Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? On the Side: Sword Oratoria, Vol. 2

by Fujino Omori, Kiyotaka Haimura

  This time it was Tiona who jumped in to keep her older sister under control. However, every man in the ring had just experienced the true meaning of terror. Every single one of them had their knees together in a desperate attempt to protect their manhoods.

  “…Um, Bors. As you can see, none of these girls would use their body in that way. It’s just not in their nature.”

  “Y-yeah…Sorry for suspectin’ you. M-my bad.”

  The normally gruff and masculine Bors had both hands clamped tightly over his crotch, pitifully nodding as he struggled to put words together.

  Finn had grown tired of the situation, rolling his eyes at the spectacle. So he took a deep breath to clear his thoughts and took another look around the room.

  “I’d like to do a little investigating. Might have to touch a few things, is that okay?”

  “Sure, do what you want.”

  Bors surrendered his authority over the crime scene without any fuss, realizing that it was now beyond his ability. Finn thanked him and asked for Riveria’s help in checking the area around the body.

  Everyone in the room, including Aiz and the Amazons, gathered in a corner to give the two some space. First, Finn took a closer look at Hashana’s remains.

  “The cause of death was blunt force to the head…No, these wounds suggest the neck was broken first.”

  “So you surmise that the killer snapped his neck and killed him before crushing his head?”

  “Looks that way to me.”

  Finn responded to Riveria’s inquiry while taking a closer look at what was left of the man’s chin and neck area.

  Rolling the body onto its back and replacing the cloth that covered the gruesome sight, he noticed that the rest of the man’s body showed no signs of a struggle. It must have been over in an instant.

  “There had to have been a reason…Or maybe…”

  Finn raised his gaze from the body and onto a backpack in a corner of the room.

  Walking past blood-splattered armor, he made his way over to the pack to see if there were any clues left behind. Immediately, he could tell that someone had nearly torn it apart while looking through it.

  “The robed woman might’ve been after something special Hashana was carrying at the time.”

  “Ohhh, now there’s a simple answer. And because of that, the poor guy got lured into a honey trap and ended up dead.”

  “Looking at the condition of this bag…I would say the attacker was not acting in desperation, but something closer to irritation.”

  Finn, Bors, and Riveria shared their opinions. Aiz walked away from the group of observers to take a look for herself.

  The fabric was torn in many places, literally nothing more than threads holding the seams together. The bag’s contents were strewn about the room, potions and other items lying scattered across the floor. Someone searching for an item in a panic would have likely thrown everything in the same direction. This seemed more like the result of the killer venting her frustration.

  “So she couldn’t find her objective and decided to take it out on the corpse…That would make sense.”

  “Sounds like something Tione would do.”

  “I would never do anything like this!!”

  Tione howled at her sister, refusing to be compared to the murderess.

  Finn ignored their steadily escalating bickering and started looking for any leads that might still be waiting to be found among the items.

  “What have we here?”

  His sharp eyes managed to spot a bloodstained piece of paper among the shattered potion bottles and broken drop items.

  He picked it up as Aiz, Tiona, and Lefiya came to his side.

  “What’s that?”

  “A request form…for a quest?”

  He unfolded the piece of paper, but the thick bloodstains made it nearly impossible to read any of the information written on it.

  Finn squinted his eyes and held the red paper up to the light in an attempt to read what was still legible.

  “Floor thirty…Alone, collect…Secretly…”

  The group around Finn used the new information to form their own ideas about the quest’s original intent.

  A few moments passed before Finn took a guess, but they all were thinking the same thing.

  Quietly, he mumbled as if talking to himself.

  “Hashana accepted the quest, and the killer was after the thing that he went to the thirtieth floor to retrieve…?”

  Silence pervaded the room.

  Still kneeling where he had found the paper, Finn got to his feet. Then he looked up at Bors, who was standing beside him.

  “Any idea what kind of equipment Hashana usually wore?”

  “Let me think…That guy was pretty famous, but he almost never showed up in Rivira…Willy, any ideas?”

  “Well, if my memory serves me…he always had a helmet on. Looked a lot like Ganesha’s. You could never really see his face. But I don’t think he ever wore full-plated armor before this—no, I’m sure of it.”

  Finn pondered their responses, fingers resting on his chin. A long “Hmmmmm” escaped from his lips. The prum’s eyes were back on the dark wheat-colored corpse.

  Riveria took a step forward and opened her mouth to speak.

  “I believe that Hashana concealed his identity in order to carry out the quest. It is highly unlikely that he mentioned this to anyone in his familia.”

  Riveria’s emerald gaze was locked squarely on the blood-splattered armor on the floor.

  There was a strong possibility that Hashana had acquired this armor for the sole purpose of fulfilling the client’s request. Ganesha Familia’s emblem was nowhere to be seen on any of the plates.

  Considering how fast information spread, the fact that none of his former allies were taking any action at this point proved that Hashana was working alone—he’d accepted the mission directly from the client.

  “…Bors, would you seal off the town, for a bit? I don’t want anyone still here to leave Rivira.”

  Everyone’s gazes snapped to Finn the moment he made his request.

