Banker's Draft

by Clive Mullis

  Cornwallis met a grinning Frankie on the landing as he made his way down, a safe and unharmed Isabella clinging onto his arm. He sighed in relief, all had gone to plan, and no one had been hurt; well, none of the good guys anyway.

  On the ground floor MacGillicudy called up. ‘You done up there, Jack? Only we’ve just found the cellar.’

  They all stood in the back room of the house and listened at the door to the sounds that came up from below. MacGillicudy winced at the thwacking noises, closely followed by cries of pain and a pitiful whimpering moan. ‘If he’s paying for that then he wants his head examined,’ he opined, to everyone’s agreement.

  Cornwallis decided they had to clear the house once and for all. He began to descend the stairs, followed by Rose and MacGillicudy and then Dewdrop and Gerald. Frankie held back until last, as Isabella still clung onto his arm and he got to like it. The bottom step creaked and then splintered, and Cornwallis had to move quickly before it gave way. He listened for a few moments, concerned that the noise of the step had given away their presence; but he needn’t have worried, as another thwack came and then a moan. The moan turned to a whimper and he decided that the time to finish had arrived; he then slowly turned the door handle.

  The door opened and everybody began to pile through. Once inside, they all looked at a sight that none of them had ever seen before. The woman wore high-heeled thigh-high leather boots, a leather thong, and a tiny leather support for her chest; there was absolutely no doubt that she was superbly built.

  ‘Wow,’ said Dewdrop, his tongue hanging out.

  She wore a leather mask and had long dark hair down to her waist. Her elbow length gloves held two whips, both directed at a naked man standing on a little turntable. Above his head, he had his arms tied to a similar turntable, and the whole seemed to spin around. They had come through the door at the same time as the woman struck, and the man moaned again. Rose’s eyes widened as he obviously enjoyed the experience.

  The woman spun her head at the intrusion. She hesitated for just a moment, and then struck out at Cornwallis with the long whip, cracking the air. He just managed to get his arm up in time, but felt the sting as the end whipped around his wrist, but then he yanked back with his arm and the whip flew out of her hand. Dewdrop had obviously found his courage a little earlier when he had smacked the man on the head, because now he raised his truncheon and stepped towards the woman.

  ‘I am arresting y—’ He never got any further as the woman grabbed hold of his truncheon and pulled him towards her. She expertly spun him, wrapping her arm around his throat and pulling him tight in against her. His legs buckled, and his head nestled between two very interesting looking earmuffs.

  The man spun and then came to a stop facing Cornwallis and the others.

  ‘Oh, Gods,’ he whined, as his excitement waned.

  ‘Radstock!’ exclaimed Cornwallis, recognising the man. ‘It’s Bertram bloody Radstock!’

  ‘Oh, Gods,’ he whined again.

  The woman dragged Dewdrop over to the side and grabbed a silver toasting fork off the table, she held it out towards Cornwallis and began to manoeuvre her way to the door. As she edged closer she kept everyone away with repeated stabs of the fork, but then Dewdrop excelled himself. He turned his head until he had the left one in reach of his mouth and bit down hard. The woman screamed, dropping Dewdrop like a hot coal. Cornwallis took his chance and pounced.

  Cornwallis had the sensation of feeling soft warm flesh as he flung himself onto her. They clattered to the floor and he heard the rush of air as it gushed out of her lungs. He reached for the fork and managed to dislodge it from her grip, just as Rose and MacGillicudy dived on top. The short fight was over quickly as her arms were now pinned to the side. Cornwallis breathed, relaxed, and then remembered what and whom he was lying on top of; he then scrambled to get up.

  Dewdrop had regained his footing and stood looking at the woman with a mixture of admiration, desire, and distaste. She had been perspiring with the effort of using the whip and he could still taste her salt in his mouth. He licked his lips, his mind full of “what if’s?”

  As Rose and MacGillicudy dragged her to her feet, she seemed to sag, as it now dawned on her that the game had finished.

