The Rogue Agent

by Shiloh White

  “Right,” Dart said. He crouched down and I felt the straps tighten around one ankle, then the other. “Because we have your Depression Zone's location now, I can tap into his entry points.” My mind was a blank. I blamed it on the anxiety radiating from my stomach. “Entry points...” I echoed, “What are those again?” Dart stood up again with a grunt.

  “They're how the Officers get in and out of the Zones,” Dart said.

  “Right,” I said. “Like how the Lieutenant and I escaped my other Zone.”

  “Pretty much,” Dart's voice squeaked a little, and he put his hand on the back of his neck. “Only, if I was there to help you guys, I could've opened an entry point to where your readings were instead of you guys having to make it back to the initial entry point at Lucy's house. At least then—

  “Dart, that's in the past.” Lieutenant Hollister said, still pacing by the entrance of the room.

  “Right. Sorry,” Dart said. “Anyway, I'll be watching the Zone while you're inside. Once I get readings that you and Lucas are inside, I'll close off his and your entry points so he can't escape. Then it will be up to you to get Lucas to stop Chloe's transformation and immobilize him so you can get out.”

  “That's a lot to put on Lucy's shoulders.” Lieutenant Hollister pointed out. “We don't even know if the rogue Agent will even let Chloe go once Lucy's inside. If he doesn't, she'll turn into a Depression Agent.” Great reminder, I thought. Lieutenant Hollister might have been in charge, but I figured she could use some practice in motivation.

  “That won't happen.” I told her. “Lucas might be the rogue Agent now, but he used to be my brother. He wouldn't actually hurt Chloe.” I felt like I was convincing myself more than the Lieutenant. I had to believe that Lucas would hold up his end of the deal. I didn't have any other options.

  “Lucas has spent the past six months ravaging Depression Zones, working with crazy Agents like Damian, and now he's kidnapped your sister.” Lieutenant Hollister noted. “He hasn't been your brother for a while. For all we know, he's gained complete control of your Zone already. He could be planning to escape with the both of you once you're inside.”

  “Do you guys see why I'm not positive now?” Dart asked. He hit a button on his laptop, and his station in the middle of the room whirred to life. “Like the Lieutenant noted, there actually is a possibility Lucas is in control of the Zone, and if he can escape with the both of you, he could also open an entry point right here at HQ.”

  “What good would that do him?” I asked.

  “Well, what good would an entrance straight into your enemy's headquarters do if you were teamed up with someone who can rally an army of Depression Agents?”

  “If that happens,” Lieutenant Hollister cut in, “we won't be able to help you, Lucy. You'll be on your own.”

  The transmission we saw flashed in my head. I saw Chloe, slowly turning into a Depression Agent. I remembered how she looked; scared numb, hugging her legs up against the wall of the bed...I wasn't worried about being on my own right now.

  “So your plan boils down to me going into my third Depression Zone, trying to stop Lucas from whatever he might try, assuming he hasn't already gained control of the whole Zone—which could lead to a whole mess of other problems, all of them bad—all while trying to save Chloe before she turns into a Depression Agent?” I asked, trying to sum up the whole disaster. It was my idea to go along with Lucas in the first place, and go it alone. And yet, sitting in the chair now, it seemed more of a daunting task than I thought. But to save Chloe, I couldn't afford to be daunted.

  Dart set his laptop down at the table and put his hands on his hips, looking up to think for a moment. “Uh...yeah. Plus, you gotta get out. And since the time I got the transmission, we have less than thirty minutes to get you in there to save her. So what's it going to be?”

  “I'm gonna do it,” I said with no hesitation. Lieutenant Hollister let out a deep breath. I couldn't tell if she was relieved or even more stressed.

  “Well, alright then,” Dart said. “Let's do this.” He walked over to the TransPort and started it up.

  “Dart,” I said quietly as he started to walk back to his desk. He stopped and turned around.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “What is my last Zone centered on?” I asked, a little too quickly. Dart put his hand on the back of his neck.

