A Very Austen Valentine

by Robin Helm

  She tilted her head, looking at him from the corner of her eye. “I certainly ran you a race, but I was careful to make certain you would catch me.”

  “Minx,” he said. “The best thing I ever did was convince you to marry me. Shall we retire? I look forward to seeing what you have planned for me tonight.”

  “I think you will like it.”

  “I have no doubt,” he answered, standing to reach for her hand.

  He led her up the stairs to their rooms, where he had his bath and fell asleep as she massaged his shoulders.

  Chapter Five

  There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.

  Northanger Abbey, Jane Austen

  The next morning, after she sent her husband off with a kiss, Elizabeth prepared herself to face the day. Then, she took the riddle to her desk and read it aloud several times before focusing on the first clue.

  “You witness in my beauteous first

  The wonders of creation;”

  “The first syllable speaks of creation,” she mused. “‘In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.’ What was included in that? The sun, moon, and stars; the land masses; oceans, rivers, and streams; animals; human beings. There are so many possible answers!”

  She groaned, then decided to narrow down her choices by looking at the second syllable.

  “My next is blessed or accurst,

  As he fulfills his station:”

  “Whatever it is may be blessed or cursed, depending on how he satisfies the requirements of his position.”

  She chewed her lower lip. “Could it be a person? The riddle says ‘he.’ A man? A boy?”

  Elizabeth thought through her choices. “A son, perhaps? If son is the second syllable, what words could precede it? Parson? ‘Par’ does not fit the first clue.”

  Knitting her brows, she read the final clue.

  “My total dances round the year;

  The present soon will disappear.”

  “I gave him a far easier riddle than he gave me,” Elizabeth grumbled to herself, then chuckled. “I should not be so focused on winning, but I have to admit I hate to lose.”

  She put her fisted hands under her chin, elbows on her desk. “What word applies to the whole year but will disappear soon? Months? Days? Minutes? Seconds? Winter, spring, summer, autumn?”

  Elizabeth widened her eyes as the answer popped into her head.

  She took her journal from the drawer and began to write.

  ⸟ﻬ⸞ﻬ⸟

  Darcy lifted Elizabeth from her horse while Anderson retrieved the saddlebags.

  Within a few minutes, husband and wife were seated by the fire as they munched on apples, slices of roast pork, and biscuits.

  “Did you solve my riddle?” he asked, pausing between bites.

  “You posed quite a difficult one for me. The one I gave you is very simple in comparison.”

  “But you are so very knowledgeable, my dear. I knew you would dislike anything simple. ’Twould be an insult to your superior intelligence,” he replied, eyes shining.

  She quirked her lips. “Are you feeding me Banbury stories, husband? Pitching the gammon a bit? I thought you endeavoured to be truthful in all things. Did you not once say deceit of any sort is your abhorrence?”

  “You must not get in a miff, my lady. I would never disparage you, for I think you are too ripe and ready by half. I adore all of you,” he said with false solemnity, “but your mischievous side is truly enchanting.”

  “Such a dour, staid fellow. We must do something about that.” She clucked her tongue while she moved from her kneeling position to sit with her legs bent to the side.

  Then she patted her lap. “Put your head here.”

  Darcy raised a brow but did as she directed, fixing his gaze on her face, his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles.

  She removed her gloves to gently rub his temples. “I feel certain you have an answer for my riddle, husband. I shall have it now.”

  “Rainbow,” he said, closing his eyes with a sigh. “And the answer to mine?”

  “Puzzling out your charade gave me a headache this morning. How shall I punish you? By making you wait?” she retorted.

  He opened his eyes. “So, I must assume you have the solution, even if you refuse to satisfy my curiosity now. You are such a tempting armful, wife. Waiting while you apply your fingers to my sore head is no trial. Therefore, I fully accept whatever delicious punishment you choose. Thumbscrews? The rack?”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “Nothing so vicious. Now we are riveted, I must go easier on you. You shall spend Saturday with me, and we shall kick up a lark. That is flogging enough for such a serious fellow.”

  He feigned shock. “Such common language from a gently born lady! Where in heaven did you pick it up? Have you taken to visiting the Bear and Bull while I slave away? That shall teach me not to neglect you.”

  “Nothing so nefarious.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “I listened to the stable boys and groomsmen while they saddled Patience. After a few days, they became accustomed to talking in front of me and forgot to remove such slang expressions from their speech. They never used any foul words.”

  Darcy raised his brows. “I shall speak to Anderson. You should not be exposed to cant.”

  “Please. I beg you would not,” she replied, pursing her lips. “I never should have told you where I learned it. From now on, I shall watch what I say to you.”

  He chuckled. “Since you asked so nicely, I will honour your request. Now, your answer if you please.”

  “Shall I keep my answer to myself, or are you ready to be humbled?”

  “You are that confident then? Yield, wife. Humble away. I must have the solution to my riddle.”

  Her eyes twinkled. “So bossy. Is the answer – season?”

  “So, we both win. I must confess I am not surprised,” he answered. “I shall sleep later tomorrow, and you will come with me for the remainder of the day. I fear you will bear more suffering than I.”

