The Coven

by Cate Tiernan

  "See you later." A flashing grin, and he was gone.

  11. Connected

  January 3, 1982

  Old Jowson lost three sheep last night. This is after all the

  ward-evil spells we've been doing for the past month. Now

  most of his flock if gone, and he's not the only one. He said

  today in the Eagle and Hare that he's wiped out—doesn't have

  enough ewes left to start over. There's nothing for him to do

  except sell out.

  I feel like all I do is go around doing warding spells. We're

  all paranoid and living under a dark shadow. For the past week

  I've been spelling Ma's leg after she broke it, bicycling to the

  village. But even with my spells she says it's hurting and not

  healing properly.

  I want to get out of here. Being a witch is doing no one

  good nowadays and is doing a bushel of harm. It's like a film is

  over us, lessening our powers. I don't know what to do. Angus

  doesn't, either. He's worried, too, but he tries not to show it.

  Damnation! I thought the evil was behind us! Now it looks

  like it was only sleeping amond us, in our beds. Winter has

  awoken it. --Bradhadair

  On Wednesday morning, when I was toasting two Pop

  Tarts for breakfast, I heard footsteps overhead.

  "Mary K.!" I said. "Who's upstairs?"

  Mary K. blinked. "Mom," she said, turning back to the

  comics. "She's staying home sick today."

  I looked at the top of my sister's head. Mom never stayed

  home from work. She had been known to show houses in a

  snowstorm when she had the flu.

  "What's wrong with her?" I asked. "She was fine last

  night, wasn't she?" She and my dad had had dinner out alone,

  something they almost never did. I had figured they were

  avoiding me, and I had waited up for them, but at eleven-thirty

  I had given up and gone to bed.

  "I don't know. Maybe she just wanted a day off."

  "Huh." Maybe this was my chance: I could go upstairs

  right now and get her to answer all my questions.

  On the other hand, I would be late for school. And Cal was

  at school. Besides, if she wanted to tell me anything, she'd

  have told me by now. Right?

  I sighed. Or maybe the truth was, now that the chance

  was staring me in the face, as it were, I was afraid to seize it

  Scared of what I might learn.

  My Pop-Tarts leaped energetically out of the toaster and

  broke on the kitchen counter. I gathered up the pieces in a

  paper towel and gave my sister a gentle kick.

  "Let's go," I said. "Education awaits us." Mom would be

  home when I got out of school. I could talk to her then.

  Mary K. nodded and got into her coat

  As it turned out, my big confrontation didn't work out the

  way I'd planned. When I got home from school, I'd worked

  myself up for a real scene. I went up to Mom's room, threw

  open the door... and found her sound asleep. Her red hair lay

  across her pillow, and once again I noticed the silver strands in

  it Was it my imagination, or were there more of them than even

  a couple of days before?

  She looked so tired. I didn't have the heart to wake her.

  I crept out like a mouse. Then Tamara called and asked if

  I could come over and study with her for a calc test. So I went.

  Anything to get out of the house.

  I had dinner at Tamara's, and when I got home, Mom and

  Dad had both gone to bed.

  I went into the study and switched on the computer. I I

  wanted to go to one of the on-line Wicca sites and see if I I

  could find out the meaning of the runes on Selene I Belltower's

  door frame. I could still picture at least five of I them in my

  mind. I also wanted to look up Maeve Riordan's family tree

  again. Maybe there was some link I hadn't noticed or some

  other information I'd missed.

  While the computer booted up, I sat there, biting my

  thumbnail and thinking. Part of me was getting more and more

  wound up, the longer my parents avoided answering my

  questions. But I also had to admit that part of me was almost

  happy about these delays. I was honestly afraid of how painful

  and ugly the whole scene might be.

  I logged on and entered in the html address that I

  remembered from before. But instead of Maeve's family tree a

  message popped onto the screen:

  The page cannot be displayed. The page you ore looking

  for is currently unavailable. The Web site might be

  experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust

  your browser settings.

  I frowned. Had I entered the address wrong? I typed in

  Maeve Riordan and ran a search. Twenty-six matches popped

  up.

  Last time there had been twenty-seven.

  I scrolled rapidly down the list. No html. Was the

  genealogy site gone?

  I tried running a search for Ballynigel. That took me to a

  map site and opened a window with a map of Ireland.

  Ballynigel was a dot on the west coast. I couldn't zoom in on it.

  I typed in Belwicket and clicked the search button. I got

  no hits.

  I slapped the keyboard in frustration. The site was gone.

  Just gone. As if it had never been there.

  I told myself not to get too worked up. Maybe it was being

  upgraded or updated or something. If I just tried it again in a

  couple of days, it might well be back.

  Closing my eyes for a moment I tipped back my head and

  breathed deeply. Then, feeling calmer, I entered a Web address

  I'd gotten from Ethan—an address for a site about rune magick.

