. He bounded over, wishing he had not left his sword in the room, but his fists would do well enough for now. He seized one of the men, ready to draw him away, but the man stared at him.

  His eyes flickered back and forth between Ava and Nicholas, and Nicholas felt an inexplicable surge of rage. What he and Ava had together was not for this man to judge. No one could judge it, and that blind wrath came up again.

  “You want to get to Clan Blair? You want to find that girl? Help us bring in Blair's bastard, and you needn't pay us a cent.”

  Nicholas hesitated, and as he did, Ava kicked the other man hard, making him release his grasp. She started to spin around, to run up the stairs, but her foot caught on her skirts. Nicholas took hold of her. He wasn't sure if he had wanted to stop her from falling or if he had needed to restrain her.

  “What does Clan Blair want with Ava?” he asked, forcing himself to ignore Ava's guttural cry.

  The man who had spoken before gave Ava a wary look but turned to Nicholas.

  “Old Blair wants to talk with his daughter. That is all. He cares for her. He wouldn't see a hair on her head harmed.”

  “You swear this?” Nicholas snapped. “If you are lying to me, I will hold you responsible. I will tear the tongue from your head.”

  “No,” Ava choked out. “Don't...” There was something wild in her voice just then, something as close to begging as he had ever heard. It tore at his heart, but he hardened himself against it. There was no future for him with Ava. He had to focus on what came next in his search for Catherine. If she couldn't help him any longer, then they had to be quits.

  “I swear,” the man said. “The old man is sick. He wants to see her.”

  Nicholas felt as if his heart were being torn apart. He looked at Ava's hanging head, saw the furious defeat in every line of her body. She would never forgive him for this, but for Catherine's sake, for the last hope of family he could imagine, he had to accept that.

  “All right,” he said at last. “We're going to Clan Blair.”

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  chapter 29

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  Ava knew when she laid eyes on the men in the inn that she didn't have much hope. One was Kerr Williams, the best tracker in Clan Blair. The other was John Tanner, who was as determined as a bully dog who had locked its jaws. Once they got this close to her, once they sighted her, the only way that they would be put off was if she killed them.

  She knew she couldn't. They might be dragging her back to the last place on earth she wanted to be, but they were still her clan, her kinsmen. She knew John's young children. Kerr's sister had once knit her a scarf for the cows she had brought back in a lean year. Ava might have been furious with them, but she would never offer them real harm. Truth be told, she knew that they were only doing what they were told, what any of Clan Blair did when Patrick Blair gave an order.

  There was, of course, no such protection for Nicholas.

  He had sent Nathan and Kerr up to the room to pack their things, and then he had pulled her into the empty stable yard behind the inn.

  Despite her resolve, Ava glanced around to see whether there was a way to escape, if she could get away from Nicholas, steal Cobie. As if he could read her thoughts, Nicholas's grip on her wrist tightened. She bit back a yelp. She would sooner jump into an icy loch than allow him to think he could hurt her.

  “I had no idea that they wanted you,” he said, his voice urgent. “All I could see was that they could take me where you would not.”

  “Let me go,” Ava snapped. “Let me go, and bargain for what you want with them. I'm done with you.”

  Something flickered briefly across Nicholas's face. She thought that perhaps he wanted to let her go, but then iron stole across it.

  “Was it true what they said? That the Laird of Clan Blair does not want to hurt you?”

  How could she answer him? How could she tell him that her relationship with her father was a fraught thing, as full of trouble as a tree was full of leaves?

  “He will not hurt me,” she said. “I have no wish to see him.”

  Nicholas sighed, some relief evident in his face. She hated him for it and tried to wrench her hand away again. Nicholas maintained his hold on her, but his face was stern now, resolute.

  “Then I'm afraid you will need to come with me. This seems to be the only way that I can get to Clan Blair. You refused me.”

  She stared at him, stung.

  “And this what happens when I won't do what you say? This is my punishment for not coming to heel at your side?”

  Nicholas flinched at that, something which gave her an intense amount of vindictive pleasure. If she was going to suffer, then so should he. He had no idea what he was asking of her. A tiny part of her wanted to tell him, wanted to spill out all of her grief from the past decade, but pride kept her jaw locked tight.

  If he would not guard her peace, she would certainly not trust him with her sorrow.

  “Ava... I am sorry.”

  She went still at that. She took a deep breath, and somewhere, from the very bottom of her reserve, she found a smile for him. It was even a real one, and Nicholas looked at her as if she was something beautiful, as if she had blessed him.

  He was so stunned by her smile that he didn't notice her free hand coming up. If she had reached for the dagger hidden in her boot, she would have slashed his throat. That would have been the end of Nicholas, and the end of her problems here.

  Instead, she landed an enormous open-handed slap on his face, as hard as she could. The report of her blow sounded like ice cracking in the high lakes in the spring, and Nicholas was as still as a statue for a moment. He was pale enough that she could see each of her fingers inscribed on his skin in red. She thought she might have cut his cheek with his teeth.

  In that moment, she wanted Nicholas to react to her. She wanted him to be as hurt and as furious as she was. She would have taken his curses, his blows. It would ha
ve been better than this cold and sterile acknowledgment in his eyes now.

  Ava felt as if she had been punched. The air left her lungs. She had never thought that Nicholas, who held her in his arms and made her cry his name in ecstasy, would be this cold.

  “I will allow you that,” he said. “Heaven only knows that you deserve it. Now will you come with me, or must I tie you?”

  Ava stared at him.

  “You can't be serious.”

  “I will. If you believe nothing else, believe that. I want this done with as little pain and as little distress to you as possible, but right now, you need to decide what that means. You can ride before me on Cobie, or I will tie you like a Christmas goose and throw you over his back.”

  “Like a piece of cargo that you are bringing to Clan Blair.” She couldn't keep the fury or the disgust out of her voice.

  “Yes. I don't want to do that to you, but I will. Do you believe me?”

  “There's a part of me that doesn't,” she said honestly, looking into his eyes. “I don't want to believe that you would do such a thing, something I want so little, something that will make me hate you. But you will, won't you? No matter what I say, or what I feel, or what it might do to me.”

  Nicholas's nod was short and sharp. Ava took a deep breath and shook the arm he held slightly.

  “Let me go. You're hurting me. I'll come with you.”

  He released her, and then he watched her carefully, as if afraid she might simply sprint away. When she didn't, he inclined his head in the briefest of bows.

  “Thank you.”

  Ava wanted to spit on him.

  “Don't say that to me now.”

  Kerr and John came out with their things, and Ava pushed every part of her that could feel and cry deep inside herself. She was going home. There was no place for any of that any longer.

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  chapter 30

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  Nicholas was startled by how the trackers from Clan Blair treated Ava. He had watched them like a hawk at first, ready to break their heads at any sign of cruelty or disrespect. If they had laid a hand on Ava, he might have killed them.