Falling For Declan (Falling Book 8)

by Tracy Lorraine

  “Your voice is incredible. You shouldn’t keep it hidden away.” His hands come to my waist and he spins me so we’re face to face. “I want to see you up on that stage.” His eyes bore into mine as he waits for my reply, but the expression on his face and the buzz between us renders me speechless. The song playing in the background comes to an end and Never Be The Same by Camila Cabello begins. I swear my heart pounds in time with the bass as we stand motionless, staring at each other as she starts to sing.

  When his head starts to move, I panic. My chest heaves with anticipation but at the last second, he leans to the side. I feel his nose run up the side of my neck and breathe me in, causing my entire body to shiver. “You will sing for me on that stage,” he demands, his voice rumbling against my hot skin. Liquid pools between my legs.

  Suddenly the image of Dec taking Georgia back to his office earlier today slams into my head, and my hands come up to his chest as I push with everything I have.

  “Get off me.” My voice comes out much weaker than I was hoping.

  He steps away and I watch as realisation of what he was doing hits him. Regret fills his features for a brief moment before his anger overtakes. I’ve no idea if it’s directed at me for pushing him away or for his actions in the first place. I don’t hang around long enough to find out. The second he barks at me to leave, I run out of there as fast as my feet will carry me.

  I take the short walk home slowly. I’m completely engrossed in my thoughts and when I look up, I realise I’ve missed the turning to Lilly’s and I end up retracing my steps.

  The second I’m in the house, Bailey rushes to greet me like he hasn’t seen me for weeks. In reality, it was only a few short hours ago that Lilly and Lucas walked him home after their visit to the shack.

  “Hey, pup. You ready for bed?” He wags his tail at me as his head tilts to the side like he’s trying to understand what I’m saying.

  Poking my head into the living room I find Lilly and Lucas curled up together on the sofa, looking like the perfect couple.

  “How was the rest of the evening?” Lilly asks when she looks my way.

  “Just as busy. I think it’s going to be really successful.” My emotions start to bubble up as I think back to how I just left things.

  “That’s brilliant. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Just exhausted. I’m going to shower and go straight to bed.”

  “Do you need anything?”

  “No, I’m good. Enjoy your evening.”

  I’ve no idea what brings on my sudden feeling of loneliness but as I climb the stairs I’m fighting to keep my tears in as I feel more alone than ever.

  Stripping off my clothes the second I shut the door behind me I intend to walk straight into the bathroom and turn the shower on but my notepad catches my eye.

  For the first time in what feels like forever I pick it up, grab a pen, and perch myself on the corner of the bed and write. Everything I’m feeling, the confusion, the desire, the anger, it all flows out through the ink and onto the paper as lyrics I’ve been desperate to write but unable to find appear before me. They make no real sense; they’re just my scrambled thoughts, but I know when I’m in the right mood I’ll be able to turn them into something.

  Once I feel like I’ve emptied myself, I turn back towards where I was heading. I need to wash today off me. I’ve not only worked harder than I have in a long time, but I need to wash him off. I can’t help but feel dirty, knowing what could have happened between us after he’d already been with her. I’ve never really experienced jealousy before, but suddenly it consumes me. She stopped me doing what my body was craving because what I wanted belongs to her.

  Writing everything down only helped so much because my mixed up thoughts mean that although my body is bone tired, I toss and turn in bed for hours. Every time I check the alarm clock, I’m aware that I have another hour fewer before I have to go back to work and see him again.

  I must eventually drift off because I wake to my alarm blaring out from under my pillow. Groaning, I stretch my sore body out under the duvet as I fight to keep my eyes open. I feel like I’ve only been asleep for minutes.

  In my search for coffee, I find Lilly in the kitchen feeding the twins.

  “Morning,” I grunt as I attempt to get her coffee machine working. She takes pity on my sad state and helps me out after a few seconds.

  “Didn’t you sleep well?” she asks with an amused smile.

  “Not really, I tossed and turned for hours.”

