“I’m good,” I spouted, my cheeks feeling like they’d caught fire. “Um . . . Look, Bryce, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
He leaned back in his chair, casually kicking his legs out and crossing them at the ankles as he took a bite of the muffin in his hand. “You mean the divorce papers I saw in your bag?”
My heart sank. “I’m so sorry,” I said quickly. “I never meant for you to see them like that. Honestly, I forgot they were even in there. I would never do something like that to you.”
He popped another chunk of the muffin into his mouth, his square jaw working as he chewed, his expression completely relaxed. “It’s okay, Tessa.”
My head canted to the side in confusion. I couldn’t get a read on him. He’d seemed pissed when he left, but now he was totally cool. “Really? Because you looked upset earlier.”
“I was, at first. But I’m good now.”
“You are?” I wasn’t sure how I felt about his easy attitude. I knew I should have been thinking it was a good thing, that him being okay with the divorce was a blessing, but I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling weighing heavily on my chest.
“Yeah.” He shrugged. “I had some time to think about things while I was out, so it’s all good now.”
“Oh . . . okay.” Why the hell did it feel like my heart was breaking all over again? “Then, good. That’s good. This is really good.” Stop saying good, Tessa!
“Yeah, I mean, it’s not like you were plannin’ on giving them to me anyway.”
It was like a record scratched inside my head. The apple fritter paused halfway to my mouth. “I’m sorry?”
Bryce slugged back his coffee, his demeanor never shifting. “Well, I saw the date on the paperwork. You’ve had those for weeks and you haven’t even signed them, so it’s obvious there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to end this. And that’s good, ’cause I don’t want to end this either.”
The indecision warring inside me moments ago was swallowed up by flames of indignation. “We aren’t together, Bryce. We haven’t been for years, with or without those papers. So there’s nothing to end. We’ve been over for a long time. Those papers are simply the final nail in a coffin you built and slammed shut more than a decade ago.”
Drawing his legs back, Bryce sat tall, leaning forward to rest his forearms on the table. The calm façade he’d been wearing was now replaced by something far more serious. “I know I’m the one who broke us. I’ve hated myself for what I did to you for ten fuckin’ years, Tessa. But not once, not for a single day, did I ever stop loving you. And I know you love me too.”
“I don’t,” I argued, my quick response giving me away. He could see the lie written all over my face.
“Then why have you been holdin’ on to those papers for so long, Tessa? And why haven’t you signed them?”
“I”—I felt like a deer caught in headlights—“just . . . haven’t gotten around to it.” Good job, Tessa. That lie wasn’t obvious at all. “I’ve been really busy.”
“I’ve been in your room and in your bed since lunch yesterday. You could’ve given them to me at any time.”
“I’ve been sick!” I cried pathetically. “I was sleeping most of the time, and like I told you, I forgot about them.” Because a part of me didn’t want to remember their existence.
“Fine. I’ll give you that one,” he said, pushing out of his seat and moving to my bag. The food I’d just eaten turned into a brick in my stomach and my hands began to tremble as he came back to the table with the papers. Slapping them down in front of me, he shoved a pen in my face and said, “Then sign them now.”
The shaking in my hands grew worse as I took the pen. I froze with the tip hovering over that offending line. Every muscle in my body locked up, my lungs hemorrhaged air like a cut artery lost blood. The seconds ticked by, each one agonizingly slow. I ticked off each one in my head, and still . . . I. Couldn’t. Move.
I counted to sixty twice before Bryce put me out of my misery and tore the pages away. I sat motionless as I heard him stuff them back into my bag, and a second later he pulled my chair around and crouched down in front of me.
“I love you. That’s never gonna change, beauty, and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you don’t ever feel the need to sign those goddamn papers.”
My vision blurred with unshed tears. “H-how?”
“By proving to you that I’m worthy of a second chance. I know I don’t deserve one, but I’ll do everything in my power to earn it. I screwed up, Tessa. I ruined everything the first time, and I let go of the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but I’ll make it right. I swear to you, I can do it right the second time.”
