by Thea Chin
“What do you mean?”
“I was brought there by an ambulance because I fainted. And then when I went back to try to figure out what I forgot after that incident, there was a nitrous oxide gas leak in the lab. Mark says that I said that there was a person who was with me but disappeared when Darren showed up, but honestly, I can’t really remember that part either. When we checked the security cameras, there was a flash of St. Valentine’s logo before that segment of the clip blacked out, hence ‘killer doctor.’”
A mixture of anger and confusion flashes across Jaiden’s face. “And you didn’t think to tell me?”
“I—”
“You thought it’ll be better for me not to know,” he repeats her earlier words. “You thought it would be better that I could focus on my education and job cause, oh, ‘Jaiden’s father has been piling work on top of the honors thesis he has to write, so I better not bother him with my well being’ than tell him that someone might be out to kill you and that the second person he’s ever considered his best friend is lying to his face!”
Tsukiko keeps her head down. He’s right. All that he is saying is right, and she deserves this lashing. She knew she was going to get it if he ever found out. It was the price she was willing to pay to do what she thought would protect him. It was an investment that went bust. She was ready for it; Mark prepared her for it.
A gentle hand lifts her chin from under so she looks into his eyes. He looks different now as if his earlier anger was never there at all. The only thing left on his features is hurt.
“What made you think I’d want that?” he asks in a low, raspy voice.
Tsukiko takes a moment to think before answering. “I didn’t. I never thought you’d want that.”
“Then why did you do it?”
She steps back away from his touch, her eyes unwavering as she expresses something she’s been repressing for a while. “I didn’t want you wasting your efforts on someone who’s not the one you should be wasting your efforts on.”
Jaiden is dumbfounded. “Wh-what do you mean, ‘not the one I should be wasting my efforts on?’”
“I mean that I’m not who you think I am when you look at me. I’m not her.”
“My soulmate?” When he realizes what she means, he could not be more surprised. “Y-you think I see her when I see you? When we eat together, when I tuck you into my fur at night, when I ran to you when I heard you got hurt… you think I did that all for her?”
Tsukiko feels like she has plenty of reasons to do so, albeit they are all rather dated.
He continues, disbelief still strong in his voice. “You didn’t once think that I do all that because I… y-you…”
Mark looks up with sudden interest and anticipation.
“Because you’re you?” he finally says.
She twitches under his gaze. She doesn’t answer; she doesn’t have to.
Jaiden sighs and lets his arms droop by his sides. “Fine. I… It’s fine.” He takes a half-step forward only to think better of it and hastily leaves the room.
Tsukiko takes a few steps after him, but upon realizing that she doesn’t know what to say even if she caught him, she slows to a stop.
Mark gets off his stool by the ice chest and walks over.
“I know…” she says before he can say anything.
He doesn’t speak and just pulls her into a comforting hug. She allows herself to exhale a long breath into his embrace before pulling away with the shake of her head.
“I’m fine. Do you mind going to Jaiden for me though?”
Mark slips on a smile; it’s odd to see him in anything other than a smirk, but it’s nice to see something softer for a change.
“Sure,” he tells her, ruffling her hair. “Get home safe, alright? And think about what he said.”
“I will,” she promises.
With one final nod, she watches him toss his white coat on a bench and leave his lab for the first time in weeks. A dead rat falls out of the pocket, but that’s hardly important right now. She simply stores it back in the ice chest where she finds other experimental rodent bodies and takes her leave. Before she can though, a squeak from somewhere startles her, and she jumps, knocking over a beaker in the process. Hurriedly, Tsukiko picks up the glassware and assesses the damage she’s done.
The liquid did not spill far; the only thing she got wet is an old photo of a young wolf. The picture is thankfully mostly intact despite the moisture. The only thing that is off is his soulmark. Ink from it runs off to the side with the spilled liquid as if it were drawn on after the photo.
