Joe's Luck; Or, Always Wide Awake

by Jr. Horatio Alger

  "Go ahead. It's your deal."

  "You see, the summer I was eighteen, my cousin worked for dad hayin'time. He was a little older'n me, and he had a powerful appetite,Bill had. If it wasn't for that, he'd 'a' been a nice feller enough,but at the table he always wanted more than his share of wittles.Now, that ain't fair, no ways--think it is, stranger?"

  "No! Go ahead with your story."

  "One day we sat down to dinner. Marm had made some apple-dumplin'that day, and 'twas good, you bet. Well, I see Bill a-eyin' thedumplin' as he shoveled in the meat and pertaters, and I knowed hemeant to get more'n his share. Now, I'm fond of dumplin' as well asBill, and I didn't like it. Well, we was both helped and went toeatin'. When I was half through I got up to pour out some water.When I cum back to the table Bill had put away his plate, which hehad cleaned off, and was eatin' my dumplin'."

  "What did you say?" inquired the gentleman from Pike, interested.

  "I said: 'Bill, you're my cousin, but you've gone too fur.' Helaffed, and we went into the field together to mow. He was juststartin' on his swath when I cum behind him and cut his head cleanoff with my scythe."

  Joe had difficulty in suppressing his laughter, but Mr. Bickfordlooked perfectly serious.

  "Why, that was butchery!" exclaimed the Pike man, startled. "Cut offhis head with a scythe?"

  "I hated to, bein' as he was my cousin," said Joshua, "but I couldn'thave him cum any of them tricks on me. I don't see as it's any wussthan shootin' a man."

  "What did you do with his body?" asked Joe, commanding his voice.

  "Bein' as 'twas warm weather, I thought I'd better bury him at once."

  "Were you arrested?"

  "Yes, and tried for murder, but my lawyer proved that I was crazywhen I did it, and so I got off."

  "Do such things often happen at the North?" asked the Pike County man.

  "Not so often as out here and down South, I guess," said Joshua."It's harder to get off. Sometimes a man gets hanged up North forhandlin' his gun too careless."

  "Did you ever kill anybody else?" asked the Pike man, eying Joshuarather uneasily.

  "No," said Mr. Bickford. "I shot one man in the leg and another inthe arm, but that warn't anything serious."

  It was hard to disbelieve Joshua, he spoke with such apparentfrankness and sincerity. The man from Pike County was evidentlypuzzled, and told no more stories of his own prowess. Conversation,died away, and presently all three were asleep.

  CHAPTER XXVIII

  THE EVENTS OF A NIGHT

  The Pike County man was the first to fall asleep. Joe and Mr.Bickford lay about a rod distant from him. When their new comrade'sregular breathing, assured Joe that he was asleep, he said:

  "Mr. Bickford, what do you think of this man who has joined us?"

  "I think he's the biggest liar I ever set eyes on," said Joshuabluntly.

  "Then you don't believe his stories?"

  "No--do you?"

  "I believe them as much as that yarn of yours about your CousinBill," returned Joe, laughing.

  "I wanted to give him as good as he sent. I didn't want him to doall the lyin'."

  "And you a deacon's son!" exclaimed Joe, in comic expostulation.

  "I don't know what the old man would have said if he'd heard me, orCousin Bill, either."

  "Then one part is true--you have a Cousin Bill?"

  "That isn't the only part that's true; he did help me and dad hayin'."

  "But his head is still safe on his shoulders?"

  "I hope so."

  "I don't think we can find as much truth in the story of our friendover yonder."

  "Nor I. If there was a prize offered for tall lyin' I guess he'dstand a good chance to get it."

  "Do you know, Joshua, fire-eater as he is, I suspect that he is acoward."

  "You do?"

  "Yes, and I have a mind to put him to the test."

  "How will you do it?"

  "One day an old hunter came into my restaurant, and kept coming for aweek. He was once taken prisoner by the Indians, and remained intheir hands for three months. He taught me the Indian war-whoop, andout of curiosity I practised it till I can do it pretty well."

