A Modern Love

by M. Glenn Aldridge

  Chapter 24

  Frank was early to rise this morning. He seemed excited to wake. As if the world had something to offer that sleeping would simply waste.

  He's not always up early, though probably more often than not. See Frank sees the day like he sees people; as a challenge, as someone that won't be telling him what to do. The day can't teach him; he's the teacher. No, Dr. Frank Whitney, Ph.D. tenured Professor of History doesn't let the day rule him. He rebels against the day as he rebels against the free spirit of an unruly freshman student. The day is something to be tamed, subdued and put in its place. Frank certainly has a funny way of seeing the world, doesn't he?

  Frank does have a very strict routine for waking to the day though. He carries his steps out as if there is no other way to accomplish a rise to a day. First he places both feet on the floor, crunching up his toes to feel the carpet. He likes that for some reason, he thinks of it as like a cup of coffee for his feet; it gets them up and going. Next he makes his bed. He won't even stretch or anything, and sometimes he doesn't even turn the lights on first (if there's enough dim light from the morning to suffice). He just can't bear the idea of an unmade bed. He cringes at the thought of walking into his bedroom and seeing ruffled sheets. Just another quirk of Frank Whitney.

  His shower routine is equally planned out but I'll spare you that scene. ? You're welcome.

  Frank just loves breakfast. In fact it's his favorite meal of the day; less to do with the time of day really than the types of cuisine. Bacon, eggs (no matter if scrambled, poached, hard boiled, over easy, sunny side up, hey even deviled; eggs are great), hot cakes, sausages (links or patties are equally enjoyable to Dr. Whitney), hash browns, OJ, coffee, milk. Basically the works. Frank spares no effort on his breakfast that's for sure.

  What would be even better was if Frank could cook. I mean he tries but he's no Miss Donna in the kitchen if you know what I mean. Still he makes his breakfast in an organized and efficient manner. See what I'm trying to say is he cooks like a Professor, not like a cook. He has more thought than action. He has more theory than pizzazz, if you get my point.

  Still the meal is good to Frank and he devours it with all the speed of a certain cartoon mouse running from Tom the cat. He at least holds his fork properly as he quickly stuffs his food in. I doubt Jennifer Holmes would find his social etiquette up to par if she saw his breakfast table manners. But hey, when bachelors eat alone there are really no rules ? right? I mean if there's no one there to see then who cares about social etiquette; just let it fly. I'm sure Frank wouldn't eat like that with the company of another. Well, I think anyways.

  After breakfast Frank slows down quite a bit. After all, it's not like he has a busy schedule or anything. So he tries to just stroll through his day; you know, not get in too big of a hurry and all.

  As his massive meal is just beginning to digest he finds himself washing off his pots and pans, plates and such in the sink before placing them carefully (and always in there exact proper place) in the dishwasher. He enjoys cleaning up far more than cooking. To Frank, cooking is a means to an end only. He likes the food, but to him, the cooking is just like jumbling things up, just making a mess. But ? cleaning up is like restoring order and correctness to his little world. Cleaning off each plate and utensil, placing them carefully in the dishwasher, wiping off the counter and seeing his kitchen all spic-and-span once again brings him much joy. It's one of his daily highlights. Miss Donna would call this, enjoying the "little things".

  Once Frank steps from his kitchen into his living room, as he does every day in virtually the same exact manner, he's usually feeling pretty darn good about himself. A full belly, a made bed, a tidy kitchen; all things in perfect, Dr. Frank Whitney, Ph.D. tenured Professor of History, order. Just as he likes it; as he must have it; as he demands it. Life order is very important to Frank.

  In the living room Frank's normal routine is to turn on the television. No sound, mind you, see Frank just likes the company of television not the intrusive talk of it. He prefers to sit with the TV on and read. What he reads is not exactly what one would call eclectic. His reading desires focus around a single genre, although there are a lot of limbs on that tree.

  His preferred reading subject is ? you guessed it, history. He devours history books like ? well like hot cakes. From any century, from any country, from any subject, Frank gobbles them all up. You'd almost think as much history reading Frank has done in his life he'd have read it all, but then again there's a lot of past in the ? past ? I suppose.