  “Not at all,” she whispered. “I look forward to it.”

  His eyes drifted shut as she continued to move her fingers with slight pressure on his temples, up to his forehead, and into his hair. She knew by his breathing that he had fallen asleep.

  An hour later, Elizabeth’s legs were numb from staying in one position too long, and she shifted her weight a bit.

  Darcy’s eyes flew open as he sat up, squinting at the sun. “I am sleeping the day away.”

  Elizabeth sighed. “You napped barely an hour, and you obviously needed the rest. However, I shall soon be out of your hair. Literally. The time has come for me to return to the house.”

  He helped her gather everything up again, packing it in the saddlebags and handing them off to Mr. Anderson. As he made a step with his hands to aid her in mounting Patience, she said, “I cannot feel sorry you slept in my lap, Fitzwilliam. Your men continued to work without your supervision, and the world did not end.”

  Darcy raked his hands through his hair, giving her a flirtatious smile. “I am not sorry either. You are spoiling me, you know. A man could grow accustomed to such treatment.”

  That, dear husband, is my plan. “Then I shall leave so you can miss me,” she replied.

  “You may be assured that I will,” he murmured, taking her hand to kiss it before she rode away.

  ⸟ﻬ⸞ﻬ⸟

  Elizabeth eagerly waited at the door for her husband that evening, and she was most pleased to note a decided liveliness in his step that had been absent for a bit more than a month. He handed his hat to the footman and turned for Elizabeth’s assistance with his greatcoat. Within a few minutes, Darcy was seated at the table of their private dining parlour, hot soup in front of him.

  “What sort of soup is this?” he asked.

  She nodded. “Onion soup. Mrs. Reynolds had Cook simmer the onions in beef stock for hours.�
�

  “Interesting. What is this on top? Cheese?”

  “Yes. Toasted bread spread with aged, melted cheese. The dish is new to me, but she assured me it would be very good.”

  He took a bite and groaned a bit. “Delicious. Do you like it?”

  She sipped a spoonful of the broth, avoiding the onions. “Oh, my. ’Tis wonderful!”

  “What else did Cook prepare for us?”

  “Beef steaks with shallot gravy, cauliflower in white sauce, roasted potatoes, and broccoli with butter. I ordered blancmange with baked apples for our sweet. Does that suit?” she asked.

  “You are spoiling me, my love. I shall be fat as a sow. Will you still love me then?”

  “I shall always love you, Fitzwilliam. You have no need to fear, so eat your meal,” she said, her brown eyes serious. “Perhaps you shall tire of me, though.”

  He shook his head. “You cannot believe that. Everything I do is for you – for us. I think and plan for you alone. I have not forgotten how lonely I was before I met you in Hertfordshire.”

  “You were in the company of several friends, and you withstood my charms easily enough, as I remember.”

  “I was with my friend, Bingley, true, but there is a great difference between having a male friend and gaining a lifelong companion. According to my recollections, you found me lacking in nearly every area,” he said, “though I did not know it at the time. I was much too proud.”

  “Enough of this,” she replied. “We are far too serious tonight, and I have made arrangements for our time together. Finish your dinner, or you will fall asleep before I can put my plan into action.”

  His eyes sparkled. “You forget I took a long nap today.”

  “You are rested, then?” she asked. “Perhaps you should nap for an hour every day.”

  “I think you may be right, wife. ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.’ Would you not agree?”

  Elizabeth raised a brow. “Play? Games? Riddles?”

  “Whatever you wish, my love,” he replied softly. “Simply tell me what you want. It is yours.”

  She smirked a bit. “So many possibilities. I shall have to think of something.”

  “Then eat while you think, for you ate nothing at breakfast and very little at midday. I begin to fear you are ill,” he replied, pushing his empty soup bowl to the side. “If you lack ideas, I have a few.”

  After placing their soup bowls on the cart, she set their plates before them.

  “I knew you had a creative vein somewhere inside that stern exterior,” she said, smiling.

  “You doubted me? I daresay I know as many diversions as you.” He picked up his knife and fork, applying himself to his steak. “You have inspired me much of late.”

  She was amazed. “I am an inspiration to you? How so?”

  “‘Sometimes we put up walls, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.’ That is my favourite quote since I met you.” He looked at his plate.

  “Socrates? I suppose we both have our own types of walls to guard ourselves from being hurt.” She touched his hand. “Your example makes me try to be my best. You are selfless, hard-working, loyal to a fault, and fiercely protective of those you love.”

  He cut his steak and took a bite, chewing slowly, watching her until he swallowed.

  “I should like to know more about your childhood,” she said.

  “Yours was likely far more interesting.”

  “Will you answer questions, if I ask them?” she asked.

  He smiled. “Every time you take a bite of food, I shall.”

  Darcy took her fork and speared a piece of her beef steak, holding it to her mouth.

  Elizabeth rolled her eyes, parting her lips to accept the morsel. She chewed and swallowed.

  “Have you ever kissed another woman?”

  “Only my mother and sister during my childhood. You did say you wished to learn of my early years,” he answered.

  “Am I limited to your early years, then?”

  He grinned. “No, but that is another question. You must eat a bit more.”

