by Lisa Swift
He took off her bra and she moaned softly as he brought his lips down to caress a nipple.
‘What would you have done if you did?’ she asked.
‘Well, it wouldn’t have been very professional. I’m not sure I could’ve been patient enough not to just hoist you up and go for it right there on the bar.’ He bit his lip as she stripped him of his shirt and ran her hands over his bare chest. ‘Christ, you’re sexy.’
‘Back at you, mate.’
He glanced at her left hand as it glided over his chest. ‘How come you still wear those, Lex?’
She held up her hand to look at the wedding and engagement rings on her third finger. ‘Sorry, are they digging in you?’
‘No. I just wondered, that’s all.’
She laughed. ‘What, you want to talk about that now?’
He slid down her body to draw his tongue over the skin of her tummy, his fingertips trailing lightly over her inner thigh. ‘No, not really.’
‘That feels good, Theo,’ she whispered. ‘If you really want to know, I wear them to avoid unwanted advances from men.’
‘Take them off for me.’
‘Why?’
‘Because if you don’t, I won’t do that thing you like,’ he whispered, flicking his tongue under the waistband of her knickers.
She smiled and twisted them off her finger. ‘All right, if you’re going to fight dirty.’
‘That’s the stuff.’ He unhooked the suspenders so he could slide her knickers off. ‘Something else you don’t need to be wearing at the moment.’
‘We haven’t got long. We’d better call that it for foreplay.’
‘I love it when you go all practical on me.’
‘Good.’ She unzipped his fly. ‘Come on, before they realise what we’re up to.’
* * *
‘Thanks for that,’ Theo said breathlessly as they dressed again afterwards.
‘You too.’ Lexie lifted her hips while she wriggled back into her pants. ‘What we lacked in time I’d say you more than made up for in effort.’
He glanced down at her legs as she hooked her stockings up again. ‘You know, I’m going to really struggle to focus knowing you’ve got those suspenders on.’
‘You want me to leave them off, go the full Nora Batty?’
‘Mmm.’ He nuzzled into her neck. ‘Would you chase me around with a broom?’
‘No. There is such a thing as too sexy, Theo.’ She batted him away. ‘Now get off me and get dressed, naughty sex person.’
He sighed as he buttoned up his shirt. ‘It’s no good, Lex. Suspenders or no suspenders: I fancy you whatever you’re wearing. I’m destined to be hot under the collar the rest of my working life.’
She smiled. ‘Good. Turns me on when I know you’re having impure thoughts about me in the workplace.’
‘Vixen.’ He finished dressing and leaned across the bed to kiss her ear. ‘Shall I come round tonight?’
‘No, leave it till tomorrow. You must be knackered after doing it every day for three weeks straight.’
‘Sometimes twice.’
‘All right, no need to show off. I was there, you know.’
‘Yes, I remember,’ he whispered, nibbling her earlobe. ‘It wouldn’t have been nearly so much fun on my own.’
She pushed his face away from her, smiling. ‘You’d better cut that out, before we end up going for the double again. Catch up on some sleep tonight, eh? Connor’s staying at Oliver’s house tomorrow so you can come over early and we’ll make a night of it.’
‘What, you mean we’ll have time for a full round of foreplay? That’ll be a novelty.’
‘We could even have dinner together. It’s good for us to occasionally remember to have a conversation between shags.’
‘I’ll look forward to it,’ Theo said, standing up and chucking her dress to her. ‘So Con’s staying at Oli’s, is he? Aren’t you worried about him going to another potentially traumatic sleepover?’
‘This one ought to be pretty innocent.’ She slid her rings back on. ‘Their other two friends are going as well. They’re planning to play Dungeons and Dragons all night so I doubt it’s going to get too erotically charged.’
‘Sophie going too?’
She shook her head. ‘No, she’s still not speaking to him. He’s pining away for her, poor little pup. Mind you, he seems better than he was – sad about it but in a healthy sort of way, if that makes sense.’
‘That’s good, I suppose.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘Let’s go back down, before Claire gets suspicious. We’ll pick this up tomorrow.’
