Emergence

by Adrienne Gordon

  Melissa felt better. “Thanks. “

  Vincent squeezed her knee. “You should be with someone who wants you, for you.”

  Suddenly Melissa looked up into Vincent’s eyes, and saw only truth and sincerity. She suddenly felt not just warm, but hot, as the pit of her stomach tightened. His face came closer to hers, and in an instant she felt an animal attraction to him. Clumsily she threw her arms around him, and kissed him, and much to her surprise, he kissed her back.

  “I was wondering if you’d let me do that,” he said softly.

  “Why do you like me?” She regretted asking the question as soon as she uttered it. “Never mind -- don’t answer.”

  “No, I want to answer. You are so strong, Melissa, to stand up to my people, to help all of us when all we wanted to do was hurt you. Your whole world has been devastated, all your friends lost, and yet here you are, making music for us!”

  “Oh!” she squealed, “that reminds me.” She extended her sussa, and the music thumped back into existence, to the joyful squeals of those inside. She could hear them chant;

  “Lissa! Lissa!”

  She couldn’t help but laugh, and that was when he kissed her again. Except this time it was deeper and fuller, filled with an intricate dance of their tongues. As they kissed, he wiped the tears from her face with his hands, and ran his hands through her hair. For the first time, she wanted to feel her hand on a man’s chest, feel his heart thump against hers.

  “Do you want to try something with me?” he asked cautiously.

  “Anything.”

  “Are you sure?” he asked carefully.

  Melissa nodded, her eyes locked in his. She felt warm inside; felt the thrill from the opportunity for danger. “Anything you want.”

  “I know Daria gave you a bad impression of glleli, but it really is sweet. Not only can it change how one person feels, but when shared, it makes two people seem as one.” He stopped, and smiled at her, and she couldn’t help but smile back. “Do you want to share this with me? Do you want to be one with me?”

  “Yeah,” she answered eagerly, “more than anything.”

  She felt stupid again, but couldn’t help it. After Richard’s rejection, Vincent acted the perfect gentleman, and she felt as if she was in a dream. He brought out a small packet of blue leaves from his pocket, along with a small knife.

  “What’s that for?”

  “This is so our fluids can intermingle.” He cut a small slit on his forearm, a few inches long, and put a small cluster of the tiny leaves on the opening. “Now hold out your forearm, and do like I did.”

  Melissa pulled up her sleeve, and extended her arm. In her mind, a dim memory surfaced of pain exactly where she was about to cut. Faintly, she could recall the Freilux exploiting just that same spot.

  “Hurry up, Lissa! I’m gonna stop bleeding any second now.”

  “Oh . . . okay,” she said, looking back up into his deep, warm eyes. She reached out to take the small knife, and as she did, Yllinae’s voice screamed in her mind.

  Never cut yourself! Never inflict bodily harm upon yourself! It is a fatal mistake!

  Melissa knew it was wrong, but was desperate. Seeing all Daria’s friends dancing close and being intimate with one another made her jealous, and she knew she might not ever get another opportunity like this.

  She was probably exaggerating things, thought Melissa, as she took Vincent’s knife. It’s just a little cut -- how bad could it be?

  She pressed the blade against her skin, hesitating for a minute.

  “Don’t think about it, Melissa,” said Vincent softly. “Just draw it quickly across, and you won’t feel a thing.”

  She took a deep breath, and sliced across the skin, making a small cut, from which oozed a little blood.

  “See, that wasn’t so bad! Now let me put these leaves on you, and we’ll press our openings together.”

  Melissa held up her arm, laughing at her own worries, as Vincent pressed his arm against hers.

  “Now just relax Melissa, and let the glleli do its work.”

  She did, but began to feel extremely weak. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head, and she felt like she was falling over. She tried to grab onto something, but couldn’t close her hands or make a fist. Her heart thumped loudly and heavily, so much that she was worried Vincent would hear it. The center of her body felt warm, and the sensation was utterly intoxicating. Backward and backwards she fell into an invisible void, as Vincent’s face grew more and more sinister.

