Semiramis Reborn

by Maya Daniels

  “It’s not just that our womb is where life is created. It’s also where alchemy happens. It’s where we transform negative into positive energy. It’s how we create this world to be what it is. By hiding that truth from us through the millennia, many have lost the connection they have with the Divine Mother. The longer the connection is lost, the more negative energy accumulates in us, because we can’t transform it on our own.” Her voice is sad and I’m doing my best to swallow the lump in my throat.

  “So that’s what happened to me? Because I had a lot of negative energy in my womb, I almost bled to death?” I ask her, shocked. In my mind, I’m seeing millions of women dying because they can’t transform what they unwillingly absorb. How have we not gone extinct by now? My mind is spinning.

  As if she can read my thoughts, she shakes her head and chuckles. “We absorb those energies in three ways, Alexia, and only when our auras are open. When we eat, when we are intimate and allow a man into our body, our temple, and when we sleep.” She pauses and waits for me to understand the implications of her words.

  I look down at my hands, folded in my lap. Everything makes so much sense right now that I can’t believe how stupid I have been through many lifetimes, not just this one. Enlil’s face flashes in my mind, his anger evident in his eyes and I shiver. All that anger and hatred he had for me could kill several people, not just one. Then there was my ex with his twisted ways of mental as well as physical abuse. Giving my head a few sharp shakes, I try to dispel the images. I’m lucky to be alive indeed.

  “I know why I had so much accumulated in me now. Thank you for explaining all this to me, Daisy. I truly am grateful,” I tell her, and I hope she can hear the sincerity in my voice.

  She pats my cheek a couple of times and smiles. “I can see it in your eyes. You somehow think you are responsible for all of it. You are not, child. Of that, you can be certain. If I didn’t know all this, I could’ve been in the same shoes as you, and I had a good husband of thirty-five years who took care of me the best he knew how. It wasn’t his fault that others around him, his job, friends, neighbors, the stress and anger of it all affected his aura and when we were intimate, he automatically sent it to me. Not of his own doing, of course, but because our womb is like a magnet. It absorbs it to transform it. That’s why men are almost always happy and energetic after such encounters and we feel so tired sometimes, we want to spend the month in bed.”

  “I see.” That’s all I can say. I understand what she is saying, but I can’t help but feel some responsibility for it. That reminds me. “So, what exactly happened to me? And is that it or should I worry about it happening again?” I shiver at the thought.

  “You had a karmic release, Al. I have been monitoring your energy daily. It’s the only explanation I can find. You lost so much blood, but luckily, Lucifer put you in a suspended state while he tried to figure out what was causing it and how to stop it. His energy was so erratic that I felt it stinging my skin all the way to the main road I was driving on past the cottage, just to make sure everything was fine here.” She gives me a sheepish smile and I smile back. It makes me happy that even if I wasn’t aware of it, someone still cared if I was okay or not. I know Lucifer does, but I’m still not a hundred percent sure that there’s nothing there for him. With non-human beings, there’s always something, trust me.

  “Thank you, Daisy, it means a lot to me to know that someone cares if I’m breathing or not,” I say, smiling. I meant it as a half joke. I guess I said the wrong thing because she looks at me like she wants to slap me.

  “What?” I ask defensively.

  “I don’t ever want to hear you say that again, Alexia! There are a lot of us, as well as non-humans, that care if you breathe or not. What kind of stupid talk is that?” She is looking at me with a stern expression and I can’t help but laugh. It’s so unlike her that I have tears in my eyes from it. After a minute she joins me as well. “I am serious, even if I’m laughing!” she says after we are done.

  “I know.”

  She looks to the other side of the bed and I turn my head to see what got her attention. I almost jumped out of my skin seeing Lucifer staring intently at me. I forgot he was there. What the hell is wrong with me? I look at him, wide-eyed.

  “Can’t you say a word, or move, or I don’t know, breathe maybe?? I forgot you’re still here,” I say accusingly.

  “Obviously,” he says dryly, but I see a flash of something in

  In his eyes. Was that hurt?? Nah, I’m seeing things.

  “It must be from the long time I’ve been out of it. I’m usually very observant, as you know.” Even I don’t believe my own words. Lately I’ve been anything but observant.