  "What's your plan?"

  "To have you fire off your gun so as to wake him up. Then I willgive a loud war-whoop and see how it affects the gentleman from PikeCounty."

  "He may shoot us before he finds out the deception."

  "It will be well first to remove his revolver to make all safe. Iwish you could give the war-whoop, too. It would make a loudernoise."

  "How do you do it?"

  Joe explained.

  "I guess I can do it. You start it, and I'll j'in in, just as I usedto do in singin' at meetin'. I never could steer through a tunestraight by myself, but when the choir got to goin', I helped 'em allI could."

  "I guess you can do it. Now let us make ready."

  The Pike County man's revolver was removed while he was unconsciouslysleeping. Then Joshua and our hero ensconced themselves behindtrees, and the Yankee fired his gun.

  The Pike man started up, still half asleep and wholly bewildered,when within a rod of him he heard the dreadful war-whoop. Thenanother more discordant voice took up the fearful cry. Joshua didvery well considering that it was his first attempt.

  Then the man from Pike County sprang to his feet. If it had beendaylight, his face would have been seen to wear a pale and scaredexpression. It did not appear to occur to him to make a standagainst the savage foes who he felt convinced were near at hand. Hestood not on the order of going, but went at once. He quicklyunloosed his beast, sprang upon his back, and galloped away withoutapparently giving a thought to the companions with whom he had campedout.

  When he was out of hearing Joe and Bickford shouted with laughter.

  "You see I was right," said Joe. "The man's a coward."

  "He seemed in a hurry to get away," said Joshua dryly. "He's thebiggest humbug out."

  "I thought so as soon as he began to brag so much."

  "I believed his yarns at first," admitted Joshua. "I thought he wasrather a dangerous fellow to travel with."

  "He looked like a desperado, certainly," said Joe, "but appearancesare deceitful. It's all swagger and no real courage."

  "Well, what shall we do now, Joe?"

  "Lie down again and go to sleep."

  "The man's gone off without his revolver."

  "He'll be back for it within a day or two. We shall be sure to fallin with him again. I shan't lose my sleep worrying about him."

  The two threw themselves once more on the ground, and were soon fastasleep.

  * * * * *

  Joe proved to be correct in his prediction concerning thereappearance of their terrified companion.

  The next morning, when they were sitting at breakfast--that is,sitting under a tree with their repast spread out on a paper betweenthem--the man from Pike County rode up. He looked haggard, as wellhe might, not having ventured to sleep for fear of the Indians, andhis horse seemed weary and dragged out.

  "Where have you been?" asked Mr. Bickford innocently.

  "Chasin' the Indians," said the Rip-tail Roarer, swinging himselffrom his saddle.

  "Sho! Be there any Indians about here?"

  "Didn't you hear them last night?" inquired the man from Pike.

  "No."

  "Nor you?" turning to Joe.

  "I heard nothing of any Indians," replied Joe truthfully.

  "Then all I can say is, strangers, that you sleep uncommon sound."

  "Nothing wakes me up," said Bickford. "What about them Indians? Didyou railly see any?"

  "I rather think I did," said the man from Pike. "It couldn't havebeen much after midnight when I was aroused by their war-whoop.Starting up, I saw twenty of the red devils riding through the canon."

  "Were you afraid?"

  "Afraid!" exclaimed the man from Pike contemptuously. "The Rip-tailRoarer knows not
fear. I can whip my weight in wildcats------"

  "Yes, I know you can," interrupted Joshua. "You told us soyesterday."

  The man from Pike seemed rather annoyed at the interruption, but asMr. Bickford appeared to credit his statement he had no excuse forquarreling.

  He proceeded.

  "Instantly I sprung to the back of my steed and gave them chase."

  "Did they see you?"

  "They did."

  "Why didn't they turn upon you? You said there were twenty of them."

  "Why?" repeated the Pike man boastfully. "They were afraid. Theyrecognized me as the Rip-tail Roarer. They knew that I had sent morethan fifty Indians to the happy hunting-grounds, and alone as I wasthey fled."

