Lost in You (Flirting with Forever Book 1)

by Amanda Bailey

  “I couldn’t help but make this happen when I came back. Every time we talked about what I’d been doing with my life and how I wasn’t entirely happy, it was in the back of my head that maybe, just maybe, I’d come home and clear this area out, get the stage fixed up. I ordered some good quality karaoke equipment while we were stuck in the hotel room. And then, I also figured we could have an open-mic night once a week. Let anyone with a little talent have their moment in the spotlight.”

  Everything in me tells me this has made him so happy. And I hope more than anything, based on our earlier conversation, I can make him happy, too. “We should just have you sing or play—or both.”

  He chuckles and sends me the sweetest smile. “Is that right?”

  “But make it something you wrote. Anything you play is amazing.” I swear, I feel giddy every time he looks at me, and yes, I’d listen to just about anything as long as it’s Shawn playing. I’d adored listening to him play when I was just a girl, and absolutely nothing has changed. I still want to sink into the comfort of his raspy voice and listen to the strumming of his fingers on his guitar.

  “Would you want me to write a song for you sometime?”

  My cheeks warm at the thought, and I can practically feel my eyes twinkle at him. I’m such a goner. “I wouldn’t mind.”

  “Would you sing it with me?” He slicks his tongue over his lower lip and smiles at the goofy look on my face.

  I nod. “Maybe. Maybe you should write it about us.”

  He leans close and whispers near my ear, “Maybe I already did.”

  I swallow and look at him, eyes wide. “You—”

  He winks at me, and walks up on the stage. “Would anyone mind a little live music?” His question is met with whoops of excitement and clapping. “Okay then, give me just a couple of seconds.”

  I slip over to my girls and sit with them. Sophia eyes me carefully. “Everything okay?”

  A soft smile on my lips, I glance at her, and then at Had, Piper, Quinn, and Zoey, too. “Yes. I think everything is going to be just fine.”

  Quinn whistles low. “Oh, boy. Somebody has it bad.”

  Piper ducks her head with a giggle. “Being stranded with your fake boyfriend worked nicely?”

  “There’s nothing fake about the way his eyes are burning right into her.” Zoey nods toward the stage.

  She didn’t need to tell me, I could feel Shawn’s eyes on me. I inhale and let out a happy sigh. “I think I’m in love with him.”

  Hadleigh’s eyes go wide. “Wow. That was fast. I totally thought you all were just fucking.”

  Coke spews out of Piper’s mouth and dribbles down her chin, and at that, we all break into giggles. I shake my head with a grin, as my eyes search out Shawn’s again. “Nope. It’s so much more than that.”

  Shawn sits down on a stool onstage and takes a minute to tune his guitar. After making a few minor adjustments, the soothing sound of his playing begins to fill the room. It’s the same tune he’d been playing while we were away together, only now the sound is fuller, and he’s more confident in it. He’s been practicing, and he hums along at first, which is enough to melt my panties. I’m content just to sit back and listen to him like this all night.

  He pauses for a second, putting his hand over the strings, and clears his throat before speaking. “This is going to be a little rough, and it’s not quite done, but I thought maybe there was someone out there who needed to hear it.”

  Sophia catches my eye from across the table and winks, and then I’m further distracted for a moment by Zoey asking her if Heath plays, too.

  When the first notes of Shawn’s deep voice whisper out into the mic, I sit up and take notice, my lips parting involuntarily as my eyes seek out his again.

  He’s put words to what he’d been working on during our trip, and from the first line, my heart gives a little lurch and skips, missing a beat or maybe three. Oh, man, does he have a way with words. He has half the audience fully swooning already. The song is so very clearly about us, the lyrics are so beautiful. Oh God, he’s singing about how I’m wound around his heart, how he can’t live without me now because his heart has found its home.

  As I listen, a miniature storm builds inside of me, making it hard to breathe or think. All I can do is feel the way he loves me through his song.