  See as long as it's history Frank'll read it. He loves the past, the history of things. The past is safe, it's stable, and it's known. History, especially in the written form, is like a made bed to Frank, like a clean kitchen after a hardy meal. It's set in stone, there's nothing to be argued about, well in Frank's mind anyway. He likes that best about history. It's set in stone. It is what it is, with no feeling or argument, nothing but the facts. That's how Frank sees it.

  I have to say I see history a bit differently though. That is that ? well history is usually written by the winners of wars, not the losers. That allows history to be spun in whatever manner the victor decides. We'd all like to think that winners are always honest, but as adults we have to face the fact that sometimes propaganda creeps into our history books, even in our word of mouth told history stories. It's just a fact of life I suppose ? that being that human nature is to stretch the truth in your favor; to create history that suits your purpose best. To the victor goes the spoils, they say. By the way I licked that bully Johnny Tolson in the third grade, pay no attention to any history stories you may have heard that say otherwise.

  Anyways where was I ? oh yah, Frank enjoys reading for an hour or so. He thinks of it as his daily mental workout. I see his point. Ya know, Frank may have some funny ways of looking at things but they seem to fit him well. His quirky way about him is somehow endearing. Perhaps that's what Miss Donna sees in him?

  After reading Frank likes to make his rounds about The Villa. In this part of his day he thinks of himself as the Sentry. As he strolls around The Villa he feels he's guarding the very essence of his home; of every tenants home. Although he's not really guarding from danger. No, no Frank is guarding from inappropriate behaviors mainly. Things such as: kids running by the pool, dogs off leashes, roaming cats, any trash strewn about the courtyard, or God forbid a newbie parking in a front parking space.

  Frank guards The Villa from what he deems to be behavior that is outside of his liking. I guess we all do that to a degree, but Dr. Frank Whitney, Ph.D. does it to the "nth" degree, and then goes just a bit further. He's not opposed to walking right up to another tenant and letting them know his thoughts about how they are negatively impacting his lifestyle at The Villa.

  Example: This one time last year Helen Camble, a resident for some time now, was reading in one of the Gazebos. Just sitting there quietly on a Sunday afternoon reading and occasionally taking a sip from her soda bottle. Little did she know she was being scouted. See Helen didn't realize there was an empty soda bottle on the ground just outside of the Gazebo, just out of her sight ? but Frank did. The bottle must have been left by someone else because it certainly wasn't Helen's, she picks up after herself; see I know her fairly well.

  Anyways, it made no difference to old Frank. As Helen got up to leave and walked across the courtyard, with her empty soda bottle I might add; Frank seemed to leap out of nowhere and gave her an ear full about picking up your trash, see that soda bottle, how dare you, you're not the only one living here you know, be a good neighbor and all that jazz.

  Needless to say poor Helen was caught off guard and stunned. She was so surprised she didn't even put up a fight, she just walked over and picked up the other soda bottle and took it with her back to her apartment.

  Later she told me how annoying the situation was and how that Frank fella's a real ass. I think Helen
's exact words were: "What an ass that Frank can be. I don't know who named him head dude in charge of the Neighborhood Watch Alliance, but I'd like to ? well to ? kick him square in his ? naditudes". Helen's quite humorous and probably just kidding around. Although, if I were Frank I'd be watching her feet closely the next time I see her.

  Yah, Frank can take his watchtower patrol to an annoying level in a big hurry. Luckily for us tenants, he usually completes this part of his day rather quickly, and on this day he found nothing to complain about, not out loud anyway.

  Frank sometimes skips lunch. After all with such an enormous breakfast who would be hungry? If he does eat lunch it's usually a quick sandwich and some fruit; something that he can make quickly and get down fast, in order to move on to his chores time. Today he chose a single banana as his lunch.

  Chores time is early afternoon for Frank. He actually doesn't mind chores. He sees them as tidying up so they have their proper purpose in this world. Time well spent in his mind. Whether it be laundry (in that damn dungeon, Frank likes to call it; I'll spare you his long diatribe about the steep steps leading down to the dank room ? again your welcome), vacuuming, dusting, or his favorite cleaning the bathroom; Frank is up for the task. You'd think someone like Frank would cringe at cleaning a bathroom, but he enjoys it. I think he gets high off the cleanser fumes or something. Who knows?

