[Lady Justice 06] - Lady Justice and Dr. Death

by Robert Thornhill

  I turned toward the light and saw a figure approaching out of its brilliance.

  At first, I couldn’t distinguish the features of the apparition, but when it spoke, I recognized the voice.

  “She’s quite a gal, isn’t she Walter?”

  Then, the voice and the figure blended into one.

  “Mom! Is that you?”

  “Yes, Walter. It’s your mother.”

  I moved forward to embrace her, but she held up her hand.

  “Sorry, son, but at this time, think of our meeting like when you were undercover as a ‘john’ at the Red Garter --- looky but no touchy.”

  “You know about that?”

  “Of course I know. You’re my son.”

  “So you’re coming to me from --- where --- heaven?”

  “Sure, let’s call it that.”

  I had read about people who had died and were met by loved ones who led them into the light.

  “So are you here to get me? Am I dying?”

  “My goodness no. It’s not your time yet.”

  “So what’s it like --- up there --- over there --- I’m not quite sure of the terminology.”

  “I know it’s confusing. Just try to think of it as an altered state of consciousness.”

  “Yeah, that certainly clears everything up. But what’s it like?”

  “Unfortunately, this is a lot like the CIA. I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you ---- just kidding!”

  I didn’t remember Mom having such a warped sense of humor. Maybe that’s where I got it.

  “So what happened to me?”

  “You don’t remember being pitched off the roof of the parking garage by a couple of goons?”

  “Of course I do. I was falling and --- and then there was that damn tamale cart.”

  “First of all, please watch your language,” she said, looking over her shoulder. “Someone might be listening.”

  “So there really is a Big Guy?”

  “Let’s just say that there’s an awful lot of stuff going on up here and somebody has to organize it.”

  “So if there’s a heaven, is there a hell as well?”

  “Oh, there’s definitely a hell. I had to sit through a Miley Cyrus concert the other night.”

  I guessed that hell was different things to different people.

  “So let’s get back to what happened to me.”

  “Oh, right. The tamale cart! You have no idea how much trouble it was to get that cart under you at exactly the right moment. The tamale vendor was ogling some chick and we had to employ some desperate measures.”

  “We? You said ‘we’?”

  “Sure, your grandfather and me.”

  “Grandpa is involved in all this stuff too?”

  “Well sure. I used to be able to handle most everything, but since you got that wild hair to become a cop, I needed some extra help.”

  “Where is Grandpa? Can I see him?”

  “No, not this time, but someday for sure.”

  “So you needed extra help --- doing what exactly?”

  “Keeping your scrawny butt out of a sling. You keep getting in all those scrapes. Somebody has to pull your fat out of the fire.”

  I tried to ignore her mixed metaphors.

  “What scrapes are you talking about?”

  “Well, just the other day, you were about to be flash frozen in the morgue and as I recall, your last act was to send a cell phone message to Ox. Do you have any idea what your grandpa and I had to go through to get you enough bars to get that signal out of that freezer in the basement of that building?”

  “You can actually do that?”

  “And that’s not all. Let’s talk about your honeymoon in Hawaii. You just had to scale down a vertical cliff in a volcanic crater. What were you thinking? We worked overtime that day.

  “And don’t forget the lizards. Do you know how difficult it is to train lizards?”

  “So you do animals too?”

  “Of course. Cats are the worst and, naturally, you had to use a cat to take out the hawk-faced man at Dr. Pearson’s house. Have you ever tried herding cats?”

  “So it wasn’t just a coincidence that I stepped on that cat’s tail at just the right moment?”

  She smiled. “Son, there’s really no such thing as a coincidence.”

  “So, are you and Grandpa --- like --- angels?”

  “Sure, let’s call it that.”

  I wished that she would stop using that phrase.

  “We brought you into this world. Just because we croak doesn’t mean that our job is over. I’ll be your mom forever, no matter how old you are.”

  It was actually a very comforting thought.

  “Oh, when you get back, tell your dad that I said 'hello.' and give my best to Bernice.”

  “You know about Dad and Bernice?”

  “Of course I know. Not much gets by us up here.”

  “And you’re OK with it?”

  “We look at things from a different perspective. Your dad may have been a crappy husband and father, but he has a good heart.

  “I know now that he loved us both and that’s what matters.”

  “So you’ve forgiven him?”

  “That’s what we do.

  “Oh, and one more thing. Tell Willie that his grandparents are really proud of the exhibit that he donated to the St. Clair County Museum. His family was a big part of the history of that area and now their story will be available for generations to come.”

  I knew that would please my little friend.

  He had never known his grandparents even existed and now to be told that they were proud of him would mean the world to him.

  We noticed some movement below. Maggie got up, stretched and sat back down beside the bed.

  “You got yourself a good one there, son. What took you so long to pop the question?”

  “I guess I just wanted to be sure we were doing the right thing.”

  “Well, based on what I’ve seen, you two are doing everything just right.”

  “Everything? What do you mean by everything? You see EVERYTHING?”

  “Well we could. We’re interested and we’re concerned, but we’re not voyeurs.”