My voice was a barely-there whisper as I asked, “What if you can’t?” The fear I felt was a very real thing. Tangible. Something my fingers could wrap around easily.
His features grew fierce and determined. “I will.”
“But what if—”
“I. Will,” he stressed. “The only other choice is lettin’ you go again. And that’s not an option.” He took my hands in his and squeezed. “So I’ll make it right, beauty. End of story.” With that said, he stood tall, dragging me from my chair. “Now back to bed. I’ll get your meds, then we’ll spend the rest of the day in front of the TV. How’s that sound?”
I didn’t know what to say. My brain had short-circuited, and I was sure it was going to take a long time to reboot, so instead of arguing, I moved to the bed, fell in, and pulled the covers up to my chin.
All the while wondering, what the hell just happened?
Chapter Thirteen
Tessa
I’d expected the rest of my time with Bryce to be awkward and uncomfortable, but after his declaration, he went about the day like nothing had happened.
It took me a long while to get comfortable when he flopped down on the bed, propping up on a mound of pillows against the headboard like he owned the place, but eventually the anxiety lessened and the stiffness in my muscles began to ease.
Grabbing the remote, I cued up Netflix and scrolled to one of my favorite shows.
“Schitt’s Creek?” Bryce asked incredulously.
I turned from the television to him with big bewildered eyes. “You haven’t watched this?”
“Never even heard of it ’til now, so I definitely haven’t watched it. What’s it about?”
Pausing the show, I sat up and began to explain the premise of one of the greatest TV shows in the history of ever. The more I talked, the more animated I grew, using my hands to stress just how awesome everything was. “So basically, it’s the best show you’ll ever watch,” I finished, a little out of breath in my excitement.
He stared at me blankly, clearly unconvinced. “Just give it a shot,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You’ll thank me later. I promise.”
He finally broke out in a grin as he faced forward. “All right, honey. I’ll take your word for it.” He crossed his arms behind his head, making his biceps bulge. “Start it up.”
I scrolled back to the very first episode and hit play before snuggling deeper in my pillows and settling in for some comedy goodness.
It wasn’t long before I was laughing at David and Alexis’s banter, and all the stress from earlier just melted away.
Two episodes later, I looked over at Bryce and asked, “Well?”
“You were right. It’s pretty good.”
“It’s more than good!”
“Okay,” he relented, a grin on his own lips as his eyes trailed down to mine. “It’s great.”
“Told you so.” I gave his chest a playful shove before settling in for two more episodes. On the fifth, the medicine he’d given me kicked in and I fell asleep with the sound of Bryce’s laughter in my ears and a huge smile on my face.
* * *
“Up, baby. Time for lunch.”
My eyes blinked open on a big, jaw-cracking yawn. The warm, solid pillow under my head shook on a laugh, and when I tipped my nec
k back to look up, across the wide T-shirt covered expanse of his chest, Bryce’s wintergreens were grinning down at me. I wasn’t sure when I moved, but at some point in my sleep, I’d decided to wrap my whole body around the side of Bryce’s.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, pushing up to sitting and swiping the hair out of my face.
“Never apologize, Tessa. You’re welcome to use me as a pillow any time you like.” His tone told me he’d be more than happy with that. “Good nap?”
I let out another yawn. “Yeah. How long was I out?”
“Couple hours. Come on, you should eat something.”
I climbed off the bed and followed after him, looking at the spread of take-away containers on the table where we’d had breakfast. “When did you go get lunch?”
“Called the order in at the diner, explained what was up, and Sally had one of her waiters deliver it so I wouldn’t have to leave you.”
“That was really nice,” I said as I started pulling lids off, uncovering an assortment of food that smelled amazing. “That place is so good. I had no idea diner food could be so awesome.”
“Ralph knows what he’s doin’, that’s for damn sure.”
