“I can’t die.” I curl my fingers, holding on to Kade with a near death grip. “At least not while holding a piece of your soul.”
“I can’t promise you won’t. I can’t promise I won’t lose my head or my heart. I wish I could, but I can’t. As alpha, I’ll forever be at risk, and so will you if we complete our bond. That’s why I need you to choose us. Not me. Us. That’s why I willingly gave you a piece of my soul after I walked through yours and felt the darkness you hold. My soul is my gift to you. Take it to the grave or treasure it for eternity. Your choice, but know I made mine.” Kade brings our joined hands to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. “You, for however long we have together, whether it’s only these few days or eternity.”
With more effort than I’d like to acknowledge, I force myself to release Kade. “And my gift to you is freedom. All you have to do is take back the piece of your soul. Give it back to a future me.”
“Who is she, Zoe?”
I’m dancing around the big dirty secret—this pink elephant in the room only I can see. Darn if I can help it. Now that I’ve started this conversation, I don’t want to finish it. I fish in my jeans pockets until my fingertips touch the cool metal key I’ve carried around in my bag for years, one of the many obscure treasures I’ve deemed necessary to haul around. With the key in hand, I motion to the ride. “Let’s play first. Pick your horse. I’ll see if I can’t get this thing running.”
Jimmying the lock on the circuit breaker takes longer than I’d like, but I manage to open the lid on the small box attached to the ride and flip the switch. Lights turn on in with a sharp blast of color illuminating the darkness. I laugh at the sign of my mischief and go to work setting up the ride and turning on the sound. The recorded music cuts through the night with the low-quality, upbeat rhythm I remember from my youth.
“Easier than I thought.” I pause with my finger over the switch to start the ride and look at Kade. The black stallion behind him was the prized horse back in the day. Every kid ran like mad trying to be the first to claim the king’s steed. It’s the only one with real “fake” diamonds embedded into its harness. “Are you ready?”
“Yes.” Kade mounts the wooden horse with ease and grips the handle with his left hand, leaving his right free and ready to snatch the rings.
“And…go!” I flip the switch and leap across the barrier separating the turning floor from the operator’s booth and land with a thud. The world jerks as the ride moves under me.
Giggling and smiling like a madwoman, I run between the first and second row of horses. Kade watches me but doesn’t help me. The amusement on his face lets me know he’s enjoying this. I smack his butt, then launch myself onto the horse several spaces in front of him, a white mare with pink ribbons in her blue hair, my favorite out of the choices. The cold wooden horse between my legs chills me, but I bounce wishing I could make my dashing pony go faster. She rises and falls with the music and finally picks up speed as the darkened shadows around us blur.
The anticipation grows. I bite my lip and wait. The music changes, and the clunk of the first brass ring dropping into the arm leaves me vibrating. I shift my bottom, my fingers tingling and ready. Colored lights dance over the ring, turning the old discolored circle into the ultimate prize. Arm outstretched, I lean to the side and catch the ring. I let out a whoop and raise my hand to the sky as another clunk proceeds the next ring dropping into position.
My breaths come harder. I could’ve been riding a wild horse across a battlefield. With my smile tugging hard on my cheeks, I look over my shoulder in time to see Kade catch the second ring on his pinkie. He holds it up for me to see, then moves it to his other hand. All the while, his smile radiates through me in a wave of happiness I can’t define but know I’d treasure forever if given the chance.
Another clunk pulls me back into the moment. I face forward. The arm with the last brass ring—the shiniest of the bunch—waits for me to seize it. I stretch for it. The first ring I caught falls from my hand. I gasp and watch it hit the ground and lose my chance at winning.
The thump behind me whips my head back. The shiny ring I missed out on claiming hangs from Kade’s pinkie. “Looks like I won.”
I smile, my loss not seeming so important when Kade’s pleasure turns his strong features into the face of the man I’m falling in love with. This isn’t the same feeling I had for BJ. It’s different, and it should be. I’m not the same woman I was back in high school, and Kade’s not a man in the same sense BJ was. Kade’s more. He’s my life.