Tsukiko dabs the picture dry and finds that she’s taken the entire soulmark off of the canine. Why would someone draw a soulmark on a wolf, and why does Mark have a picture of it in his lab? She turns it around and sees a date. That’s two photos of werewolves without soulmarks, she realizes. Both of which are before Jacque Taylor’s times. Why does he have this?
* * *
Jaiden acts like nothing ever happened at Mark’s lab after that day, and Tsukiko has felt like a scum since. To distract herself, she spends her hours with Mark, Angela, or even Darren. Today, she is with Angela.
Her laptop is on the countertop as she bounces the child up and down. An email sits unread in her inbox as she debates whether or not to open it. It’s from St. Valentine’s Memorial, but this time, it is not about her health updates or their monthly newsletter.
“Re: St. Valentine’s MH,” it reads, “Job Application.”
“Should I?” she whispers to the child with both anxiety and excitement.
“Yaaah,” she giggles, chewing on Tsukiko’s blue strands.
Tsukiko pulls her a little further away to look at her with a smile. “Okay. You’re my good luck charm, Angela, so work your magic!”
Through half squeezed eyes, Tsukiko clicks on the email.
“Dear Miss Tsukiko Tsujii,” she reads aloud. “After careful analysis of your application and discussion after your interview… oh my—” Her heart palpitates more quickly with every word and her lips turn upward at the news. “… It is our honor to offer you a place with us here at St. Valentine’s Memorial Hospital!”
Sensing her delight, the baby lets out a squeal.
“What’s the occasion?” someone asks, walking into the room.
The baby turns around at the sound of her father’s voice, and Tsukiko greets him with uncontainable jubilee.
“This,” she answers, turning the screen towards him. His reaction is not nearly as energetic as hers though.
“Congratulations,” he says.
“Thanks,” Tsukiko hums, looking down at the email to reread it.
He walks awkwardly by her to get some water from the sink. “Um…” he begins. “Didn’t you apply to Destiny too?”
“Yeah…” she replies. “But it’s been weeks now, and I’m not feeling too hopeful about it. I didn’t do so well in the interview.”
“Oh…” Darren says, scrunching up his nose. “D-do you want me to put in a word for you?”
Tsukiko waves her free hand hastily. “No, no, that wouldn’t be ethical. Besides, I already have this offer.”
He looks again at the email on her laptop. “Oh, okay then. St. Valentine’s is near Destiny, so let me know if you ever need a ride.”
“Thanks,” she nods appreciatively.
Angela lets out a yawn at that moment, sending both adults into action.
“Aw, are you tired, my angel?” Darren coos, showing a rare soft side of himself.
Tsukiko lowers her so that she can rest her head in the crook of her neck while they all head towards Darren’s room.
“Thanks,” he says as she lays her down in her crib while he fetches her stuffed quokka, Mr. Fluff.
Despite having sleep in her eyes, Angela still reaches upward fussily. “Da-geee!”
Tsukiko frowns at what can be wrong. “Does she need to be changed?”
“No, we’re good on that,” Darren laughs. “I’ve just bee
n singing to her before she sleeps, and now she won’t go to bed without a song.”
“Oh, okay then. Take the floor.” She steps aside and presents to him the crib.
It’s a simple nursery rhyme, but it combined with the way he looks at his daughter fills Tsukiko with a warm feeling. She looks to her softly glowing wrist and wonders if this is its doing. How do soulmates build romance if they’re always questioning if the feelings are really their own? Then again, remembering Chan at Irene’s graduation and seeing Finley and Faith together makes her realize this doubt might be just unique to her.
Something about all this kindness and affection the Mu Alpha boys have shown her just doesn’t sit right with her. In her opinion, all she has done to deserve any of it is waking up with this glowing tattoo on her hand, but her self-doubt has hurt her closest friend, she realizes. Maybe it is time to open up and immerse herself into this pack.
Leaning against the foot of the crib, she joins Darren in his song.
“Child, child, off to sleep…”
* * *
Darren closes the door quietly behind him.
“I’m glad she’s the type to sleep well,” he whispers to Tsukiko. “I heard other parents have it much tougher.”
