“I’m right behind you.”
“Right where I like you,” I teased.
28
Aiden
I heard the shower turn on in the bathroom.
Elizabeth was waiting for me, but my mind was racing a mile a minute.
The sex had been different this time. I could feel the investment between both of us. This thing was becoming something a hell of a lot bigger than just a prearranged deal.
This felt like a real relationship now.
I ran my hand down my face and sighed.
This wasn’t what I wanted. This wasn’t part of the plan.
I had too much on my plate to fall in love with a girl—and a girl I worked with at that. I couldn’t afford the distractions and neither could the patients who relied on me to have my head in the game at all times. With Elizabeth around every corner and thoughts of our time in the bedroom in my head, how could I stay focused at work? How could I guarantee that I was being the best doctor I could when my heart was being pulled in two directions?
“Fuck.”
I never should have let this go so far.
I should have corrected it in the beginning. As soon as I realized this was more than just an attraction, I could have course corrected. I could have checked in with Elizabeth to make sure we were both on the same page, that this was just sex.
And that was all it could be.
Our careers depended on it.
And yet.
I was falling for the girl singing in my shower at this very moment.
I had to pull back. It was as simple as that. We needed to slow things down, take a breather, and focus on our work and our professional relationship for a while. Maybe then we’d restore some balance and this could go back to being an arrangement where we both got what we needed and nothing more.
Yes. That had to happen.
I stayed in bed and waited another five minutes before I stood up. Elizabeth wasn’t singing in the shower anymore. Another thirty seconds passed, and the water shut off.
I moved into the bathroom. She was drying herself off and wrapping her hair in a second towel. “What took you so long?”
“Sorry. I got a call.”
She nodded. “Work?”
“Yeah,” I said, starting the shower again. “Feel free to make yourself coffee and help yourself to anything in the fridge. I’ll meet you out there shortly.”
“Oh.” She straightened up and pulled the towel from her hair. Her long wet brown locks tumbled down around her shoulders. “I thought we were going to—”
“The call sort of put a damper on things. Sorry.”
She pinched her bottom lip between her teeth. “I understand.”
I didn’t say anything. I let her leave the bathroom, and I showered in silence, knowing I was being an asshole but justifying it by assuring myself this is what had to happen for both our sakes. She could thank me later.
I met Elizabeth in the kitchen once I was dressed and ready to head into the hospital. She’d already had a piece of toast and made herself a cup of coffee, which she sipped as she watched me over the rim as I went to the pot and poured myself a mug.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I glanced at her. “About what?”
“The call?”
Right. The call. I shook my head. “Not really.”
“Okay. Well, if you change your mind, I’m always here.”
“I know.”
She licked her lips and stared down at her coffee in her hands as I made myself toast and spread peanut butter on it. I took a seat across from her and ate quietly. I knew she was watching me, and I knew her mind was probably racing too. But I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her why I was pulling back.
I didn’t want to hurt her.
“You ready to head in?” I asked. I was thankful to have had my Mercedes delivered a few hours ago so we could get the day started.
Elizabeth nodded. “Just let me grab my bag, and I’m good to go.”
“I’ll meet you at the door.”
* * *
The hospital was a shit show when we arrived. Elizabeth and I were pulled in different directions. She went to assist in the ER, and I was rushed into surgery to repair some internal damage on a car crash victim who was run off the road by a semi truck.
It was a rough start to the day.
When I finally had a moment to myself in my office six hours later, I dropped into my chair and rubbed at my eyes with the heels of my hands. My moment of peace didn’t last long. After just four minutes, there was a knock on my door. Sarah Vant poked her head in, not waiting for me to invite her in.
“Dr. Crawford? Do you have a minute?”
No. I never had a minute.
I sighed. “Yeah. Come in.”
Sarah slipped into my office and closed the door softly behind her. She had a file tucked under her arm, and she was dressed in a pencil skirt and blouse. Her hair was down and curled, and she’d clearly put a lot of effort into her makeup. She was most definitely not on the floor today but was probably meeting with the board or in meetings all day. Perhaps surgery consultations.
She stopped in front of my desk and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “How have you been, Aiden?”
I didn’t have time for this shit. Or the mental energy. “Fine. What do you need, Sarah?”
She handed me the file. “I have a patient asking for brain surgery. He’s not a good candidate. But if he doesn’t get the procedure done, he’s going to die in three months. He’s thirty-seven and loaded. He wants to pay for the surgery and donate fifty thousand to the hospital regardless of a successful outcome or not.”
“So, what are you asking?”
“Can you tell me if it’s worth taking a shot at it? I don’t want a dead man on my table. My reputation is on the line.”
I sighed and flipped open the file to peer down at brain scans depicting a tumor on the patient’s frontal lobe. “If he’s willing to pay and make a donation, why not just do it?”
She clasped her hands in front of herself and shrugged one shoulder. “It’s still a life in my hands.”
