by Chris McHart
“Let’s say we haven’t stopped, but…”
Josh raised his hand. “I knew that, too. I actually meant that you wanted to have another baby so quickly after the two of them.”
“Yes, I do. Even though the two are really exhausting, we wanted another one. And since wizards never father just one, we decided to go ahead and try for another two. I mean, why not? We both want it, our place is big enough, and we can afford it. What are we waiting for?”
Josh shook his head. “I can’t believe it. I’m dead on my feet if I watch them for a few hours, and you actually want two more.”
“Someday you’ll understand, I guess. Or not. But we’re really looking forward to having more children.”
“I really don’t know if I want kids. I can’t imagine it right now, and it’s honestly pretty unlikely. I’m not going to hook up with a vampire prince or a wizard, so I don’t think I’m going to get into that position. But I’m really happy for you.” Josh got up and hugged first Ash then D. “I wish you all the best and I’m happy I’m going to be an uncle again. Even if I don’t quite understand the decision.”
“Thank you. And it’s enough if we do,” D said with a twinkle in his eyes, stepping back from the hug and heading toward the sandpit to stop his two children from hitting each other with their shovels.
Josh sat down again and shook his head. “I can’t imagine having two, let alone four. That… No, I can’t imagine.”
“I totally get it. When D first said he wanted to try again, I was a little shocked too. But then… The idea of having twins with him again… It was the most beautiful thought. And we also talked about hiring a nanny if it gets too much.”
“Does anyone else know yet?”
“No, no one yet. You’re the first one we’ve told.”
Josh scooted closer to the Ash and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “That honors me. I’m really happy for you.”
They remained silent for a moment until Ash spoke again. “I have no idea what life will be like with four small children. But I’m afraid we’re gonna find out. And I have to admit that I love that D is carrying my children again. Even if I’m more afraid of him giving birth than he is.”
Josh laughed and hugged Ash closer. “You did great the first time. You’ll do great the second time. I’m just not sure if you two are gonna have a third…”
Ash laughed and shook his head. “No, I think two sets of twins are more than enough. It’s kind of funny to know in advance that there will always be two, but on the other hand we knew what to expect this time. The first time, it really was a surprise.”
Josh nodded. He remembered how shocked Ash had been when he learned that D was pregnant. None of them had suspected Ash would develop magical powers, and even less would anyone have thought that D could become pregnant.
Ash put his head on Josh’s shoulder and sighed deeply. “Who’d have thought we’d end up like this? I never imagined I’d be so happy someday.”
“Yeah.” Josh rested his head against Ash’s, and together they watched D with the twins for a moment.
“I dreamed about it, but I never thought it’d actually happen. I was hoping it, especially for you, but… It was hard to imagine things would get better someday. But now look at us. What more could we want?”
Ash’s former mate had been a monster who’d beaten and abused Ash. It’d taken a long time for him to heal and allow D to simply be his friend. D had the patience of a saint, and he’d managed to lure Ash out of the shell he’d hidden in.
Only through D’s love had Ash’s magical powers come to light, and from that moment, his healing sped up. By now, he was happy and radiant whenever his eyes landed on his partner.
“No, I didn’t think that back then. No way. But I have to say, it couldn’t have turned out much better, could it?”
“Well, if you’d be in a relationship, too, it’d be perfect.”
Ash lifted his head and Josh sat upright again.
“Why do I need a man?” They continued to watch D, who was now helping the kids build a sandcastle. He was clearly the one who had more patience for this kind of thing, although Ash also played a lot with them.
“I don’t need a man, Ash. I’m… I’m having enough fun and that’s all I want. I don’t want a relationship. I don’t want anything solid. The way it is, it’s good.”
“Yeah, but what if Anthony ever finds someone to spend his life with? Are you going to find somebody new?”
Josh nodded. “I think so, yes.” He would. Not that he liked the idea. The thing with Anthony had been going on for a while now, but… it wasn’t serious.
Anthony had disappeared again and again for months because he needed to work. Right now, he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, but at some point the thing with Anthony would cool down. They both would go separate ways, then – maybe – he’d find someone new. If it wasn’t supposed to be, that was all right, too.
“I think you’re kidding yourself, but you’re gonna find out for yourself someday.”
“And I think Anthony and I can handle this on our own, even though I know you mean well. We both don’t want anything more serious and, though I hope he doesn’t have any other guys besides me, I don’t want to make any commitments. We meet, we have fun, and then we go our separate ways. Sometimes we just meet for a pizza and can be normal friends. It’s not a relationship, and it never will be.” Josh sounded harder than he’d intended, but somehow he didn’t like the idea of Anthony having another guy. He didn’t. Josh didn’t believe that, but…
He didn’t want to analyze these feelings right now. It was nothing serious. If Anthony wanted to have other men, he could do it, just like Josh. Right now this arrangement just worked for both of them.
Some people needed the happily ever after for the rest of their lives, and some were happy if things just worked out well for a while. Ash and D were definitely in the first category, while he and Anthony were in the second. And that was fine.