  When it comes to an end, I stare at him, hearing the clapping around me when he stops. All the sound in the room seems like it’s been sucked into a tunnel, and I’m standing on the outside, straining to hear. My chest clenches tight as tears slip down my cheeks unchecked at the simple sweetness of his lyrics.

  Without a thought as to what I’m doing, I get up from my seat and weave my way through the chairs and stand in front of him at the edge of the stage. Behind me, I hear the rumble of curiosity move through the crowd, but I pay it no mind. The only person I’m interested in is right in front of me.

  In a flash, Shawn has set his guitar down on the chair behind him and steps off the stage. He sweeps me up in his arms and holds me tightly for a second before his mouth finds mine for a soul-stealing kiss. I faintly hear catcalls somewhere in the back of my mind, but I’m far too distracted by the movement of Shawn’s lips on mine, his heart pounding against my chest.

  When we finally break the kiss, he holds my head between his big hands and swipes his thumbs along my cheekbones. It’s like we’re still in our own little world. I have eyes for no one but him.

  “That was beautiful, Shawn.” My hand presses to my chest where my heart continues to flutter.

  “I hope you understood what I was trying to tell you.”

  I give a little nod, but I can’t help but want him to say the words. This feels like one of those moments when every single thing I’ve ever wanted has the potential to be realized—or crushed. Did I understand him? I think I did. I think he wants us to be real. I think he wants there to be an us. I think he wants me to be the place where his heart lives. Forever.

  Before I can even open my mouth, he leans in, his forehead touching mine. His raspy voice winds its way right around my heart when he stares into my eyes and murmurs, “I’m lost in you—so hopelessly in love with you, Madison.”

  Happy tears well in my eyes again. “I think my heart is going to hop right out of my chest and take the leap into your hands.”

  “You’re not still pretending, are you?”

  I shake my head. “If you feel about me the same way I feel about you, I never want us to have to pretend again. I love you, too, Shawn. So much.”

  “Madi, you never have to worry ever again. Everything I feel for you is completely real. No more fake boyfriends. Just me.” He gives me a sweet smile, making my heart melt. “If you’ll have me, that is.”

  I bite my lip as my eyes flicker up to his, connecting with his gaze. I don’t know if he knows just how lost I am to him, too. “You’ll always have something to write a song about because I’m bound to give you plenty of material.”

  “Funny how love does that.”

  Hope surges through me as the reality of what he feels for me finally reaches all the tender parts of my heart. He loves me.

  Shawn reaches out, cups my cheek, and strokes his fingertips over the newly discovered birthmark. “So, you’ve helped me realize how I can be happy. Tell me what dream can I help you chase, Butterfly.”

  “You.” My voice hitches. “Just you. You’re my dream, Shawn.”

  His gaze softens as he gathers me in his arms and feathers a kiss over my lips. “Baby, I have no problem making that one come true.”

  Epilogue

  Hadleigh

  I’ve got to hand it to Sophia. Her idea to head on over to Shawn’s bar after book club had been a good one. I feel the need to cut loose and have some fun. Shawn has finally gotten karaoke equipment, and it sure is drawing a crowd. Maybe I’ll have to get up there and give it a go later.

  Speaking of Shawn, his new relationship with Madison has been the talk of the night, especially aft
er Madison ditched our book club to go after her man. Most people wouldn’t have thought when they took off together to that wedding last weekend that they’d come back a couple, but I had an inkling right from the start. And man, she’d walked downstairs hand in hand with him, rocking that freshly-fucked vibe. Good for them. They seem really, really happy together.

  Someday I’ll find that, but for now, I’ve been busy dodging Ed. He definitely isn’t who I’d thought he was when we’d first started dating. He’s really attractive and had seemed nice at first, but the minute we started dating, he’d dropped the good-guy facade he shows everyone at school and had become a total jerk—a jerk who doesn’t seem to mind holding something very private over my head. Ugh.

