Thief of Mind

by Ben Thomas

  “What, the chaos kids? Don’t want to think about them tonight. Tonight’s about us having fun.” Lou raised her wine glass aloft.

  “Actually, I erm rang Mum before to check on them,” Dave said timidly.

  “Dave! Your mum will think we’re checking up on her,” Lou admonished her husband.

  “And they’re okay?” I asked.

  “Of course they are. All tucked up,” confirmed Dave and this reassurance gave me a timely boost.

  “Lady and gentlemen, may I direct your attention to the bar.” Bobby alerted us to the shots of Sambuca he had lined up. “Two for Lou and Dave and three for Bobby and T to start making up for the missing hour, never mind the missing years. Cheers everyone.”

  There was no point arguing with Bobby and I felt like a man on a mission as I downed my three shots in quick succession. I closed my eyes, shook my head and we all let out a collective ‘eugh’. Sambuca was definitely a means to an end. Then our collective attention was drawn to the sound of Stevie Wonder starting up on the deserted dancefloor. We all looked at each other with huge grins splashed across our faces and we all knew what had to be done. I was surprised and pleased to say that my body took the initiative, and it was actually me who led us all to take possession of the dancefloor in order to dominate with our old school dance moves.

  I’m not inclined to use phrases like ‘totally awesome,’ but I had a totally awesome time on that dancefloor. Bobby showcased his repertoire of dance moves such as the running man, lawnmower and caterpillar with gusto if not grace. He insisted that we in our group – along with several strangers – replicate his moves, and as it turned out, improve on them. There was something I needed to do though. I took a step away from the dance floor and stood by one of the tables to the side. Picking up a serviette I dabbed the sweat from my forehead and surveyed the room. A large percentage of people were by now on the dancefloor where my group were orchestrating proceedings. Two people were conspicuous by their absence and I found them stood near the bar, deep in conversation. I headed over to them. As I approached, I got the sense that they were not enjoying the most convivial of conversations. Kev stood with his arms folded and head inclined. Helen had one hand on her hip while the other was gesticulating close to Kev’s face. If I had had a fully functioning sixth sense, I would have turned around there and then and left them to it but, buoyed by the confidence repaired somewhat on the dancefloor and augmented by alcohol, I carried on towards them before it was too late to turn around as Helen spotted me.

  “Here he is: Mr Wonderful. Everybody’s loving Toby. Nice moves, by the way. You’ve still got it.”

  “Yeah, erm, thanks, Helen.” My brain was trying to decipher her tone. I wanted to take it as a compliment, but I was pretty sure I could sense sarcasm.

  “You can’t lose what you never had, eh?!” I laughed at Kev’s well-made point, but neither he nor Helen joined me in laughing. I’d thought Kev was being funny, but on reflection, I guess he was simply being matter of fact.

  “Everyone’s so happy to see you, Toby. We don’t hear anything from you for, what is it? Ten, eleven years? Then you stroll back into our lives and it’s like you’ve never been away.” I was really struggling to interpret Helen’s tone. “The dress sense leaves a bit to be desired, but you’re looking good, Toby. You’re looking very good.”

  “Thanks, Helen. You look great by the way. Oh, as do you, Kev.” Kev just sort of raised his eyebrows to suggest he was unimpressed or, at best, nonplussed by me.

  I noticed Helen glance furtively at Kev, who was scanning the room, sipping a glass of water. Helen narrowed her eyes before turning her attention back to me and engineering a smile. “In fact, if it’s possible, I think you’ve even improved with age, and I think we should get to know each other again.” The fact that Helen looked stunning tonight meant that I was starting to like how the conversation was turning out. She picked up her handbag from the table next to her and took out her phone. “What’s your number?”

  I blurted out my number without the hesitation and need for evasion that I had felt when Bobby had asked me last week.

  “Okay, Toby, I’ll ring you later in the week. In the meantime, have a think about where you’re going to take me.” She was talking to me but I felt that she was addressing Kev.

