Preacher

by Erin Trejo

  “It was all me!” I yell to get their attention. Freak pulls Grave off Preacher and they all turn to face me. “He was so drunk he couldn’t see straight. I got him to sign the papers. I made the people there think he was just so nervous that he was acting that way. I made him do it. I’m sorry! I thought that if I did, then Leo would go away!”

  “You naïve fuckin’ girl. You grew up a Mafia princess, Gaia! What the fuck is wrong with you? You know that’s not how shit works. You put a fuckin’ target on him, on us!” Grave is beyond pissed and I can’t blame him. Tears keep falling from my eyes as the reality of what I’ve done settles inside of me. I messed up.

  “Who knows about this?” Psycho asks softly, not looking at me but at Preacher.

  “No one as far as I know,” he says, his eyes leaping to mine and back.

  “Fuck!” Grave pounds his fist onto the table. “Fuck!”

  “Freak, get her the fuck outta here,” Psycho tells him. No one is looking at me. They are all focused on Preacher, making me feel worse. Freak is the calmer of the four so when I stand and head for the door, I feel a little ease. Freak opens the door and ushers me out.

  “Guess what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas,” Freak mumbles. Just as he pulls the door closed, all hell breaks loose.

  17

  Preacher

  Everything in my path becomes my punching bag. My fists ache and bleed but I can’t stop. I’ve never felt this kind of rage and anger before. The thought of snapping her neck was almost too much for me to walk away from earlier. She’s lucky I did.

  “Calm down,” Grave orders but I can’t stop myself. I break every piece of glass in sight. “I mean it, Preacher!” This time the authority in his voice stops me. I slowly turn to face him, sweat dripping down my temples.

  “I’m so fucked. I fucked this club!” I roar.

  “She fucked this club,” Psycho adds. Fuck him. This isn’t all her fault. I was there. I decided to drink as much as I did. I could have stopped.

  “Say one more word, motherfucker,” I warn him as my hand clenches and I take a step toward him.

  “Don’t even fuckin’ tell me you have feelins for that girl,” Grave says. I turn my gaze to his before flipping him off.

  “I don’t feel shit. I just can’t let her take the full blame for this shit. I was there. I could have stopped.” That fact alone pisses me off. I could have sworn she was drunk. She is a good fucking actress, that much I know.

  “We need to think about this. Can we get an annulment?” Grave asks and I shrug. What the fuck do I know about that stuff? It’s not like I’ve ever been married before.

  “Let’s get Mystic to check shit out. Are we sure it’s even legal?” Psycho asks next.

  “I don’t fuckin’ know, brother. I was wasted.”

  “Let me get on this. For now, just keep it quiet. We don’t need word gettin’ out to Enzo. Go rest. You look like shit,” Grave adds, motioning to the door. I roll my shoulders and head out of the office. As soon as I step out, Freak comes my way.

  “She okay?”

  “She’s fine. Scared though.” I give him a nod but that isn’t my problem. She should be scared. She fucked us all and now she’s sitting in her own enemy’s clubhouse. Strolling down the hall, I shove Hope, a club whore off me when she tries to wrap her arms around me. I don’t care that she’s pissed and cursing me out. I need sleep and to think. Or maybe I need to get my ass drunk and figure this shit out. Opening the door to my room, I step in and close it, locking it behind me. That’s when I see her. Curled into a ball in the middle of the bed, she looks so damn small. I can understand her reasoning for doing what she did. She went about it all wrong but that doesn’t change the fact that she doesn’t want to marry that asshole.

  Shrugging out of my cut, I lay it over the dresser before kicking my boots off. As happy as I am to be back home, I’m worried about what’s going to happen now. Reaching over my shoulder, I pull my shirt off and toss it to the floor before moving to my jeans next. I could use a shower but I’m too damn tired to deal with anything else right now. I climb in the bed, pulling the blanket up over both of us. With a sigh, I reach out and brush the hair away from her face. I can tell she’s been crying.