  “It’s uh...” he paused. “You sure you wanna know?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I demanded. “Of course I want to know.”

  “It’s just,” Dart stammered, “aren’t you going in to save Chloe right now? The Zone can be handled afterwards—”

  Dart stopped when he saw the glaring look on my face. I was serious about knowing what was happening, and it made me upset he didn’t want to tell me.

  “It’s Schizophrenia,” he said. “It's not as deeply embedded as your other Zones, but definitely something to watch out for. If Lucas is in control...he might have access to your memories.” I didn’t have a response to him. But between seeing my brother on a swing and getting a birthday gift from him after he died? The Zone made perfect sense to me. On top of that, the so-called “therapy sessions” couldn't have helped. It bugged me a little, but like Dart said, right now we were here for Chloe...and Lucas.

  “Was that all?” Dart asked. “Are you ready to go in?”

  I bit my lip. “One more thing,” I told him. “Did you...did you know the rogue Agent was my brother too?” I asked, keeping my voice low so the Lieutenant couldn't hear me. Dart glanced over at her, watching her pace back and forth by the front of the room.

  “'I’m sorry, Lucy,” Dart said, turning back to face me. “The Lieutenant doesn't share all of her plan with anyone. She could've have had other Officers to get her that information.” “Oh." I said.

  Now it was my turn to figure out if I was relieved that Dart didn't know about Lucas being the rogue Agent or more upset at the Lieutenant because of it. Ultimately, I decided it was a good thing; Dart had been in the same boat as me. Overall, I felt a little less betrayed than I did a few minutes ago. (Progress is progress, people.)

  “Hey, when you're in there,” Dart continued, “be careful. Whoever this guy is now, he's gonna take advantage of being your brother; he'll try to tell you exactly what you want to hear. Don't give in. Remember you have that Handle for a reason. Now's the time to use it and hold on.” I nodded.

  Dart tapped the armrest with his hand, as if deciding that was the cutoff point for the conversation. He walked back to his station. Lieutenant Hollister shut the door, and walked over to join him there. I heard a couple button clicks and the TransPort helmet lowered to my head. I started to close my eyes, feeling that uneasiness in my stomach getting stronger.

  “Wait!” The door burst open. Scott was standing on the other side, leaning on Halsey to keep from falling over. Halsey looked like she was about to pass out too; her face was flushed full of red, and she couldn't stand up straight.

  I looked at Scott, and my heart began to ache. All I could think of as I looked at him was Lucas' crash. He looked back at me in confusion or shock or fear—I couldn't tell. I didn't wait to find out, either. I closed my eyes and searched through the blackness to find everything leading up to this moment. I would be back for Scott; I hope.

  For now, I was coming for Chloe.

  42. I Count Exactly One Shade Of Gray

  For the first ten seconds with my eyes shut, I wanted to throw up.

  The two other Zones I entered had a wistful “getting out of bed” vibe to them; it was up to me to go deeper until I arrived in the Zone, and I could go at my own pace.

  This Zone was nothing like that.

  Instead, I felt like I was being forced through the darkness on a roller coaster literally built out of my emotions and memories. It was like zooming through the electronics section of a department store where all the televisions are tuned to the same channel. Only, the channel they were all tuned to were my memories.


  The first memory to flash by, I didn’t need any help remembering.

  I watched Lucas running out of the house, Scott close behind him. It was the night he died. Or at least, everyone thought he died. I felt a lurch in my stomach, and I couldn't tell whether it was because I was uneasy about Lucas, or just the roller coaster ride taking a dive. Before I could figure that out, something in the darkness began to glow up ahead. I couldn't make out what it was; all I saw was a glowing ball of light. But something about it felt warm. It glowed bigger, and the memory changed. I saw something...older. My family, all having fun at the park. The rush of the emotional roller coaster started to slow down, and I could see the memory clearly.