  In a moment the home page opened, and mysterious

  symbols glowed before my eyes. I leaned closer, my worries

  fading to the back of my mind as I began to read.

  It was nearly an hour later when I finally logged off and

  shut down the computer. When I closed my eyes, runes still

  danced across the insides of my lids. I'd learned a lot tonight.

  I picked up a pen and traced my new favorite rune on a

  scrap of paper that sat by the keyboard. Ken: It looked like a V

  turned on its side. It stood for fire, including inspiration and

  passion of spirit It was so simple, yet so strong.

  Underneath it I traced my other new favorite rune, Ur,

  strength.

  I sighed. I needed a lot of that right now.

  On Thursday afternoon I was startled when Mom came

  into the family room. I was watching Oprah and doing my

  American history homework.

  "Hi, Morgan," she said, sounding tentative. Her hair was

  brushed and held back from her face by two combs. She wore

  no makeup, but she had on a sweat suit embroidered with

  leaves. "Where's Mary K.?"

  "I dropped her at Jaycee's," I said.

  "Oh, all right" Mom wandered over to the far wall and

  picked up a clay pot that I'd made in third grade, then set it

  back down on its shelf. "Hey, how come I haven't seen Bree

  round this week?"

  I swallowed hard, replaying the scene yesterday in die

  cafeteria, when Bree and Raven had announced they were

  starting their own coven. I didn't think Bree would be s
pending

  a whole lot of time with me anymore.

  But I didn't have the strength to get into it with Mom right

  now. So I just said,"I guess she's been pretty busy."

  "Mmmm." To my surprise, Mom let it go at that. She

  prowled around the room some more, picking things up and

  putting them down. Then she said abruptly, "Mary K. says you

  have a boyfriend."

  "Huh? Oh, yeah," I said in surprise, realizing she wasn't

  up on the whole Cal thing. Of course. How could she have

  been? Cal and my discovery about my birth happened at almost

  the same time.

  "His name is Cal Blaire," I explained, feeling awkward.

  First of all, we'd never talked about boys before. There had

  never been anything to discuss. Second, why was I obligated to

  tell her anything? She obviously had no problem keeping

  secrets from me.

  But still, I'd had sixteen years of thinking of her as my

  mom. That habit was hard to break. "He and his mom moved

  here in September," I added.

  Mom leaned against the doorjamb. "What does he think of

  witchcraft?"

  I blinked and flicked off the TV. "Um, he likes it," I said

  stiffly.

  Mom nodded.

  "Why didn't you ever tell me that I was adopted?" I said,

  the words rushing out now that I had my chance.

  I saw her swallow as she searched for an answer. "There

  were some very good reasons at the time," she said finally. The

  silence of the house seemed to underscore her words.

  "Everyone says you're supposed to be open about it," I

  said. Already I could feel my throat getting tight, and suddenly

  my nerves felt like thorns.

  "I know," Mom said quietly. "I know you want—need—

  some answers."

  “I deserve some answers!” I said, raising my voice. "You

  and Dad lied to me for sixteen years! You lied to Mary KJ And

  everyone else knew the truth!”

  She shook her head, an odd look on her face. "No one

  knows the whole truth,” she said. "Not even your father and

  me.” "What does that mean?” I crossed my arms over my chest

  I tried to hold on to my anger so I wouldn't cry.

  "Your dad and I have been talking" she said. "We know

  you want to know. And we're going to tell you. Soon."

  "When?" I snapped

  Mom gave an odd smile, as if at a private joke. She was

  being so calm and yet looked so fragile that it was hard for me

  to stay angry. There was nothing here to fight against, and that

  pissed me off even more.

  "It's been sixteen years," she said gently. "Give us a few

  more days. I need time to think.”

  I stared at her in disbelief, but with that same odd smile

  she brushed her hand lightly against my cheek, then left the

  room.

  For some reason, the memory of my sneaking into my

  parents' bed at night, when I was little, came into my mind I

  used to worm my way in between them and go right to sleep.

  Nothing had ever felt so secure or so safe. Now it seemed

  strange. My childhood memories were being revised every day.

  The phone rang, and I seized it like a lifeline. I knew it

  was Cal.

  "Hi," said Cal, before I could speak, and a warm sense of

  comfort passed over me. "I miss you. Can I come over?"

  I went from utter despair to pure joy in one second.

  "Actually, could I come over there?" I asked.

  "You don't

  mind?"

  "Oh, God, no. I'll be right there, okay?"

  "Great," he said.

  I flew from the house, rushing toward happiness.

  Cal met me at the front door of his house. It was already

  almost dark, and the air felt heavy and damp, as if it might

  snow early this year.

  "I can only stay a little while," I said, my breath puffing

  slightly.

  "Thanks for coming," he said, leading me inside. “I could

  have come to your house."

  I shook my head, taking off my coat. "You have more

  privacy here," I said. "Is your mom home?"