The music slows, along with the ride. Kade dismounts his mighty wooden steed and hops off the moving floor. He retrieves the ring I dropped and approaches me with a slow gait I can’t help but appreciate. He hooks his foot into the strap that’s a little too low for my short legs and grabs the bar, holding the spiraled golden wood pole above my hand. Then he holds the three rings out to me, the metal circles hanging from his pointer finger.
“For you.”
I run my gloved finger over the side of the rings, sliding them to the end of his finger, but I don’t pull them off. I glance into his face. “You won them fair and square.”
“I won two. The other you did.” Kade tips his hand, and the rings fall. I catch them, and he curls my hand around them. “Now they’re yours.”
A sudden lump in my throat makes my eyes blur. I stare at the three brass rings lying against my black-gloved hand, and the words I’ve sought spill out. “I don’t know how I did it or if I even knew what I was doing, but when I was dying…when my baby was dying…”
I swallow hard and let out a shaky breath. “I wanted to save us. I knew if I died, my baby would too. That was my only thought. I couldn’t let my baby die. I would’ve done anything. Anything, Kade.”
“Of course you would have.” Kade lifts my chin, bringing my gaze to his. “You love with everything you are.”
“Love wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough. I lost my baby before help arrived. I invited evil into my soul, and it wasn’t enough. I lived. My baby died. BJ died. Vince got to write the script of what happened. And I still can’t prove his version of the events wrong. I don’t remember much of anything, including how I let her inside me. I can only say with certainty that I’m possessed by the demon I summoned, and that there’s a chance she’ll steal my soul and the piece of yours I hold.”
“A strong shaman might be able to help you.”
“One did. Supposedly. Dr. Fairchild bonded us—me and my crazy doppelgänger. He said it was the only way to save me. This demon I called forth is stronger than I am. If he didn’t do what he did, it could’ve broken free when and where it wanted, stealing as many souls as it could, with mine being the last it snatched. This way, I just have to resist committing suicide or intentionally releasing her and die a natural death. Then we’ll both be freed. But now…”
“You’re not alone in your battle.”
Kade’s take on the situation we’re in draws my gaze to him. There’s no hint of regret on his face, not surprising since I can feel his support. He’s with me on this. That’s the overall sense I get from him. Quite simply, Kade’s got my back. Today, tomorrow, forever. “Unless you take the out I gave you.”
“I won’t abandon you.”
“If she wins, you lose the piece of your soul you gave me, and if we soul bond, and I lose my battle with her, I’ll damn you to hell. Do you understand? She’ll claim my soul and yours on her way back to Hell. I don’t want to risk you like that.” With the brass rings on my finger, I hold Kade’s face in my hands. “You’re my life, Kade. And I like you. A lot. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
An owl’s hooting freezes my body as my hairs stand on end. Possibly reacting to me or sensing the same thing I do, Kade’s demeanor morphs as if a dangerous cloak slips over him, a shield woven of the pure power or grit required to be the alpha of the Alexander pride.
“Zoe, what’s wrong?”
The tingling spreading over me intensifies,
yet Kade’s focus is on me, not the world around us. He doesn’t sense this. If he did, he’d want to rip his skin off or run like I do, but instead, he’s standing here, protective and focused on me and how I’m reacting. This is on me, and after everything I’ve been through, I won’t discount what I’m feeling, especially when Kade might be at risk.
Slowly, I scan the landscape around us. Compared to the bright display of the ride’s lights, darkness reigns beyond this tiny section of the park. Nothing moves in the shadows around us. That I can see. My body knows otherwise. “We’re being watched.”
“I don’t sense anyone close. Neither do my cats.”
I believe Kade. I also know my gut instincts aren’t wrong. Slipping off the horse, I’m momentarily sandwiched between the wooden mare and Kade’s body. If danger looms, this would be the safest place for me, but without being able to feel the threat I do, Kade can’t protect me. Or himself. That’s not acceptable. I made my choice—Kade. Nobody gets to take him away now.
