by Lisa Swift
‘That’s all right. I mean, I do too,’ he said, blushing furiously under his hoodie. ‘Can I eat tea in my room? I’m kind of wiped out.’
‘All right. I’ll bring you up a baked potato with cheesy beans, how’s that?’
‘Thanks. Um, am I grounded then?’
‘No, I don’t think I can find it in my heart to ground you after all that.’ She fixed him with a stern frown. ‘But no more disappearing acts, OK? I don’t think my blood pressure can take another one.’
* * *
‘So that was what was bothering him?’ she said to Theo in the kitchen, putting a jacket potato into the microwave. ‘He’s been stuck in the middle of this love triangle with Sophie and Oliver?’
Theo nodded. ‘Sorry. He asked me not to say anything to you.’
‘Well, thank God, that’s all I can say. I mean, poor little love, obviously, but I was so scared it was something dangerous.’
‘I know you were.’
She smiled at him. ‘Uncle Theo to the rescue again, eh? You’re getting pretty indispensable around here.’
‘Ach, I bet you say that to all the boys.’
She patted him on the back. ‘Thanks for looking out for him, Teddy. I feel really bad about your date.’
‘So you should. Table Eight had made it pretty clear I was on a promise, so that was a solid bit of cockblocking from you and young Connor.’
She laughed. ‘You want a drink then?’
‘No, thanks. I already had half a bottle in the restaurant. You go ahead though.’
He flinched and looked the other way as she bent over to take the wine out of the fridge, once again forcing himself not to dwell on his memories of what lay underneath those leggings.
‘Why don’t you give Table Eight a call now?’ Lexie asked as she poured herself a glass. ‘I’m sure that with a suitably grovelling apology, she’d be happy to pick up where you two left off.’
‘No, don’t think I’ll bother. I wasn’t all that into it even before you rang, to be honest. Just couldn’t seem to get in the mood.’
‘How come?’
‘God knows. My mind was wandering all over the place.’ He sighed. ‘No, not all over the place really. To one particular place.’
‘Where was that?’
‘You,’ he said simply. ‘Lex, I can’t stop thinking about that night – me and you. I’ve never enjoyed myself so much in bed with someone.’
She smiled wistfully. ‘I must admit, it’s been on my mind too. I’d forgotten sex could be like that.’
‘It never has been like that for me. I think because we’re mates, it just made it so much easier to lower my defences. I mean, knowing each other inside out, not having to feel embarrassed or second-guess ourselves. Not having to pretend we’re madly in love, just being able to be completely honest about what we want and what we like…’
‘I know.’ She sighed as she took a seat opposite him. ‘But it can’t happen again, as much as I wish it could. We need to stop dwelling on it.’
‘Why can’t it?’ He leaned over the table to take her hand. ‘OK, so I had this idea in the taxi over.’
‘I know what you’re going to say. The answer’s no, Theo.’
‘No, but hear me out. So, you don’t want to date because you’re still married to Daryl, and Connor needs a stable home environment, and it’s all just a bit complicated at the moment, right?’
‘Right.’
‘But you’d quite like to have some sex.’
‘Well, all right, maybe, but—’
‘And I’m a lifelong commitment-phobe with parental abandonment issues who enjoys sex but is getting increasingly bored of hooking up with women I barely know, right?’
‘Is that what it says on your Tinder profile?’
‘Pretty much. So, what do you say we make it a regular thing? I mean, we’d still just be mates, but mates who sleep together. No need to make it exclusive or anything. Dating-wise, we’d both be free agents. There’s no risk of us falling for each other, we know each other too well, so where’s the harm?’
‘Fuck buddies, you mean.’
‘I reckon that sounds a bit utilitarian. “Friends with benefits” sounds nicer to me.’
‘Yeah, and what about Connor?’
‘What about him?’
‘I’m supposed to be a role model for him, Theo. It’s a bit rich for me to sit there giving him lectures about the dangers of underage sex while I’m getting my jollies boffing his godfather on evenings and weekends.’