* * *
‘Here I am, yours to do as you like with!’ Theo called when he walked into Lexie’s place the following evening, clutching some flowers and a bottle of chilled champagne. ‘I thought we might—’
He stopped short when he reached the kitchen. Connor was there, sitting at the table with his chin on his fists while Lexie cooked.
‘Oh. Hi, Con.’
‘Hiya Theo.’
‘Sorry,’ Lexie mouthed from behind Connor.
‘What’s up, kiddo?’ Theo asked, sitting down at the table. ‘I thought you were going out tonight.’
‘I did, but Oli threw up so his mum said we’d all better go home in case he had a bug. I reckon he probably just ate too much. His mum’s always fussing.’ He frowned at the flowers and bubbly. ‘What’re these for?’
‘Well they weren’t for you,’ Theo said, smiling. ‘The flowers are for Lexie and the champagne was for both of us. We’re celebrating.’
Lexie raised her eyebrows. ‘Are we?’
‘Yes,’ he said, giving her a pointed look. ‘You know, the profits? Up ten per cent on this time six months ago, and we’ve got the big festival to come yet. The Blue Parrot’s on the up, you guys. This time next year, we’ll be millionaires.’
‘Sorry,’ Connor said. ‘I guess you didn’t expect to find me here, right?’
‘I didn’t, but that doesn’t mean you’re not welcome. You probably deserve to toast the place as much as anyone.’ He glanced at Lexie. ‘He can have a glass with us, can’t he? I reckon he’s old enough.’
She smiled. ‘All right, just a small one.’
Theo stood up and went to fetch some flutes from the cupboard next to Lexie.
‘Sorry,’ she said in an undertone. ‘I did text.’
‘Didn’t see it. Never mind.’
He poured two glasses of champagne for himself and Lexie, and a half glass for Connor.
‘Well, to us lot, I suppose,’ he said, raising his glass. ‘May the odds be ever in our favour.’
Lexie laughed. ‘What sort of toast is that?’
‘The best sodding toast I can come up with off the top of my head, that’s what sort.’ He glanced at Connor and grimaced. ‘Sorry, I forgot about the household swear jar. Smegging, I meant to say. How much did that just cost me? Sodding isn’t really a proper swear.’
‘That’s all right, we don’t charge for minor infractions,’ Lexie said. ‘I reserved a few of the more socially acceptable profanities for the sake of my sanity.’
Connor took a sip of his champagne and pulled a face. ‘Eurgh. How do you old people drink this crap?’
‘Crap? How dare you, child,’ Theo said, flicking his ear. ‘That’s good stuff, that is. None of your seven-quid-a-bottle prosecco.’
‘What’s smegging mean anyway?’
Theo stared at him. ‘You’re yanking my chain.’
‘Eh?’
‘Seriously. You are actually kidding?’ He turned to Lexie. ‘He is kidding? I mean, you’re not genuinely telling me he’s got notepads full of fanfic for Stargate, Firefly and pretty much every other sci-fi show ever made spilling off the shelves in his room but he’s never seen Red Dwarf?’
Lexie smiled. ‘You’re a real closet geek, aren’t you?’
‘Well that’s better than being a failure as a parent, which I’ve just discovered you are. All this time, you’ve let the boy fritter his
life away on inferior science fiction while a classic, a classic, was right there for the watching. Lexie Whittle, I’m appalled.’
‘You going to call social services on me?’
‘No, although I’d be within my rights. I’m going to do what any self-respecting godfather would and fix the situation.’ He turned to Connor. ‘Come on, lad, in the living room.’
Connor blinked at him. ‘What for?’
‘For the benefit of your education. Me, you and your mum are having a TV night. I’ve got series one to six I can stream and I’m not leaving until we’ve watched at least the first two.’
* * *
Four hours later, Connor had dozed off next to Theo on the sofa while Lexie sat in the armchair, gazing placidly at the pair of them.
‘Sorry,’ she whispered to Theo. ‘Not exactly the passionate evening I promised you, was it?’
‘Oh, don’t worry about it.’ He glanced at Connor. ‘Actually, I really enjoyed myself – I mean, a very different kind of enjoying myself than anticipated, but this was fun tonight. It’s like you see things you’ve watched a thousand times through new eyes when you introduce a kid to them. I swear, when he laughed at the jokes I felt as proud as if I’d written them myself.’