  “What a stupid Archsussa you are,” he hissed. Suddenly his eyes were of red fire, and his skin pulsed beneath his clothes. Through the shadows, Melissa could see his body change, his limbs looking more like slate, and two immense thick black wings spread out from behind his shoulders.

  Is this . . . is this what an Archsussa really looks like?

  “So soon after you did so much, after opening a temporal portal, you do these silly antics for these children? You have no reserves to fight me; nothing left to resist me!”

  To Melissa, she existed in an eternity of pain, both physical and emotional. Not only was her body dying, but she had been betrayed; had lowered her defenses, and the first time she did, she suffered.

  “The Freilux will be so happy to have you back.”

  “Why?” she screamed through a wall of tears. “I trusted you! I believed in you!”

  “Your father made my father suffer, and I will revenge myself upon his daughter. Oh, the arrogance of the Archsussa knows no bounds!”

  Melissa struggled to keep her consciousness afloat in the limitless void it was thrust into. “You sound just like your brother.”

  “I am nothing like him!” he yelled, “nothing at all!”

  “And I am nothing like my father,” she said weakly. “Where he only wanted to hurt, and to hoard power, I only want to heal, and make things right.” She moaned in pain. “Don’t do this, please . . .”

  Chapter 15

  Melissa felt she was conscious, but was genuinely scared to open her eyes. She lay somewhere, on something soft, but other than that she didn’t know what happened to her.

  Am I alive?

  A sharp pang of hunger was her answer.

  Yup.

  She sat up and opened her eyes, and found she was in her room. Daria sat beside her, along with Richard and Vincent.

  “You’re awake!” cried Daria. “Are you alright?”

  “Yeah . . . what happened?”

  “When the music went out, I went looking for you,” said Vincent. “I found you had collapsed, and had that cut on your arm.”

  Melissa stared intently at Vincent, trying to figure out what his game was. Is he going to pretend like all that didn’t happen? Is he really going to protect me, instead of turning me over to the Freilux?

  “Yeah,” said Melissa slowly, “I tripped on something and fell down -- I must have cut my arm on some rock or metal.”

  “Well, as long as you’re alright -- you gave everyone quite a scare.”

  “Sorry. I feel like such a fool! Was the whole party ruined?”

  “No!” cried Daria, “That was the best time any of us ever had!”

  Daria got up, and motioned Richard to do the same. “If you’re up for it, come down and join us for lunch. They’re making something special for you . . .”

  Daria opened the door to leave, but Richard stood there, a woefully pathetic expression on his face that made Melissa want to laugh.

  “I’m . . . sorry, Melissa, for what I said last night.”

  “Apologize all you want brother,” snapped Vincent, getting to his feet, “your lies don’t mean anything.”

  “Fuck you!”

  Richard shoved Vincent hard, so he fell off the bed. Vincent got up, grabbed him, and slammed him against the wall. While Richard was older, Vincent was stronger, and Melissa knew now he harbored some terrible power underneath his sheep’s clothing. “You fuck with me, I fuck you up!” he yelled.

  “Vincen
t -- no,” said Melissa, as she sat on the edge of the bed. “It’s alright -- just leave him alone.”

  Vincent roughly let him go, and Richard pushed him away, but before Vincent could respond, Daria got between them.

  “Come on, Richard, let’s leave them alone.”

  Vincent slammed the door behind them once they had left. He still hadn’t looked at Melissa, and even now, he leaned against the wall and centered his gaze on a piece of broken tile on the floor.

  “Why did you let me go?”

  He shrugged. “Dunno.”

  “Are you an Archsussa too?”

  “I honestly couldn’t tell you. I feel like I’m something in-between human and Archsussa. What I do know, for certain, is that like you, I am idelfada.”

  “A creation of the Freilux?”

  For the first time, he met her gaze and said; “yes.”

  “Of whom?” asked Melissa, worried yet interested. “You said my father hurt and killed your father?”