“Tell me what you’re feeling.”
Kade’s order compels me. I’d respond, but the sensation of eyes on me leaves me ready to crawl out of my skin. I skirt Kade, avoiding his seeking arm, and move to the edge of the carousel’s base. Metal fencing surrounds the ride, and the gate we’d walked through is the only one open. I hop down, the exit looming ahead of me. Kade’s presence at my back is a warm wave of strength. It’s power, a stifled promise that warns of devastation. I can’t say how I know that. Instinct, maybe? I don’t know, but the warning is real.
Darkness mixes with the light from the ride, swelling the farther I move into the night, until shadows lay out in front of me. Still, Kade hovers close, not stopping me or abandoning me either. He’s with me. He’ll always be with me, and the beauty in that realization is its own form of strength. Unless, of course, he takes the out I’ve given him. I don’t want to think about that option. Tonight, we face another.
An evergreen with swooping wide green branches stands as a sentry near the bathrooms. I study the tree for so long, Kade lays a hand on my back. “Zoe?”
Light glints off a pair of eyes deep inside the branches. The owl focuses on me, staring at me with unblinking eyes as only an owl can do. All the while, my skin crawls. There’s only one explanation.
“We’re being watched.”
Twenty-Eight
Kade
Rage flows through me and ripples outward in a wash of power I don’t try to contain. The ground shakes, rattling the amusement park’s garbage cans. Pine needles fall from the tree in front of me, and Zoe reaches for me. I take her hand but don’t pull her behind me, shielding her from danger. I’ve gone to great lengths to prove to Zoe and to the world I consider her my equal. Besides, Asa likely knows she’s not helpless. He and Vince did pay heavily to contain her demon and save Zoe. What I want to know is—why?
The owl inches its way to the end of the branch it’s been perched on, then stretches its wings and takes off. Zoe’s shoulders slump. Mine, on the other hand, tense. My cats echo the danger that’s suddenly appeared out of what appears to be nowhere. Asa hasn’t magically materialized here, however. He’s been here all along, watching me and Zoe. Fucking spying on us and listening in on the tenderness I’d reserved for my mate.
“Show your fucking self, Asa.” I focus on the area right behind the evergreen while another wave of energy rolls off me and heaves the concrete sidewalk separating us. “Or are you too much a coward to live up to your deception?”
No show of power precedes Asa’s approach. He steps out of the woods, alone. Loose sweats and a plain T-shirt cover him, while cheap flip-flops grace his feet. The outfit is a classic worn by shifters around the world who don’t want to ruin their expensive clothes in case of an emergency shift.
“Greetings again, alpha of the Alexander pride.” Asa nods in my direction, then glances at Zoe. “And Ms. Conway, congratulations on your most excellent perceptive skills. I must say I’m impressed. Not a minute after the kindly creature lent me his eyes, you sensed my presence. You must have”—Asa smirks—“experience with possession. Here I thought such abilities were difficult to hone without the proper training.”
“Oh, I’ve had training, all right. Years of training. Years of looking over my shoulder. My shrink called it PTSD or some shit. He said the nervousness I sometimes feel is nothing more than a consequence of the trauma I experienced. He lied through his asshole and did a shitty job of it. Maybe you should’ve paid him more.”
“Dr. Fairchild was reimbursed for containing the threat you posed and ensuring you were afforded the opportunity to live out your short, unimpressive life. As far as I’m concerned, he’s done an excellent job.”
“Why?” Zoe’s question holds a demand I feel along my skin. Her anger is as much a living force as the Alexander’s spirit is for me.
“Why…? What? You must be more specific, young lady.”
Rapidly tapping her thumb and middle finger together, Zoe jerks her head with a sharp tic that gives her a crazed edge she didn’t have moments ago. “Oh, I don’t know if that’s necessary. You start talking, and I’ll tell you once you’ve answered my questions. I’ll know if you’re lying.”