  He does pace himself though. Seems he does a little bit each day rather than trying to tackle everything like say; once per month. He has the time and so he uses his meticulous cleaning efforts to fill up part of his day; to make him feel like he's doing something worthwhile. At least it keeps Dr. Whitney busy and off of his Sentry patrol. I think I can speak for all the tenants of The Villa by saying we are thankful for that.

  Once Frankie boy is finished scrubbing his toilet or dusting off his many books (like he did today), he likes to spend the rest of his afternoon doing various things. He thinks of this as his free time, time when he can just let go and do whatever he wants; go crazy so to speak. That's actually kind of funny; I mean Frank go crazy? His free time is regimented almost as much as his chores time really. Free time is usually rotated between shopping, reading the newspaper, doing crossword puzzles, the random chore like getting the car oil changed, or going for a brisk walk around the neighborhood. Not exactly cutting loose I'd say, but it seems to keep Frank feeling happy so hey, good for him. His free time today consisted of crossword puzzles. Sounds like an exciting afternoon, huh?

  Frank's got a pretty good pension, being a retired Professor from a state university and all. So he's not exactly hurting in the dough department if you catch my drift. In fact, it's funny that he even lives at The Villa, as he could afford a far more lavish abode. Maybe he likes The Villa's quaint nature?

  Anyways, as I was saying, Frank doesn't have to worry about money too much, so he's built into his home budget one meal on the town per day; big breakfast, a light lunch or maybe no lunch, then a meal out. Good eating I think.

  Frank's idea of a meal on the town is usually take out, and a lot of it. He does have quite the appetite. Luckily for Frank, Owensboro really does have a large selection, basically everything: all your basic burger joints, caf?s (some serving all day breakfast, Frank loves that), bar & grills, BBQ, donut shops, pizza pizza pizza, all day breakfast places, southern cookin' buffet's, cafeterias, Chinese (mmm), a couple of health food joints, surf & turfs, steak houses, Mexican, deli's, submarine sandwiches, Italian, seafood, and even a place that specializes only in frozen custard. Yah, Frank has quite a selection to choose from.

  Today Frank did his normal process of thumbing through the yellow pages for a while looking at the names and addresses of each of the restaurants in town. He enjoyed two cups of coffee during his search for the perfect dinner. After all that he went with what he goes for nine out of ten times; pizza. Frank likes to really keep his options open but then reverts to his old faithful anyway. Kind of a cute quirk really; he spends all that time thinking, searching, planning, and then usually just goes with the same ole' same ole'.

  But ? it's not like it's just regular fast food pizza though. There's this genuine Italian pizzeria in town called Guzzardos, where they make real pizza pies, among other great Italian foods. I mean they make authentic Italian pizza pies; not the American kind. Don't get me wrong I love all kinds of pizza, but if you've even had authentic Italian pizza pie you know what I mean. It's something special. Frank certainly knows this and pretty much keeps Guzzardos in business with his orders.

  Frank calls in his order and drives over. He could have it delivered but he likes an excuse to get out. When he picks it up they know him by name. I'm not saying they like him, because Frank can be as surly with the Guzzardos' staff as he is with The Villa's tenants. But ? he likes that he's known. Makes him feel good when he calls in his order and just says "the usual". He doesn't even say his name, they know his voice. This makes Frank feel like he belongs, like he has a home, not just at The Villa, but in the town of Owensboro as well. By the way, I believe "the usual" is a large supreme.

  Now you might think Frank, being a tight wad and all, wouldn't tip well. And most places he doesn't, but at Guzzardos he usually goes thirty percent or better, and during the holidays he might even go one hundred percent. One time, during the Christmas season, he left a tip of one hundred dollars. He likes the pizza pies that much. That and he actually does have a soft side and likes to show his appreciation; at least on special occasions.

  Dinner is eaten at a calm pace, at least when compared to breakfast. After numerous slices Frank has a couple of cups of coffee and then reads any yet to be read tidbits from the daily newspaper. It's more of a winding down time for him than a cerebral moment. He enjoys disliking the sensationalized crap that passes as "fair and balanced" news these days. If you ask Frank his thoughts about this he can quickly jump on his soap box.

  After reading he prepares for bed and then climbs in, usually quite early. Frank falls asleep rather quickly, no tossing and turning like some folks. Frank always sleeps like a baby, quite content with himself.

  But ? deep down I think he knows he's missing something important; something ? someone that could add to his life. Someone's life he could add to as well.