I looked up from dropping a big scoop of creamy mashed potatoes on my plate. “Ralph?”
“Yeah. The cook at Evergreen Diner. He and his wife Sally run the place, have for decades.”
“I’ve only been in twice,” I admitted. “I’ve met Sally, but not Ralph. She seems really sweet.”
He shook his head good-naturedly. “She’s sweet as pie when she’s not bustin’ her husband’s balls. Not that he doesn’t deserve it.”
“They don’t get along?”
“They get along great. Ralph’s just a wild man. If Sally didn’t keep him reined in, Lord only knows what kinda trouble he’d get himself into. He runs the kitchen and she runs the front of the house with him. They’re a trip. Two of the nicest people you’ll ever meet.”
I grabbed a piece of fried chicken and bit into it eagerly. “You know, I wasn’t really sure what to expect when I moved here. I’ve never done the small town thing before, but everyone I’ve met so far has been pretty great.”
“Hope Valley’s a good town full of good people. I moved here after getting out of the service and can’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else.”
“When was that?”
He looked up from his plate, confusion pulling at his features. “Huh?”
“When did you get out of the Navy?”
It was a simple question, but for some reason, it caused shutters to fall over his eyes. He delayed answering by taking a huge bite of one of the rolls and chewing slowly. Finally, he spoke, but his answer felt evasive. “A long time ago.”
When we were in Vegas he’d told me he’d be a SEAL until they kicked him out, hopefully at a ripe old age. There wasn’t anything else he wanted to do. His father and grandfather had both been sailors. He’s wanted to carry on that legacy for as long as humanly possible, so to find out, at thirty-eight he’d already been out for years was surprising. There were questions itching to fly off my tongue, but something about his demeanor warned me against pushing.
“So why Hope Valley?” I asked, giving him the change of subject he seemed to need. “I’ll admit, I’m surprised you didn’t go back to Georgia.” While we were in Vegas, he’d talked constantly about his family and growing up there, so I’d always assumed that was where he’d return when the time came.
“I came here because of Linc.”
“Linc.” I scanned my memory, trying to put a face to a name. “That’s Eden’s husband, right? Your boss?”
“That’d be him. I could’ve gone back to Georgia, but I knew my old man would’ve pushed me to work with him and my brothers. Nothin’ against construction, it’s a solid job, but for me, it would’ve been miserable. I thought about bein’ a cop for a while, but I couldn’t get past all the rules and red tape that came with that job. Having my hands tied like that would’ve eventually beaten me down.
“Lincoln started Alpha Omega when he left the Marines for two reasons. First, the private security aspect of this gig caters to our skill sets. We’re all highly trained, cool under pressure, and craved the adrenaline rush that came with being in the service. None of us could be glued to a desk for too long without goin’ crazy. We get to use our talents and don’t have to worry as much about rules and regulations stiflin’ what we do.”
Forgetting about my food completely, I rested my elbow on the table and propped my chin in my hand, giving him my full attention. “And the second reason he started the company?”
“He gets how hard it is for some of us to reacclimate to civilian life. Like I said, we can’t do desk jobs. There’s not a lot out there for men like us. Comin’ home isn’t always easy, so he only hires ex-military. We fit here. He’s given us a place to belong. We were part of something bigger than ourselves when we served, a brotherhood, and he gave that back to us with Alpha Omega.”
The backs of my eyes began to burn, and I had to blink to keep the tears at bay. “I think Lincoln might be my new favorite person,” I confessed, my voice raspy with emotion. “I’m thankful he made something he could give to you guys, and I’m really glad you found him.”
“Me too, beauty,” he replied softly.
We spent the rest of lunch in comfortable, even somewhat companionable, silence. It wasn’t a lack of things to talk about but an ease in the other’s presence that didn’t require words.
I didn’t think I’d ever feel that way around Bryce again, but he made it so damn easy.