“So he dies now, or he dies six months from now?”
She nodded.
“What the fuck is the difference at this point?” I asked, closing the file. “Sure, it’s a tight surgery. There’s no room for error. But it’s an easy decision.”
“So you think I should do it?”
“Yes.”
She nodded. “I thought you might say so.”
“Then why waste my time coming in here and asking?”
She smiled sweetly at me. “I wanted an excuse to come see you. We don’t see enough of each other in this place anymore, Aiden. I miss you.”
“Sarah, I—”
“I know. I know.” She held up her hand. “You’re not interested. But I know what your life is like, Aiden. Because mine is the same. I know what the lonely nights are like and the lonely mornings. It’s hard. And I just want you to know if you ever need the company, I’ll be there. For whatever you need.”
I planted my hands flat on my desk and pushed myself to my feet. “Sarah. I don’t want that with you. How many times do I have to say this?”
She leaned forward to brace herself on the desk too. “I’m a stubborn woman, Aiden. I don’t stop until I get what I want. Just like you. And one of these days, you’re going to bend. And I’m going to be here waiting.”
I laughed. It was a bitter sound. “You know I could go after you for sexual harassment, right?”
“I do. And I also know you’d never do that.”
“And why is that?”
She grinned. “Because I’m good at my fucking job and you know it.”
I wanted to tell her to take a hike and get the fuck out of my office. But she was right. She was damn good at her job. Hell, she was in the top percentage here at St. Mark’s. And I wouldn’t put my issues with her in front of the needs of her patients.
&nbs
p; “Get out,” I said.
Sarah straightened up with a cocky smile. “As you wish, doctor.”
She was about to run from my desk when my office door opened.
I looked up to find Elizabeth standing in the doorway. Her eyes flicked from me to Sarah, and a flicker of confusion crossed her face.
My heart tightened in my chest.
This wasn’t what it looked like, damn it.
But why should I care? I was trying to slow things down between us anyway.
“Hi, sweetheart,” Sarah purred, waggling her fingers at Elizabeth. “I’m done with Dr. Crawford for now. He’s all yours.” She turned toward me to offer me a seductive smile. “See you around, Aiden.”
She turned on her heel and marched out, dropping her shoulder to pass Elizabeth in the doorway.
I rubbed my temples. “Come in, Elizabeth.”
She came in and closed the door behind her, but she didn’t come closer to my desk. She stared at her feet. “Aiden, did I do something wrong this morning?”
“What?”
She chewed the inside of her cheek, and a strand of hair fell in front of her face. “Did I do something wrong? I feel like all of a sudden, something changed, and I—I would hope you’d tell me if I messed up.” Her eyes swept up to me.
Fuck.
“I have a lot going on, Elizabeth. I can’t indulge you right now.”
She blinked at me. “Indulge?”
“I have a lot on my plate.”
She narrowed her eyes. “It didn’t seem like you had too much going on to indulge Sarah.”
“Enough.”
She lifted her chin. “I’m sorry.”
She didn’t look sorry.
I sighed. “It’s not what it—”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I’m your resident.” She squared her shoulders. “I just wanted to see if you were okay after this morning. But I’ll leave you to your work.”
“Elizabeth.”
She didn’t hear me. She’d already turned and marched out into the hall, leaving me reeling in the aftermath of hurting her.
That was never my intention.
I fell back into my chair and pinched the bridge of my nose.
I should have known better than to get involved like this. Now she was hurting, and I was confused. And scared.
Love made everything stickier. Messier. More dangerous.
My lifestyle didn’t leave room for that kind of shit.
Elizabeth had to learn one way or another that hers didn’t either. I was her mentor. Who better to show her what our reality was like than me?
29
Elizabeth
I dared myself not to cry as I hurried down the hall away from Aiden’s office.
Who the hell did he think he was, talking to me like that? What could I possibly have done wrong that deserved that callous attitude?
I couldn’t think of a damn thing. And that made me all the angrier. I hadn’t done anything wrong. This was on him. He was the one pulling away, and I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out why.
I ducked into the women’s locker room and locked myself in one of the bathroom stalls to sit down on the toilet and bury my face in my hands.
This was my own damn fault. I should have seen this coming. When I offered my body to him, there had been a small voice in the back of my head that warned me this wouldn’t end well. I was putting everything on the line for him; my career, my sanity, my heart. Everything.
And he didn’t seem to give a damn.
He’d just thrown it all back in my face like it was nothing. Like I was nothing.
And just a few short hours ago, he’d transferred another ten thousand dollars into my account. What did he expect me to think of that? Where was the line? How was I supposed to know what was on or off the table?
Were we back to me being his resident and his resident only?
I could get on board with that. Sure, it might take me a bit of time to put my heart back together, but I’d faced harder things than that. It was all the unknowns that made things worse. When had the shift happened? One minute, he was waking me up with kisses, and the next, he was recoiling from me like I was a venomous snake poised to strike.
