The Journey Home
Page 15
She cooed as she grabbed onto my finger. I gently traced a pattern on her cheek as she drank her bottle.
“Oh, God. Please don’t let me wake up to find this is all just a dream. I want nothing more than to be here. Right here where I am.” Gazing back at Lily, I continued, “Your daddy is an amazing man. I knew from the first moment I spoke to him. He charmed me and, before I knew it, I was in love. But I was so scared. I’d never experienced those feelings before, and the way I felt with him...” I chuckled. “I just didn’t know what to do with those feelings. I was starting a new job that was going to have me gone for six months. After meeting your dad, I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay with him forever and, let me tell you, that scared me. So I did what I did best when faced with something I didn’t want to deal with. I ignored it. It was the hardest thing I’d ever done, the moment I told your daddy I wasn’t interested in a relationship.” Lily stopped drinking, as if she was trying to focus on the story. I laughed and set the bottle down, before burping her.
“None of that matters now. It was a very long journey for me and your daddy. But we got you out of the deal, so that’s a big positive.”
Lily let out a burp that would put any man to shame.
“Good one.”
My skin felt like it was on fire. I must have had at least a dozen butterflies dancing in my stomach when Cale touched me on the arm.
I smiled at him. “Just spending some girl time together.”
He laughed and sat down across from me. “What a beautiful morning,” he said. “Want to take Lily on a walk before it gets too warm?”
I nearly jumped up as I said, “Yes!”
Cale must have known how much I’d missed Lily—he was totally letting me hog his daughter.
“May I give her a good morning kiss?” he asked as he pouted.
I giggled and handed Lily to him as I said, “If you must take her from me.”
Cale scooped Lily up into his arms and began walking across the deck. I pulled my legs up and tucked my knees under my chin as I watched the two of them together. I’d never seen a man so in love before. The way he looked at Lily made my heart soar. My eyes burned with tears. I wanted to share that with him—that bond. I looked away when I realized that I couldn’t. Lily wasn’t mine. As much as I wanted her to be mine, she was Zoey’s daughter. Zoey and Cale’s. What would I be to her? Would I ever be given the chance to give Cale a child of our own?
I quickly wiped a tear away as I looked out over the water. When I realized that Cale was standing in front of me, I tried to pull myself together. I didn’t want him to know I was upset so I jumped up and began to walk back into the house.
“I’ll go get her a jacket.”
Cale gently took hold of my arm and stopped me. “Maddie, look at me.”
I closed my eyes and fought like hell to stop my silly crying. “I…I can’t.”
Cale turned me around and I stared at my feet.
“Maddie, please look at me,” he begged. “Please don’t push me away. Tell me what you’re thinking. What you’re feeling.”
I looked into his eyes. “I wish it had been me.”
He tilted his head, confused. “What had been you?”
I glanced down at Lily, who was now sleeping peacefully in her father’s arms.
“I wish I had been the one to give you…to…” A sob escaped me as I tried to control my emotions.
Cale placed his hand on my cheek. “Tell me. Please.”
“I wish Lily was mine. I wish I’d been the one to give you your first child. I want so much to be…to be…” I finally just let it go and started crying. “I’m so sorry I pushed you away. I wanted it to be me. Oh, God, how I wanted it to be me.”
Cale gently pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head. “Baby, please don’t cry. It tears my heart out to see you cry. You and Lily are my whole life now. It’s just the three of us.”
I pulled back and met his eyes. “How can you forgive me? How can you just let me walk back into your life?”
He smiled. “Because I love you. And Lily loves you. Because I need you and she…” he looked down at Lily and smiled bigger. “She needs you, Maddie. When I think of my future, I can only imagine it with you. Don’t you know by now? You’re my everything.”
I sucked in a breath. “I think I’d better go home and pack a suitcase.”
Cale laughed. “I think you’d better pack more than a suitcase. I just got you back—I have no intentions of letting you go.