  “Do you remember talking to me down here at about three o’clock?”

  I look at her blankly. “No.”

  “I didn’t think you were awake but you were talking like you were. I’d forgotten about your night time antics.” While she laughs, I groan.

  “What did I do?”

  “Nothing really. I heard banging and found you in the fridge. You had a mug on the side with coffee granules in. I guess you decided you couldn’t use that thing in your sleep.” I’m glad she’s amused about all this. “So what’s up? You only do this when you’re stressed.”

  I’m pretty sure there’s only one thing that’s caused it, but I’m not getting into whatever the fuck is going on with Dec. “Just work, I guess. Yesterday was so busy.”

  “You said it went really well though, so you can’t be worrying about it.”

  “I guess I’m just apprehensive about being the manager and making the right decisions.”

  “Dec won’t let you make the wrong ones.” Her comment is meant to be flippant but it hits a little too close to home. Won’t he? Thoughts of how I almost made a very bad decision last night won’t leave me as I get ready to start what’s inevitably going to be another hectic day.

  I’m gobsmacked when I let myself into the shack later that morning to find all the cleaning I ran out on last night done.

  “Hello?” I shout cautiously. I’ve definitely not had enough sleep to deal with a pissed off Dec this morning.

  I let out a sigh of relief when there’s no response. Seeing as I’ve got less to do than I thought, I make myself another coffee and spend some time soaking up the morning sun on the decking while Bailey plays on the beach.

  * * *

  Dec doesn’t show his face all morning, but I can’t help but smile when I see two other familiar faces walking towards the bar as they look around at the place. Pride for what their son has achieved oozes from both of them.

  “Nicole, angel, it’s so good to see you,” Susan says as she walks around to the gap in the bar so she can pull me into a bone-crushing hug. The second I’m wrapped in her arms, the tears come. Susan has always been like a second mum to me. Even after I left, I knew she would always do anything she could to help me, so being in her embrace again pushes me over the edge I’ve been clinging to.

  “Hey now, enough of that.” Her palms come up to my face as we part and she wipes the tears from my cheeks. She tugs me back to her again, allowing me to pull myself back together.

  When I step away again, I’m feeling a little more stable, like I’ll be able to face my customers.

  “Lilly didn’t mention you were coming,” I say as I make them both a coffee and cut them each a very generous piece of cake.

  “It’s a surprise. Lucas booked us a room and has been sworn to secrecy. They’re meeting us here in a few minutes. I can’t wait to see my grandbabies.” The love in her eyes is another reminder of what I’m not going to experience myself. Swallowing down my emotions once again, I focus on the job at hand. “Is Declan not here?”

  “I’ve not seen him yet today, no.”

  “How’s it going? I couldn’t believe it when Lilly said she’d suggested you two work together. I’m over the moon though with you kids all back together again. It’s where you belong.”

  “It’s…uh…interesting.”

  Right on cue, Dec walks through the front door, all sexy surfer and drawing every female’s attention his way.

  The second he
looks up, he finds me. Our eyes connect and the tension between us crackles as he slowly starts walking my way.

  I’m completely lost to everything but him until some movement in my peripheral vision catches my eye. Looking down, I see Susan looking back and forth between the two of us with an amused smile on her face.

  “Yeah…I see what you mean by interesting.” She looks way too bloody happy about it.

  “Nic—” Declan starts when he gets to me, but Susan calling his name distracts him and he turns to look her way.

  I breathe a sigh of relief as he gives his mum a hug that I’m able to put off our inevitable awkwardness after last night a little longer.

  Once I know he’s fully distracted, I make my escape, leaving Emily to serve in my place.

  Shutting the office door behind me, I rest back against it and look up to the ceiling as I let out a long breath.

  What the hell was that back there? That connection the second he walked into the room. I thought I would be anxious seeing him, but all I felt was excitement. I knew he was mad, the hard set of his face showed that, but I didn’t cower away, worried about what might come out of his mouth. I was actually looking forward to giving him as good as he gave me for a change. Suddenly his years of teasing and torture have turned into some kind of foreplay I can’t wait to continue. It’s fucked up, I know.