  "No," said Cal as we started up the stairs to his room

  "She's at the hospital with someone from her coven. I have to

  go over later and help her." It occurred to me that the two of

  us were alone in his house. A little shiver of anticipation went

  through me.

  "I forgot to ask Robbie today," Cal said, opening the attic

  door to his room. "Is he getting new glasses?"

  "I don't know. They're going to do more tests." I rubbed

  my arms as we walked into Cal's room, even though it was

  toasty warm. I felt comfortable here, with Cal. The rest of my

  life might be in turmoil, but here I knew I had power. And I

  knew Cal understood. It gave me a wonderful feeling of relief.

  Looking around Cal's room, I remembered the night we

  had done a circle here and I had seen everyone's auras. It had

  been so seductive, being touched by magick. How could anyone

  not want to pursue it?

  Behind me Cal touched my arm, and I turned to him. He

  smiled at me. "I like having you here," he said. "And I'm glad

  you came. I wanted to give you something."

  I looked up at him questioningly.

  "Here." Reaching up, he untied the knot in the leather

  string around his neck. Its silver pentacle dangled, catching the

  lamplight and shining. This necklace had been one of the first

  things I'd noticed about him, and I remembered thinking how

  much I'd liked it I stepped closer, and Cal fastened it around

  my neck. It fell to a point above my breastbone, and he traced

  around it on my shirt.

  Thank you," I whispered. "It's beautiful." Reaching up my

  land, I curled it around his neck and pulled him to me. He met

  my kiss halfway.

  "How are things at home?" Cal asked a moment later, still

  holding me.

  I felt like I could tell him anything. "Strange," I said. I

  pulled myself out of his arms and walked around his room.

  "I've hardly seen my parents. Today Mom was home, and I

  asked her about being adopted, and she said she needed more

  time." I shook my head, looking at Cal's tall bookcase, its rows

  of books on witchcraft, spell making, herbs, runes.... I wanted

  to sit down and start reading and not get up for a long time.

  "Every time I think about how they lied to me, feel

  furious," I told Cal, my hands clenching into fists. I let out a

  breath. "But today my mom looked—I don't know. Older.

  Fragile, somehow."

  I stopped next to Cal's bed. He walked over to me and

  rubbed my back. I took his hand and brought it to my cheek.

  "Part of me feels like they're not my real family," I said,

  "And another part of me thinks, of course they're my real

  ramify. They feel like my real family.”

  He nodded, his hand stroking up and down my arm. "It's

  strange when people you think you know really well feel

  suddenly different somehow."

  He sounded like he was speaking from experience, and I

  looked up at him.

  "Like my father," he said. "He was the high priest of my

  mom's coven when they were married. A
nd he met another

  woman, another witch, in the coven. Mom and I used to make

  mean jokes about how she had put a love spell on him, but

  really, in the end, I think maybe he just... loved her more.”

  I heard the hurt in his voice and rested my head against

  his chest, my arms going around his waist.

  "They live in northern England now," Cal went on. His

  chest vibrated against my ear as he spoke. "She had a son, my

  age, from her first marriage, and they've had, I think, two more

  kids together."

  "That's awful," I said.

  He breathed in and out slowly. "I don't know. Maybe I'm

  just used to it now. But I just think that's how it goes. Nothing

  is static; things always change. The best you can do is change

  along with them and work with what you have."

  I was silent, thinking about my own situation.

  "I think the important thing is to get through the anger

  and negative feelings because they get in the way of magick,"

  Cal said. "It's hard, but sometimes you just have to decide to

  let those feelings go."

  His voice trailed off, and we stood there comfortably for a

  while. Finally, reluctantly, I glanced at my watch.

  "Speaking of going, I have to go," I said. "

  “Already?” Cal said, leaning down to kiss me. He

  murmured something against my lips.

  Smiling, I wriggled out of his grasp. "What did you say?"

  "Nothing." He shook his head. "I shouldn't have said

  anything."

  "What?" I asked again, concerned now. "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing's wrong," he said. "It's just . . . suddenly I

  thought of muirn beatha dan. You know."

  I looked at him. "What? What are you talking about?"

  "You know," he said again, sounding almost shy. "Muirn

  beatha dan. You've read about it, right?"

  I shook my head. "What is it?"

  "Um, soul mate," said Cal. "Life partner. Predestined

  mate." My heart almost stopped beating, and my breath froze

  in my throat. I couldn't speak.

  "In the form of Wicca that I practice," Cal explained, “we

  believe that for every witch, there's one true soul mate who's

  also a full-blooded witch; male or female, it doesn't matter.

  They're connected to that person, and belong together, and

  basically will only be truly happy with that person." He

  shrugged. "It sort of... came into my head just now, when we

  were kissing."

  "I never heard of it,' I whispered. "How do you know If it

  happens?"

  Cal laughed wryly. "That's the tricky part. Sometimes it