THE MINUTE I opened the door and walked into the house, I smiled. Maddie was in the kitchen singing to Lily. I’d been coming home from the office to this same scene for the last month.
I set down my briefcase and inhaled what smelled like lasagna…and cake. “Maddie? I’m home, baby.”
Maddie peeked around the corner and smiled. “Welcome home, Daddy. We have big plans for Miss Lily’s three-month birthday party this evening.”
I laughed, shaking my head. “Oh yeah?”
When she stepped around the corner I about dropped to my knees. “Oh, yeah. Daddy gets his gift first though.”
My eyes took in every inch of her body. She was dressed in a red corset, thigh-high stockings, and white heels. I moved my eyes back up to her beautiful face. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun.
“Um…I wasn’t aware that it was my birthday today, too,” I said as I discarded my jacket and began loosening my tie.
Maddie bit her lip and shook her head. “It isn’t.”
“Why the gift then?” I stood in front of her, immediately drawn to her emerald eyes.
“Because both our parents are coming over this evening for the party, and with your parents staying the night, I thought we might…play before everyone gets here.”
I closed my eyes and moaned before opening them again. “Have I told you today how much I love you?”
The smile that played across her face had my dick rock hard. She put a chocolate-covered spatula in her mouth and moaned before pulling it out and pouting. “Not in at least six hours, but you should probably give Lily some loving before I ask you to make love to me in the kitchen.”
I swallowed hard and looked over to Lily sitting in her swing with a huge smile on her face. My mother said Lily could sense the love between Maddie and me. I was starting to think my mother was right.
I cupped Maddie’s face in my hands as I leaned down to kiss her. “I love you,” I whispered against her lips.
I winked at her and made my way over to my princess. Lily was kicking as fast as she could. “Hello there, princess. Daddy missed you so much today.”
I unbuckled her and scooped her up into my arms. She laughed when I kissed her on the cheek. “I love that she is laughing now,” I said.
“Oh my gosh,” Maddie said. “You have to see what she does when you put the plastic mirror in her crib. I swear she was talking to herself. Oh! Then, I swear, she tried to pull herself up. I mean, wait until you see how strong she is, Cale.”
I turned to Maddie. My heart soared and I couldn’t believe how incredibly lucky I was to have her.
She crinkled up her nose in that cute way she does and asked, “Why are you staring at me like that?”
I let out a soft laugh. “Because you’re standing there, looking sexy as hell, with a spatula in one hand, and you’re talking about our daughter. It’s a dream come true.”
Her eyes filled with tears and I knew it was because I’d said our daughter. “Cale,” she whispered.
I gave Lily another kiss. “Princess, your mommy has me all kinds of crazy right now. Daddy-daughter time will be in a few minutes.” I placed her back into the swing and buckled her in. When I stood up, Maddie had tears running down her face. I’d never unbuttoned my shirt so fast in my life. I threw it to the floor and unbuckled my belt as Maddie stared.
She dropped the spatula when I pulled her close. I ran my hand up her backside to her neck and grabbed a handful of hair as I pressed m
y lips against hers.
“I’m going to need that gift now, Maddie.”
I kissed her as she ran her hands through my hair.
“The baby…” she whispered.
I turned and saw Lily staring at us. I jogged over to the swing and turned it just a little, then wound up the mobile. Lily’s eyes were fixed on the pink horses.
“She won’t ever remember even if she does see,” I said as I grabbed Maddie and picked her up, pulling her corset down—it pushed her breasts up beautifully.
I began sucking on her nipple as she moaned. “But…”
I pulled my lips from her nipple but not before gently biting down, making her hiss. “Maddie,” I said, “let me make love to you.”
She looked into my eyes. “Okay,” she whispered, slamming her lips to mine.
I pulled away from her lips slightly. “Do you like these panties?” I asked as I moved my hands down to the lacey fabric.
“Kind of…I just bought them.”