  “Keep saying it and we will both get convinced, eventually,” he says and shakes his head.

  “Not funny,” I mumble, but he doesn’t laugh. I was so hoping he would.

  “Well now, I’ll let you rest a little. I’ll go have some tea and I’ll come back to check on you in twenty minutes or so. Don’t worry, I’ll keep Lucifer with me so you can have alone time. I couldn’t get him to leave your side this whole time. I don’t think you know how lucky you are to have all of us caring as much as we do. Just like I know your friends are lucky to have a place in your heart,” Daisy says in order to cut the uncomfortable feeling that is almost tangible in the room, but I still get no remarks from him. I can never keep my mouth shut; I want to slap myself a lot lately. With those words, she stands up, kisses the top of my head, picks up all the things she left on the floor and starts walking towards the door with Lucifer right behind her.

  “Lucifer, can you stay a minute please? I want to ask you something.”

  “Go ahead.” He is standing at the door, one foot in the room, the other raised to cross the threshold.

  “Close the door.” I plead with my eyes for him to stay. I want to apologize for whatever I said, but he doesn’t give me the chance. He looks at me for a long moment, staring right in my eyes and I don’t blink, don’t move, I just wait to see if he will allow it. I feel the lump getting bigger and my eyes filling up, and I pray I don’t cry.

  “I will come to talk later…alone, as you request it, Alexia. Now, you must rest. I see it in your eyes. They keep changing, but you fight it. I will listen to what you wish to say upon your rising.”

  With that, he turns around and closes the door behind him. I want to scream at my stupidity, at life in general, at him even. Why am I so emotional?? I’m even yelling at myself internally. It seems I can’t do anything right lately. I stare at the ceiling while tears run down my face. I’m trying to do what is right for everyone and I keep hurting people in the process. After my rest, I am going to swallow my pride and ask Daisy and Lucifer for guidance with everything. This can’t keep happening, or I might as well admit defeat now and save us all some trouble. The faces of my friends, of my family, are floating in my mind and I close my eyes only to see them better. As I look at their faces, I slowly float into a waking dream.

  3

  There is a heavy fog all around me, accompanied by a feeling of dread. My heart starts beating wildly in my chest. I look at my feet and hands. Ever since I was a young girl, my grandmother always said to look at my feet and hands if I’m not sure whether I’m in a dream or reality. My feet and hands will clue me in on whether it’s a lucid dream. Unfortunately for me, the fog is so dense I can’t see anything. Still aware of my weak state, I test my legs and move my upper body left and right, but it feels fine. No pain, no sore muscles, and definitely no tiredness.

  “Hello?!” I call out into nothingness. I wasn’t expecting an answer, and I didn’t get one. Remembering my visit with Venus, that now seems like it happened in a different lifetime, I start dragging my feet on the ground without lifting them—just to make sure I’m not standing on some cliff or something on which my first step would lead to bye-bye, Alexia. The feeling of dread doesn’t go away, it only gets stronger the farther I move into the fog. An eerie feeling fill
s me, like I have lead in my stomach. As I move forward at a snail’s pace, I call out to Inanna. She must be able to hear me in these other realms. It feels like hours I’ve been moving and calling, but neither did the fog clear nor did she answer. I stop moving and sit down on the ground. I feel like I’m going to empty my stomach if I keep on getting deeper into it. Something is pushing me back like it doesn’t want me here. Out of nowhere I start to feel a dull pain in my shoulder blades, and at the same time, I see shimmering from the corner of my eye, so I ignore the pain.

  It starts at first like little sparkles in the fog. I stare at it, fascinated; it looks like someone just threw a handful of rainbow glitter into the air. It’s beautiful. I watch the sparkles get denser. Within minutes, it looks almost like a shimmering invisible door. Is it a portal?! I’m as curious as a damn cat, but the feeling of dread is still sitting heavy in the pit of my stomach, so I just stare at it dumbly. I bet Remi or Jezzinta wouldn’t waste a minute, given the situation.