  “I am a resurrection of his son. More accurately, I am a copy of that resurrection. The Freilux could only maintain his body for a few seconds, but in that time, he made an idelfada. And that idelfada is me.”

  He must have used the Centric Sphere! But who knew he possessed that skill, that power?

  “So we’re the same?”

  “Yeah,” said Vincent. “Maybe that’s why I let you go. How’s your arm?”

  “Better.” She peeled away the bandage, and saw a long, purple bruise. She tried to use sussa to heal herself, but it only thinned the bruise. “I can’t heal fully.”

  “You never will. Didn’t anyone tell you never to cut yourself? An Archsussa can live for a very long time, by healing and rejuvenating themselves. But they always have the option to die, as a self-inflicted wound cannot be fully healed. If ever you face the Freilux, it is a weakness he will exploit.”

  “I think he already has.”

  “What do you mean?” asked Vicnent.

  “Nothing. Well . . . I felt this bruise a long time ago. It’s as if my body knew it would be here!”

  Vincent nodded. “I learned a long time ago that sussa enhances your intuition. You should never ignore your intuition.”

  Melissa stood and came close to Vincent. Unlike Richard, he didn’t move away. She could feel his heat, and memories of his other form, made of black shale with massive wings, made him immensely dangerous and utterly irresistible to her.

  “What kind of power do you have?”

  “I . . . can do things you might not have tried yet,” he said, running his hand along her forearm. “The Freilux schooled me well in the arts of sussa.” He grasped her right hand, and pulled her forearm up to his lips. She tried to pull away, but he said; “if I wanted to hurt you, I would have finished things back then.”

  He slowly kissed where the bruise was, and she instantly felt weak. It was as if her very soul was slipping out, through that bruise, and into Vincent’s lips.

  “It is said Archsussa long ago practiced unique forms of lovemaking. Some of it involved physical pain, before pleasure.”

  She pulled him against her, and kissed along his forehead, running her hands through his thick hair.

  “What about you . . . and me? What does your intuition tell you?”

  He pushed her away. “What am I doing? I can’t be with the daughter of Darian! I might have spared you, but that’s it!”

  He rushed out the door, slamming it behind him, and Melissa fell back on the bed, crying.

  When she finally managed to make it down to the dining hall, after washing up and a change of clothes, she was greeted by loud cheering. A veritable banquet was set out for her, and she was grateful for it. Even the adults on the periphery smiled at her, with many waving as she glanced at them.

  What have I become to them?

  It was then she saw Richard, sitting with a group of adult scientists. He met her gaze, and managed a limp wave.

  Why can’t I keep my eyes off him? He so stupid, so arrogant, so mean, but I just can’t look away. I hate him! Why can’t he just like me for who I am? I know I could change him. I know my sussa could change him, but I don’t want him that way. I don’t want him to be like . . . Asil.

  It was the first time in a long while she thought of her creation. It was as if she was hit with a hammer, as the memories of her time with Asil and the hlenna came flooding back. She suddenly felt that she had shirked an immense responsibility.

  “What are you thinking about?” asked Daria, who sat down next to her. Melissa turned to look at her, and thought;

  These people have learned a great deal over a number of years; what will my effect be to them? Will they stop learning, when I can divine things in an instant? Will they stop making their machines, when I can protect them or transport them without strain?

  “I don’t know.”

  “Vincent?”

  Melissa moaned. “Why are boys so damned difficult?”

  “Because they’re boys!” cried Daria.

  They both laughed, and Daria gave her a long, tight hug.

  “Besides, what fun would it be if things were easy?” asked Daria. “Sometimes I think I’d like to be with Richard, but other times I see the other boys at school, and . . . well . . .”

  “I miss school. Never thought I’d say that.”

  “Oh yeah, I never think about all you must have left behind. Did you ever try to find out if your friends survived?”

  “That would mean going back to Imathrin, and the Freilux. I guess that’s another reason to fight; so I can see my friends again.”