  “Why didn’t you just talk to me?” I ask, knowing that she can’t hear me. She’s sound asleep. What would that have changed though? Would I really have helped her more than just hiding her? My head’s a mess and I don’t know how to clear it. I’m still beyond pissed but looking at her face, I can’t find it in myself to hate her.

  Sleep never comes. I’ve lain here for hours and nothing. I climb out of bed, grabbing a pair of sweatpants before heading out of the room careful not to wake Gaia. Walking into the kitchen, I grab a bottle of water before sitting at the counter.

  “Couldn’t sleep?” I look up when I hear Loralai. Shaking my head, she comes in and grabs a bottle, filling it with water and adding powder for Faith. I extend my arms and she happily passes her to me. Looking down at the tiny person in my arms makes me think. It makes me realize what’s important in life. Family is. That’s it. There is nothing more to it.

  “She’s so damn cute,” I mumble, watching as she sucks on her tiny hand.

  “She looks like her dad,” Loralai responds.

  “That she does.”

  “You okay? Bryce told me what happened.” I raise my head and lock eyes with her, slightly pissed that the bastard actually told her. What the fuck part of keep that shit to ourselves didn’t he understand? Nevertheless, this is Loralai we’re talking about. She isn’t going to tell anyone.

  “Yeah, well, he has a big fuckin’ mouth.”

  “He’s just worried about you,” she adds. I nod and look back down at Faith.

  “I know. I just… I fucked up so bad this time. I didn’t think.”

  “Maybe it was meant to be. You never know what life is going to throw our way, Preacher. Look at me,” she adds with a shrug. I nod my head, but I know this isn’t what my life was supposed to be. Faith starts crying, and that’s my cue to return her to her mother. Loralai smiles when I stand and pass her back.

  “Thanks, darlin’.” She smiles and walks out of the room as I move out behind her. Heading back to my room, my eyes lock with Gaia’s. She sits in the bed, her knees pulled to her chest. I want to hate her. I want to yell at her, but I don’t know what the fuck to say to her. So I don’t say anything. I walk past the bed and into the bathroom to turn the shower on.

  “You can’t keep ignoring me,” she says behind me.

  “I can if I want to,” I remind her.

  “Preacher, come on. I said I was sorry. What do you want from me?” I turn to her, anger seeping back into my veins.

  “What I want? Right now, I want my cock sucked,” I tell her with a smirk. Gaia takes a step back and I counter her move.

  “You can’t keep forcing me to do things,” she says, sounding unsure of her own words.

  “I can and I will. I told you, you wanted to be my wife, now deal with what comes with it.” Her eyes fill with tears as I reach for her. Grabbing her wrist, I jerk her toward me, her body colliding with mine. Heat simmers below the surface of my flesh, begging for some kind of relief. I won’t deny that I feel an attraction to Gaia. That isn’t the point though. She fucked me over. She fucked me up and now I have to make her realize her mistake in doing that. My lips come closer to her neck and she shudders.

  “Please, Preacher.”

  “Please what? Please bend you over and fuck you against my counter? Please let you suck my cock? What do you want?”

  “Just leave me alone,” she whispers, causing me to laugh. Not a chance in hell. She brought this on herself. Running my knuckles down her cheek, I let my hand slowly wrap around her throat. Her eyes widen as I drag her back into the bathroom with me. I spin us a round, pushing the door closed before lowering my lips to her cheek.

  “You smell so fuckin’ good,” I whisper against her cheek.

>   “Preacher.”

  “Take your clothes off,” I growl, releasing the hold I have on her. I shove her back a step so that she has room to remove her clothes. I drag my sweatpants off and kick them to the side with my boxers as I watch her. Grabbing my cock in my hand, I slowly stroke it. Her eyes follow my hand as I keep moving it. I watch as her cheeks turn pink and she slowly begins to remove her clothes. Her shirt comes off first. She slowly slips her bra off next, then her shorts. When she’s standing there in nothing, I move. Wrapping my hand in the back of her hair, I drag her mouth to mine, kissing her hard. When I pull back, I growl once more.

  “You’re makin’ me crazy.”