  “Great, I’ll look forward to it,” I muttered.

  “Right, I’ll leave you two to it,” she said. “I’m sure you’ve got a lot to talk about.”

  Helen left me and my oldest friend alone for the first time in an age. I searched the silence for something to say.

  “So, tonight’s been a success,” I stated.

  “Who for? You?” Kev took his phone out of his pocket.

  “No, no for you.”

  “It’s not about me, Toby. It’s for the charity,” he said without looking up from the phone.

  “Yeah, I know. That’s what I meant. I missed the auction but I’d like to make a donation.”

  “Well there are envelopes on the tables.”

  My reception from Bobby, Lou, Dave, and the others had been great but this was very different. You would never believe that Kev and I knew each other, let alone had been best friends. He hadn’t even looked me in the eye.

  “So how are you doing?” I tried.

  “Good.”

  “I hear you’re doing better than good. How’s the private equity world? Made any mega deals recently?”

  “This and that. I like the challenge of turning around a struggling business. Recently took on an accountancy firm with a lot of dead wood which we’ve been sorting out.” Kev was now looking at me, but not with warm eyes of friendship. His eyes had a cool, calculating look, as if he was trying to appraise my reaction. I guess he wanted me to be suitably impressed. I didn’t know what else to say, and it was clear that Kev wasn’t in the mood for conversation. I looked around for anyone who might be available to save us from the awkwardness.

  “It’s the old team back together, the three musketeers.” Bobby arrived right on cue, cutting through the tension with his smile.

  “Bloody hell, Bobby. Why are you always smiling?” asked Kev.

  “Because seeing you two together is great and life is great. Now, Kevin, let’s see if we can get a little smile from you.” Bobby stared at Kev with his massive grin. The mood Kev was in, it was likely to be a forlorn task.

  “Do I need to bring out the tickle machine?” Bobby crouched in front of Kev while wiggling all his fingers in front of him. Kev shook his head as the faintest of smiles came across his face. “There it is. I got him, Toby. Did you see it?” I nodded my head. “Right, let’s celebrate Kev’s new found happiness with some shots.”

  “Not for me, Bob. I need to get on. See you later,” said Kev to Bobby, and without saying goodbye to me, he walked off.

  “Right, looks like it’s shots for me and thee then.” Bobby waved the barman over. “Down these, then back on the dancefloor for the last half hour. There are two beauties eyeing me up on the floor. After all the dancing, I won’t have the energy to handle them both, so I just need to prepare you, you may have to make love to a beautiful woman with me. Well, not with me, and not with the same woman…a different woman, my woman’s friend, but at the same time, but not the same place.”

  “It’s okay, Bobby, I understand. You want me to be your wingman again.”

  “Right.”

  “Right, we’d better get on with it.”

  14

  Bobby did spend the night in another person’s bed, but not with a stunner. And thankfully he didn’t make love to anyone, because he ended up in bed with me, in the room I had booked earlier. We spent the rest of the night on the dancefloor with our mates and no sign of any ladies wishing for Bobby to show them attention. The shots had finally caught up with Bobby, and it made sense to make use of the room I’d already paid for. Sarah gave me a s
mile as I dragged Bobby through the hotel foyer to the lifts. Bobby was just conscious enough to slur at Sarah that our first date had gone very well. Bobby fell asleep straight away on the bed and I soon followed suit, but not before reflecting on a quality night. I had even managed to forget about my awkward conversation with Kev. I lay back and closed my eyes and drifted off into a contented sleep.

  I woke up in the morning to be greeted by the sight of a naked Bobby opening the curtains. I thought I was having a bad dream, but no, Bobby really was walking around the room starkers.

  “Wakey, wakey, hands off Snakey.” I simply groaned in response to Bobby’s greeting. “Well, I feel awesome. How are you feeling, my good man?”