  “Gee, that’s a comfort.”

  Just then, there was a fluctuation in the bright light behind her.

  “That’s my cue,” she said. “Like when they dim the lights at a play just before the curtain goes up. My time is about up.”

  “So what happens now?” I asked.

  “Now it’s time to return to your world; time to get back to Maggie.”

  “You never did tell me what happened when I hit the tamale cart.”

  “Well, thanks to my perfect timing, you bounced off that umbrella like it was a trampoline. Unfortunately, your dismount wasn’t that great.

  “You have a couple of cracked ribs, some bruises and you whacked your head on the sidewalk.”

  I felt my head and ribs.

  “How come I don’t hurt?”

  “Because right now, your spirit is free from the limitations of your earthly body. Trust me, when you go back you’re going to hurt.

  “Oh, I almost forgot. You’ve got a job to do.”

  “Already? I’m still in a coma.”

  “Not for long. Don’t you want to get those two goons who tossed you off the roof?”

  “I think I got one of them pretty good already. I seem to recall hurling on him just before he hurled me.”

  “Yes, that was a nice touch,” she said, smiling.

  “So what’s the job?”

  “The goons aren’t finished yet. You and Agent Backburn were both thorns in the side of the drug giants. They think they’ve taken care of you and now they’re gunning for Blackburn.”

  “So what do I do?”

  “Just keep your eyes open. You’ll know.”

  The bright light fluxed again.

  “Time to go,” she said.

  “Will I see you again?”

>   “When the time is right.”

  “I love you, Mom, and I miss you.”

  “I love you too, Walt. Always will.”

  Then she turned and disappeared into the light.

  CHAPTER 15

  When I opened my eyes again, I was lying in the hospital bed and I was pretty certain that my spirit had reunited with my body, because I hurt like hell.

  The memory of my out-of-body experience was still fresh in my mind and the warm feeling that I had from seeing and talking to my mother made the pain more bearable.

  I looked around the room for Maggie, but she was not there.

  Then I heard the toilet flush and saw her coming toward me.

  I tried to speak, but the oxygen mask covering my face muffled the sound.

  She sat down beside the bed and when she held my hand, I gave it my best squeeze.

  Her eyes met mine and I gave her a wink.

  She burst into tears and laid her head on my chest.

  “Oh Walt. I thought I’d lost you.”

  “Mwwuummph,” was all I could say from behind the mask.

  Maggie pulled the cord attached to the bed and a burly nurse strode into the room.

  My first thought was, Why do all my nurses have to look like Nurse Ratchett?

  “So our boy’s awake,” she said, flashing a penlight in my eyes.

  “How many fingers?” she asked, holding up two.

  “Murrromph,” I replied.

  She lifted the mask off my face.

  “Two!”

  “How do you feel?”

  “Like I just fell six stories from a parking garage. Other than that, fine.”

  “Sense of humor. Good sign,” she said.

  She was about to re-mask me.

  “Can you please leave that off? I can breathe just fine --- well maybe except for the pain in my ribs.”

  She checked the monitors.

  “Sure.”

  Having regained full consciousness, I became aware of a strange sensation in my private parts.

  I looked at Maggie. “Mr. Winky! He didn’t get crushed, did he?”

  “No silly. You have a catheter.”

  I had heard of those things before and they terrified me.

  “How --- who hooked me up?”

  Nurse Ratchett smiled a knowing smile. “That would be me.”

  Swell, I thought. There’s no such thing as dignity in a hospital.

  After she had finished probing and poking, the nurse left the room.

  “How long have I been here?” I asked.

  “This is the second day. I’m so relieved. The doctor wasn’t sure that you’d wake up at all.”

  “You can’t get rid of me that easy.”

  Seeing that I was back among the living, Maggie pulled out her phone.

  “I promised everyone that I would call as soon as you woke up. I’m going to make those calls. You just rest.”

  She made the calls and that initiated a flood of visitors.

  Friends, family, cops and even old realtor friends stopped by to wish me well.

  Each one, of course, had to bring a flower or a balloon of some sort and before long, my room looked like kid’s day at Chuckie Cheese.

  The captain was one of my first visitors.

  He brought a stenographer to take my statement about the abduction and attempted murder.

  When I told him what the thug had said about pissing off some very powerful people in the drug industry, he was furious.

  “We have to catch those guys and find out who hired them. Unless we can tie these assassins to one of the executives, they’ll just keep coming after our people.”

  He had mug books delivered to the hospital and I spent hours looking at photos of scumbags, but they just weren’t there.

  On a lighter note, he pointed out that this was the third tamale cart that the City had to buy for Jim’s Famous Tamales.

  In addition to the one I had just squashed, another had been blown up during the Gay Pride Parade and I had t-boned a third one while driving a bomb in a trolley car to Loose Park Lake.

  On one occasion, Dad had stopped by.

  It was just the two of us.

  I hadn’t told anyone, not even Maggie, about my encounter with my mother, but I figured Dad had the right to know.