  “Please,” she whispers once more, her body arching into me. I want to give her everything, I want to take it all away. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

  18

  Gaia

  We’re back and forth, between fucking and hating. Even when Preacher is buried inside of me, I see the flames building in his eyes. He’s still pissed at me and I can’t blame him for that. I screwed up but at the same time, I fixed my own problem. For once in my life, I did something to fix a situation I had no control over. Part of me wants to feel proud, the other part is shredded by the fact I ruined whatever this was with Preacher.

  I watch him as I sit in the corner where I was told. His presence commands to be seen without him even knowing it. As much as I don’t want my gaze to be drawn to him, it is. I’ve tried looking everywhere but at him, but I can’t.

  “He is nice to look at,” Silla says when she sits down next to me. I glance over at her before looking around the room. I’m sure he probably sent her over here to fuck with me. He’s been doing that with the club whores lately. I get to hear all the tales of how they sucked him off like a porn star. It makes me sick to think about it, but I suppose I deserve the reminder. “I’m not the enemy.”

  “I know.”

  “What’s wrong? I know what happened,” she adds. Of course, she does. I’m sure everyone in the club does and if they don’t, I don’t know why. Preacher has made it a point to wear that piece of shit silver band on his finger. The idea of him really being mine has overtaken my thoughts more than once. I could see myself staying with him, loving him.

  “I don’t know how to fix this. He’s so mad and I’m the one that did it. I need to fix this, Silla. I need my brother to know this was all me so that he won’t come after Preacher or the club.” I sound like a whiny baby. It’s pathetic.

  “You can’t do that. You can’t be away from the club and if Lorenzo knows what happened, he will lose his shit. Just let the guys work out the details. I’m sure they will get this handled.”

  “What if I don’t want it handled?” The words slip out of my mouth before I have the chance to stop them. Silla’s eyebrows shoot up, her mouth falling open. I try to stand but she grabs my arm and pulls me back down next to her.

  “Are you serious?” I nod my head slowly before my eyes find Preacher once more. That girl, Red, is hanging off his side, and he isn’t making a move to stop her.

  “You want to be with him? Like stay married? Live with him?” It’s almost funny how shocked she sounds. A slight smile curls my lips as I nod my head once more. “Then what the hell are you sitting here for while that whore is all over your man? Go get him.” Before I can register what’s happening, Silla has me pulled off the couch and is dragging me toward the guys. She shoves me roughly so that I stumble and fall into Preacher. His large arms wrap around me, holding me steady. I slowly raise my head and look up into the piercing gaze that stares back at me.

  “What are you doin’?” he asks gruffly.

  “Yeah, what the hell was that?” Red huffs, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “I…”

  “She needed you,” Silla chimes in for me. Okay, maybe I don’t like her as much as I thought I did.

  “What the fuck do you need?” The gravel in his voice has me wet. What kind of reaction is that to a man’s voice? Why can’t I stop it?

  “I think you know what she needs,” Silla adds once more. The other guys laugh, but I don’t move. I can’t stop staring up at him. His hand comes up, his knuckles running down my cheek until his large hand wraps around my throat. He leans down, his lips so close to my flesh.

  “You don’t make the rules, remember? If you wanna get fucked, you better ask one of the boys,” he whispers in my ear. Tears prickle the back of my eyes as I swallow hard against his palm. Something flickers briefly in his eyes. If I would have blinked, I wouldn’t have seen it.

  “Don’t be an asshole, Preacher!” Silla yells. Grave growls, Freak smirks, and Katrina looks sadly at me. I step back, trying to get away from him but Preacher’s grip doesn’t falter. Our eyes stay connected for a long minute, just staring into each other’s souls when something hits him. His eyes narrow to slits, his jaw slowly relaxes. It’s almost as if he can see what I’m feeling. Tilting his head slightly to the side, he studies me harder. Slowly, his face seems to relax and something registers in his eyes. His hand slowly slips from around my throat and I take that as my chance to run. I don’t get far when I hear him roar and glass shatter.

  I’m in the room, slamming the door shut before I allow the tears to fall. Sobs shake my body as I pace the floor trying to calm myself down when the door is shoved open roughly.

