Charles was a hulking man who stood taller than Paul. He portrayed an image of strength that was probably an important qualification in his supervision of men who were rough by nature. He wore work clothes, dark heavy twill pants and an open-collared brown work shirt that fit snugly around a bulging midsection. His sleeves were rolled up part way, revealing muscular arms that were covered with dark hair. His hands seemed enormous, and his grip was firm as he shook hands with Paul. His salt-and-pepper colored hair was slightly disheveled and his bushy mustache was in need of trimming. Charles looked more like a construction worker than an executive, but as he spoke, his “diamond in the rough” nature quickly emerged. He was bright, jovial, and quick-witted.
“It’s good to see you again, Paul,” he said, echoing Anna’s earlier greeting. “We knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away from the big city forever.” He winked at Paul and broke into a broad grin. “Why, people from all over the world come to see the sights at Eagle Mountain.”
“You’d do even better if you could get somebody to put this place on the California map,” responded Paul in similar good humor. Paul had introduced Claire to Anna earlier, but now went into greater detail as to who she was and how he had become acquainted with her at San Diego State.
“I think she’s pretty,” interjected Michael, unabashedly.
“That she is,” said Charles, as he extended a hand and playfully mussed up Michael’s hair.
Anna now took charge of things, insisting that everyone move into the kitchen. “I have prepared food that’s begging to be eaten,” she said. “We can continue this conversation around the kitchen table.” Soon all were seated around a large wooden table and she produced an enormous platter of fried chicken she had kept warm in the oven until Charles’ arrival. There were also mashed potatoes, thick homemade gravy, and a cloth-lined basket heaping with freshly baked rolls. Then came bowls of assorted vegetables and two pitchers of cold beverages; one of them filled with milk, apparently the family favorite. There were also smaller bowls filled with relishes, condiments, and jellies. It was home-cooked fare at its best.
Before they commenced eating Charles bowed his head and the others, including Paul, followed suit. He spoke grace, not in a mechanical or obligatory way, but with the abiding faith that characterized this home. He prayed for Michael with heartfelt concern that left no question regarding his love for the boy. There was nothing dramatic in Charles’ simple prayer, yet it promoted a lingering feeling of warmth and trust as this gathering of five diverse people visited, ate, and occasionally laughed together at the humorous stories Charles told with great skill.
Gradually the conversation turned to Michael, as both Charles and Anna openly spoke of the debilitating pain he had come to experience so frequently – pain that came without forewarning. The distress typically involved excruciating headaches that were followed by acute nausea. The pain, when it came, usually immobilized Michael for hours.
“Michael, here, is a pretty hard nut,” said Charles at one point in the conversation. “It takes a lot to get him down, but then he bounces right back. Heck of a fighter, that kid. We’re counting on those San Diego doctors to make the pains go away; isn’t that right, Son?” There was unmistakable tenderness in his voice as he spoke to Michael.
“Dr. Reed told me all about the hospital there,” said Michael. “They’ve got equipment that will take pictures inside your body. The doctors will put something that’s like water inside of me, only red, and then they’ve got cameras that will take pictures of where it’s going. It makes what they call an angiogram, and from that they’ll be able to tell what’s causing my headaches.”
“Is there anything that can be done to prevent the headaches?” asked Claire. “Or is there any medication that will deal with Michael’s symptoms?”
“We’ll give you a bottle of sedatives when you leave,” said Anna. “It’s a fairly heavy dosage but it does provide a little relief. There doesn’t seem to be anything that will actually prevent the headaches.”
Claire had more questions evidencing her training as a nurse. “Can you tell when the pains are about to start – is there some advance warning?”
It was Michael who answered. “Usually I start feeling really tired and sometimes I feel dizzy; then the headaches start. I try not to cry, but sometimes I can’t help it.”
“Are there any kinds of physical activity that seem to trigger the problems, or are there any dietary factors involved?”
“There is no rhyme nor reason to the symptoms,” said Charles. “In so far as we can tell, there is no pattern in the way these attacks occur. Sometimes he’ll go two weeks without a problem, and then a bad week comes along and there will be three or four occurrences.”
“And how long do the pains last?”
“Sometimes they’re over in a day,” answered Michael, “but when it’s really bad it takes longer.”
“That’s when things are most distressful,” added Anna. “Michael is unable to sleep at times like that, and even with the medication he’s troubled with pain all night long.”
“But he refuses to let it get him down,” interjected Charles. “When the pain goes away he’s back to normal and you’d never know there was anything wrong with him.”
“I’m happy about going to San Diego,” said Michael. “Dr. Reed thinks the hospital there can make the pains go away for good.”
“Dr. Reed runs the infirmary here at Eagle Mountain,” said Charles. “He’s a good man but this kind of a problem requires training and technical equipment he just doesn’t have.”
Without being told, Claire understood that the costs involved with diagnosis and a treatment regimen could be astronomical. Paul had explained to her that Charles and Anna had been given full power of attorney to make medical decisions in Michael’s behalf, but clearly this problem went beyond the scope of the trustee responsibilities they had carried for the past ten years. These were the circumstances demanding that Paul take Michael back into his own custody.