  I rubbed my head, expecting it to be sore, but I felt surprisingly fresh. “Yeah, I actually feel pretty good.”

  “Right answer. Great night last night. You glad I brought you?”

  “Yeah, it was good…really good,” I said as I stretched, but then I was suddenly distracted from my reflections by a sixteen stone naked man doing a range of stretches right before my eyes. “Erm, what are you doing, Bob?”

  “Just getting my mind and body prepared for another awesome day. You should try it.”

  “I’m not getting naked with you.” It was strangely absorbing watching Bobby perform his exercises. He was an amazing character. He was poles apart from the shy nervous ‘Robert’ whom I’d first met. Some people had tried to bully him, seeing his size and nervous disposition as something he should be punished for. We had formed a bond immediately, and over time he had blossomed into the wonderful specimen I saw before me now in all his glory. Bobby paused midway through a lunge as he noticed I had been staring at him.

  “Thanks, Bobby,” I said.

  “Like what you see, eh, T?”

  “I’m not thanking you for the nakedness, I’m thanking you for, I was going to say abducting me, but I should say for encouraging me, to go out last night.”

  “I knew you’d enjoy it,” Bobby said as he continued with his lunges.

  “I don’t want to get all deep and emotional, but it meant a lot to me, the effort you made, and it was so good to see everyone. You’re amazing, Bobby. You’re always happy and smiling, I mean you even got Kev to smile in the mood he was in last night.”

  “Yeah, that’s the smile challenge. Life is here to be enjoyed and smiling’s a good indicator to others and yourself that you’re enjoying life. If I’m feeling a touch low I force myself into a smile and hold it, and acting like I’m happy actually convinces me that I am happy, or so the science goes.” Bobby had by now moved onto doing squats. “As an act of public service, I try to make whoever I meet smile within thirty seconds of meeting me. Often all it takes is to smile at them, but sometimes you have to get the tickle machine out.”

  Bobby had easily completed the smile challenge with me as I listened with a grin etched on my face, and yes, I did feel good. Bobby stopped his exercises and sat on the bed next to me and looked me in the eyes.

  “So how are things with you?” Bobby asked me with an appraising look.

  “How do you mean?”

  “Well, for instance, how did you actually enjoy last night? I mean one minute you were smiling and making jokes, the next minute you look like you’d seen a ghost and you were acting all nervous and timid, which is not the T-Zone I know. Then you disappear for about ten hours, and then you’re dancing almost as well as me and loving it. And what about when we were at your house and getting ready. I thought I was going to have to wash and dress you myself. You can forgive a man for being confused.”

  “I don’t know. I guess at times I felt last night was a bit overwhelming.”

  “You were with friends though.” Bobby had a point.

  “I know, but I was unsure of how they would be with me after so long.”

  “But they’re your mates, they’re always going to be glad to see you.”

  “What about Kev?”

  “What about him? He’s often like that, he was like that at school. Don’t worry about it. What’s really the matter?”

  “I, I, erm, I…” I really wanted to reward Bobby’s perception and friendship by explaining to him.

  Do not confess to him. He will tell everyone you’re mental.

  “Yes?” Bobby urged. I wanted to explain to him, I wanted to unburden myself.

  “I don’t know. I sometimes get a bit nervous…anxious, I guess.”

  “About what?”

  “I think I just worry a lot and that worry just seems to have built up over the years and it’s sapped my confidence a bit.”

  He thinks you’re weird.

  “Does that make me sound a bit, you know…weird?” I knew Bobby was still looking at me, but I kept my eyes on the floor.

  “Don’t be a bell-end. Of course it doesn’t. Everyone gets nervous or anxious at times. It’s natural. Look at me.” I could hardly miss him. “It may surprise you to know that I used to worry a lot, mainly about what people thought about me and would I be good enough. I never used to have confidence – well, you’ll remember what I was like when I first started school with you.”