‘We’d be discreet. There’s no reason Connor needs to know a thing about it.’
‘Hmm. There’d be bother if Daryl found out.’
‘Oh, fuck Daryl,’ he said, scowling. ‘We don’t owe him anything.’
‘I meant he could make life difficult for me. I am legally his wife, and this house belongs to us both. It could affect my position when it comes to the divorce.’
‘Well, were you going to ring him up and tell him?’
‘No.’
‘Neither was I, so there you go. It’s just a simple arrangement: meeting each other’s physical needs without all the hassle of dating. Sex is fun, orgasms are nice, ergo let’s have a few more of them together.’
Lexie fell silent, running a thoughtful finger around the rim of her wine glass while she considered the idea.
‘OK, I won’t say I’m not seriously tempted,’ she said at last. ‘But… well, working together, sleeping together. Looking after Connor. I’m really not sure adding a physical element into our relationship is a good idea, Theo. Sex complicates things.’
‘No it doesn’t, people complicate things,’ Theo said. ‘Sex is about the most straightforward thing there is, if you don’t overthink it.’
‘You really believe that?’
‘Course I do. It’s just good, healthy exercise. Plus like I said before, the endorphins are great for mental wellbeing and stress relief. I mean, that’s actual science, Lex. You can’t argue with science.’
‘But friends don’t do that sort of exercise together. Friends take up squash or join a whist club or something.’
‘I don’t see any reason friends shouldn’t enjoy something a bit more stimulating if they want to,’ he said with a shrug. ‘That sort of arrangement’s hardly unheard of, is it?’
‘I guess some people are able to make it work for them, yes, but—’
‘Lexie, you know me better than anyone. After all these years, are you really going to suddenly fall for me because of a few shags?’
‘Well no, of course not.’
‘And the same for me, so what’s complicated about it? It’s social conditioning that makes us believe sex has to go hand in hand with romantic feelings. Trust me, there’s nothing more liberating than breaking free of that sort of thinking.’
‘OK, now you sound like Tonya,’ Lexie said, smiling. ‘So you’re basically saying regular sex will be no different from going jogging together, are you?’
‘Pretty much. Except we’d be naked, obviously.’
She ran her eyes over his body. ‘I must admit, that part does sound good.’
‘If I really believed it might be a risk to our friendship, I never would’ve suggested it. I don’t want to lose you, Lex.’ He gave her hand a squeeze. ‘I just thought it could be fun, that’s all. We managed it once without any issues, and I think we firmly established then that we’re pretty explosive together.’
‘We did, didn’t we?’ Reluctantly, Lexie drew her hand away from his. ‘But I can’t, Teddy, I’m sorry. I’d like to believe it’s that simple, but I still think seeing each other all day at the restaurant, being mates… it could end up making things messy. You’re the one non-messy thing I’ve got to be grateful for in my life, and I really don’t want to jeopardise that. Let’s keep things how they are, eh?’
He sighed. ‘I had a horrible feeling you were going to say that.’
‘Do you mind?’
‘Of course I don’t mind, if that�
��s your decision.’ He stood to leave. ‘Shame though. We’d have been good together.’
‘I know we would.’ She smiled up at him. ‘Still friends?’
‘Always.’ He leaned down to give her a peck on the cheek. ‘Night, love. See you at work.’
* * *
When Theo had gone, Lexie went upstairs to take Connor his jacket potato. She found him lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling.
‘All right, my little sunbeam?’ she said, ruffling his hair. He smiled at the endearment from his childhood.
‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘Just thinking.’
‘About Sophie?’
‘About lots of stuff. Mum, mostly.’
Lexie put the food down on his desk and went to sit by him.
‘Do you remember much about her?’ she said gently.
‘Little bits. Like, I remember when she used to take me to see Nana she always bought me a comic and a Milky Way on the way home. And when she brought me cocoa, there was this song she sang. Only I can’t remember how it goes now. I wish I could. It feels like I’ve forgotten her when I can’t remember stuff I used to know about her.’