During the dinner table conversation Paul had said less than the others, but he had not been detached or disinterested. Even though he was very much aware of the sudden increase in personal responsibility for Michael as well as the heavy financial liabilities that could accompany that responsibility, he was surprisingly sanguine about the whole matter. After years of having shut Michael out of his life and his mind, the sudden presence of this child brought him a measure of peace he could never have anticipated. He had a curious feeling akin to that of one who has finally undertaken payment of a long overdue debt. There was also another feeling he would have had difficulty explaining. He was doing something that would have made Cathy happy. This sense of unfulfilled duty to Cathy had haunted him for years.
Michael’s obvious acceptance had both surprised and pleased Paul. Though he was deficient in both skill and experience, he was resolved to be a father to Michael. In this regard, Michael’s reference to Anna and Charles as mother and father was oddly comforting. It relieved him of the responsibility to perform in a way that seemed to be beyond his present capacity.
Changing the subject, Paul now posed a question to his newly discovered son, “Have you ever seen the ocean, Michael?”
“Just in books. I’ve read a lot of books.”
“If we leave here soon enough there might be enough sunlight left to see the ocean before we check you into the hospital tonight.”
“And would there be boats?” asked Michael excitedly.
“We can drive along San Diego Bay, and my guess is that there would be some sailboats. We’ll have to hurry, though. Most of the boats are moored shortly after the sun sets.”
And with that, preparations were underway for their return trip to San Diego. Before leaving, Paul spoke privately with Charles and Anna, thanking them for their love and watch-care over Michael. Anna gave Paul the bottle of sedatives the doctor had prescribed and also insisted that he take a pillow and blanket for Michael in the event that a makeshi
ft bed had to be arranged in the back seat of the car. She was concerned that the excitement of the trip might trigger another siege of headaches.
Anna’s feelings were tender as the time for goodbyes arrived. She stooped down and embraced Michael with all the warmth of a natural mother, expressing her love to the boy that had virtually been her own for ten years. Charles followed suit and was also noticeably moved as he said good-bye to his son. Charles carried Michael’s luggage to the car and loaded it in the trunk while Anna again extracted a promise from Paul that he would keep her updated on Michael’s condition. “If it’s all right with you,” she said, “I’ll call every few days to see how things are going.”
Noticeably absent in the afternoon’s conversation, especially in these moments of parting, was any reference to what would happen to Michael once the tests were performed and there was a conclusive diagnosis. It went without saying that permanent arrangements would have to remain in the realm of the unknown for the time being. But uncertain as the future was, these prospects were not as unsettling for Paul as they had been prior to this happy reunion of father and son.
As they drove away Anna and Charles waved goodbye with fondness, and the three in the car reciprocated. Claire’s emotions were active and sympathetic as she sensed the emptiness that would now characterize this home, so accustomed to Michael’s presence and his exuberance for life. There would undoubtedly be lonesome hours and private tears.
Michael and Claire chattered back and forth as the trip commenced. Although the boy seemed to know a great deal about Paul, he was obviously curious about Claire – who she was and what kind of association existed between her and Paul. Claire’s explanation of what she did at the University and how she and Paul had been asked to work together gave Michael all the information he needed to draw his own conclusions about the nature of their relationship. Though he clearly understood that Paul was his father, he had drawn a clear distinction in his mind between Charles and Paul. He referred to Charles as Dad and comfortably spoke to Paul on a first name basis.
At one point in the conversation Michael made reference to the vacations he took each year in Michigan. This immediately piqued Paul’s interest, and he asked Michael for further details. “I go to see Aunt Elizabeth every summer,” he said enthusiastically. “Last year we went to the factory where they make Buicks. It’s in a city called Flint. We watched them put the cars together from the beginning to the end, and then two years ago we went to Lake Michigan and took a boat trip to an island. Aunt Elizabeth doesn’t like to go on boat trips very much because she had a daughter who was killed in an accident with a boat, but she said she wanted me to see the island. We stayed at a wonderful hotel there.”
All of this was bewildering to Paul. There was no Elizabeth in his own family, and he was certain that Anna had no such sister in Michigan. Indeed, he knew nothing about the woman who had shared a hospital room with Cathy, much less the enormous spiritual impact of their brief association. “Tell me more about Aunt Elizabeth,” said Paul. “Is she a real aunt, you know, a real member of the family?”
“It seems like she’s a real member of the family. Mom and Dad always called her Aunt Elizabeth. She pays for me to fly to Michigan every summer. She says it’s my birthday present even though my birthday doesn’t come until September. Mom and Dad always drive me to Phoenix and that’s where I get on the plane. They have friends there they like to visit.”
“How long do you usually stay in Michigan?”
“All summer long. I usually go just as soon as school lets out and come back before it starts again in the fall. It’s beautiful where she lives. There are lots of trees and even a lake behind her house. She always talks a lot about you. She has pictures of you and my real mom. One summer she took me to the place where my real mom is buried. We took a lunch with us and stayed there for a long time. She told me how beautiful my mom was. She said you loved her long hair.”
