Fumbled (Playbook, The)

by Alexa Martin

  I was going to lie. Maybe say I was going on a date or something else more believable, but seeing how nervous he is and knowing how hard this must be for him, I don’t. “I was actually going to see you.”

  The dimple reappears along with the creases around his eyes. “Lucky me.”

  “We have a lot to talk about, TK,” I say, my tone serious. “You disappeared for a month. Do you understand how hard that was on Ace?”

  And me? I think, but don’t say.

  “I was scared. The last time I saw you, I fucked up.” His voice drops and lines I haven’t noticed before crease his forehead. Lines that show his age and pain. “I messed up with you and with Ace. Justin called me, telling me he had to hide Vonnie’s keys so she couldn’t come over and murder me.”

  That makes me smile. Vonnie was almost as upset as I was and she let everyone know.

  “And I knew you were right and I was fucking up, but I didn’t know why.” He takes a hesitant step toward me. “I stayed up all night looking up CTE. Reading about the early warning signs, watching interviews with older players, reading interviews from the widows of players who died.”

  His voice hitches and it’s all I need to hear to close the rest of the distance between us. I take his hands in mine, hoping he accepts the only comfort I can offer.

  “I found a clinic.” He links our fingers together, a small smile touching his lips. “I wasn’t sure it could work, but I stayed up all night trying to find success stories, and when I knew Donny would be up, I called him and had him get me in.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I try to fight back the frustration I feel. “I would’ve supported you.”

  “I know you would’ve, but I was skeptical. I didn’t think it’d work.” He takes a deep breath that causes me to brace. “And if it didn’t, I thought you and Ace were better off with me out of the picture.”

  “TK.” I close my eyes, feeling as if someone has shoved a knife into my heart. “That’s not true.”

  “You don’t understand where my head was. I read all of these stories about men who were unrecognizable when they died. They became physically abusive, cheated on their wives, lost all their money. I didn’t want to do that to you and Ace.”

  “But you’re here now,” I reply, stating the obvious.

  “I’m here now.” The memories haunting his face fade away, leaving the green eyes I could live in staring back at me. “I feel better than I’ve felt in years. So I’m here.”

  I take a deep breath and try to take a step back. Since he’s been so honest, I know I have to open up, too.

  “I don’t want you to resent me.” I look at my shoes when TK doesn’t let me pull away. “First I come barging into your life, throwing a kid at you, then I forced you to leave your beautiful house to move into my tiny house, and now you quit football for me.”

  “Stop.” TK wraps a hand around the back of my neck. “You didn’t make me choose.”

  “I might not have told you to choose, but I forced your hand.” I close my eyes, guilt bringing me to the verge of tears.

  TK drops his mouth to my ear and whispers, “Look at me, Sparks.”

  I missed hearing him call me that more than I let myself admit.

  “You didn’t make me choose and you didn’t force my hand.” He holds my face between his hands, wiping away the tears as they fall. “You just showed me what was important in life. You gave me the purpose I’d been trying, unsuccessfully, to find in football.”

  “But you walked away from so much money.” I hiccup, sounding like a blubbering idiot.

  “I have a great financial advisor who made sure I put most of my money away and invested wisely. Donny is good at his job, and after I signed my last contract, he had me put in place an eight-million-dollar disability insurance policy I’ll collect.” He smiles at me when my jaw drops open. “Plus, my house is worth more now than when I bought it, and I already have a buyer on the hook.”

  “Holy crap.” There’s a lot to unpack. “You get eight million dollars for quitting?”

  “Not quitting. Leaving the sport because I was injured.”

  “Okay.” I shake my head, still stuck on the other thing he said. “You’re selling your house?”

  “I hated that house, my mom pushed me into getting it.”

  “I knew it!” I shout, interrupting him. “That house was so not you.”

  “I know.” He smiles before dropping a quick kiss to my forehead. “And it’s too far from you guys. I found a house a few blocks from here. It’s got two extra rooms, a decent-size yard, and is close to Ace’s school.”

  I blink.

  “You . . . you what?”

  “I found a house,” he repeats, cocking his head to the side and studying my face. “Is that not okay?”

  I shake my head, trying to activate my brain again. “I mean, it’s fine. Is this place too small?”

  Now it’s his turn to look confused.

  “I didn’t think you’d want me back in after everything that happened.”

  “What happened was you got hurt, listened to my fears, and got help.” I put my hands on my hips. “We love you and miss the hell out of you. Come back home.”

  “You love me?”

  “I already told you I love you!” I go to shove his chest again, but he grabs my hands instead, pulling me into him and wrapping my hands behind his back before dropping them.

  “I was concussed. I thought I imagined it.”

  I roll my eyes, knowing he remembers and this isn’t the last time I’m going to hear about him being “concussed.”

  He looks down at me, his eyes going soft. “Say it again,” he whispers.

  I don’t hesitate.

  “I love you.”

  “Good.” He smiles, dropping his mouth to mine, kissing me softly. “Because I love you too.”

  He goes to kiss me again, but I pull away before he can.

  “I have one condition if you move back in.”

  A guard shutters his eyes and his shoulders tense. “What?”

  “I’m gonna need you to grow your beard back.” I run my fingertips along his bare cheeks. “I liked how it felt.”

  He doesn’t answer and his eyes don’t go soft again.

  Instead they fill with something that makes my toes curl and my thighs clench.