  “Well, you can always got o school with us!” cried Daria, getting excited. “Classes start up again in a week. I mean, now that you’re a citizen, and one of us, why not do as we do? You can always make new friends, and --”

  Melissa took a deep breath, and said; “Daria, there is something you still don’t know about me; like there was something you didn’t know about Richard.” Daria set down her fork, and Melissa felt her intense gaze. “I . . . I’m not real.”

  Daria looked at her quizzically.

  “I . . . I am a creation of another. For most of my life, I thought I was Melissa. But after the fall of the Levitating Cities, after I ran from the Freilux and set out on my own, I learned that I am merely a copy of another. I am an echo, Daria, and when Richard or anyone else finds out, no matter what scientific secrets I could help uncover, no one will ever want to be with me. Your people could accept an Archsussa, but I doubt they could accept an idelfada; a creation of another.”

  She could see a small degree of relief spread over Daria’s face, and it only made her feel sick.

  “Thank you for telling me. Why did you? You could keep it a secret, and no one would ever know.”

  “Richard and Sliona were right all along,” explained Melissa, “about the temptation of the Archsussa. Look at what I’ve done! You showed me your fête, and I changed it to what I like, with a blink of the eye. While I see happiness on everyone’s face, I also see expectation; what will I do next, and whom will I do it for? Your people’s uniqueness would dissolve in less than a month on a Levitating City, and if I stayed this might as well become one. All your individuality would be lost, and with it all your desire to learn more and better yourselves. I need to leave; I have worn out my welcome.”

  Daria put her hand gently on Melissa’s. “Don’t go. I’m sorry about what happened with Richard, but don’t make that the reason you leave. I really do like having you as a friend, and perhaps you give us too little credit; we have lived this long in isolation, perhaps we will adapt to you and you to us, and we can live in some kind of balance.”

  “No,” replied Melissa, her mind now firmly decided. “Thank you, but no. I am still so greedy. I wouldn’t survive as your Archsussa; the power I wield would be my undoing. I must go back, to my home, back to my brother, back to face the Freilux. I feel like I just got a warning, about how powerful and insidious the Freilux is.”

&nbs
p; “Lissa . . . this scares you, doesn’t it?” asked Daria, concerned. “After all you have done, facing us, taking Richard back through time, standing up to the Overmen you described, you’re still anxious?”

  Melissa finally broke down, letting loose the floodgates of tears. “You just don’t know, Daria. I am scared at every turn; I feel my death or dishonor stalks me, and with one misstep it will claim me. I have struggled against the Freilux, struggled to learn after my mother died, struggled to escape from you when I thought you would dissect me, and struggled to get back my ability to use sussa.” She took a deep breath. “I have survived, but fear walks with me, it covers me like a blanket when I sleep and like a bitter vapor while awake.”

  Daria held her hand and said; “in life, it is not enough to merely survive; one must thrive, and triumph. Perhaps that is why I will stand by Richard’s side, no matter what he has done. He may have cheated, but he also hungers for a better life, strives to conquer what is thrown against him. You must do the same, Archsussa. Conquer what stands before you, no matter how you must do it, no matter the cost. It will be better than if you merely endured it, and accepted the unbearable pressure of living.”

  “Sometimes I think you might yield to that pressure,” whispered Melissa.

  The smile vanished from Daria’s face, and she propped her elbows on the table and hung her head in-between, her long hair covering her face. “I just get sad sometimes. It can be either really boring here, or really painful. It’s always cold, there is always snow, and Richard is always distant.” Melissa saw a few drops of fluid fall from Daria’s face. “I just get tired. I mean, I love my mother and father, but they’re so distant too. Before you came, I felt all alone.”

  Melissa held her hand. “Before I met you, I was all alone.”

  Daria abruptly flung back her head, wiped off the tears, and plastered on a big smile. “But you’re going, now, and I have to be happy for you. I have to hope you’ll win, and come back, so we can be friends again. But . . . what if you win? Will you live on Imathrin again?”