Lexie looked down at him, blinking back tears as she traced the features of the child he’d once been in his face. She knew how that song went. Connor used to hum it to himself all the time when he was a little boy; usually when he felt afraid or upset, missing his mum. Lexie, sensing the tune gave him comfort, had got into the habit of singing it to him at bedtime herself after she moved in with Daryl. She wondered if he remembered when she, too, had sat by his side while he drank his cocoa and sung to him.
‘“Oranges and Lemons”,’ she said quietly. ‘It’s an old children’s rhyme about the church bells of London. Here.’ She sang it softly to him, and he smiled.
‘Yeah, that’s it. Thanks, Lexie.’
‘You’re welcome, sweetheart.’
‘Lexie?’
‘Hmm?’
‘I’m sorry Dad was such a dick to you. You deserved better than someone like him.’
‘Oh, well, I don’t know about that. These things are always more complicated than they seem.’ She tried to make it her policy never to speak badly of Connor’s father in front of him. ‘Besides, I got you out of it, didn’t I? Have your spud now, sweetie, before it gets late.’
Lexie planted a kiss on his curls before going to her own room. She lay down on the bed, feeling a tear slide down her cheek. She wasn’t sure what it had been about that little conversation that had got her all emotional, but there it was.
She rolled over and looked at the empty half of the double bed. Theo wasn’t the only one who’d been dwelling on the night they’d spent together. Not only the sex, which had admittedly been pretty amazing, but the feel of someone else’s skin against hers as Theo had snuggled into her afterwards, lightly stroking her bare flesh while she fell asleep. That feeling that she was no longer alone and unsupported in this big, scary world; that she had someone by her side who’d be there for her when times were tough.
She couldn’t deny she’d been lonely since Daryl had gone. Even after their marriage had broken down and the sex had long since dried up, they’d continued sharing a bed – through habit more than anything – and it had given her comfort of a kind to feel him by her side in the night. The loneliness had been even worse lately than it had when he’d first left. What with worrying about Connor and coping with the pressures of parenthood on her own, it felt so depressing to trudge up to an empty bed night after night. Lexie didn’t want the hassle of another relationship, not at this point in her life, but the night she’d spent with Theo had made her realise that she did miss the companionship of a bedmate – a lover. She missed a pair of tender arms around her as she fell, satiated, safe and protected, into sleep. Someone to hold on to in the dark…
After hesitating a moment, she brushed away the tear on her cheek and reached for her phone to send a text.
I changed my mind. Come in through the kitchen after Connor’s asleep, I’ll leave the back door open x
Chapter Thirteen
Theo smiled at Lexie as she collected a tray of drinks from him at the bar. She flashed him a wink as she shimmied off with them, deliberately giving her hips a little extra wiggle because she knew it got him going.
Their friends-with-benefits arrangement had been in place for three weeks now, and it was working better than he’d ever hoped. He felt like a teenager again, with the forbidden thrill of sneaking around giving an added zing to their lovemaking. Not that they really needed it. They could supply plenty of zing on their own.
The first time hadn’t been a one-off. Lexie was easily the best lover Theo had ever had: uninhibited, fun, daring and beautiful. Theo didn’t know if he could ever go back to the type of sex he’d been having before, now. Still, he was optimistic that this was one relationship he could keep going for a good long time: at least until Lex decided she wanted to start dating again.
One of the best things about it was that Theo knew there was no risk of Lexie getting romantically attached to him, as had occasionally happened with lovers in the past, despite his best efforts to guard against it. They had too strong a bond as friends to ever fall for each other: it was just sex, sweet and simple. There was something very pure about that, in an odd sort of way. It seemed strange to him now that this wasn’t the way everyone chose to conduct their sex lives.
It was so bloody refreshing, too, not to have to flatter and flirt, pursue and retreat; all those daft games that went with dating. It was actually really relaxing, being able to acknowledge that in this case sex was just that and nothing more. No stress, no overthinking; just good old-fashioned intercourse between people who liked and respected one another.