  “So what changed? I mean, you’re not exactly lacking in confidence now.”

  “Two things, really. I decided that I wanted to enjoy life more, I wanted to give more of myself, so I thought about what type of person I wanted to be and I started to play a role. I started acting as if I was super-confident Bobby. I acted as if I was the friendliest, funniest best-looking bloke you would want to meet. I wanted to make more of life’s opportunities, or as I like to call them, ‘Bobbortunities.’ I decided to get involved in things, even if I wasn’t naturally good at them. You remember the rugby for instance? I forced myself out of my comfort zone. If you want to make change for the better, sometimes you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. And it was all an act…at first. But eventually I noticed people were responding positively, and more importantly I noticed that I was starting to believe it, and it started to feel natural being outgoing, believing in myself. I still have moments of doubt when I revert back to being Shy Robert, but then I just smile and think ‘What would Bobby do?’ and then I just do it.”

  I loved Bobby’s positivity. He was right; there had been a change in him, but it had felt natural and not forced.

  “Aren’t you going to ask me what the first thing was?”

  “What first thing?”

  “I said two things changed for me. I just told you about the second thing. The first thing was meeting you.”

  “Me? You’re not going to tell me you’re in love with me, are you, Bob?”

  “Of course I love you, but not in that way. No, you gave me that initial belief. You sparked that belief by accepting me and encouraging me in the first place. You involved me and accepted me when others didn’t. I thought if someone like you accepted me and liked me, I could at least do the same for myself.”

  “I was just being a friend, Bob.”

  “I know, and I will always be grateful to you. And in return, I am going to be a friend to you and help you get that belief back. Are you up for it?”

  “I don’t know, Bobby. I’m pretty far gone.”

  “Are you happy?”

  “No.”

  “Do you want to be happy?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, let Bobby sprinkle a bit of magic dust over you. Are you up for it?”

  I sighed, shook my head but then looked Bobby in the eye and smiled. “Go on then, let’s give it a shot.”

  “Great. Let’s hug it out.” Bobby stood up and opened wide his arms and caught up in the moment, I was about to embrace with him when my eyes alerted me to the fact that he was still naked.

  “How about a high five for now?”

  “Sure. Right, the first part of your rehabilitation are your Bobitivities.”

&
nbsp; *

  When I got back home I showered and changed, then was about to do one of my favourite things, sit down on my couch and have a cup of tea, when my phone rang. I walked over to the windowsill to pick up my phone. It was Jess.

  “Alright, Sis? How can I be of assistance?”

  “By taking me out to lunch, bro.”

  “Ha ha. Nice try. When was the last time you took me out to lunch?”

  “I’m not supposed to take you out, you’re the big brother. And besides, I’m a poor student.”

  “When were you thinking?”

  “Right now.”

  “Erm, I’m not sure Jess. I’m a bit busy,” I felt that last night’s exertions were enough social interaction for me for one weekend.

  “What, busy drinking tea?”

  “What?”

  “I can see you, you loser. I’m parked outside looking through your window at a big doofus drinking a cup of tea. Come on, I’m waiting and I’m hungry.”

  *

  Jess drove us to the restaurant which was often her favourite when someone else was paying. It was a popular Italian, always busy but relaxed. On the way over Jess chatted away. I had learnt over the years my job wasn’t to engage in conversation but to simply listen and nod or say ‘hmm’ at appropriate junctures. This suited me fine as my mind was racing away wondering whether Jez had told Jess about his visit. Jess didn’t often call round unannounced so surely this was no coincidence.

  The waiter showed us to the table then took our drinks orders.

  “Just a lime and soda for me, please,” I said.

  “I’ll have the same, please.”

  “Very good,” said the waiter and went to get our drinks.

  “What’s with the raised eyebrows?” asked Jess.

  “Lime and Soda? I thought ‘students’, and especially this student, only drank alcohol, especially when big brother is apparently paying.”