I set her back down and dropped to my knees. I caressed her legs, slowly moving my hands up. “I’m going to leave the stockings on, along with your beautiful shoes.” I said, smiling at her as she bit down on her finger. “But these panties have to go.”
I pulled them once and watched them fall apart in my hand.
“Oh God,” Maddie said as she grabbed the counter.
I stood back up and smiled. “I’m going to pick you up and I want you to put your legs over my shoulders, baby.”
Her eyes widened. “Um…okay,” she said, licking her lips. When I lifted her and got her where I wanted her I told her to lean against the wall.
“Oh God, Cale…I’m…it’s not going to…”
I licked across her clit and she yelled out my name. I loved having her so exposed to me like this. She ran her hands through my hair and pulled my face closer to her.
“More...”
I pushed my face into her and began sucking and licking her. It didn’t take long for her to say my name over and over as she rocked her hips into me.
“Oh God…I can’t take anymore…Cale!” she panted as I continued my assault on her clit.
I pulled my face away and grabbed her and lifted her off of me. I slowly slid her back down my body as she smiled. “Jesus, Cale. That was the hottest damn thing ever.”
“I’m not done yet.”
Maddie smiled as I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around me. I set Maddie down on the island.
“Lay down, Maddie.”
I pushed my pants and boxer briefs down and kicked them to the side. I jumped onto the island and positioned myself over her. “I love you, Maddie. I love you so much.”
I pushed my dick slowly into her as she arched her back and grabbed my shoulders.
“Cale…I love you. I love you,” she breathed.
I kissed her neck as she wrapped her arms around me. Moving to her ear, I whispered, “I’ll love you forever and always, Maddison. I swear to God, I’ll love you forever.”
When she wrapped her legs around me and started calling out my name, I pushed in harder and released everything into her. I could feel myself pouring into her body. I loved making love to Maddie, and being together as one. We would always end our lovemaking by kissing each other as my dick twitched back to life inside her. It was as if neither one of us wanted to be apart from the other.
I rested my elbows on either side of her face and used my thumbs to wipe away her tears. “Please tell me those are happy tears, baby.”
She closed her eyes and nodded before opening her eyes again. “I love being with you. I love seeing you with Lily and I love—” her voice cracked and a small sob escaped her.
“Tell me Maddie,” I whispered as I gently kissed her tears away.
“I love you calling me mommy. And I really love you calling Lily our daughter.”
Maddie cried harder as I quickly moved off of her and jumped down. I put my boxers back, then picked her up and held her in my arms as I placed her back down.
“You are her mother, Maddie. Please don’t ever doubt that. And some day, we’ll give Lily a brother or sister.”
Maddie buried her face in my neck and cried. “I don’t deserve your love, Cale.”
I pulled her closer. “Tell me you love me.”
She pulled back and looked into my eyes. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you, Cale Blackwood. I love you more than I love the air I breathe.”
Lily made a few loud noises, as if she was letting us know she was still there.
“I better go shower and change before our parents get here.” Maddie said as she kissed me. She sucked in my lower lip and nibbled it.
“Jesus, Maddie. Do you know how you drive me crazy?”
She stood up and winked before she walked over to Lily and kissed her. “Enjoy your time with Daddy, baby girl.”
I got up and reached back down for my pants. I watched Maddie walk through the living room, toward the hallway that led to our bedroom.
I washed my hands and face before I turned and looked at my little princess. “You, my dear, are one good little girl. To let mommy and daddy have time together like that.” I shook my head and unbuckled her. “Let’s go have a dance outside shall we?”
I walked outside and took in a deep breath of the cool, fall air. Lily loved being outside. Anytime she was fussy, all we had to do was walk out to the deck—she was instantly calmed.
I didn’t want to stay outside too long, since it was chilly out. I held Lily close to my chest and sang to her as we danced. I had been doing the same routine since starting work. Every night when I was done working I brought Lily out onto the deck and danced with her.