  Bors’s face wrinkled up around his eye patch as he scratched his boulder-like chin.

  “You think the killer is still walking around here like nothing happened? If it were me, I would’ve hightailed it out of here while the gettin’ was good.”

  “A powerful adventurer like Hashana was given a quest in secret…Whatever the culprit was looking for, it needed a powerful protector. At the very least, it was worth committing murder to acquire. If said item wasn’t recovered, the killer can’t exactly go back empty-handed.

  “That and,” added Finn as he licked the base of his right thumb, “I’m sure she’s still here…Got a strong hunch, anyway.”

  Bors look down meekly at the confident blue eyes staring up at him. “All right, then,” he said with a nod.

  Waving his thick arms in the air, Bors issued orders to his fellow residents in the room.

  “Close the north and south gates. Then, gather everyone in town in one spot. Restrain anyone who won’t to listen to ya—they might be the one we’re after. Willy, explain the situation to adventurers that just arrived and separate them from the main group.”

  “O-on it.”

  Tiona, Tione, Lefiya, and Aiz watched all of Bors’s subordinates trip over themselves and each other in their rush out the door.

  “Well, we walked into something big.”

  “Yeah…”

  “We’re already in this deep. Looks like it’ll be a fight to honor Hashana’s memory. We owe it to him to find the killer.”

  “Y-yes.”

  Aiz gave short responses to the Amazonian twins, her eyes focused on the now forever-silent body.

  Taking their words to heart, she resolutely raised her face and joined the others as they left the room behind.

  The town of Rivira was being shaken to the core.

  The air crackled with tension.

  The temperature was mild, th
e heat of the afternoon sun warming the street. However, the area around Loki felt ice-cold. Four people stood face-to-face, exchanging glances of surprise and suspicion.

  Bete’s declaration hung in the air for several seconds before anyone made a move.

  Seeing the wolf glare at her god, the young elf jumped in front to protect Dionysus.

  “Stand down, Filvis. You’re no match for him.”

  “But, still…Lord Dionysus.”

  The elf called Filvis didn’t move from the spot, keeping herself directly between them.

  She was a pure young elf. Face perfectly symmetrical and delicate, her eyes were like a set of unmarred red jewels framed by silky pale skin. Her outfit was mostly white, complete with a cape around her shoulders and a high collar that concealed her neck. Elves were known for exposing as little skin as possible, and she was no exception.

  Arrow-straight glossy black hair fell nearly to her waist. Carrying herself with dignity, dressed in white, she had the look and feel of a young priestess.

  What a fine-lookin’ young lady, Loki thought to herself as she watched Dionysus place his hand on the girl’s shoulder and step in front of her.

  “We shall make no attempt to run or hide. Would you be willing to hear us out, Loki?”

  “…Why not. Let’s find some place to go.”

  It was the deity’s willingness to cooperate and the sincerity in his glass-colored eyes that convinced Loki to take him up on the offer.

  They found what they were looking for in a red brick hotel facing the street nearby: a lounge with a window. Handing the owner some extra money was enough to convince him to let them make use of it.

  “If possible, I’d like to keep this conversation between us,” requested Dionysus. Of course he didn’t want strangers overhearing what he had to say, but he also wanted to keep their “children” in the dark. Loki accepted.

  “Oi, you sure about this?”

  “Eh, it’s fine. I’ll signal ya if things go sour, Bete. You’ll come to my rescue, won’cha?”

  Bete whispered into the goddess’s ear and she responded in kind. While he wasn’t all that thrilled with her answer, he went outside the hotel and stood right in front of the lounge window, ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice.

  The two deities found a private booth away from the other seats in the lounge. Loki took the closest seat and looked Dionysus right in the eyes.

  “All right, spill the beans.”

  She leaned forward, her elbows on the table between them.

  Loki was determined to hear any and all information concerning the Monsterphilia and the hungry plants that Dionysus had to offer.

  “Of course,” said the deity with a nod. “To start with, I would like to resolve the misunderstanding. I am not the one behind these incidents, as you seem to believe, Loki.”

  The goddess was eyeing him like an interrogator. Dionysus’s opening statement made her raise an eyebrow, but she said nothing. He took that as his cue to keep talking.

  “Just to confirm, the information you seek all pertains to the plant monsters, am I right?”

  “Damn right. And ya showed up while I was seekin’ it.”

  “Is that right.” Dionysus gave a quick sigh. “Now where to begin…”

  The god broke eye contact, choosing to look at the table while he collected his thoughts.

  As Bete and Filvis stood side by side, facing the street just outside the window, several moments passed before Dionysus slowly opened his mouth.

  “I’m looking for those monsters. Well, I was.”

  Looking Loki in the eyes once again, he continued.

  “One month ago, several of my children were slain.”

  “!!”

  Dionysus added that she would understand if she looked for evidence at the Guild.

  “The killer’s method was simple: approach from the front, grab the neck, then break it. Three of my followers died instantly.”

  “…And their Levels were…?”

  “Two were Level One, and the last was Level Two.”

  If what the god said was true, that meant the killer had to be strong enough to kill an upper-class adventurer without a second thought.