  Then he kisses me until the door opens behind us.

  “Disgusting,” Ace says, startling us both. “Just promise not to ever kiss in front of me again. Okay, Dad?”

  My vision goes watery again and I watch TK’s arms go around Ace as he pulls him in tight.

  “Can’t promise that, dude,” TK says. “I kind of planned on showing you both how much I love you as often as I can. So I’ll probably be kissing your mom a lot and embarrassing you in front of your friends when I eat lunch with you at school. That all right with you?”

  “So you’re back?” Ace asks, trying not to sound too hopeful.

  “I’m never leaving again.” And it’s not just words, it’s a fierce promise, a vow I know he will never break.

  “Good.” Ace smiles, his cool nine-year-old persona firmly in place. “Mom was going nuts without you.”

  I feel my eyes bug out of my head, betrayed by my own flesh and blood! I open my mouth to deny it, but TK beats me to it.

  “That’s all right, I was going crazy without you guys too.”

  I suck in a sharp breath and blink hard.

  And when I open them, staring back at me is my family.

  It only took ten years.

  Freaking finally.

  Epilogue

  “It’s starting!” Aviana shouts at the crowd milling around HERS. “Be quiet!”

  I sit down next to TK, staring at my ring as it catches the light, still not quite believing I’m getting married. “She�
��s insane,” he whispers in my ear.

  I smile and nod, because he’s right.

  “I can’t believe she found enough people for the show.” I keep my voice low as the lights go down and the opening for Love the Player starts to play.

  “I can.” He looks at me like I’m crazy. “Dixie has been vying for fame since she put that ring on her finger and Aviana should really get into the business with how well she pitched this shit.”

  “You know Dixie’s ass is gonna be the villain and get kicked off after the season ends,” Vonnie says, not caring who hears her.

  “Damn, girl!” Justin’s eyes double in size as he looks over his shoulder for Chad. “You know I still have to get along with her husband, right?”

  “And?” She rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her martini. “That has nothing to do with me.”

  “You need another drink?” Jenna, the waitress Brynn hired after I gave my notice, asks.

  “I’m fine for now, thank you.” I smile at her, understanding how she feels being stuck in a room full of Lady Mustangs.

  “Girl, you better stop nursing that drink.” Vonnie arches a brow and purses her lips.

  “I have to,” I pout. “I have to go home and study some more, I have a huge test in my psych class tomorrow. Plus, TK’s mom is coming into town tomorrow afternoon.”

  Vonnie’s eyes go wide and she doesn’t have to even open her mouth for me to know exactly what’s going through her mind.

  “It should be fine. We’ve talked a few times. She’s obsessed with Ace now and we’ll play nice for him.” I answer the unspoken questions.

  “Look at you.” Sadie slides in next to me. “Being all responsible and engaged and shit.”

  Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes.

  “I can’t believe you’re here and still haven’t made time to come see the house.”

  Since leaving Maya’s house isn’t an option for me, TK hired a design company to do all the changes I could’ve ever wanted. I even redid Maya’s room. I almost didn’t, but I know she’d want me to fill her room with more babies, not keep it as some shrine to her.

  “You guys are always holding hands and kissing. It’s gross.” Sadie scrunches her nose. “Plus, Brynn promised me free booze if I came and kept her company tonight.”

  “Then it looks like you’re slipping on the job.” I point out the obvious.

  “I was sitting at the bar for the last hour. Trust me, I wasn’t the company she wanted.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

  I’m trying to be discreet and see what the hell Sadie’s talking about, when the sound of shattering glass pulls my attention to the bar anyway.

  “What the fuck?” Brynn screeches, her eyes focused on Maxwell. The two bottom shelves behind the bar are broken, and shattered bottles cover the counter beneath them. “Get the fuck out of here!”

  TK comes unfrozen first and crosses the room. I follow him, but when he grabs Maxwell and walks him to the door, I walk around the bar to help Brynn.

  We get all the glass picked up, the liquor cleaned, and through it all, Brynn doesn’t say a single word. Then, when it’s all finished, she turns and walks to her office, slamming the door shut behind her.

  “What the hell happened?” I ask TK, who came to help with cleanup after he got Maxwell to leave.

  He shrugs. “No clue, Max didn’t tell me anything.”

  “That was crazy.” I’ve never seen Maxwell so much as raise his voice. This is so out of character, I can’t begin to wrap my mind around it.

  “Yeah,” he agrees. “That’s a nice way to put it.”

  “I think I’m ready to go home.” Being around the Lady Mustangs is taxing on a good night . . . and this was not a good night.

  “You sure you have to study?” His fingers stroke his now fully regrown beard.

  I bite my lip and rub my thighs together.

  “I mean, I’ve already studied a lot.”

  He grabs my hand, pulling me behind him as he gets my purse from the table and drags me out the front door.

  When we get home, the only studying I do is the way his mouth feels on me and how he feels inside me.

  And it’s a subject I’m going to dedicate the rest of my life to mastering.

  Photo by Kristie Chadwick

  Alexa Martin is a writer and stay-at-home mom. She lives in Colorado with her husband—a former NFL player who now coaches at the high school where they met—their four children, and a German shepherd. When she’s not telling her kids to put their shoes on . . . again, you can find her catching up with her latest book boyfriend or on Pinterest pinning meals she’ll probably never make. The Playbook series is inspired by the eight years she spent as an NFL wife.

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