  Cornwallis stepped closer, and then reached out to grab her mask. ‘Let’s see who we are, shall we?’ he said, prising the mask up.

  He stood back, and he stared in shock.

  ‘Mrs Fitchley,’ exclaimed Radstock, from his upright spit.

  ‘No, it isn’t,’ replied Cornwallis, shaking his head. ‘It’s Mrs Gridlington!’

  From somewhere she found a smile and held her head up high. ‘That’s the second handful you’ve had off me, Jack Cornwallis, but if you let me go, I’ll let you have as many handfuls as you like.’

  Cornwallis chuckled wryly and shook his head. ‘Thank you for the offer, but I don’t think I’ll take it up, but you could tell me why.’

  She chewed her lip for a moment, and part of him felt gratified to see that she seemed a little disappointed. ‘Why what? If you mean why did I come to work for you? It’s so that I could know what you were up to and where you were going. You were getting to be quite a nuisance. It’s just a pity that I got saddled with amateurs who couldn’t do their jobs properly.’

  ‘No, not that. I mean Isabella.’

  She laughed. ‘It wasn’t meant to be her, only the boys got it wrong. It should have been this one,’ and she tilted her head towards Rose. ‘A pity, as she would have made some good money for me; mind, Miss Thrape would have brought in a bob or two too.’

  ‘You had no intention of releasing her then, you sent that ransom note just to give you time to get away?’

  ‘Release her? Of course not, we would have been well away by then.’

  ‘On the ship? The Greyhawk?’

  Mrs Gridlington stared at Cornwallis, her composure beginning to slip; she looked a bit worried now.

  ‘It wouldn’t have arrived; it’s currently in the hands of… Well, let’s just say we have it safe,’ he continued.

  Her eyes widened and Cornwallis grinned.

  ‘You have the gold then,’ she replied deflated. It was a statement, not a question, and Cornwallis remembered that the Bagman had said they’d found nothing. He didn’t think the Bagman would lie about that, so where had it gone?

  ‘And to think I actually liked you,’ said Rose with a sad shake of the head.

  Cornwallis decided to change tack. ‘Kintersbury and Dumchuck were taking their orders from you, weren’t they?’

  Miss Lena/Mrs Fitchley/Mrs Gridlington nodded. ‘Of course they were; they’re customers of mine. I just persuaded them to take their subservience a little bit further.’

  Gerald peered closer at her. ‘Hmmmm,’ he said, thoughtfully. He then snapped his fingers. ‘I know yer, don’t I? Yer Glenda Pilchard, a tuppeny tom from the Brews, ain’t ya?’

  She looked at Gerald with loathing. ‘And you would know, wouldn’t you, seeing as you used to take advantage. It’s men like you who made me what I am today. Just use me and discard me, eh? Good for nothing else, eh? A quick knee trembler to clear out the custard, eh? What a man, eh? I probably told you how good you were, that you were a real man, eh? I was just a young girl with no money doing the only thing I could to get by. I got the bruises too, got knocked about a bit. But you wouldn’t have worried about that, no, just whip it out, shove it in, and give it a wiggle. That’s why I decided to do this, time for me to get my own back,’ she spat, contemptuously.

  At least Gerald had the decency to look ashamed, and he nodded as if he agreed with her. ‘I wondered where you ‘ad gone,’ he said lamely.

  ‘But why?’ asked Rose aghast. ‘You would have sent Isabella or me to that sort of life, why?’

  She turned her head to look at Rose. ‘Simple. You have it too easy.’

  All those arrested were led out of the front door to the waiting feelers. Big George and Chalkie dragged their prisone
rs through the house and chucked them into the hurry-up, which now had got quite full. They released Radstock, though they were tempted to leave him in situ for quite a while longer.

  As they filled up the wagon, a man approached. ‘You’ve done well, Mr Cornwallis,’ said Sparrow. ‘Mr Hawk is going to be pleased. However, you still have the other two to find.’

  Cornwallis whipped his head around and regarded the man with distaste. ‘You, Sparrow. Go away. Now.’