“You know, she’s going to have you wrapped around her little finger,” Maddie said with a giggle.
I smiled and turned to her. I stopped moving as I saw the breathtaking woman before me. She had changed into a tan dress that fell just above her knees. It flared out at the bottom, but fit her curves in the most amazing way. She had on light tan heels and she’d put her hair up, but with a few curls framing her delicate face.
“Maddie, you look…you’re stunning.”
She blushed and looked away briefly before turning back to me. “Thank you. Your mom and dad will be here in a few minutes. I’ll go change the birthday girl and put her in a new outfit I bought today.”
I walked over and handed Lily to her. I rolled my eyes as I watched her head upstairs with our daughter. “I think that child has an outfit for every day of the year.”
“Not yet, but we’re getting close,” Maddie called back. I laughed as I made my way to our bedroom.
I’d never felt so happy in my entire life.
“OH MADDIE! IT’S beautiful,” Mary said as she admired the three-tiered cake on the kitchen island. It was covered in adorable, pink teddy bears. I’d almost forgotten to clean and sanitize the kitchen before everyone arrived for the party. I felt my face blush at the memory of Cale and I making love on the island.
I smiled and said, “I guess it’s a little overboard for just three months, but I was so excited.”
Mary waved her hand. “Nonsense. Nothing is too much for Lily.”
Monica laughed and shook her head. “Cale’s mom is just being polite, aren’t you, Mary?” Monica winked at Mary as they both laughed quietly. “I can’t wait to see what you do for her one year birthday,” Monica said. “Will there be a circus there?”
I glared at her. “Ha-ha.”
My mother came into the kitchen holding Lily. I smiled at her, but didn’t receive a smile in return. Our relationship was still sour, even with Cale working for my father.
“I remember when you were this age, Maddie. I wonder what Lily’s mom looked like at this age.” My smile faded and my heart instantly hurt. My mother had to rub in the fact that Lily was not my biological daughter.
I felt a hand on my arm. I turned to see Mary. She seemed understanding of my struggle, unlike my own mother.
“Nan
cy,” she said. “I’d love to get coffee together sometime.”
My mother’s eyes lit up. “I’d love that, Mary. Maybe we can invite Maddie along, see what she plans on doing with her life now. Perhaps she’ll pursue a new career with her father’s company.”
I turned away and rolled my eyes. I opened the drawer and pulled out the cake slicer.
“Actually, Mother,” I said, “I’ve found a little part-time job.”
“Really? Where?” My mother asked.
She handed Lily to Mary, who swayed back and forth as she hummed to the baby.
I took in a slow, deep breath. “Crystal Bridges. I’m working in the library, assisting one of the librarians.”
Mary smiled, as did Monica. My mother, though, had a look of horror on her face.
“What? You’re working at an art museum?” she asked.
I smiled and nodded my head. “Yep.”
She pursed her lips in distaste and squinted down with one eye, looking like she wanted to throw up. “What do you do in this assistant position?”
I shrugged and reached into another draw for three candles and a book of matches. “I shelve books, answer emails. Oh! And she’s showing me how to order books for our branch. I check out books, help people find materials…things like that.”
My mother put her hand to her chest and gasped. “Maddison Powers! If you’d wanted to be a file clerk, you could have just skipped college and gone to work in the mailroom at Powers Communications. It would have saved us money.”
Monica turned to my mother, a nasty look on her face. “Has anyone every told you that you’re a—”
“Well, let’s see about getting that cake out to the gentlemen, shall we?” Mary said, quickly putting out the fire that was just getting started.
My mother spun on her heels and stormed out of the kitchen. I felt tears threaten my eyes as Monica gave me a hug.
“Don’t listen to her, Maddie,” she whispered. “She’s just an old bitch with a crusty vagina.”
I nodded and giggled as Monica made her way out to the living room.
I took a deep breath as I attempted to get my shaking hands under control. I was never inviting my mother here again.