In the past, sex had always felt like something you had to earn; to bargain for. You followed a set pattern of interaction with the other party – the rules of engagement, if you like – until all barriers were down. You flirted, she demurred. You cooled down, she warmed up. She touched, you responded. Always playing the game; a game Theo had grown increasingly bored of this past year or so. But he didn’t need to play any games with Lexie. There was complete frankness and honesty between them, coupled with a thorough knowledge of who the other person was that gave their lovemaking a satisfying simplicity Theo had never before experienced.
It was doing Lexie the world of good too. She looked so young and fresh lately, pink-cheeked and smiling, as she had in the days before she’d moved in with Daryl and the cares of the world had settled on her shoulders. She had something in her life now other than constant worry about Connor and her ever-precarious finances; something simple and joyous that really made her happy.
Knowing she was happy made Theo happy too. His previous relationships, if you could call them that, had always been more or less selfish – although he’d always been careful to select lovers he knew were on the same page as him when it came to intimacy to avoid anyone getting hurt, and of course he’d done his best to ensure they had a pleasurable experience in bed, Theo enjoyed sex and he’d been thinking of himself first and foremost when he sought it out. Now, for the first time, he felt like he wasn’t only doing something to make himself feel good; he was making his friend happy too, improving her quality of life both in and out of the bedroom. Lexie, to him, had never looked more beautiful than she had these last few weeks. Particularly when she had no clothes on.
Not that there wasn’t a physical cost to all those quality orgasms, he thought, stifling a yawn. Hiding what they’d been up to from Connor meant late nights creeping into the house after the boy was asleep, and early mornings sneaking out before he got up for school. It was worth it though. Oh God, was it worth it…
Lexie was smiling at him from across the restaurant, where she was chatting with Claire, the other waitress sharing her shift today. He smiled back, then took the accounts book from under the bar and headed over to them.
‘Claire, do you think you could cope on your own for half an hour?’ he sa
id, flashing her a dazzling smile. ‘Lexie and I could do with going over the figures for the extra staff and catering we’ll be getting in for the festival. Might as well get it over with now while it’s quiet.’
Lexie groaned – slightly too hammily, Theo thought. ‘Oh God, do we have to?’
‘I’m afraid so.’
She sighed. ‘Well, it’s a boring job but it has to be done, I suppose. Will you miss us if we pop up to the flat for a quick meeting, Claire?’
‘No, that’s OK,’ Claire said. ‘If it gets busy I’ll fetch you.’
‘You’d best not leave the restaurant unattended,’ Theo said, casually flicking through the accounts book. ‘Just send me a text if you need us and we’ll jog back down, all right?’
‘Will do, boss. I mean, bosses.’
As soon as they were out of sight Theo was pulling off his tie, Lexie untying her apron. Immediately the door closed on Theo’s apartment, he pulled Lexie to him for a deep kiss, his fingers seeking out the buttons at the front of her dress.
She laughed breathlessly. ‘I thought you wanted to go over some figures.’
‘Just one. It’s under this bloody thing.’ He looked down at her dress. ‘Who chose these uniforms anyway? There must be a hundred buttons on this bastard.’
‘Um, you did?’
‘Well next time, remind me to pick the kind with Velcro.’
He finally got enough buttons undone to push the thing down her body, and Lexie stepped back to let him see her.
‘What do you think?’ she said, gesturing to the suspender belt and seamed stockings she was wearing over her underwear. ‘I’m method 1940s-waitressing today. Consider it payback for the RAF uniform.’
Theo let out a low whistle. ‘Bloody hell, Lex. You look like a Victoria’s Secret model.’
‘You approve then?’
In answer he picked her up, her limbs twining around him, and carried her into the bedroom.
‘You…’ He laid her on the bed and ran his hand up the inside of one silky-smooth stockinged leg. ‘…are a tease. I can’t believe you’ve been wearing that gear all day and I never knew.’