  When I return, I find the bar clear, and looking around I spot Lilly and Lucas sitting at a table with Susan, Pete and Declan. I allow the sound of their happiness and laughter to filter through me, and for a few seconds I smile with them, that is until I realise I’ll never have what they’ve got. I was always jealous of their big family, but it’s worse now than ever. I have no one. Everyone I love has died. It’s like some kind of curse. My dad was killed in a motorcycle accident while Mum was pregnant with me, my grandparents both passed away not all that long after we moved up north to support them, and then Mum last year.

  I sigh as I continue watching them. As soon as Lilly notices me she smiles and waves me over, but I refuse and get back to work. Declan once again looks my way. With my knees threatening to buckle beneath me, I tear my eyes away and focus on work. Well, as best I can when I can feel his stare on me.

  Declan

  Mangoes. That’s what she smelt like. I can’t get the fucking smell out of my nose. Every time I wonder if she would taste just as sweet, I feel myself harden in my shorts. I didn’t mean to go out and pounce on her, but hearing her voice filter through to the office as she sang pulled me out. Once I saw her perfectly round arse wiggling in time to what she was singing, I lost control of my actions in my need for her.

  I should be saying that I’m glad she stopped it going any farther, but I’d be lying. I’ve been pissed off and equally as turned on since she pulled the brakes before I had the chance to put my lips on hers.

  I was tempted to avoid the shack today. I’ve no idea if her head’s as fucked as mine is after that last night, but I don’t really want to find out for fear it’ll only fuel my desire.

  What I don’t expect to find when I do grow a pair is my parents waiting for me with a happy looking Nicole serving them. My heart pounds as we stare at each other. Regret slams into me that I wasn’t a little more forward the night before. She wanted it, of that I’m positive, and I’m sure just a little more from me and she would have been like putty in my hands.

  My cock twitches the second she sees me about to walk towards her. Her eyes widen in surprise but I don’t miss the slight darkening of her stunning green irises. She spent all night thinking about me as well.

  I’ve no idea what I want to say to her this morning. I tried coming up with an excuse for what happened, but I don’t have anything other than the truth about how badly I needed my hands on her. But it looks like it’s going to have to wait as I watch her run to the safety of the office.

  I think it’s safe to say that I’ve got under her skin.

  I end up spending the day with my family. It’s been quite a few weeks since I’ve spoken more than a few words with my parents as I prepared for the opening of the shack, and I’m really glad they decided to come down and surprise me and Lilly. Having said that, I spend the whole day wondering if Nicole’s thinking about me, if she’s waiting for me to return at any moment with excitement or dread, and more importantly, if she’s regretting stopping me last night. That look this morning sure pointed towards it.

  Mum’s been assessing me with a familiar look in her eye all morning. She’s been under some weird illusion for years that there’s something between Nicole and me. I think her and Nicole’s mum used to get together and secretly plan our wedding even when we were kids. It’s one of the things that pissed me off in our early years—one of many when it came to Nicole. It’s strange now, because although I know how much she irritated me, I’m struggling to remember what all those really annoying things were.

  “The shack looks incredible, angel. I’m so proud of you,” Mum says when we eventually get a few minutes together.

  “Thank you. It wasn’t all me, though. I had plenty of help.”

  “Take the credit, Dec. That place wouldn’t be what it is now if it weren’t for you. It would probably be just another seaside café with plastic flowers and paper doilies.” Her words drag up images of what the place looked like before we put it all in a skip. “So how is it with Nicole here? Lilly says she’s doing a great job managing the place.”

  “It’s fine, and she’s good at her job.”

  Her eyebrow rises in question. “That’s all you’ve got to say about it?”

  “Uh…yeah.”

  “I see more than you think I do, baby. I’ve seen it for years,” she warns. “Just promise me something?”