  She twisted her lips but accepted the bit of roasted potato he offered.

  “Have you ever kissed a woman unrelated to you at any time during your life?”

  “Not for a very long time. Before I was twenty, I kissed a girl or two, but then I realized it meant nothing. Therefore, I decided to keep my kisses and give them all to my wife.”

  Elizabeth’s smile was wide. “I like your answer.”

  “I do, too.” He cleared his throat. “What of you? Did you share your kisses with anyone else, not in your family?”

  She shook her head. “Of course not. Surely you know me better than that. Why would you ask such a thing?”

  “To know if there was a man alive in the world whom I would need to watch more closely than the others.”

  “You are serious!” she exclaimed. “I have loved none but you, silly man. What have I done to make you jealous? Do you not trust me?”

  “I trust you implicitly, my love. ’Tis the male population I am wary of.”

  She smiled softly. “You will always be there to shield me, so I have no need to fear anyone’s unwelcome advances.”

  Darcy leaned to kiss her cheek. “Did you say we have blancmange and baked apples?”

  She retrieved his sweet from the cart, removing his plate before placing the confection before him.

  “Where is yours?” he asked.

  “I thought we would share.”

  “Oh, no. You must eat all of yours.”

  She drew her brows together. “Why?”

  “I had a long nap today, and I am most definitely not tired,” he replied.

  Elizabeth very deliberately set her baked apple before her, took a bite, and chewed it delicately.

  Before a quarter hour had passed, he took her hand and led her from the room, his step a bit lighter than it had been the day before.

  Chapter Six

  There could have been no two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison.

  Persuasion, Jane Austen

  Elizabeth was sleeping on her side, hands curled beneath her cheek, facing her husband, when she felt the mattress shift. She opened her eyes to find Darcy’s gaze focused on her.

  “Good morning,” she said, running her fingers through her hair. “I must look terrible.”

  He traced her lips with his thumb as he stroked her face. “Did you have a bad dream? You were groaning and talking in your sleep. I could not catch what you were saying.”

  She frowned, trying to recall the blurry images. “I think I dreamed I was ill.”

  Elizabeth suddenly sat up and threw her legs over her side of the bed, running for her dressing room where she bent over the chamber pot. To her great relief, though she gagged, she did not lose the contents of her stomach.

  Darcy was fast on her heels, holding her hair back. “You must rest.”

  “No,” she said, shaking her head. “I shall not waste our day together.”

  Elizabeth poured a glass of water from her pitcher, drinking a bit before she rinsed her mouth, and spat.

  “But you are unwell,” he replied, helping her walk to the bed.

  She sat on the mattress, her legs hanging over the side. “You should not see me thus.”

  “In sickness and in health,” he replied. “You promised not to hide from me.”

  “I am hiding nothing, for I feel much better now. It must have been something I ate yesterday. Did the pork I took you at midday taste a bit odd to you?”

  He shook his head. “I greatly enjoyed it. Did you think it was spoiled? I am not queasy in the least.”

  “I took only a bite or two,” she replied, sighing. “This is most unusual, for I am nearly always in good health. In any case, I feel very well now. Shall we call for Jenny and Sims to help us dress? I would hate to waste even a minute of our day.”

  The gentleman pressed his lips together fo
r a moment. “Very well, but I expect you to tell me if you do not feel well. We can spend our time together here where you will be more comfortable.”

  Elizabeth smiled. “Such a worrier! You shall have wrinkles by the time you are thirty – well ahead of me, I might add. I have no desire to be married to an old-looking man while I am so young.”

  “I have a feeling I may hear that for years to come, though you are a grown woman of twenty-two. Just seven years younger than I,” he said.

  “While I was quite happy to marry a mature, older man, I am not eager to have your handsome face marred by frowns before your time.”

  Darcy pulled his wife to her feet and into his arms, embracing her. “Handsome?”

  “Oh, yes. By far the handsomest man of my acquaintance.” She kissed his cheek.

  “Mature?” he asked, nuzzling her neck.

  “Only in the best ways.”

  “Wise?” he whispered.

  She quirked a brow. “I never said you were wise. Stop fishing for compliments. Your head shall swell so large we will be unable to leave the room.”

  He pressed his lips to the top of her head. “I cannot hate that idea, for I would gladly spend the day in here with you.”

  “And yet,” she said, pulling away from him, “we must dress and eat, for I have plans for our morning. However, you are free to do whatever you choose for our afternoon.”

  “I am at your command – for the morning, at least.”

  After stepping back and bowing to her, he crossed the room to ring for his valet and her maid.

  ⸟ﻬ⸞ﻬ⸟

  She nibbled on her toast, taking small bites to make certain her stomach would accept the food.

  “Elizabeth, you must eat more than that. You are growing thinner each day,” he admonished. “Are you still unwell?”

  After feeling no ill effects from the toast, she ate some scrambled eggs.

  “I am well, but I have very little appetite,” she replied. “However, I shall try, to please you.”

  She finished her eggs, toast, and jam. “Surely that is enough to satisfy you.”

  He looked at her plate. “You have eaten no meat. I thought you liked bacon.”