  He smiled back. ‘I don’t think so. I’ll take care of these fine looking people you have here, thank you.’

  Frankie and Rose came and stood either side of Cornwallis. ‘You won’t,’ growled Frankie, ‘they’re all ours.’

  Sparrow chuckled. ‘No, I… nuh!’ He didn’t get any further.

  Cornwallis stepped forward and let fly with his fist. Sparrow’s head snapped back and the nose sort of collapsed in on itself. Before he hit the ground, he was unconscious.

  Cornwallis shook his hand. ‘Ow, that hurt. But by the Gods was it worth it.’

  ‘What are we going to do with him?’ asked Rose, looking down on Sparrow.

  ‘Throw him in with the others. Let the Bagman sort it out,’ replied Cornwallis, indifferently. ‘And it’s my guess it will take quite some while. In the meantime we have to go and pick up Kintersbury and Dumchuck, and I know where they are.’

  *

  They found Algernon at the Collider, still being diligent, following Kintersbury and Dumchuck out from the bank and into the countryside to the Universal Collider. They were just debating what to do when Cornwallis happened upon them.

  MacGillicudy had commandeered a wagon and they’d hurried out with Gerald and Isabella as well, so all in all there were six of them. Rose had been very subdued on the journey out, and Cornwallis could only think it had something to do with Glenda Pilchard. He had tried to break through the barrier, but she had steadfastly refused to let him get inside. Isabella on the other hand hadn’t let it worry her one little bit, and she laughed easily at Frankie’s jokes, a little disconcerting because they were never funny. Even Gerald was unusually quiet, and a polite enquiry just elicited a grunt in reply. So it just left Cornwallis and MacGillicudy to talk between themselves for a while.

  They now stared at the edifice built into the hillside as they discussed the best way forward.

  ‘Why don’t we just wait until they come back out?’ suggested Rose, coming back a little to her normal self. ‘It’s not as though they can get lost in the streets.’

  Cornwallis nodded. ‘But they have horses tethered in the compound, and I don’t fancy chasing them all the way back to Gornstock. No, I think we will go in and catch them; they’ll be trapped inside. Algernon here can wait outside, just in case. How many have you with you Algie?’

  ‘Three and me,’ replied Algernon.

  Cornwallis nodded again. ‘Good. If they come out without us then do what you like with them, only don’t let them get away.’

  The wagon rolled forward into the entrance to the Universal Collider. Cornwallis had never been here before, as he’d never really seen the point. Why spend all that money trying to find out your future, when the really interesting part of it was to let it all happen without knowing what was going to happen. To his mind, if you found out was going to happen and decided to do something about what you had learnt, then whatever was going to happen wouldn’t happen, so in effect something else would happen, and then where would you be? Having to go back to the Collider to find out what would happen. You would just go around in circles all the time, and nothing would happen except what should happen. So he saw no point in trying to find out what was going to happen in the first place. It seemed simple to him.

  They left the wagon tied up in a line of coaches, and the six of them made their way to the entrance. It would be MacGillicudy’s warrant card that would get them in, otherwise it would have be Cornwallis’ pocket, which he was loathed to do, as he knew how deep it would have to be. However, the jobsworth in the Collider wouldn’t let anyone in, not without a paper signed by the Justice, who at that moment probably wondered how his basting experience on the spit had come to an abrupt stop in the cellar. They should have brought Radstock with them. Frustrated they turned tail and walked back outside.

  Cornwallis tried to think, and then an idea came into his mind. ‘Gerald,’ he began. ‘Can you remember how you got in all those years ago?’

  ‘Uh?’ replied Gerald, still in his reflective mood. ‘Oh, right. Erm, yes, I think so. Why?’

  ‘Because that’s the way we’re going to get in.’

  Gerald took them around the back of the Collider to where it looked for all intents and purposes just a hill in the landscape, but as they began to climb up the slope, they saw small vents cut into the hillside.

  ‘Where’s all the security?’ asked Rose.