  “What the fuck was that?” Preacher roars, pointing toward the main room.

  “What was what?”

  “Don’t do that shit, Gaia. I think we’re pretty well past that now, don’t you? What was that shit?” What do I say? What do I tell him? Just spit it out?

  “That wasn’t shit, you bastard! That was me! That was my heart, my feelings. It wasn’t shit!” Hysterical fits of sobs choke me as I fall to the floor on my knees. Covering my face, I don’t want him to see me like this. I don’t want him to see me breaking for him but if that’s what he wants, I’ll do it. I don’t want to be weak for a man, but Preacher isn’t just any man, not anymore, he isn’t. I don’t look up, but I can feel him in the room. It’s not until I smell smoke that I sigh. Is that weed? Is he smoking weed right now? Picking my head up, I look up to see him standing there with a joint in his hand.

  “1 Peter 4:8 says above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” Is he that high already?

  “What?”

  “I’ve sinned. We both have. You don’t love me, Gaia.”

  “You don’t know that,” I add, shaking my head. I slowly shove myself up and stand.

  “I do know that.” His voice, the tone, it’s so low and scared. He’s afraid to let someone love him. He’s afraid of what might happen.

  “You just said it, Preacher. Love covers a multitude of sins. Why can’t I love you?”

  “We’re from two different worlds, Gaia! Do you think that would ever work?” He glares down at me and it hurts. The look in his eyes hurts.

  “It could. We just have to talk to Enzo.”

  “Enzo. Enzo, fuckin’ Enzo! I don’t want or need Enzo’s permission to love someone, goddamn it!” The beer he had in his other hand goes sailing through the room, shattering against the far wall. I cringe but his words linger.

  “What do you mean?” He brings his joint to his lips and inhales deeply before blowing smoke into the air between us.

  “You really want the answer to that?” I swallow the hurt, the hate, the fear and nod my head. “Whatever this is between us, I didn’t want it to end, Gaia. I was the one holdin’ back, not wantin’ to see what was right in front of me. Then you dropped into my goddamn world and ripped it open with your smartass mouth. You think I wanted to hide you?” His anger is the only emotion shining in his eyes right now. It rips at a piece of my heart, knowing that he feels that way, but I also heard the other words. He didn’t want us to end. That’s the part that plays on repeat in the back of my mind. I have to fix this. I have to get to Lorenzo and make this right. I can’t leave things this way. It�
�s wrong, so wrong.

  “I’m sorry, Preacher. For what it’s worth, I really am sorry.”

  “That’s the thing, Gaia. I’m not! I’m not fuckin’ sorry for takin’ your innocence. I’m not sorry for gettin’ fucked off my ass and marryin’ you. I’m not fuckin’ sorry about any of it!” Instead of coming to me like I thought he would after what he just said, he turns and leaves the room breaking me a little more. The door slams and he’s gone. My heart falls to my feet and there’s nothing I can do to make it better.

  19

  Preacher

  “I need a favor,” I tell Psycho as I finish my beer.

  “What’s that?”

  “I need you to hide Gaia.” His head snaps around to look at me, his blue eyes demanding answers that he knows he isn’t going to get.

  “This is a bad idea, Preacher,” he says. I nod my head already knowing full well what I’m about to do is completely fucked up. Yet, I can’t think of a goddamn reason not to do it.

  “I know that.”

  “Then why?” That’s the question I’ve asked myself more than once in the last two days. I’ve kept my distance from Gaia, needing to think and make sure what I’m about to do is the right thing. In my heart, it is. In my head? That’s a whole different story. Anyone in their right minds would rethink this shit but not me. I’m not in my right mind. Not since she showed up.

  “You ever feel somethin’ in your gut that you know is right, even when your fuckin’ head says it’s not?” Psycho snorts a laugh and nods.

  “More than you know, brother.”

  “That’s why I’m doin’ this. My head is tellin’ me to let it all play out, but my gut is tellin’ me somethin’ else.” Tipping the beer to my lips, I sigh as I lean back in the chair. Psycho shifts next to me, nodding his head.

  “What do you need me to do?”