  As I think of them, the shimmering changes first to what looks like a cave opening, then to a green wooden door with vines around it. It switches from one to the other faster than a blink of an eye, then even faster back to what it was. How interesting! When it comes to observing clues, you’ll notice that I’m getting better at it, but this is me hoping, so don’t hold your breath. I make no promises. In other words, I’m out of my jackass stage, as Remi would point out if she were here. One can hope, right? Just like before, the shimmering changes into the cave opening and back again. I thought of Jezzinta and Meda next, and it did the same, only with the wooden door.

  Hmmmm…

  I know I should just sit here until I eventually get out of this dream or vision or whatever it is and tell Lucifer first. He would know what to do. But then again, one of those passages might take me to my sisters. My heart jumps at the thought. I know Lucifer will be angry, and he’d have every right, mind you, but wouldn’t you do the same? Go headfirst into a brick wall if it meant getting to those you love, the ones that are a part of your soul? I know I should wait, yet I stand up and focus as hard as I can on Remi’s face. As I see her in my mind’s eye, the shimmering turns into the cave entrance, and without a second thought, I step towards it. There will be hell to pay if I live long enough to tell the story to the angel, but I can give as good as I get, and if it comes down to a pissed-off angel versus seeing my sisters, guess which one has my vote?

  Taking a deep breath, I step through the cave opening.

  4

  I was expecting … something. I have no idea what, maybe squinting my eyes from the change of light, maybe a change in temperature or something strange…anything, really. What I actually encounter when I step through that opening takes my breath away. I stand there dumbstruck at what I was seeing. A magical—that’s the only way to describe it—orchard stretched out in front of me. I can’t see the end of it. It’s full of winter trees swaying gently in a breeze that is rustling my hair. They look alive, as though they’re dancing to their own tune as I watch, mesmerized by their beauty which is amplified by the full moon looking so large and close it leaves no doubt in my mind that if I reach up, I can touch it. The silvery glow makes everything around me enchanted, somehow.

  Everything is sparkling, just like the opening was in the fog. I’m standing, still afraid that if I breathe loudly, I might disturb the scene. The smell that assaults my senses is not…well, not human, I should say. I’ve never smelled anything like it in my life and I’ve done my fair share of traveling, trying to escape my miserable existence, as I’m sure you’re aware of by now. I look over my shoulder to make sure the opening is still there and I’m not stuck here. My eyebrows shoot up to my hairline and I turn around slowly to look at the mountain that has the cave opening. I’m standing at the bottom of it, and as I look up, I can’t even see the top of it, like it stretches up to the sky. Turning in a slow circle, trying to absorb it all, the glint of silvery light gets my attention, and I stare again. Silver apples are hanging from the branches of the trees. The light of the moon reflects on them and makes them look even more mystical. They weren’t there a minute ago. I went still again, breathing deeply, closing my eyes and opening up my energy, sending it out through the area to see if I feel anyone around me. It’s a nice little trick Lucifer taught me and, even though I’ve obviously been wallowing in misery and self-pity, I have been paying attention because it’s working like a charm. I let it stretch out as far as I feel comfortable, but the only thing I feel are the trees and other plants brushing their own essences against mine like they want to say hello. There are a few animals too, small ones by the feel of them, as well as birds. As the thought pops in my mind, I hear the screech of the owl and smile.

  “Hello, wise friend,” I whisper to it. The next second, my smile freezes on my lips.

  I can’t truly pinpoint what it is I’m feeling, but I know two things. One, it doesn’t feel human, and two, my energy recoils from it, but I can’t tell if it’s evil. Go figure. As if things aren’t shitty enough for me, I get more puzzles.

  “Thank you, Mother,” I say dryly, opening my eyes, looking up at the moon.

  I need to move away from here. I’m standing here in the open like an idiot and I have no idea where I am. Wherever it is, it sure as hell isn’t California. I head straight for the trees/ If nothing else, I can at least hide behind one if anything comes my way. As I walk past the first set of trees, I feel my feet sink into lush grass. That made me realize I’m actually barefoot.

  “How the fuck didn’t I realize that till now??” Something doesn’t feel right, and it’s not the entire ‘other realm’ feeling. No. This is different, like some invisible creature is watching me and creating illusions so it can amuse itself. I narrow my eyes and start scanning my surroundings.

  “Where are you? Show yourself to mamma,” I mumble under my breath and snort at my stupidity.

  Mamma??Really, Alexia? I shake my head at myself. I really am losing it.