  ‘They don’t think they need it,’ replied Gerald. ‘The vents are locked, so as far as they’re concerned the Collider is secure. This one’ll do.’ They gathered around a small vent with a side opening, and Gerald dug into his pocket. ‘I know I gotta key here somewhere,’ and he smiled at them as he produced the lock-pick.

  It didn’t take long with an expert like Gerald. The little lock began to grate, and then it clicked. The bars on the vent swung open slowly, and then all of them looked deep inside.

  ‘Now the way to get down is to keep pressure on the sides, if yer don’t, it will be like going down one o’ them kiddy slides. An’ keep quiet, as the sound will travel. It’s downhill all the way, so I’ll lead, an’ I’ll try an’ remember the way.’

  One by one, they all started to climb in. Cornwallis followed Gerald and then came Rose and MacGillicudy with Isabella behind him. Frankie brought up the rear, making sure he pulled the vent to, but it missed the catch and swung open a bit as he moved on down.

  A bit like a caterpillar, the awkward little procession crawled along. There were times when the vent got a little steep, but with care, they slowly made their way into the inner depths of the Collider. Gerald had to think hard at several junctions, but in time, they began to hear the noises of people talking. They were getting close now, and Cornwallis could only hope they were in the right area.

  The vent then began to go horizontal, with gaps where short extensions branched down into a room. As they passed over, they looked down, trying to figure out where they were. But as the only person who had been in there before was Gerald, they just had to trust to his memory and judgement.

  Soon there came the unmistakable hum of the Collider itself, and everyone knew where they were. Gerald dipped his head down the offshoot and took stock of his bearings. There were a few people about, but he wanted to find an unoccupied room where they could all get down unobserved. He pulled himself back up and pointed along the vent a bit, then slid over and dipped his head down once more. This time he came up satisfied, giving them all a thumbs-up.

  He flicked the little catch on the grille and let it drop down gently, stuck his head through to check again and dropped through, then one by one, they all tumbled out. They were in a store room, and Cornwallis walked over to the door and opened it a crack to peer out into the Collider chamber.

  It was just as Gerald had described, a big room with what looked like a large mirror on the far wall with desks in front of it lined with toggle like things. There were a few people walking around, but more were sitting at the desks, fiddling with the toggles and looking at the screen. Cornwallis supposed they were trying to focus on something or other, but he couldn’t see either Dumchuck or Kintersbury amongst them.

  ‘We’ve missed them, they’re not here,’ he said dejectedly, as he shut the door and turned.

  Isabella came over and opened the door a crack. ‘I hear there are some private rooms where they link the feed in, so that you can view it undisturbed. Perhaps that’s where they are.’

  Cornwallis nodded. ‘Perhaps, but how do we know which one and where it is? It’s not like we can go in t
here and walk around searching for them.’

  ‘Why not? Look.’ She backed off and Cornwallis took her place. A group had entered the chamber, and it looked like a guided tour. One of them, presumably the tour leader, began to gesticulate, explaining everything. There seemed to be quite a few of them, so it was possible one or two more wouldn’t be noticed. He beckoned Gerald over and together they slipped out as the group passed the door and joined in at the back. Gerald at least had the advantage of being able to walk through a door, or at least sticking his head through without having to open it first.

  The guided tour leader, obviously knowledgeable but far too nerdy for Cornwallis’ liking, dragged the group around, spouting facts in a patronising manner, as if to say, look how clever I am. Each door they passed, Gerald quickly poked his head through, the idea being that even if someone on the other side saw him, they just wouldn’t believe what they were seeing.

  The guide then began to tell the group about how all the universes exist at the same time in the same place, albeit in a parallel plane, and that here everything became connected through a fault in the time/space configuration, and that by careful manipulation, someone who knew what they were doing could focus in on a particular moment within a chosen universe, basically, as he put it, to have a good nose at what was happening on the other side. Cornwallis looked up at the big screen and saw the tour group looking back, all of them, including him; except for Gerald, who stood right next to him. He turned his head to look and then turned back to the screen.