  The singing and clapping in the bar fades away as my eyes zero in on a tall, dark-haired guy standing off to the side of the stage who I’ve never seen before. Who is that? Mr. Yummy, that’s who. Strong arms cross over the broad expanse of his chest as he leans against the wall and watches a long-legged blonde scamper up onto the stage. She waves pleadingly for Mr. Yummy to join her, but he just chuckles and shakes his head.

  I follow their silent conversation as she shows him some really impressive puppy dog eyes, complete with a pout, and he mouths the words, “no way in hell” in response.

  Obviously, he has no interest in singing with her onstage, but what I really want to know is if they are together. When she begins to sing—badly and off-key—he smiles indulgently at her before he allows his gaze to sweep out over the room.

  When he catches me staring at him, he seems a little surprised and a whole lot curious. He tilts his head to the side, and his brows raise ever so slightly.

  My tongue darts out to wet my lower lip as we continue to stare at each other. I. Can’t. Look. Away. A low-level hum begins to move through my body, and I feel a little light-headed.

  Zoey nudges my arm. “Hey, you want to go get another drink?”

  I regretfully drag my gaze from Mr. Yummy and find my friend staring at me quizzically. “Um, yeah, sure.” I glance back to find his eyes still on me. With a quick intake of breath, I turn away and follow Zoey to the bar.

  Upon returning to where our group has gathered, I scan the room for him, but find he’s not leaning against the wall anymore. My gaze drifts around the room until I finally spot him.

  Much to my dismay, tall, dark, and drool-worthy is walking toward the door with the pretty blonde. He pushes the door open for her and smiles at something she says as he lets her precede him outside. I can’t help but frown inwardly. Damn. What I wouldn’t give to spend my time with a guy like that, instead of the jerks I’m accustomed to.

  He follows the blonde out the door, but just as the door is about to close, he glances back in my direction. Our gazes connect again, and my lips part involuntarily. I’m left staring when the door shuts behind him.

  Who the hell is Mr. Yummy? I wish I knew because I’d sure like to take a bite out of him ...

  SNEAK PEEK

  * * *

  FIGHT FOR YOU

  CHAPTER 1: HADLEIGH

  * * *

  I am nervous as hell. Right before winter break, our assistant principal, Miles Steele called me into his office to let me know I’d been selected to mentor a student teacher for the next eight weeks. I know it’s considered an honor of sorts to be chosen, but I can’t help but feel a smidge grumpy about it. Eight weeks seems like an entire lifetime to have someone in my classroom. It’s like my second home, and now I have to worry about someone else infiltrating my space. And I’m expected to just turn my classes over to this person? That scares the shit out of me. I’ve finally gotten into the groove after four and a half years, and now it feels like the rug is being pulled out from under me.

  My friend and coworker, Zoey, and I have met for one final hurrah at our favorite coffee shop before we head back to work tomorrow. As we get seated with our drinks, I ask, “How is it that time moves so slowly while we’re working, but so incredibly fast during break? I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready to go back tomorrow.”

  Zoey takes a careful sip of her steaming hot caramel macchiato. “Ugh. I don’t know. I do miss seeing everyone, though.”

  My friend is definitely a people person and thrives on interacting with others. If someone says the phrase get together, you can bet she’ll be there. She’ll undoubtedly be late because she’s so damn busy with her work as a guidance counselor and everything that comes with that, but she’ll be there. In my opinion, she runs herself ragged by always focusing on others and putting everyone else first. So yeah, that means she’s constantly a smidge behind. At this point, it’s like her calling card. I’m used to filling her in on everything that she’s missed.

  I skim my finger absentmindedly around the rim of my teacup. “I’m not ready to go back and definitely not ready for whoever this guy I have to work side by side with for the next few months is.”