Without knowing how attuned Zoe is to the advantages of being a shaman or having a demon living inside her, I can’t judge her words. Considering she picked out the threat I failed to notice, I can’t help but think she’s not far off from being as attuned to her environment as Jarah is.
“You want to know why we saved your life, don’t you?”
“Sure.” Zoe shrugs at Asa’s question. “We can start there.”
“Vince believed there was a chance you were his true mate.” Asa looks to Kade. “Apparently, he was wrong.”
“And here you stole my thunder.” I repeat Zoe’s words from earlier. They fit this moment, and if they lighten Zoe’s mood even the tightest bit, I’ll call it a win. No matter how much I’d like to escalate Asa’s invasion of our privacy into a bloody fight, I can’t. Actions have consequences. Asa should’ve remembered that before he lurked on this private moment Zoe and I shared.
“Since when did you develop a sense of humor?” Asa looks down on me with a judging glare.
“Since tonight. This little event has put me in one hell of a mood. Honestly, you can’t beat it. Thanks to you, I get the honor of informing the rest of the visiting alphas and Shifter Affairs about how you’ve violated the rules set forth for this meeting.”
Asa glares at me, and the first hint of his deteriorating control dances over my skin with a stinging lash of heat. “Do so if you must, but know your actions will have consequences too.”
“I haven’t violated the terms of agreement for this alpha meeting.” I sweep my arm outward in the direction of the ride behind us. “As for this, I will gift this park with a generous donation this spring.”
“Pranks mean nothing to males such as you and I. You want to break into parks, do it.” Asa turns in a circle, taking in the darkened park. “Obviously, so have I. Whatever donation you make, I’ll match. What matters is the reason we’ve gathered here on short notice.”
“We have a reason?” I raise a brow in an exaggerated display. “Isn’t the party I have planned for this weekend enough? We haven’t mingled at one of these gatherings in decades.”
“We’ve never had the restrictions you’ve insisted on either.”
I shake off the comment with a roll of my shoulders. “If you’re referring to the extra guests allowed, you should know times have changed. We no longer need to parade our women around in the hope of mating them off to a strong family, and my territory doesn’t offer the privacy needed for the types of activities we once enjoyed.”
“Yes, you have immersed yourself in the modern world, haven’t you?”
“I’ve settled where my goddess led me. She has plans for my pride.”
“And the soon-to-be-born babies joining it.”
“Yes.” The lie is on my lips without a
moment’s hesitation. I’ve cultivated this particular one too long to allow any hint of doubt to show in my voice or my expression. “My pride is looking forward to welcoming the next generation into our fold, here, in this world we’ve become a part of.”
“Where every day, their lives will be at risk. That’s what we’re here to discuss, not that list of bullshit you have on the agenda. We’re here to make it clear those babies are not to be fucked with.”
“Why do you care?” Suspicion darkens Zoe’s tone. “They’re nothing to you.”
Asa turns his attention to Zoe. “If you live long enough to develop the abilities you’ve been born with, you’ll know the power shamanism offers.” He motions to the tree behind him. “We can slip in and out of other beings, from the smallest of creatures to the humans and shifters surrounding you. We can summon demons to do our bidding. But what others should fear is our ability to foresee the future. What I’ve glimpsed is enough to convince me those babies need to live. And that…”
With a smirk on his face, Asa glances at me. “That is true fear. Wouldn’t you agree, alpha of the Alexander pride?”
“Yes.” I tug slightly on Zoe’s hand and turn my back on Asa. “And it should make you afraid, Asa Yuran.”
But I have nothing to back up my subtle threat. I’m not a shaman. I can’t pull off any of the tricks he described. I never developed the abilities I was born with. Neither has Zoe. In a way, however, those two truths should leave Asa with a sense of fear. We have a wealth of power and don’t know how to tap into it. Or control what we can become.
We’re fucking time bombs. So is this situation with Mira’s babies. And somehow, I’ve got to come out on top. Too many lives are depending on me.
Twenty-Nine
Possessed by the Alpha Page 28