He nudged Ash. “Speaking of commitment, any plans so far?”
Ash shook his head. “I still haven’t asked. I… I don’t know what’s holding me back. I mean, what more can I want? It’s not like he’s asking for it, but it seems unfair to me. Still, I just can’t ask him.”
“But you were so sure.”
“I was. I am, but… I don’t know. But I want to. D deserves it, and I think I kind of deserve it myself. The first time was a nightmare, but this time it’d be with the perfect man. That can’t go wrong, can it?”
Josh shook his head. On one hand, he understood why Ash hesitated to mate again, but on the other hand, he didn’t. They were talking about D, who fulfilled every wish Ash might have, and who would do everything for his partner. Ash should also be able to see there was a difference like day and night to the relationship with his previous mate.
As far as you could even talk about a relationship, since Ash had been little more than Elder Adali’s slave. That was the only reason he didn’t push Ash any further. Someday he’d be willing to ask D to mate him, then they’d take that step together.
Chapter 4
Anthony
* * *
“Hi.” D opened the door to let his brother in. They met, as they did often, for an after-work beer.
Anthony entered the apartment and pulled his brother into a short hug.
“You’re looking good. Kinda… more relaxed?”
D laughed. “Not necessarily, but…” He hesitated, and Anthony frowned.
Something was wrong. “Anything bad? Anything we need to take care of right now?”
“No, not at all. More like good news. You can stop planning any murders. Besides, I can take care of myself.”
“I know that, but still.”
“Come in, and we’ll talk.” D closed the door behind them, but Anthony couldn’t relax. Something was off.
Ash was in the bedroom with the kids, and Anthony heard him trying to get them to put on their pajamas. It sou
nded like he couldn’t really get them to do it.
Anthony grinned and knocked on the open door. “Hey, you two. Time for bed?”
“Uncle Tony,” they both squealed, and Anthony barely managed to get on his knee to catch them. He caught them, ending up with a kid in each arm. They both pressed a kiss on his bearded cheek and wound their thin arms around his neck.
He closed his eyes for a moment to enjoy the feeling of his niece and nephew in his arms. He loved them more than anything. He didn’t have any other close relatives, and he wouldn’t have children of his own, so he loved spending time with the little ones.
Babysitting was less his favorite, though, especially because he was never sure how exactly to deal with them. Josh did that a lot better. But playing with them while their fathers were around? He could do that. And if he was glad to give them back to their dads? He didn’t tell D and Ash.
The two stormed him with questions, and he did his best to decipher and answer their babbling. No, he hadn’t brought any sweets, and no, they could not stay awake any longer just because he was there. But he carried them around the room, and when they begged for it, he let them fly in his arms for a while. He threw them into the air and caught them again, accompanied by squeaking and laughter. That was what made it fun. To play with them, to see the joy on their faces. All the other duties, like putting them to bed and tidying up behind them… he could do without.
It was better if he stayed an uncle. He probably wouldn’t be a good father anyway, and he didn’t plan on finding out.
Finally, Ash forced him to put the children to bed because it was high time for them to go to sleep.
“Come on, let’s have a beer in the meantime,” D said. “Ash can handle it.”
Ash pressed a kiss on his partner’s lips and nodded. “Yeah, go on, you two. I’ll catch up with you.”
Anthony followed D from the kids’ room into the cozy living room. “Want a drink?”
“Stupid question. If you have a beer, I’ll have a beer. If you don’t have one, something else is fine.”
“One beer coming up.”
Like D wouldn’t have a beer at home, and Anthony would drink something else. But still he asked the same question every time.
D disappeared into the kitchen and a moment later, he placed the cold drink in front of him. Anthony opened it and then waited for his brother.
D sat down with him, but he didn’t have a beer for himself. Instead, he had water. Anthony looked at the bottle then back at his brother.
Something wasn’t right at all. He raised an eyebrow and asked, “Would you like to tell me what’s going on?”
D leaned back on the couch, the water bottle in his hand. He played with the label, pulling it off then pushing it back onto the glass. “What makes you think something’s wrong?”
“Funny, aren’t we? You’re drinking water. You never do that when we hang out.”
D closed his eyes for a moment until he heard Ash’s footsteps. He opened them again and, as always, a smile was on his face when he saw his partner. The two were still so much in love, it almost hurt to watch them.
Ash sat next to D, so close to him that their legs touched. These two needed each other like the air to breathe. They constantly sought contact, like they always needed to know the other one was still there.
Anthony couldn’t even imagine acting that way with a partner. Who wanted to stick together all the time? Who always wanted to hold hands and just spend time together?
He certainly wouldn’t. But his brother had always been different. He loved being with Ash all the time, touching him whenever possible.
Sometimes, it was hard to believe they were brothers, but they looked so much alike, they couldn’t deny it. Their father’s genes had been quite dominant, so they both shared the same, facial features and physique, except that D had remained significantly smaller. He’d apparently inherited that from his mother, while Anthony had gotten the size of their father.