Tsukiko is about to agree when Jaiden walks by. He takes a look at Darren’s hand which still rests on the doorknob to his bedroom door then at the two’s close proximity. He meets eyes with Tsukiko for a moment before turning on his heels and continuing his path down the hall.
“Wait,” Tsukiko calls, hurrying after him.
Jaiden turns around with a smile plastered on his face. “Hi, Ki. How’s it going?”
“No, stop that.”
He makes a noise of confusion. “Stop what?”
“That!” she exclaims. “Pretending everything is fine when they’re not. I… I hurt you. You should be mad at me.”
“You—”
She puts up a hand to silence him. “And… and I want to apologize. I shouldn’t have assumed there were ulterior motives to your actions. You’re genuinely a nice person and a valued friend, and I want you to know that I’ve always appreciated you, Jaiden, even if I had the wrong idea before.”
“And I want you to know that I was never mad at you, Ki.” His face melts into a softer smile. “I can never be even if I wanted to be. After that day, I just decided that I had to try even harder to—” He cuts himself off, blinking a few times at the air.
“To?” Tsukiko prompts.
He looks back down at her. “To be Tsukiko Tsujii’s friend,” he finishes.
“You don’t have to try harder.” She grabs his wrists and looks him in the eyes. “You already are. My dearest and closest friend.”
Jaiden has mixed feelings about her statement, but it doesn’t stop the heat from rising to his cheeks. “A-and you’re mine,” he stutters, making her give him one of her heart-stopping smiles.
T-24 Moons
“Hey Ki!”
She runs across the parking lot to her friend with a growing smile. “Jaiden!”
“How was your first day as a clinical lab scientist?” he chuckles while messing up her hair.
“Pretty good. My supervisor is a bit scary, but everyone is so nice.”
“Could be worse, right?” he agrees.
Leaning on the hood of his car is someone else that catches her attention. “Darren? You’re here too? I thought you have a midterm tomorrow.”
“I, um, studied for it yesterday,” he tells her with a small smile. “Congrats on your first day.”
“Thank you,” she beams back, kind of surprised that the two boys are cordial while being within ten meters of each other.
“Anyway, celebratory dinner at the usual place?” Jaiden suggests.
Tsukiko nods in gleeful agreement, and Jaiden gets into the driver’s seat while Darren swings his leg over his motorcycle. He looks at Tsukiko with a helmet in hand, and she is now faced with a new predicament. Who does she go with?
“Come on, Ki! I’m hungry!” Jaiden calls from his window.
She takes the invitation. “Coming!”
“Wait,” interrupts Darren.
Jaiden sends him a sharp look as if to say “What?”
Darren grips the helmet uncertainly. “C-can I catch a ride with you too? It’s more eco-friendly to carpool.”
His brother cannot hide his surprise as he blinks three times before he can react. Instead of answering though, he just re-unlocks his car for the other wolf.
* * *
It’s been a month since Tsukiko started at her job, and needless to say, the new environment is not easy to adjust to. This has not gone unnoticed by some of the boys.
Darren stares anxiously at the bubbling pie in the oven. He isn’t the best at cooking, but he wanted to surprise Tsukiko with something special, especially after learning about her extra stressful day at work today. He is making chicken pot pie, an American classic. He’s only made this once before, but that is a memory he wishes he could forget.
“Hey, sweetcakes.” Darren gives his girlfriend a quick peck as she walks by him, heading for a chair.
“You said you made something for dinner?” she sighs tiredly.
“Yep! I’m not sure how it is, but hopefully four hours amounted to something!”
A timer goes off and Darren slips on his oven mitts excitedly. He clamps his thumb to his other fingers like a crab in hopes to make Terena laugh before turning around and pulling the pie out of the oven.
“I present to you, Dust Homestyle Chicken Pot Pie!” he announces proudly.
“Oh, it looks good!”