  Zoey grimaces as she observes my fidgeting. She tucks a stray hair behind her ear, and her gaze settles on my face again. “I tried to get more information about him out of Miles for you, but he didn’t share much else.”

  Dammit. Usually, it’s handy to have a friend in the main office. As a guidance counselor, Zoey hears all sorts of things before the rest of us do. She’s my go-to for all the good gossip, but apparently, this time she’s in the dark just as much as I am.

  “Here, look.” I hold out my phone for her. “Check out this e-mail I got yesterday. What vibe do you get from him?”

  * * *

  From: Sawyer Rivers

  To: Hadleigh Beckett

  Date: Sunday, January 2 12:24 PM (1 day ago)

  Subject: Meeting

  * * *

  Ms. Beckett,

  I hope this e-mail finds you well. I was told to contact you about my student teaching placement in your classroom this semester. I’d like to set up a meeting before my first day, if possible.

  Sincerely,

  Sawyer Rivers

  * * *

  Zoey wrinkles her nose as she reads. “He’s polite, I guess.”

  “You can say that again. He sounds … almost uptight. How should I respond?” My brows draw together while my thumbs twitch anxiously over the phone keyboard as I debate what to type.

  “You should answer politely right back …?” She ducks her head and covers her mouth with her hand, giggling.

  “Right. Okay, here goes nothing.” My lower lip is wedged between my teeth as I work through what I feel like is an appropriate response from a mentor to a mentee.

  * * *

  From: Hadleigh Beckett

  To: Sawyer Rivers

  Date: Monday, January 3 2:26 PM

  Subject: Re: Meeting

  * * *

  Hello, Sawyer. Would you be able to drop by after school hours tomorrow, Jan 4? Around 3:30?

  Hadleigh Beckett

  * * *

  “There. Done. Polite and straightforward.” I roll my head around, stretching out my neck as she eyes me carefully. “I’m worried I’m not ready to deal with someone else, Zoey. I’m still kind of a baby teacher myself.”

  “They wouldn’t have given you a student teacher unless they were confident you could handle it. Since when are you anything but confident?”

  I roll my eyes at her. “You know half of that is for show. I’m a good actress. I have insecurities just like anyone else, and this is one of them. How do I teach someone else when I’m still learning the job myself?”

  “You’ll be fine. You always are. Shake it off, girl. Shake it off.”

  Just as she finishes her comment—thus putting Taylor Swift in my head—my phone pings with an incoming e-mail. Zoey’s gaze shoots to mine. “Is that him already?”

  I look down at my phone and give an unladylike snort. “Yep. Well, he’s responsive, if nothing else. Maybe this bodes well.” I blow out a quick breath and op
en up the new e-mail.

  * * *

  From: Sawyer Rivers

  To: Hadleigh Beckett

  Date: Monday, January 3 2:28 PM

  Subject: Re: Re: Meeting

  * * *

  Ms. Beckett,

  Thanks for your response. Could you tell me where I should park?

  Sincerely,

  Sawyer Rivers

  * * *

  My brow wrinkles in thought. “Maybe he’s just older than I first assumed. It’ll probably be some retiree working on starting his second career.”

  “Could be, for sure. You know, Cal Jennings from the math department did that. He had a whole other career in the Army before he retired and went back to school to get his teaching license.”

  I shrug, giving up on guessing. “I suppose I’ll find out tomorrow afternoon, huh?”

  “Yep. This time tomorrow you’ll know exactly who you’re dealing with.” She narrows her gaze at me and pats my knee. “Breathe, Had. It’ll be fine.”

  I nod. “Right. It’ll all be fine. Tomorrow I’ll know who this Sawyer person is.” As I shoot off another quick response, I wonder what I can do to prepare myself. The answer is nothing, really. Ugh. A bubble bath to calm me down, maybe? Take a nap with my kitten? I’m typically a very go, go, go personality; it’s great for getting things done but not so good for calming my nerves. I tuck my phone back in my purse and give Zoey my attention again.