  Loki turned her ear to listen more closely.

  “I was unable to take the deaths of my children lying down, so I launched my own investigation. During that time, I found evidence that led me to believe my children saw something they shouldn’t have, and were subsequently erased.”

  “And that would be…?”

  “This.”

  Dionysus reached into his jacket and withdrew a brilliantly colored magic stone.

  Loki watched in silence as the god placed the stone on the table.

  “The one that I found a month ago was much smaller, a fraction of a shard at best. I recovered this one on the day of the Monsterphilia, from one of the creatures that your Sword Princess slew during combat. I was lucky to get my hands on it before the Guild.”

  “…That’s one dangerous bridge yer crossin’.”

  Had he been discovered, Dionysus would have aroused suspicion and possibly been mistaken for the perpetrator.

  Dionysus smiled wryly at the mixture of awe and respect on Loki’s face.

  “Their bodies, as well as the stone fragment, were discovered in a desolate alleyway in the eastern part of the city, very close to where we are now. And then, a particularly large event was held here just a few days ago.”

  “The Monsterphilia?”

  “Yes. It may have been a coincidence, but I thought the two could be related. Thinking that something might happen, I set up a watch, and then I waited.”

  Just as he had suspected, something had happened.

  While Freya’s game of cat and mouse had caused quite a stir, the green monsters with brilliant magic stones in their throats had appeared, just as Dionysus had anticipated.

  “The reason that you found us during your investigation, and that our smell was present in the sewer system, is that we, too, were on the trail of those monsters…While it’s painful for me to admit, they were too strong for my children to overcome, and I was unable to reach any solid conclusions.”

  Dionysus’s shoulders sank, confessing his disappointment. His side of the story complete, the deity fell silent.

  He answered every single one of Loki’s follow-up questions. It turned out that the strange door to the old sewer system was also his doing. At his request, Filvis had removed the old door by force and replaced it with a similar one.

  Loki couldn’t help but admire his character, the confidence to take evidence right out from under the Guild’s nose, as well as to answer any question without hesitation despite his delicate looks. Dionysus must have figured out what Loki was thinking because a small smile began to form on his face.

  “Cut that out, will ya? Givin’ me the creeps,” said the goddess, waving her hand a few times across her face. “…Anywho, for the time bein’, I’ll take yer word. I’ll know for sure once I get to the bottom of this.”

  “Sorry about this. And thank you, Loki.”

  A long sigh escaped from Dionysus’s lips. Relief flooded through him the moment their misunderstanding had been cleared up.

  “To tell you the truth, I was trying to discern the familia of my children’s killer at Ganesha’s Banquet the other night. It was my intent to provoke the gods I suspected at the party and see what rose to the surface.”

  Oh yeah, Loki thought to herself after hearing Dionysus’s admission. Memories of that night came flooding back.

  “Are you going to cause a ruckus again?”—Yes, he had asked her that very question.

  So he was trying to provoke her then judge her reaction?

  This bastard…Loki growled to herself and nearly gritted her teeth.

  “…But the strength to suffocate a Level Two adventurer without breakin’ a sweat, that’s somethin’ else. That’s gotta mean the killer’s around Level Three or Four, yeah?”

  �
��Yes, I believe so as well.”

  “The list of suspects gets a heck of a lot shorter if we only look at familias with adventurers over Level Three.”

  That was the reason Dionysus had targeted Loki during his investigation.

  With high-level adventurers like Aiz Wallenstein in her court, he had no reason not to suspect Loki Familia.

  “Not quite. There are some, like Hermes, who don’t report children who have ranked up. Ignoring any of them would be careless.”

  “The dandy’s up to that kinda stuff…?”

  “Indeed. A child’s lie may be plain as day, but gods can never be sure if the words of their own kind ring true.”

  Dionysus emphasized that a considerable number of deities had no problem with bending a few rules. He straightened his shoulders for the first time since the meeting began and boldly declared:

  “As far as I’m concerned, every god and goddess in Orario is a suspect, and an enemy of my children.”

  The blond deity’s unwavering gaze met Loki’s. He was absolutely serious.

  “Ohh?” said Loki, opening her thin eyes a little wider under his glass-colored stare.

  A grin appeared on her lips.

  “So, what d’ya think of me?” she asked him casually.

  “…Much more innocent than I thought before.”

  “C’mon, go ahead an’ make that completely innocent, why don’cha?”

  Dionysus’s smile returned, irritating Loki to no end.

  “At the very least, I trust you more than any other god in Orario.”

  I wonder about that, Loki thought to herself. “Still no idea what the bad guy was after, but I got the feeling this ain’t over. Monsters in the sewer an’ all.”

  “Yes, I’m inclined to agree.”

  “Ya said ya already did some pokin’ around? Anything catch yer eye?”

  Dionysus’s smile disappeared the moment Loki asked her question. A frown grew on his face, his gaze sharpening.

  He leaned over the table and dropped his voice to make sure he wasn’t overheard.

  “How do you believe those monsters made it to the surface in the first place, Loki?”

  “…Well, you’d think Ganesha’s kids woulda brought ’em up for the Monsterphilia.”