Breakfast on the Way to Brisbane

by Ken Blowers

CHAPTER 8

  THE BODY IN THE BATH

  June and Greg had driven up from Melbourne to Brisbane, in four days, to visit her Aunty Edith Doolittle.

  June said, ‘I’m sure glad to be here, but what a long journey! We didn’t see much either, did we?’

  ‘Oh, come on. I asked you if you wanted to do the inland country route or the more-busy main highway. It was your choice and as your pack leader, lord and master, I got you here safely, didn’t I?’

  ‘Oh... yeah, but it was hardly exciting – was it?’

  Putting on a tough-guy drawl, Greg replied, ‘You want excitement, baby? You’re with the right guy!’

  ‘Oh, go on!’ she said, digging him in the ribs.

  ‘Which house?’ he asked.

  ‘I think it’s that one, on the left.’

  ‘Sure? I say it’s the one on the right.’

  ‘Of course I’m sure, it’s my Aunty!’

  ‘You, darling, have never been any good at directions. It’s the one on the right.’

  ‘Ok, ok if you say so, master.’

  ‘Yes, I know it’s the one. She’ll come running out in a minute, I bet.’

  June got out of the car and knocked on the door a few times.

  ‘Here, let me try,’ Greg said, turning the door handle. ‘It’s open.’ ‘Hello!’,‘Anybody in?’

  There was no reply.

  ‘Well I haven’t come all this way to stand on a door step!’ June said. ‘Let’s go in.’

  ‘This is kind of odd, isn’t it?’ queried Greg.

  ‘No, not really. She’s probably just nipped out for groceries. Or perhaps a nice cake or something. I know...’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Let’s put the kettle on so we can make her a nice cup of tea, as soon as she comes in, eh?’

  June opened one cupboard door after another. ‘Oh, damn! I can’t find any tea anywhere!’

  ‘What?’ Greg moaned disappointedly. ‘We’ve drunk nothing but instant coffee for the last four days. I was rather looking forward to a nice cup of tea.’

  ‘Me too,’ echoed June. ‘Tell you what, that’s probably what she nipped out for!’

  ‘Oh, yes, you could be right!’

  ‘So, what should we do while we wait?’

  ‘I know what I’m doing, said Greg. ‘I’m dying for a leak. Where’s the toilet or bathroom?’

  ‘Just a minute. Just a minute! Where’s your manners? Ladies first, right?’

  ‘Oh, no. No way. It’s pack leader, lord and master first. Anyway, it’s a well known scientific fact that men are so much quicker than women when it comes to, you know…’ said Greg as he turned and quickly disappeared down the hallway. A few minutes later, and somewhat white faced, he returned. ‘The good news my pet, is that the toilet is now vacant. However, when I went in the bathroom to wash my hands...’

  ‘What? What is it?’

  ‘It’s your Aunty.’

  ‘What? What about her?’

  ‘Well, I sort of walked in on her.’

  ‘In the bath?’

  ‘Yes. Yes, in the bath.’

  ‘Well, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, here. But you, you look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.’

  ‘Something like that, yes.’

  ‘You don’t mean, you can’t mean…’

  ‘Yes. I’m afraid she’s dead. In the bath.’

  ‘Dead? Aunty Edith?’

  ‘Yes.’

  June jumped to her feet, saying, ‘Take me. Show me... please.’

  Greg took June down the hall and stopped at the second door on the left. ‘You sure you are ready for this?’ he asked. She nodded her consent and he slowly opened the door and lead her in. At first she could see nothing. Then Greg edged her closer and pulled back the shower curtain to reveal a naked, elderly, female, figure sitting in the bath. Her head had fallen forward, with her face under water and resting on her knees.

  Greg felt her go limp in his hands. ‘Steady on’ he said, pulling her back. ‘I don’t want you in there too.’

  ‘Come on’, said Greg. ‘Let’s go back to the lounge and sit down. Blow the tea! What say we have a nice cup of coffee, eh?’

  Back in the lounge Greg said, ‘You sit down. I’ll make the coffee.’

  But she didn’t sit down. Something moving outside caught her eye. There was a woman out there taking a great interest in their car.

  ‘Hey!’ Greg called, ‘Didn’t your pack leader, lord and master tell you to sit down?’

  ‘Ah,’ said June, ‘There’s been a dramatic change of circumstances.’

  ‘Talking of circumstances,’ said Greg, ‘You’d better start thinking how we can explain to the Police what we are doing in this house, with a dead body!’

  ‘No way. I think it’s perfectly obvious that the duty of explaining everything to the Police could only be done, carefully and thoroughly, by the pack leader, lord and master. Meanwhile, I’m going to go next door and have a nice cup of tea with my dear old Aunty Edith, who is waving to me right now! What a laugh she will have, as I tell her how you have been doing your damn best to wreck my holiday.’