Darren sets a fork and a drink in front of her and walks around the island to her side. He wraps his arms around her waist and buries his nose into her hair. “I know you like pot pies, so I tried to give it a go. Hope you like it.”
He then cuts two slices and puts them on plates. “Go ahead,” he urges by sliding a slice towards her.
Terena raises a brow before slicing through the tip with her fork and placing it on her tongue. Almost as soon as she does so, she gags and reaches for her drink with urgency.
“Terena!” Darren cries, patting her back. “Are you alright?”
“It’s horrible. Disgusting. Inedible!” she coughs once she has swallowed with difficulty. “Did you… did you try it first?”
“No, I—”
“What kind of chef doesn’t taste his own stuff before serving it? Were you trying to kill me?”
“No! Of course not! I love you!”
Terena shakes her head. With a sigh, she takes his head in her hands and gives him a dizzying kiss. “I’m sorry for yelling. I know you tried very hard, but let’s just order pizza, yeah? I had a rough day at school, and I really can’t stomach this right now.”
“Sorry,” Darren whimpers as his girlfriend pulls out her phone and makes a quick call to the local pizzeria.
He stares at the untouched slice on his plate and decides to take a bite. It indeed is terrible, and he immediately feels guilty for trying to make his lover eat it. With a sigh, he puts the rest of the pie into the fridge. Someone will probably be drunk enough to eat that one of these days.
The sound of the security alarm beeping as the front door opens pulls him out of his memories.
“Hi, Darren,” Tsukiko greets wearily as she passes by the kitchen. “Oh, you made something?”
“Yeah, you want some?” he asks as if she isn’t why he made it in the first place. “I made enough for you if you do.”
“That sounds great; thanks. Let me just put my stuff down and I’ll be right back.”
That gives him two minutes, Darren realizes as the timer goes off. He turns off the oven and gingerly takes the pie out. It’s a little deflated, but Darren is still holding his breath. Carefully, he cuts a tiny, unnoticeable piece and places it on to his palate.
It’s awful.
Darren lets his fork clatter against the granite tabletop and sighs in frustration. Why can’t he do
this right?
“You alright?”
His head shoots up upon hearing her enter the kitchen. His heart breaks a little from seeing her eyes light up at the unpalatable monstrosity he has made.
“You made pot pie?” Tsukiko gasp.
“No! No, it’s um… it’s not good. I was just going to order pizza. You shouldn’t eat that,” he rambles, standing between her and the pie.
“Why not?” She walks around him and reaches for some cups and pulls juice from the fridge. “You made it, right? Let’s try it.”
“You don’t understand,” he insists. “I did try it and it’s horrible. Disgusting. Inedible.”
Her brows furrow as she frowns. “Don’t say that about your hard work.”
“I didn’t work hard on it, so don’t worry. Let’s just order pizza before you starve.”
“Mark texted me asking what I wanted to save in case you set the whole house on fire four hours ago, meaning you started sometime before then. I’m sure you didn’t work hard on it,” she shakes her head sarcastically.
Ignoring his pleas, Tsukiko grabs a knife and puts slices on two plates. She gives him one as he sits defeatedly across from her with a fork in hand. She then raises a bite of pie on her fork towards him as a toast before eating it.
Darren gulps nervously, ready to call an ambulance as she chews the food slowly. She swallows her bite and wedges her fork into the rest of her slice for another. As she mulls over her second mouthful, Tsukiko flicks her eyes up to him, wondering why he isn’t eating.
His eyes widen in surprise at her reaction with a new worry in mind: her ability to taste.
“What?” she inquires about his staring.
“Nothing,” he mumbles, shifting his gaze. “Do you, uh, do you hate it?”
“Well you added too much salt, and the crust is a bit raw on the insides because of its thickness, but it’s not bad; give yourself a little more credit. Thanks for sharing with me!”
Tsukiko’s smile is enough to convince him to give the pie another chance. As he eats it, he confirms that she was too generous with her critiques. The pie tastes like a salt mine, and the dough is so raw, he can smell the soil from which the flour was grown.