The two full beards probably didn’t help to make them look different either, but it certainly didn’t bother him. D didn’t seem to care, either.
Ash took D’s hand and traced his fingers over it. “Do you want to or should I?”
“No, I got it.” D looked from Ash to Anthony. “You’re going to be an uncle again.”
The beer bottle slipped from his hand and he jumped up as the cold beer seeped through his pants. Damn, that was icy!
D laughed as Ash jumped up, grabbing a towel. Anthony caught the beer bottle and turned it, then he took the towel Ash was holding out for him.
He dabbed his jeans dry, although there was now a big wet spot on his crotch. Great. He looked like he needed diapers.
D stared at him, laughter in his eyes. Yeah, he might’ve overreacted a little. But since the two already had twins, he didn’t even think they’d want more kids.
“Was that…” Should he really be asking that? That sounded rude.
“Was that?”
Anthony looked at Ash, who was coming back from the kitchen. He carried a new beer in his hand.
“Was that intentional?”
“Yes, it was.” The loving look D gave his partner said it all. They’d actually wanted them.
That couldn’t be true. Before D had met Ash, Anthony wouldn’t have believed D wanted children. Then to imagine – and to see – how his brother carried the children was quite… shocking.
Back then, though, it’d been a surprise, since neither of them knew D could become pregnant – or that Ash could father children.
This time, it wasn’t an accident. This time, the two of them wanted it.
“Then I think congratulations are in order?” Anthony wriggled around as the wet pants stuck uncomfortably to his skin.
“Thank you.” D looked demonstratively at the wet spot and asked, “Do you want some sweatpants from me?”
Anthony nodded. “Yes, if you have some, I’d love them. It’s really not that pleasant.” As a matter of fact, it was pretty disgusting.
“I’ll get you some.” D got up and left the living room.
Ash stared at him. “Did that really upset you so much?”
“I just didn’t expect it.” Anthony shrugged. “I totally believed you wouldn’t want any more kids after Ria and Ian. I never thought you’d try again.” He hesitated. “I’m sorry if it sounded like I don’t approve or anything. You know how happy I am for you.”
“Yes, I do. I didn’t understand it that way either, so it’s all good.”
D came back into the living room and threw a pair of sweatpants at Anthony. Anthony caught them in the air and held them in front of him. “This is going to be interesting.”
D laughed. “Sorry, but it’s your own fault you need them. You can keep running around in wet jeans if you really want to look like you –“
“I’ll put them on.” Anthony got up and took the sweatpants with him to the bathroom.
D was still laughing, while Ash was quietly talking to him. Then it went quiet. There wasn’t any doubt in Anthony’s mind what exactly they were doing. As much as they were in love, it wasn’t hard to guess.
So he quietly closed the bathroom door behind him and changed slowly. He wanted to give them time until they’d calmed down a little, then he’d leave.
Ash was probably going to drag D into the bedroom once Anthony was gone. He didn’t want to get in the way.
He opened the bathroom door loudly and spoke before entering the living room. “When are they due?”
He heard something, and when he turned around the living room corner, both Ash and D looked like they’d been interrupted in the middle of sex, even though they were both still fully clothed. Their lips were swollen, and their hair stood in all directions. Ash had a pillow lying on his lap while D wriggled on the sofa like he was trying to find a comfortable position.
“Okay, the pants are definitely too short, but we don’t have anything else. At least they’re wide enough.” D bit his lip to
hold back his laughter.
Yeah, he probably looked stupid in those sweatpants, but what else could he do? It was either sitting around in wet jeans or suffering through wearing those. Well, he’d take the short ones.
“Better than the alternative, so shut up.”
D’s eyes sparkled like he wanted to make more comments, but Ash interrupted him. “It’s gonna take a while. We’re only in our second month, but we wanted to let you know. We told Josh yesterday afternoon.”
“Although Josh was much happier than you.” D just couldn’t help himself.
“I’ll be hearing about this forever, won’t I?”
“What do you think?” This time it was Ash who spoke, but there was also humor in his voice. Yeah, yeah. That really hadn’t been the right reaction. But who’d expect anything like that?
“Are you still seeing each other?” Ash asked.
“Aren’t you two already gossiping about stuff like that?” Anthony asked with a frown.
“No, not really. He doesn’t want to hear what D and I are doing, and I’m not asking him what he’s doing. He mentioned you’d met a few times, but that’s it. I still think you should’ve moved in together, but you’re stubborn.”
It was better that way. They both needed their own apartments.
Anthony raised an eyebrow. “Then why are you asking me if we’re still seeing each other when you’re not even talking to your best friend about it?”
“Because I thought it was strange he didn’t mention anything anymore. Even though he never gossiped or anything, it came up sometimes during conversation. But lately, I haven’t heard a thing.”
“We meet every now and then, but somehow… I don’t know. It was nice, it still is nice, but … I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like we both want different things. Josh knows I don’t want a relationship, and maybe he wants one and so he withdraws. That’s just my guess.”
And besides, he couldn’t offer him anything else. He’d never do that to Josh.