It didn’t add up.
I shook my head. “You must have done something. It’s the only explanation.”
But what?
I dropped my hands from my face and tightened them into fists. It didn’t matter what it was. I couldn’t let it interfere with my work here. I couldn’t let it get in my head and fuck me up. I was stronger than that. The patients relying on me demanded I be stronger than that.
I would prove to him that I could be the best damn doctor he’s ever seen, despite him stomping all over my heart.
I stood up and pushed out of the stall.
And there, in front of the mirror, slapping on a magenta shade lip stain, was none other than Sarah fucking Vant.
I stopped in my tracks as we locked eyes in her reflection.
I straightened out my scrubs. “Hi, Sarah.”
“Hi, sweetheart. Long time no see.” She screwed her lip stain back together and dropped it in her purse as she rubbed her lips together. I moved up to the sink and began washing my hands, looking down to avoid her intense stare. “Is everything all right, Elizabeth? You look pale.”
“Thanks.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just concerned. This job takes a toll, and I hope you’re taking care of yourself.”
“I am.”
“Good to hear.” She rested a hand on my shoulder.
I resisted the urge to pull away from her. Just like I would show Aiden I was the best doctor he’d ever seen, I would show Sarah that I was not someone to be fucked with. I wasn’t going to let her and her tight skirt and her high shoes intimidate me.
I dried my hands. “Meetings today? You look nice.”
She looked down at herself. “Thank you. Yes, I have lots of meetings. The longer you do this gig for, the less time you actually have to spend around the blood and the dying. It’s a nice perk.”
I grimaced.
She let out a soft chuckle. “You’re young. Trust me. You’ll feel the same way once you have a few more years under your belt. Especially working with Aiden. You’ll see the worst of the worst with him. He’s fearless, and he’ll tackle the most difficult tasks. You’re lucky to have him as a mentor.”
I didn’t feel lucky right then, but I said, “I know. I’ve already learned so much from him.”
“It must help to have someone so easy on the eyes working so closely with you as well.”
I swallowed. “I don’t see him like that. He’s my—”
Sarah laughed and leaned on the counter. “Oh, sweetheart, there’s no need for you to lie to me. We’re all friends here. Every woman in this place would spread their legs for Aiden if he asked. Do you really expect me to believe you’re the exception?”
I felt small. So incredibly small. And weak. And mortified. But I lifted my chin. “We have a strictly professional relationship, and that’s how I intend to keep it. I didn’t spend ten years at New York University to flush it all away simply because I got caught up in how attractive a doctor was. I’m not that type of woman.” I glared daggers at her.
She splayed her hands innocently. “I beg your pardon then. I, for one, would let him do whatever he wanted to me, whenever. Hell. If he wanted to have his way with me in his office, I’d let him take my shirt off with his teeth and—”
“This is extremely unprofessional. I’d prefer if we didn’t talk like this.”
Sarah arched an eyebrow. “I’m surprised.”
“About what?” I asked sharply.
She shrugged one shoulder, and her eyes moved over me like she was analyzing a medical document she disapproved of. Bitch. “Well, I thought I had you pretty much figured out. But maybe I was wrong.”
I folded my arms over my chest as if to hide myself from her. “You don’t k
now me.”
“I guess not. Not yet, at least.” She smiled sweetly. “I thought Dr. Crawford would have had you eating out of the palm of his hand by now. Like a sweet little pet with those big doe eyes of yours.”
“I’d like to believe he respects me more than that.” My words felt hollow as they fell from my lips.
Sarah moved past me, her hips swaying as her heels struck the floor. “Let’s hope so. That man makes or breaks careers. And yours looks very promising. So long as you keep your eye on the prize. See you later, sweetheart.”
I stood shaking with anger at the bathroom sinks long after Sarah Vant’s footsteps faded out of earshot.
All this drama was becoming too much. It kept piling up, one thing on top of the next, and if I didn’t get it under control, I was going to drown.
I clenched my jaw.
Whatever Aiden was struggling with couldn’t impact my ability to do my job. I just needed to find a way to keep my emotions out of it. While we were at work, we were at work. The patients were our top priority. The flirting, the sidelong glances, and the breathy moments we stole in the privacy of his office needed to stop until I could make sense of what was going on.
If he didn’t want me anymore, then so be it.
But if he did…
I shook my head and left the women’s locker room, striking out into the hall and heading back to the ER to see where they needed an extra set of hands. As I took a sharp right, I was joined by Stephanie, who was eating a raspberry yogurt cup.
“Hey,” she said, shouldering me lightly. “How are you? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. You’re hardly home anymore. All that time with Dr. Hottie sure has—”
“Steph!”
“Sorry,” she said, biting her tongue and looking around nervously. “But you know what I mean. I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”
She studied me. “Are you all right?”
“Yes.”
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not lying.”
Between The Sheets Page 17