‘He likes spending time with you. I never realised how much he missed having an adult male influence in his life until recently. Daryl might not have been the world’s greatest dad but he was better than nothing, I guess.’
‘Well, I like spending time with him.’ Theo leaned back and sighed. ‘You know, for years I told myself it hadn’t affected me, growing up without a dad. But when I spend time with Connor… I don’t know. There’s some part of me that almost seems to be trying to compensate for that gap in my life by filling the gap in his.’ He looked at the sleeping boy and smiled. ‘When I feel like he looks up to me, it makes me… makes me think better of myself, I suppose. Makes me want to be that man he thinks I am.’
Lexie smiled too. ‘Welcome to my world. I know that feeling well.’
‘You don’t think he suspects anything, do you?’
She raised a finger to her lips.
‘Hasn’t got a clue,’ she whispered. ‘But we need to be careful, Theo. We can’t risk him finding out.’
* * *
‘No, he doesn’t look like a cat. Well, apart from his teeth. He just is a cat.’
Oli blinked. ‘He’s a cat who doesn’t look like a cat?’
‘Yeah,’ Connor said. ‘Like, he evolved from cats like we evolved from apes, right? So he basically just looks like an ordinary man, only he dresses like Vegas Elvis and is kind of… dunno, just catty.’
‘Sounds weird.’
‘No, it’s dead good, promise.’
‘And it’s like Original Series old?’
‘Next Generation old. This isn’t like Star Trek though. It’s well funny, you should watch it. Theo says Red Dwarf series one to six are classics of the genre. I’ve only watched the first three so far but I’m going to binge the rest this weekend.’ He caught sight of a group of girls walking towards them from the canteen. ‘Look. Sophie.’
‘Don’t bother, bro. You know she won’t talk to you.’
‘Soph!’ Connor called. But she blanked him, making a show of laughing loudly at something one of her new girlfriends said as she passed.
‘Told you,’ Oli said.
Connor kicked glumly at the ground. ‘Can you believe she ditched us for a load of girls?’
‘Well, she is a girl.’
‘Yeah, but that lot don’t like any cool stuff. All they care about is TikTok and K-Pop bands and all that boring stuff.’
‘You ever going to give up on her, Con?’
‘No. I like her, don’t I? Anyway, she can’t totally hate us. I mean…’ He flushed. ‘Well, she never told anyone about what happened. Seems like if she really wanted to get her own back, she’d have spread it all over school.’
‘All right,’ Oli said cautiously. ‘But then why’s she not talking to us?’
‘She’s still pissed off, I guess.’ Connor sighed. ‘I miss her, Ol. I don’t know if I want us to get back together, not right now, but I wish we could be mates again.’
‘Me too,’ Oli said, nodding. ‘You’ve still got us though. I mean, you’ve got me.’
‘Yeah.’ Connor smiled. ‘S’pose so.’
‘So you going to CalderCon in the holidays?’
Connor felt a wave of sadness when he remembered the much bigger convention Sophie had invited him to in Leeds this autumn, to celebrate what would’ve been their eight-month anniversary. She’d go with someone else now: one of her new girly mates maybe, or even a new boyfriend.
‘Dunno,’ he said. ‘Not sure I can be bothered this year.’
‘Come on, it’ll be a laugh,’ Oli said, nudging him. ‘It’s your birthday weekend, you have to do something good. You should ask your stepmum if she’ll take us again.’
‘Maybe.’ He brightened. ‘Or I could ask Theo.’
‘Your uncle?’
‘Yeah – well, kind of. He’s my godfather. He likes sci-fi, plus he’s pretty fun for someone old. Like, cooler than a dad but sort of grown up as well when you need to talk to someone about stuff. I bet he’d even dress up.’
‘Will your stepmum mind you asking him?’
‘Nah, she’ll just be glad she doesn’t have to go. Anyway, Lexie and him have got a thing going on so I guess she’d trust him.’
‘What sort of thing?’
‘You know, a thing,’ Connor whispered, waggling his eyebrows.