  I watched a younger version of myself run over to the swings and jump on. Baby Chloe ran close behind with her stubby little legs. She reached for the swing and almost fell over, but Mom ran to catch her. She helped Chloe onto the seat, and started to push her. I couldn't help but smile. Lucas ran up behind Young Me, and gave her a giant push on the swing that almost caused her to fall. The expression on her face was anything but terror, though. A big grin spread from cheek to cheek. During all this, Dad dragged a park table over and climbed on top. He raised a camera to take a picture of the whole thing.

  Then the memory flashed and changed. It showed Young Me and Anna in her parents' bakery, picking something out one day before school. Then it flashed again and a couple more memories went by, each one older than the one before. Lucas and I building forts in the living room. My mom and I finger-painting when I was really young. They didn't last as long as the first one, but they still had that warm feeling as the first one.

  The light flashed again, but instead of showing another memory, it grew really dim. The roller coaster started to speed up again through the darkness. Then more memories started to zoom by. Only, these didn't feel warm like before. Each one that went by made my body temperature drop like, ten degrees each. I tried to catch a glimpse of a few of them going past, and my body locked up when I realized what they were. My dad and I at the therapists' office; Lucas (who I decided was Depression Agent Lucas) on the swing set, walking away from young me. These were buried memories I tried to hide from myself. The ones I didn't want to remember.

  The next one I saw slowed down as it got closer. I saw my mom standing in the doorway, a bag in each hand. Little Chloe and Young Me stood behind Dad, who said words to Mom that echoed in the darkness: “Please, don't go.” Mom only shook her head and turned to leave. Chloe ran after her, reaching at the handle as the door closed in front of her. Then the memory shimmered around Chloe, and it changed. All of the other memories came into this one, creating one long screen that followed the emotional roller coaster towards the dim light:

  Chloe was falling through darkness, looking taller and older as she fell. It was showing Chloe now. No...Wait...It was the transmission. Chloe was sitting on the hospital bed clutching her knees, smoke peeling from her skin like ashes floating around in the air. Another lurch and it felt like both my stomach and my heart got off the roller coaster. I felt broken.

  How could I let this happen to her?

  “Help me, Lucy...” Chloe’s voice called out in the darkness.

  “How?” I yelled into the darkness. “I’m trying, Chloe!”

  I wasn’t sure if what I said next was out loud or in my head, but I asked “Why is this my life?”

  “IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE.” a familiar voice called out to me in the darkness. I didn’t hesitate to answer him. “What do I do? How do I get Chloe back?” I asked.

  Instead of an answer, all I got was launched even faster on the roller coaster. I practically flew into the dim light in front of me until it was bright enough to blind me. “Take me back to Chloe!” I screamed out at the familiar voice. Then the blinding light that was coming closer started flashing and the roller coaster picked up speed, driving me through the darkness. But it didn’t turn around. We just kept flying forward.

  “STOP!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, right as we connected with the light.

  And it all stopped.

  ✽✽✽

  I woke up lying in a pile of grayness. And that’s not an expression.

  I sat up—which made me feel very dizzy—and looked around. Everything resembled the middle of a rain cloud, right down to the dark gray color all around me. The only thing inconsistent with the whole cloud idea was that the ground I sat on was solid, like cement. Where was I?

  “Oh no,” I said to myself. The roller coaster of emotions flooded back into my memory all at once. Did I fly through that light and land here? Or maybe when I yelled “Stop”, all of it did. I got catapulted off of the crazy thing and landed down here. It would’ve explained the unconsciousness. Either way, a bigger question kept nipping at the back of my head: Is this my Zone or not?

  I had no clue if it was. First things first, though, I decided to get up. But it would have to be slowly; I didn’t want to get dizzy again. I got up on my hands and knees, when the familiar voice spoke again.

  “Lucy...you have the power to make things real...” it echoed all around me. I knew his voice. But it didn’t stop me from getting startled when he spoke. I jumped to my feet, and the blue paintbrush fell out of my pocket. I bent over to catch it, but it hit the ground before I could reach. I tried to pick it up, but as I reached for it, the ground opened up around it and swallowed it whole.