  I keep looking around, trying not to miss any detail and to see what or who can be doing this. I’m failing miserably. As I’m about to walk out from behind the tree, I hear it. Footsteps; and it sure as hell isn’t from just two legs, it’s from many. I glue my back to the tree, trying to breathe as quietly as I can. You never know who can hear or sense what. As the footsteps grow louder, my heart beats wildly in my chest like a drum. How’s this for a slap in the face, huh? I should’ve kept my ass on the ground and waited for Lucifer to wake me up and tell him about the portal instead of being a dumbass and going head first into Goddess knows where. I tap my head back on the tree as self-punishment. I never learn, do I? They’re close now, almost passing me. It doesn’t sound the marching of soldiers, but the sounds are rhythmic, like when kids play follow the leader. Without looking, I can tell they’re walking one after another in a line. I slowly peek from behind the tree and suck in a sharp breath. A long line of robed figures, walking one after another as I knew they would be, stretch past my line of vision. There are so many of them.

  I can’t see who or what they are, for that matter, but what makes the breath freeze in my lungs is the lanterns they’re holding in their right hands. They look like any old lantern you’ve seen, and that would have been great but for the electric green light coming from them. That’s no oil lantern, that much is clear, and when my eyes lock on the flame, my entire body shudders and it feels like hundreds of tiny little hands touching me…everywhere. I start to shake and say “ewww” but only E comes out because the next thing I know, a hand is clapped over my mouth and I’m slammed backwards against the tree. I raise my hand to punch whoever is attacking me, only to stop halfway, my hand neither up nor down, staring at a beautiful blond woman glaring at me, her mouth a thin line projecting her displeasure and her eyes blazing and promising at least a fair fight if I try to push her away or hit her. I try very hard not to snort, but my eyes must have betrayed me, because she mouths, “Don’t you dare laugh,” which obviously
makes me want to laugh even more, so I softly snort.

  And before you assume I’m an idiot or too trusting, I must tell you that her energy feels nice. It feels right. That’s the only reason I’m trying not to laugh instead of beating her senseless. I look at her carefully, and if I’m honest and less cocky, I’d say maybe not beat her senseless but at least try to do it. The woman has strength that I’m starting to appreciate now, because if she doesn’t move her hand, I will get a headache. The way she’s pressing on my mouth feels like she’s trying to push my head through the tree. I reach up and pry her hand off my face and she’s still looking at me as if she expects me to scream. I just shake my head at her and lean again to peek at the weirdos with their freaky lanterns.

  Are they gone now? Well I’m not that lucky because there are still more passing by, but I realize I don’t hear their footsteps anymore. What the fuck?! I see them moving. Why can’t I hear them? I look suspiciously at the woman. Did she make this happen by touching me? Now that’s a creepy thought, so I tap my knuckle on the tree to make sure I’m not deaf. I find out that one, I’m not deaf, two, that the woman has a knack for hurting me because as I knock on the tree, she knocks on my head, and three, which sucks big time, our little knocks, as low as they were, got the attention of the figures moving up the mountain.

  As I look at her to glare and show my displeasure, I freeze at the terrified look on her face and turn my head slowly to see what scared her. I almost scream because one robed figure is headed right towards us, and although I can’t see the face, I sure as fuck can see the red flames that are its eyes. I didn’t think, didn’t even consider that the robed figures could hear us, let alone that I’m cornered at a dead-end. No. I grab the woman’s hand and bolt as fast as I can farther into the trees, veering sideways. At least I have that much of a brain, because if I run straight ahead, it will see us for sure. All that training with the angel is paying off. As we run, I get the feeling the woman has someone training her, too, because she’s as fast and as quiet with her strides as I am, and although I still have a death grip on her arm, she’s running parallel with me. We’re passing trees and jumping over branches, rocks and dips in the ground, which makes my feet sore, but we keep going. I have no idea how long we’ve been running, but eventually we slow down and then stop. We plaster ourselves behind tree trunks and wait for a while to make sure no one is coming. Peeking around, I can’t see anyone, and I’m grateful the moon is so bright that I’d see a shadow if someone were coming from a few rows down in any direction. It also means anyone can see us too, but I couldn’t care less, as long as I have enough of a head start to start running.