Lost in You (Flirting with Forever Book 1)

by Amanda Bailey

  I blow out a breath and mentally slap myself. We’ve barely started the weekend and this is how it’s going? I have a raging hard-on just listening to her talk and laugh. How the hell am I going to be her fake boyfriend—touch her, hug her, pretend to love her—and then be able to rein myself in when we are alone? This game we’re playing may prove to be more dangerous than either of us anticipates. I’m terrified I’m going to do something wrong because just the touch of her hand and the smile she offers me have my insides all twisted up like a pretzel—contorted and curled in on itself—and it’s like nothing I’ve felt in my whole life.

  “Shawn? Did you hear me?”

  I glance over at her, the bottle of water still in her hands. I keep both of my hands on the wheel, and I drum my thumbs to the beat of the music. I’m not sure I can handle taking her hand again right now. “Sorry, I got lost in the music for a second. What’d you ask me?”

  Her brow quirks, and she eyes me carefully, like she’s wondering what the heck I was thinking about just then, but there’s no way I’m telling her. “I said, speaking of the girl talk you caught wind of, I’d have thought you’d heard it all, working in a bar like you do.”

  “Pfft. Are you kidding? It’s quiet in there most of the time. It’s not like a college bar. We cater to a more calm, peaceful crowd.” I steal a peek and find her body gently moving to the music. I groan internally and shift around in my seat in an attempt to alleviate the situation in my jeans, but it doesn’t help. “You all were entertaining, though. You can come back any time.”

  “Careful what you wish for. It’s my turn to choose the location of the next book club meeting.” She turns a bit in her seat. “So, speaking of, why did you decide to work as a bartender? I mean, that’s supposed to be the side gig, right?” I glance at her, and she shrugs. “Just trying to get to know my boyfriend. This is like a two-hour speed date to a fully-developed relationship.”

  I snort. “Yeah. Well, first and foremost, the bar manager gig came with the apartment. I actually wrangle the schedule and am responsible for keeping the place running smoothly in addition to the shifts I work. And well, I guess I like listening to people talk about their problems. Sometimes it’s easier than thinking about my own.”

  She doesn’t say anything to that, just nods like she’s taking me all in. I get the sudden idea that maybe this is a girl who gets me. I don’t fully understand why, but I feel like she does. Her tongue darts out to wet her lower lip, and she clears her throat. “I think we should talk about our ‘relationship’ for a little bit.”

  My gaze flicks to her and then back to the road. “Oh, right. You mean some information about how we met and all. But, I mean, who is really going to ask us anything? Who’ll be there that I’d even know?”

  She purses her lips, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “Well, obviously my parents and my older brother will have questions. Those are the big ones, but it’s my cousin’s wedding, so there will be plenty of curious—"

  “Nosy,” I grit out. I hate how when she thinks about these people watching her, her whole body tenses up and her eyes go wide, like a deer in headlights.

  “Right. There will be plenty of nosy extended family members and old friends there.”

  What I really need to know is how far she wants me to take this ruse. I mean, am I supposed to hold her hand and kiss her cheek or am I making out with her on the dance floor? My jeans tighten uncomfortably again at the thought. Get your mind off of her sweet body and kissable lips, Shawn. I inhale, filling my lungs, and then let the air out steadily to calm myself. “Okay, so I guess we should figure this out. We originally met in high school. But how’d we come to be together?”

  Her face pales and her lips part as she thinks about it. “Oh, um.”

  I know she’s thinking about the fact that I’m her ex’s best friend … or I was, anyway. Perhaps not the ideal situation we’re putting ourselves in, but it is what it is. “They’re going to ask, Madison. We can just say we met again through my brother and Sophia. Because that’s the closest thing to the truth, right?”

  “Well, I guess that’s what they say about lying, right? Keep it as close to the actual truth as you can and you are less likely to get tripped up in your lie.”

  “Exactly. So, how familiar do you want me to be with you?”

  Her jaw clamps shut and her teeth grind together as she peers over at me, a blush stealing over her cheeks before it deepens into a full-on fiery red. It only makes her prettier, but I’m sure she doesn’t realize that. “Pretty familiar, I guess? Is that okay?”

  “Madi, it’s fine. This is what I’m here for this weekend, right? You don’t have to be nervous with me. You can say stuff like, ‘Shawn, treat me like we are intimate with each other,’ and I won’t blink an eye.” I clear my throat. “And here’s another good question: are we just dating or are we living together?”

  She chews on her lip and glances at me before dropping her head and staring at her hands in her lap. “Well, my parents will think it’s odd if I hadn’t told them I was dating anyone and all of a sudden I’m living with you, so just dating for now.” From the corner of my eye, I notice her hands begin to fidget and twist together in her lap. I’m not even sure she realizes she’s doing it.

  “How long have we been dating?” My gaze slides back up to her face, taking in the little worry lines etched in her forehead and the way she keeps biting her lip. My need to make sure she’s not freaking out is rising steadily as I watch her. The last thing I want is to do all of this and then have her panic and make us turn around. We can get through this weekend for her. We can.