  “Oh,” I muttered. “Yeah, that's great. Swallowed up by the ground.” I sighed and stuck my hand into the jacket pocket. At least I still had the yellow paintbrush. I took another look around and decided to leave the paintbrush in my pocket. I didn't want to risk dropping that one too.

  All I could see in every direction was the grayness, stretching onto the gray horizon inside this gray cloud prison. Even above me was just more grayness. No sign of the roller coaster I'd taken to get here; I guessed I wasn't going to be getting back home that way. I looked around for the next best option—an EXIT sign. Unlucky for me, there wasn't one in sight. Everywhere I looked; just more grayness.

  Did Dart already close the entry points? That would’ve meant that this was my Zone. It also would’ve meant that Lucas was here too. Or was it just the Schizophrenia?

  “Hello?..” his voice spoke up again. I looked everywhere in the grayness for him, but I saw nothing. “Show yourself!” I yelled out.

  “Oh, Lucy...” this time, his voice came from right behind me. I slowly moved my hand toward my pocket. “I’ve always been here with you.” I pinched the buttons on the canister and pulled the paintbrush out of my jacket pocket, dripping with yellow paint. When I turned around, there was no Lucas. What I saw instead was just as disturbing, however.

  A little ways away from me stood a swing set with two empty swings. It sat there all by itself, looking pretty sad. The swings were still, as if no one bothered to go near it in a long time. I walked up to it, keeping my yellow paintbrush close. As I walked closer, one of the swings started to move back and forth. I took a step back and raised my paintbrush, ready to strike.

  “Sit and swing with me, Sis...” he said. I kept my eyes on the moving swing. As it went back and forth, the air around it shimmered until he was sitting there. No hood and cloak. Not clutching his head with bloodshot eyes. No Depression Agent smoke, but Lucas. Fair blond hair coming down to his friendly blue eyes. Tan skin, and a face covered in freckles. The way I remembered him before all of this. He was trying to recreate that memory.

  I took a step forward toward the swing, but then I hesitated. Dart’s words echoed in my head: “...He’ll try to tell you exactly what you want to hear. Don’t give in...”

  “This isn’t how it happened,” I said, taking another step back from the swing set.

  “We could make this how it happened,” Lucas said softly. “I’m here, and so are you. That’s all we need.” His voice wasn’t echoing everywhere now and definitely came from the boy on the swing.

  “That’s not true!” I told him. “You�
��re a Depression Agent. However you’re here, it’s not really you.”

  “Don’t worry about that. You’re safe here, Lucy.” he said. He talked so calm and invitingly, I found myself taking another step towards the swing set. Something in my heart ached to run over and climb up next to him. But I wouldn’t. He was distracting me from the real problem.

  “I don’t care if I’m safe or not.” I told him. “Chloe’s not safe right now, so stop with the games and bring her out!”

  “Games?” Lucas asked. “What games, Sis?”

  I made a growling sound in my throat out of anger, and gripped the yellow paintbrush. I didn’t know how it worked, but a feeling in my gut started making the rest of my body move before I knew what was going on. I swung the yellow paintbrush and the paint stretched off of it, stretching into a whip as it flew into the swing set. Lucas jumped off of his swing and dissolved into smoke as the paint whip hit it. The swing set stood no chance; breaking in half and falling to the ground.

  I kept a tight grip on my paintbrush-whip, ready to strike at him again. If he dodged the attack, it must be able to do some damage to him. I turned slowly in a circle, watching and waiting for him to reappear.

  “I came alone, just like you said!” I called out. “So stop trying to turn Chloe into a Depression Agent!”

  “I should’ve known you would be too stubborn to leave...” Lucas said, his voice returning to that creepy echo-y thing he was doing earlier.

  “I’m not going anywhere without Chloe!” I said. A few steps in front of me, the grayness shimmered again and Lucas reappeared there. This time he wore his dark green cloak, and his hood was down so I could see his face. He looked nothing like before; his blue eyes had no color and were bloodshot; his hair was a dirty mess; his skin was pale. He looked like he’d been camping out in the forest for weeks, but forgot the sleeping part of it.