We moved back to the bed and continued our Schitt’s Creek binge for the rest of the afternoon. Shortly after five my cell rang, and without me asking, he paused the show and moved to grab it so I didn’t have to get out of bed. Those stupid, useless walls surrounding my heart let out a groan, and a huge section crumbled to dust.
I checked the screen, and instantly sat up, my gut twisting into knots. “Miranda, hi.”
“Hey, Tessa. How are you.”
Miranda was Charity’s case manager, and a call from her usually meant bad things. “I’m good. What’s up?”
She let out a sigh, and my whole body went on high alert. Feeling the change in me, Bryce sat up as well, and from the corner of my eye, I saw him watching me closely.
“I’m sorry to call you like this. Diana told me you’ve been out sick, but I thought it best you hear this sooner, rather than later.”
“Okay,” I said hesitantly, that knot twisting and tightening.
“Charity had one of her scheduled visits with her mom this afternoon.” Shit. I knew she had a visit with her mom coming up, and I’d let it slip my mind. “It . . . didn’t go well.”
Squeezing my eyes closed, I dropped my head and pinched the bridge of my nose. The visits with her mom were never sunshine and rainbows, but recently, they’s begun to get even worse. After everything Ava Winslow had put her daughter through, Charity had reached the point where she hated those visits. Shortly before each scheduled date, she’d begin acting out, and after, she was a ticking bomb, just waiting to go off. “What happened?”
“Ms. Winslow arrived thirty minutes late for starters, and when she finally got there, she wasn’t alone.”
My back shot straight. “What do you mean, she wasn’t alone?”
“She brought her new boyfriend with her,” Miranda said, her tone holding an ominous note to it. “Claimed she wanted the man to meet his new daughter. However, it became clear right away that he was under the influence of something.”
“You’re kidding,” I snapped, my voice full of steel.
“I wish I was. It’s bad enough the poor girl is forced into those visits when she doesn’t want to go, but when I told Ms. Winslow that this visitation was cancelled because she didn’t adhere to the rules, she and her boyfriend made a scene in front of the entire restaurant.”
“How bad was it?” Miranda knew exactly what I was asking.
“Sh
e completely shut down. Didn’t say a word the entire drive back to Hope House and closed herself in her room the moment we got there. When I left, she still hadn’t come out.”
I let out an agitated sigh. “God, poor Charity.”
“I made the staff aware of what happened, so they’ll monitor her closely, but I felt you should know what you’re potentially walking in to tomorrow.”
“Thanks for the heads up, Miranda. I’ll do what I can on my end.”
“And I’ll do the same on mine. Have a good evening, Tessa. Hope you feel better.”
“Thanks. Talk soon.”
I hung up and dropped the phone to the bed, my shoulders slumping in defeat.
I felt Bryce’s hand press into the small of my back. It was amazing how that one gentle touch worked to calm my frayed nerves.
“Talk to me, honey. What’s goin’ on?”
“It’s one of my kids.” The exhale I let out sounded like it carried the weight of the world. I felt like two tons had been dropped on my shoulders, and I couldn’t move from beneath it. But damn if having Bryce there in that moment didn’t help some. “Charity Winslow. That girl I told you about? The one who was arrested for shoplifting.” He nodded, remembering who I was talking about. “Thirteen-year-old girl who’s been in and out of the system most of her life because her junkie mom can’t keep her shit together. She had a visit with her mom today. They never go well, mainly because Charity doesn’t want a damn thing to do with her mom anymore; she’s over it, not that I can blame her. But when her mom showed up with her drugged-out boyfriend in tow, the case manager shut it down. Apparently things got ugly after that.”
“Jesus, baby.”
“All this girl’s ever known is disappointment and heartbreak. She looks at herself and doesn’t think she’s good enough, that the person who’s supposed to love and protect her doesn’t care enough to stay sober so she can actually keep her. So what’s wrong with her, huh?” My eyes began to burn again, and instead of fighting the tears back, I let them build until they fell.
The Second Time Around: a Hope Valley novel Page 11