‘Oh.’ Oli nodded knowledgeably. ‘That sort of a thing.’
‘Yeah. They think I don’t know but they’re crap at keeping it secret. I can hear him crashing about in the kitchen when he trips over something sneaking in.’
‘Are you bothered? I guess you want her to get back with your dad, don’t you?’
‘No way. Theo makes her happy. Dad never did that.’
‘Yeah, but if she gets with him then your dad might not let you live with her any more. I mean, she’s not your real mum, is she?’
Connor was silent for a moment, frowning. He hadn’t considered what might happen if his dad found out about Theo and Lexie.
‘I guess my dad wouldn’t like it much,’ he admitted. ‘Theo and him were best mates till they fell out. But it’s Dad’s fault. If he’d been nicer to Lexie then maybe they’d still be together. It’s not fair if he treats her like shit for years then tells her she can’t have new boyfriends after they’ve broken up.’
‘You think he’d make you go live with him if he found out?’
‘He can’t make me if I don’t want to. That’s kidnap or something.’ Connor slung his bag over his shoulder. ‘Come on, let’s go see if Crucial and JJ want to play D&D for a bit before the bell goes.’
Chapter Fourteen
‘Oh God, Theo…’ Lexie threw her head back as she rocked her body against his. She gripped his arms, her fingers digging hard into his skin.
‘Now, Lex?’ he whispered.
‘Yes… yes, now…’
He thrust deeper, and Lexie cried out as the familiar waves of pleasure washed over her. Seconds later Theo joined her, clasping her tight against him as his climax pulsed through her body to join the dying embers of her own, and the two of them collapsed – panting, exhausted and satisfied – back into bed.
‘Bloody hell.’ She laughed breathlessly, pushing sweat-drenched hair out of her eyes, while Theo dealt with the spent condom. ‘You know, since we started this I’ve been almost grateful for this daft house. At least Connor’s bedroom is far enough away that we don’t have to be completely quiet.’
‘Me too,’ Theo said, joining her in bed again. ‘Making you scream is my favourite part.’
She smiled. ‘I don’t scream.’
‘You can if you want to, though. I wouldn’t object.’
‘No, sorry. That would definitely be pushing our luck.’ She leaned over him to plant a soft k
iss on his lips. ‘Thanks, love. That was amazing, as usual.’
‘In the top five, definitely,’ he said, nodding. ‘Did you come twice then?’
‘Yep.’
‘Thought so. In that case, I’ll upgrade it to top three.’ He drew her into his arms and kissed her forehead. ‘You’re some girl, Lexie Whittle.’
‘Ta.’ She yawned. ‘We should really knock it on the head for a night and go to the pub or something. We don’t want to forget how to do the non-benefitty friend stuff. One day we’ll need to stop all this, and then we’ll have to remember how to make do with the hobbies we had before.’
‘Well, we won’t have to stop for a while, I hope.’
He leaned up on his elbow and stroked her hair away from her face, smiling as he looked down at her.
‘What are you thinking about?’ she asked, lazily tracing shapes on his chest with the tip of her finger. ‘You’ve got a funny look on your face.’
‘I’m thinking that out of all the women I’ve been to bed with, you’re far and away the most beautiful.’
She smiled. ‘Sweet.’
‘Tell me something about you, Lex,’ he said softly.
‘What do you want to know?’
He shrugged. ‘Anything. Something I don’t know already.’
‘A secret, you mean?’
‘Yeah. A secret. Something you never told anyone, not even Daryl.’
‘Well…’ She thought for a moment. ‘All right, you know Simon Cowell?’
‘Not personally. I sometimes think about him to delay orgasm. What about Simon Cowell?’
‘I met him once. He came into the casino and I got him to autograph a playing card for me. How’s that?’
He shook his head. ‘That’s not a secret, it’s an anecdote. Something about you, Lex.’
She shrugged. ‘I never told you I used to get bullied at school.’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘You? I’d have thought you’d be one of those dead popular girls us lads were all completely intimidated by.’
‘Nope, I was short and dumpy with braces. Then one day sometime in Year Eleven, the puppy fat disappeared, the braces came off and suddenly there were all these boys staring at me.’