  “I feel like it should be long enough that we’re …” She looks over at me, those green eyes pinned on my blue ones. Blinking rapidly, her breath hitches as she opens her mouth to speak. “That we’re—”

  My voice rasps up and out of my throat, low and gravelly. “That we’re in love?”

  I can see her chest jerking with her intake of breath. “Um, yeah. So, how long does that take?”

  “Maybe four or five months?”

  She nods. “Okay. So, let’s say four months.”

  We fall silent for a few minutes. Finally, I can’t stand it any longer. I prop my elbow against the door, resting my head on my hand as I steal another look at her and then back at the road. “So, um. How do I ask this? Uh, have we …?” My eyebrows wiggle suggestively, trying to put her more at ease with the question.

  She covers her mouth before a small giggle works its way from her and she grins, ducking her head between her shoulders. “Yes. I think we’ve definitely done that.”

  I groan, purposely sending her a naughty wink. “Thank goodness because I can’t imagine the case of blue balls I’d have if we hadn’t after four months.”

  She swats at my arm with a giggle, her face flaming red again. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

  “And I can’t believe you and your friends talked for a full fifteen minutes in my place of work about ‘peen,’ as Hadleigh so delicately put it.”

  Madison snorts with laughter. She bends at the waist, her hands covering her face, shoulders shaking, and I think this may be the best I’ve ever felt.

  And it’s fake. This is fake. I keep needing to remind myself of it because every time I look at her, I just want to pull her into my arms, bury my face in her sweet-smelling hair, and never let go.

  It’s going to be an interesting weekend, that is for damn sure.

  Chapter 7

  Madison

  When we arrive at the huge bed-and-breakfast where the wedding is taking place, all I can do is sigh. It’s the perfect countryside backdrop for photos and a beautiful reception. The church where the ceremony will take place is just around the corner; we passed it on the way in and made a note of it since we’ll be right back there tomorrow afternoon.

  Overall, it’s a fantastic venue, and I know this girl’s parents must be spending a literal fortune on this wedding. My cousin, Chuck, even seemed excite
d when he’d told me all about their plans a few months back. I hadn’t thought men got excited about weddings, but there you have it.

  What must it be like to prepare to get married—to tie yourself to someone else in front of all of your friends and family? I can’t even imagine the case of nerves I’ll have on my wedding day. It makes no sense to worry about it because I’m not sure it’ll ever happen. No sense in working myself up over it, right?

  I take a deep breath. Besides, I’m already worked up plenty, thanks to Shawn. He’d incited me into a super-flustered state with all of his questions. You’d think it would be the question about whether or not we’ve already had sex that would have done me in, but it wasn’t. It was actually the question about whether or not we were in love that made my stomach flutter and my blood race. I guess I’m just a hopeless romantic at heart because I do want to believe that’ll happen for me someday. I want to be in love.

  I should put all of this conjecture about my future right out of my head for the time being though. Right now, the only thing I need to do is get through this weekend without looking pathetic. But thinking about faking being in love with Shawn? Well, that had about done me in. He makes my mind twirl around thinking dumb things it really shouldn’t—wanting things it can’t have. I don’t know how I’m going to handle this. I’d been hoping that with him by my side, I could pull it off, but I’m also plenty aware of finding myself more and more attracted to him. Not a fake attraction, either. The man is just too damn sexy for words.

  When I finally blink my eyes, I snap back to reality. Shawn stands there, head cocked to the side, watching me, as he holds the handle of my roller bag out to me. He’s already got his bag slung over his shoulder, guitar in his other hand, ready to go.

  Like a fool, I’d been standing there, imagining what those big hands would feel like gripping the bare skin of my hips. How they’d feel cupping my breasts …

  Oh God, Madison. What the hell are you doing?

  I shiver in the cold air and take my bag from him. We don’t hesitate any longer before we head inside. I’m glad I brought my heavy coat and gloves, even if they’ll make my outfit for the wedding look ridiculous. Shawn holds the door for me, and I walk past him into the foyer. I stop short when we get in there and see a sweet-looking older lady waiting for us at the check-in desk. Uh-oh. I kind of forgot about this part. The hotel room … I’ll have to share it with Shawn to keep up the pretense of him being my boyfriend.

  I tug on the arm of his thick coat. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

  He throws an apologetic grin at the lady behind the desk that has her tittering where she stands, and waving her hand. “Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

  He spins around to face me, and I sidle up close to him, hiking up on my toes so I can keep my voice low. “I didn’t know what to say when my cousin asked me about room accommodations.”

  Shawn tucks his head down next to mine, his warm breath right at my ear, his lips grazing my earlobe and making me tingle in places I shouldn’t. “Whatever is fine. We’ll figure it out.” His face nuzzles against my neck for about two seconds longer than I would have thought was appropriate. When he shifts his body, he leans in and touches his forehead to mine. “Come on, babe. Let’s get checked in.” His eyes lock on mine, a certain twinkle in them making me sure he’s doing this for the lady’s benefit, but it sets my insides to dancing just the same. He puts an arm around me, his hand at the small of my back, and guides me back over to her.