  "Sho!"

  "Did you kill any of them?" asked Joe.

  "When I was some distance on my way I found I had left my revolverbehind. Did you find it, stranger?"

  "There it is," said Joshua, who had replaced it on the ground closeto where the Pike man had slept.

  He took it with satisfaction and replaced it in his girdle.

  "Then you didn't kill any?"

  "No, but I drove them away. They won't trouble you any more."

  "That's a comfort," said Joshua.

  "Now, strangers, if you've got any breakfast to spare, I think Icould eat some."

  "Set up, old man," said Mr. Bickford, with his mouth full.

  The man from Pike did full justice to the meal. Then he asked histwo companions, as a favor, not to start for two hours, during whichhe lay down and rested.

  The three kept together that day, but did not accomplish as muchdistance as usual, chiefly because of the condition of theircompanion's horse.

  At night they camped out again. In the morning an unpleasantsurprise awaited them. Their companion had disappeared, taking withhim Joshua's horse and leaving instead his own sorry nag. That wasnot all. He had carried off their bag of provisions, and morningfound them destitute of food, with a hearty appetite and many milesaway, as they judged, from any settlement.

  "The mean skunk!" said Joshua. "He's cleaned us out. What shall wedo?"

  "I don't know," said Joe seriously.

  CHAPTER XXIX

  JOHN CHINAMAN

  The two friends felt themselves to be in a serious strait. Theexchange of horses was annoying, but it would only lengthen theirjourney a little. The loss of their whole stock of provisions couldnot so readily be made up.

  "I feel holler," said Joshua. "I never could do much beforebreakfast. I wish I'd eat more supper. I would have done it, only Iwas afraid, by the way that skunk pitched into 'em, we wouldn't haveenough to last."

  "You only saved them for him, it seems," said Joe. "He has certainlymade a poor return for our kindness."

  "If I could only wring his neck, I wouldn't feel quite so hungry,"said Joshua.

  "Or cut his head off with a scythe," suggested Joe, smiling faintly.

  "Danged if I wouldn't do it," said Mr. Bickford, hunger making himbloodthirsty.

  "We may overtake him, Mr. Bickford."

  "You may, Joe, but I can't. He's left me his horse, which is cleantuckered out, and never was any great shakes to begin with. I don'tbelieve I can get ten miles out of him from now till sunset."

  "We must keep together, no matter how slow we go. It won't do for usto be parted."

  "We shall starve together likely enough," said Joshua mournfully.

  "I've heard that the French eat horse-flesh. If it comes to theworst, we can kill your horse and try a horse-steak."

  "It's all he's fit for, and he ain't fit for that. We'll move on fora couple of hours and see if somethin' won't turn up. I tell you,Joe, I'd give all the money I've got for some of marm's johnny-cakes.It makes me feel hungrier whenever I think of 'em."

  "I sympathize with you, Joshua," said Joe. "We may as well be movin'on, as you suggest. We may come to some cabin, or party oftravelers."

  So they mounted their beasts and started. Joe went ahead, for hisanimal was much better than the sorry nag which Mr. Bickfordbestrode. The latter walked along with an air of dejection, as iflife were a burden to him.

  "If I had this critter at home, Joe, I'll tell you what I'd do withhim," said Mr. Bickford, after a pause.

  "Well, what would you do with him?"

  "I'd sell him to a sexton. He'd be a first-class animal to go tofunerals. No danger of his runnin' away with the hearse."

  "You are not so hungry but you can joke, Joshua."

  "It's no joke," returned Mr. Bickford. "If we don't raise a supplyof provisions soon, I shall have to attend my own funeral. My mindkeeps running on them johnny-cakes."

  They rode on rather soberly, for the exercise and the fresh morningair increased their appetites, which were keen when they started.

  Mr. Bickford no longer felt like joking, and Joe at every step lookedanxiously around him, in the hope of espying relief.

  On a sudden, Mr. Bickford rose in his Stirrups and exclaimed in atone of excitement:

  "I see a cabin!"