  “Dad, something very strange occurred while I was in the coma. I saw and spoke to Mom.”

  “You --- you saw your mother? How?”

  “I have no idea how. I just know that I did and she was as real as you are right now.”

  “Was she --- happy?”

  “Yes, very much so, and she asked me to give you a message.”

  Dad watched me expectantly.

  “She wanted you to know that whatever happened between the two of you, she forgives you and she wants you to be happy too. You and Bernice have her blessing.”

  Dad crumbled.

  He put his head in his arms on the side of my bed and wept.

  “I never meant to hurt her --- not on purpose. I loved her, but I was just a dumb shit with my head up my ass. I have wished a thousand times that I could do it all over --- for her and for you.”

  “She wanted to lift that burden off your shoulders and give you peace.”

  “Thank you,” he said. “Thank you both.”

  I had never really seen the true power of forgiveness, but after watching my dad that day, I figured that maybe the Big Guy had things pretty well under control after all.

  The doctor was amazed that an old guy like me could recuperate so quickly.

  Maggie, of course, attributed it to my new regimen of healthy food and supplements.

  I didn’t argue.

  Then one morning, after the doctor had looked me over from stem to stern, he declared that I was fit to travel.

  I called Maggie and gave her the good news.

  She was devastated that she was tied up with clients all day.

  I told her not to worry. I would call Ox. He would get me home and I would see her later.

  I made the call and was about to change from that disgusting gown into my civvies, when Agent Blackburn walked into the room.

  “Hey, Walt. Sorry I haven’t been here to see you sooner. The brass has kept me pretty tied up with the elderberry thing. We’re making some progress. We’ve got some of the corporate fat cats and shady politicians shaking in their boots.”

  “Good to hear,” I said. “I suppose you know that they were the ones who had me tossed off the roof.”

  “I did know that and we’ve been trying to get a lead on those two, but they’ve gone underground.”

  Then I remembered what my mother had said.

  “You do realize that they’re probably after you too.”

  “As soon as we heard about the attempt on your life, the Bureau assigned teams to watch my back around the clock. There’s been no sign of anyone.”

  “So where are your guys now?” I asked, looking around.

  “They’re taking a break. We figured I’d be safe in the hospital. They’ll pick me up outside.”

  “Well, you watch your back. I’ve been released and Ox will be here in a few minutes to take me home.”

  “Then I’ll get out of your hair. As always, it was a pleasure doing business with you. Maybe we can do it again some day.”

  “Sure. Anytime you need a cadaver, just give me a call.”

  He laughed and waved and was on his way.

  I watched him leave and as soon as he was out of my door, two men in lab coats walked up on either side of him.

  I saw one of them press something into his back and whisper in his ear.

  The other turned and glanced down the hall.

  I saw his face and recognized him as one of the goons who had given me flying lessons.

  Blackburn was being abducted and his backup was nowhere in sight.

  At that moment Ox walked in the door.

  “Hey partner. Are you ready to make like a hockey player and get the puck
out of here?”

  “Ox,” I said pointing, “that’s Agent Blackburn and he’s being abducted. I think they have a gun in his back.”

  “OK,” he said. “Let’s figure this out.”

  Just then, a portly orderly was wheeling an empty gurney down the hall.

  “Quick,” I said, “give me your badge and your gun.”

  Ox handed them over and I flagged down the orderly.

  I showed him the badge.

  “Kansas City Police. We need your gurney and your scrubs --- NOW!”

  The orderly stripped and I tossed the scrubs to Ox.

  “Put these on. Quick!”

  He slipped on the scrubs and I crawled under the sheet on the gurney.

  “This hallway is a big circle. Go the opposite of the way they took Blackburn and we’ll cut them off before they reach the elevator. Step on it!”

  Ox barreled down the hallway dodging doctors, patients and nurses.

  He swerved around the first corner and almost took out an old guy pushing his saline rack.

  We rounded the second corner and saw Blackburn and the two goons heading our way.

  As we approached, I sat up on the gurney and caught Blackburn’s eye.

  He recognized us and nodded.

  When we were just a few feet from the trio, I threw back the sheet and leveled Ox’s pistol at one of the goons.

  “Kansas City Police. Drop your gun and put your hands in the air.”

  Blackburn did one of those fancy twisty turns that they teach you at Quantico and had the guy with the gun on the floor.

  The second guy turned to run, but Ox was on him in a flash.

  After they were both in cuffs, one of them gave me a close look.

  “I thought you was dead!”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I’ve been getting that a lot lately. Maybe someday, but not today.”

  CHAPTER 16

  My hospital release was delayed by the debriefing and paperwork involved with the two assassins.

  But finally, everything was wrapped up and Ox drove me home.

  Everyone in the building wanted to throw another ‘Welcome Home Walt’ party, but Maggie had persuaded them to give it a rest and let me settle in peacefully.

  We enjoyed a leisurely supper and Maggie caught me up on her activities while I had been hospitalized.

  Toward the end of the evening, Maggie inquired as to whether my body had recuperated sufficiently to engage in some activities of a more intimate nature.