  “What is it?” I ask with a groan.

  “Just keep an open mind with her.”

  “With Nicole?”

  “Yes. Oh and don’t be a total arse to her. She’s had—”

  “A rough time. Yes I know. I’ve had this lecture from Lilly more than once. I’m aware of what Nicole’s been through, but she’s just my manager. As long as whatever she’s going through doesn’t affect her work, it’s all good.”

  “Declan,” she half chastises, half laughs. I’m sure she knows I’m trying to deflect her original point. As Dad heads back towards where we’re sat watching the twins play in Lilly’s garden, she raises her eyebrows one more time.

  “Fine, yes, whatever.”

  “Everything okay?” Dad asks when he sees us staring at each other.

  “Yep, just giving our son here some advice.”

  “Ah, I see. Son, if you need any advice when it comes to women, ask the master,” Dad says, pointing towards himself and making my mum snort out a laugh.

  “Oh please,” she mutters amusedly.

  “I don’t need advice about women.”

  “No, from what I hear you’ve got them…nailed.” Dad smiles proudly as Mum rolls her eyes. “I should have said lov—”

  “Enough,” I snap, already annoyed by their meddling.

  Thankfully, Lilly and Lucas appear, carrying trays of food for everyone, and it puts pay to the earlier conversation, although Mum still spends the rest of our day together giving me a knowing side eye. She even goes to the extent of suggesting I see if Nicole is okay as the evening draws in.

  My refusal thankfully puts an end to any more conversations about Nicole; instead, we enjoy our evening and barbeque in Lilly’s garden.

  I have every confidence that Nicole and the others will be fine, even if it does get busy. Even still, I put my phone on loud just in case of emergencies. I spend all night hoping it’ll ring so I have to go, but it doesn’t. As much as it pains me to admit, Nicole is good at her job. Sadly, Lilly was right about me employing her, something I’m sure she’ll never let me forget.

  * * *

  Unfortunately when my phone does ring first thing the next morning, it’s with two of my surf instructors telling me they’re too sick to work—something abou
t them going out last night and having dodgy seafood. I couldn’t care less about the details so I cut both conversations short as my annoyance gets the better of me. I was intending on spending time in both the shop and shack as I got some accounting sorted, but now it looks like I’ll be on the beach all day filling in for my sick instructors.

  I hate that I’m pissed off with having to do the thing I love the most. It’s something that’s never happened before. Usually any excuse to grab my board and hit some waves has me running for the beach as soon as possible, but since Nicole’s arrived, I seem to be spending more and more of my time in that damn office instead of the place I love the most.

  When BJ and I open up the shop a while later to start getting all the kit out, Nicole is nowhere to be seen. I shouldn’t be surprised because the shack doesn’t open for hours yet, but she’s been so keen the past few days, I was hoping she might already be here.

  I do spot her a while later. She’s too far away to see me watching her as she runs across the wet sand with Bailey a few feet ahead. The morning sun lights her up as she moves elegantly across the beach in what seem to be the tiniest top and shorts.

  “I think you’ve got a problem, dude,” BJ mutters behind me.

  I drag my eyes away from Nicole’s curvy body and focus on him behind me. “What?” I ask when I see everything seems to be in order.

  “Oh, not this. Her,” he says, nodding towards where she is. “She’s got you all kinds of fucked up. You tapped her yet?”

  “She hasn’t got me anything, Benjamin.” I use his full name, hoping he’ll back the fuck off. “And don’t talk about her like that.” The amusement filling his eyes at my warning makes me regret the words instantly.

  “You know she’s got a date tomorrow night, right?”

  My stomach drops. “Fuck off.” He’s got to be baiting me. Who would she have met? She’s spent almost every waking hour at the shack, with me.

  “Chris, the guy who comes down here at the weekends. He works for Lucas.” The surfing community is pretty small around here, so if you own a board there’s a fairly high chance I know you, and vice versa.