These references were astounding to Paul. Poignant feelings arose within him and he found himself struggling to grasp the implications of what Michael was saying.
Michael continued, “Aunt Elizabeth is the one that said you would come and get me someday, and I always believed that you would. We watched you on television every week last summer. Aunt Elizabeth says you’re a very good teacher. She used to be a teacher, only she taught kids instead of grownups.”
Claire listened silently during this exchange. She, too, was taken by Michael’s description of his experiences with this woman he called Aunt Elizabeth. As for Paul, Michael’s nonchalant references to the mother he had never known and to a woman whose identity remained completely undisclosed were like powerful magnets drawing his mind back to things and places he had tried to forget.
“I have to be honest with you,” he said to Michael. “I really don’t know this Aunt Elizabeth of yours. What is her last name?”
“I don’t know what her last name is. We just always called her Aunt Elizabeth.” Michael seemed to pass over Paul’s question as if it had no relevance to the conversation. “She told me you didn’t know who she was, but she knows all about you. She likes you a lot. We always remembered you when we said our prayers together at nighttime. She said that you had difficult problems to solve and that was the reason I had to wait so long to have you as my real father.” Michael’s tender heart now became apparent and his voice broke as he lifted his hands to wipe tears from his eyes. “I’ve prayed for you every night as long as I can remember. I prayed that you would come for me some day, just like you did today.”
Paul could not help but love this little boy who seemed to love him so sincerely. He owed the boy an explanation – an apology, but obviously there was no such expectation on Michael’s part. He reached back to Michael, who was leaning forward from the back seat, and tenderly touched the side of his face. “I’m also glad I could come and get you today,” he said. These simple words were of great importance — to himself more than to Michael. They evidenced his willingness to claim a new personal identity he had not previously thought possible.
“I’ve got a good doctor for you,” Paul continued, “in fact, I had a long talk with him about you just yesterday. He’ll be coming to see you in the hospital tomorrow. And then, Michael, just as soon as we get you home from the hospital we’ll do all those things you’ve wanted to do in San Diego.”
The word “home” stayed in Paul’s mind, demanding a definition. There had been no plans or preparations for Michael. How long would he be in San Diego, and what was to be the outcome of all this uncertainty? In the back of his mind Claire figured as an important part of all these things. How he needed her!
As they traveled on into the afternoon there were many topics of conversation. What the roadside scenery lacked in variety and interest was compensated for as the three of them spoke of things ranging from the inane to the philosophical. And when the conversation took on a decided adult flavor, it was gratifying to Paul and Claire to see how well Michael held his own. Unquestionably he was a gifted child.
During their rambling conversation Paul’s private thoughts reverted again and again to Michael’s earlier references to Aunt Elizabeth, and he resolved to make some inquiries. He needed to know who this woman was!
By the time Paul and Claire had gotten Michael checked into the hospital it was getting late – too late for another long talk he needed to pursue with Claire, but it could not be avoided. Within a day or two the San Diego Tribune would be full of things that would trouble her, at least President Michaelson had hinted at this likelihood. Then there was the cancellation of the Shelter Island Conference! That would be another shock for Claire which he needed to explain before the official word came down the pipeline. She would be with him on Monday when they would visit with Michael’s doctor, but things couldn’t wait that long. No, he needed to talk with her tonight. It had been a day of personal transparency and he would finish what he had commenced.
Still, he was troubled at the thought. Against
the backdrop of his pleasant experience with Michael, these matters seemed like a dark and sordid business. He hated to return to the grim realities at hand. But most dreadful was the likelihood that Claire would feel the need to distance herself from him. Again he considered the possibility of walking away from all these festering problems, but the need to defend himself could not be silenced. It was not an option!
On an impulse he traveled west onto Navajo Road after they left the Grossmont Medical Center, which was situated some miles east of the University. This quiet roadway ran along the northern perimeter of eastern San Diego at the base of rolling hills in an unpopulated area. Veering to the right, he stopped on a gravel road near Cowles Mountain, a popular hiking retreat. It was dark outside except for the faint light of the moon. But even though the setting was a romantic one, romance was far from Paul’s thoughts as he turned in the dim light and spoke to Claire. “I know it’s been a long day for you, but there are some additional things we must discuss.”
Before Paul could lay out the complex challenges he was facing, Claire responded, obviously anticipating the need to address the problem of day-care for Michael. “I know you’re worried about your responsibility for Michael at this point, but before you start making inquiries let me tell you what has been in my mind all afternoon.”
Although this issue was definitely on Paul’s worry list, it was not the thing he felt to be most urgent at the moment. Still, he let Claire continue.
“Why don’t you let me take Michael home with me after the tests have been completed?”
Paul reacted with surprise. “With you – how could you manage that?”
“I’ll take a leave of absence, six months for a start – kind of a sabbatical, and then we’ll see where things are. It would give me a chance to make good use of my training as a nurse, and besides, any other arrangements would be very complicated for you unless you decide to send him back to Eagle Mountain.”
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