  I give her a tentative smile. “Sorry. I’m Madison Green. We’re here for the Graves wedding.”

  With a warm smile, she chirps, “Yes, sweetie, I have a room set aside for you.” She coughs delicately. “I’d say I’m sorry it’s a double bed and not a queen or king,” she covers her mouth for a second, looking up at Shawn, “but I don’t think I’d mind, if I were you.” At that, the woman giggles behind her hand like it’s her job.

  Shawn coughs to cover a laugh. “I’m sure we’ll be fine in any room you have for us. Thank you.”

  “The room is already paid for, so you’re all set.” She reaches behind her to snag a key off the wall and a small basket from the counter behind her. “Here we are. Here’s your key. Sorry we’re old-fashioned here, and this is a little thank you from the bride and groom.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.” Shawn graciously takes the key from her, and I accept the basket.

  “You kids have fun now.” She giggles again and looks Shawn up and down. Again. “Number eight. Second floor, the room at the end of the hall on the right.”

  Shawn and I exchange a grin and head for the stairs. Once we’ve made our way to the second floor, we take one look at each other and can’t contain ourselves any longer. We chuckle all the way to the end of the hall.

  “Wow. You weren’t kidding about making all the ladies jealous, were you?” I cover my mouth to try to stop more laughter from rippling from me. “My abs are sore from laughing so much.”

  He winks at me as he slides the key into the lock and lets us in. “Well, then I’m feeling pretty secure in my new job right now.”

  “Which job is that? The fake boyfriend?”

  “Nope. Personal ab trainer.”

  Mm. He can be my personal ab trainer any day of the week. I snicker, “Right. Well, just remember it’s the other job I’m more interested in you excelling at.”

  “Don’t worry. I excel at just about everything I do.”

  I don’t doubt him for a second. I glance over my shoulder and catch his smirk as I walk into the small room, but my legs practically buckle as my gaze shifts back around and lands on the tiniest bed I’ve ever seen.

  Behind me, Shawn coughs then sputters, “That’s supposed to be a bed for two people?” He edges in behind me with our bags, setting them down. He straightens before turning to shut the door behind us with a soft click. It may as well have been a clap of thunder. My head whips around at the sound of it, my chest tightening.

  Shawn’s gaze bounces from me to the bed and back again. His voice is husky when he speaks again. “I guess that’s why the lady at check-in was so amused. That kind of bed requires a lot of spooning.” A rough chuckle tumbles out of him.

  “Or snuggling,” I whisper. Then louder, “Um. You can have the bed. I dragged you here.” My teeth tug my lower lip into my mouth.

  “Yeah, that’s not happening.”

  My eyes flick to his. “But—”

  He shakes his head. “Nope. There are only two ways this goes and neither one involves you sleeping on the floor.” He crosses his arms in front of him, a stance I take to mean that I’m not supposed to argue. It also shows off his muscular forearms, complete with veins popping.

  I’m only human. Yep, I’m totally looking.

  I blink once, then again while I stare at his arms, trying to make sense of what he’s just said. “So, I sleep in the bed, or …?”

  His brow goes up, and his deep blue eyes bore into mine.

  “Oh. Oh.” I swallow hard, my throat suddenly feeling very thick, like all my words will get stuck there if I try to say more. I don’t think an hour has gone by since starting this road trip where Shawn hasn’t made me blush one way or another. My palms dampen with sweat at the thought.

  He husks out, “I’ll take the floor, like I’ve always intended, Madison. It’s not a big deal.”

  “Okay.” I glance down at my feet. Breathe, Madison. “I’m just going to hang up my dress and put some things into drawers. I’m not a fan of living out of a suitcase.”

  “Right. I’ll get my suit and other things out, too. Then what do you say we go find dinner?”

  I look back up to see him studying me, head tilted to the side.

  Chapter 8

  Shawn

  “Sure, I guess so.”

  You’d think I’d asked her if she wanted to play Go Fish or something, so lackluster was her answer. My gaze wanders over her tense features, and I wonder if I should have kept my mouth sh
ut about the whole bed situation. Sure, I’d be willing to sleep in the bed with her—the thought had come out of nowhere, really—and I couldn’t handle her arguing over which one of us was taking the floor. In the end, I guess it had worked, as she’d immediately accepted the bed when I’d implied her other choice was sharing it, and that she wouldn’t be taking the floor in this lifetime or any other.

  The idea of us sharing a bed is suddenly all I can think of. The thought wasn’t even there until we’d gotten up here. When I initially offered to come with her this weekend, I’d always assumed I’d be on the floor or a pull-out sofa or something. But I guess all these thoughts make sense because I’ve been having trouble reminding myself that this is all supposed to be one big fake out. I really need to get my runaway thoughts under control before I do something to make this situation any more difficult.

  Madison pulls a long, dark-purple dress and a pair of black heels from her bag and walks over to the closet, where she makes quick work of hanging the dress up and tucking the shoes below. She whirls around, crossing back over to her bag, clearly on a mission. “I’m just going to put some things in the drawers on the left, here, if you want to take the ones on the right?”