  "Where?"

  "Yonder," said the Yankee, pointing to a one-story shanty, perhaps aquarter of a mile away.

  "Is it inhabited, I wonder?"

  "I don't know. Let us go and see."

  The two spurred their horses, and at length reached the rude buildingwhich had inspired them with hope. The door was open, but no one wasvisible.

  Joshua was off his horse in a twinkling and peered in.

  "Hooray!" he shouted in rejoicing accents. "Breakfast's ready."

  "What do you mean?"

  "I mean that I've found something to eat."

  On a rude table was an earthen platter full of boiled rice and astale loaf beside it.

  "Pitch in, Joe," said Joshua. "I'm as hungry as a wolf."

  "This food belongs to somebody. I suppose we have no right to it."

  "Right be hanged. A starving man has a right to eat whatever he canfind."

  "Suppose it belongs to a fire-eater, or a man from Pike County?"

  "We'll eat first and fight afterward."

  Joe did not feel like arguing the matter. There was an advocatewithin him which forcibly emphasized Joshua's arguments, and hejoined in the banquet.

  "This bread is dry as a chip," said Mr. Bickford. "But no matter. Inever thought dry bread would taste so good. I always thought ricewas mean vittles, but it goes to the right place just now."

  "I wonder if any one will have to go hungry on our account?" said Joe.

  "I hope not, but I can't help it," returned Mr. Bickford."Necessity's the fust law of nature, Joe. I feel twice as strong asI did twenty minutes ago."

  "There's nothing like a full stomach, Joshua. I wonder to whom weare indebted for this repast?"

  Joe was not long in having his query answered. An exclamation, as ofone startled, called the attention of the two friends to the doorway,where, with a terrified face, stood a Chinaman, his broad faceindicating alarm.

  "It's a heathen Chinee, by gosh!" exclaimed Joshua.

  Even at that time Chinese immigrants had begun to arrive in SanFrancisco, and the sight was not wholly new either to Joshua or Joe.

  "Good morning, John," said our young hero pleasantly.

  "Good morning, heathen," said Mr. Bickford. "We thought we'd comeround and make you a mornin' call. Is your family well?"

  The Chinaman was reassured by the friendly tone of his visitors, andventured to step in. He at once saw that the food which he hadprepared for himself had disappeared.

  "Melican man eat John's dinner," he remarked in a tone ofdisappointment.

  "So we have, John," said Mr. Bickford. "The fact is, we werehungry--hadn't had any breakfast."

  "Suppose Melican man eat--he pay," said the Chinaman.

  "That's all right," said Joe; "we are willing to pay. How much doyou want?"

  The Chinaman named his price, which was not unreasonable, and it wascheerfully paid.

  "Have you got some
more bread and rice, John?" asked Mr. Bickford."We'd like to buy some and take it along."

  They succeeded in purchasing a small supply--enough with economy tolast a day or two. This was felt as a decided relief. In two daysthey might fall in with another party of miners or come across asettlement.

  They ascertained on inquiry that the Chinaman and another of hisnationality had come out like themselves to search for gold. Theyhad a claim at a short distance from which they had obtained a smallsupply of gold. The cabin they had found in its present condition.It had been erected and deserted the previous year by a party ofwhite miners, who were not so easily satisfied as the two Chinamen.

  "Well," said Joshua, after they had started on their way, "that's thefirst time I ever dined at a Chinee hotel."

  "We were lucky in coming across it," said Joe.

  "The poor fellow looked frightened when he saw us gobblin' up hisprovisions," said Mr. Bickford, laughing at the recollection.

  "But we left him pretty well satisfied. We didn't treat him as thegentleman from Pike treated us."

  "No--I wouldn't be so mean as that darned skunk. It makes me madwhenever I look at this consumptive boss he's left behind."

  "You didn't make much out of that horse trade, Mr. Bickford."

  "I didn't, but I'll get even with him some time if we ever meetagain."

  "Do you know where he was bound?"