Mind of Danger (Body of Danger, #3)

by Bristol, Sidney

He shook his head. Was that his jaw muscles twitching?

  His frustration was palpable, and she didn’t know what to do. Could she fix this? Or was this how it would be?

  “Come on, don’t worry. You know me.” She pasted on her best smile.

  His brows drew down into a line.

  Was she fooling him even a little?

  He sighed. “I know you, and that’s why I’m worried.”

  “I’m touched you care so much.” That wasn’t a lie.

  “Of course I care. I don’t know what you’re doing with that guy, but it’s obviously got you in some hot water. You’re an over-extender by nature, extremely self-reliant. Will you call for back-up in time? Or is it going to be like tonight again?”

  Jo recoiled a little.

  He knew her so damn well.

  He wanted truth?

  She stared him in the eyes and said, “There is no back-up.”

  “Wait. What?” Now it was his turn to recoil. He stood with his back against the double ovens, eyes wide in horror.

  “It’s not a big deal.” Liar, liar. “It’s a quick job, then I’m out of this. Maybe I can talk you into another coffee when it’s done? This one’s pretty good.”

  “Be serious, Jo. Please?”

  She bit her lip.

  Rebuffed even at pseudo-flirting. Awesome.

  “I should probably go to bed,” she said. Especially if Elias wasn’t going to drop it.

  “Jo...”

  She drained the last of her latte, then set the cup on the counter.

  Elias placed his hand on her arm. He didn’t grab or hold her. Yet that firm touch was better than an anchor keeping her there. “Marjorie, stop.”

  She glanced at his hand, then his face.

  The look on his face stopped her. Concern, maybe a touch of torment, lay open there for her to see his worry. “Will you tell me what’s really going on if I make you that coffee?”

  Her heart screamed, Yes!

  “I don’t know,” she said slowly.

  He was very close to her now. Again. And that did things to her insides. Things that were hard to ignore. “I just want to know you’ll be alright.”

  A lie was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. Not for his peace of mind, not when she knew he’d see through her lie.

  “I don’t know what I’ll be allowed to tell you. How’s that?” It was the truth.

  His brows rose. “So there’s someone sending you into whatever this is by yourself?”

  “Yes.”

  Elias shook his head. “I know you’re capable. I know you’re skilled. I’m not trying to... Fuck. I just—it’s hard to not worry. Okay?”

  Her heart melted.

  This was why she’d always had a soft spot for him.

  Jo turned to face him, looking into his deep brown eyes. She’d never forget seeing him after his accident. He’d wrestled with the torment so hard, and all she’d wanted to do was ease his pain. But she couldn’t.

  “I know what you mean,” she said. “Honestly? It’s nice knowing someone gives a shit.”

  His brow furrowed more, somehow. “Jo...”

  He didn’t want to ask her questions she’d have to avoid.

  “Let’s stop doing this, okay? You want me to tell you something I can’t. Can we just be two friends who haven’t seen each other in a long time? Please?” She selfishly wanted to enjoy this time. She didn’t want to go to bed and leave things like this. Not when she saw him once every few years.

  “Okay.” He nodded and his features relaxed back into the face that was burned into her memory. “Just two friends hanging out. I just—you know you can call me for anything, right? Tonight, tomorrow, next year. I don’t know what you’re doing where you have to go it alone like this. You don’t have to tell me. I’m not going to ask. I will worry though.”

  Jo swallowed, or tried to.

  One of the reasons she’d gone into undercover was that she had few ties. No significant other. Her family couldn't care less if she were alive or dead. All of her friends were scattered across the country or still in the military.

  She wasn’t used to someone caring what she did or how she was. And for it to be Elias? That just made it sting, while also making her want to think about being a little more careful. Because Elias was out here caring about what happened to her.

  Jo’s insides wobbled, and she felt something inside of her buckling. She swallowed again and blinked a few times, but the wobbles were still there. For months she’d held it together, but a little time around Elias and suddenly she felt out of control, out of her element.

  “Something wrong?” he asked.

  “No. No, not at all.” She turned and took a step before realizing the only thing in front of her was the dead-end kitchen.

  Shit.

  “Jo?”

  She turned again.

  Elias blocked her easy escape. He had that worried look back on his face.

  “Stop looking at me like I’m about to fuck up,” she snapped.

  “Sorry,” he muttered.

  “I don’t want an apology.” She pressed her fingers against her temples. Was this a bad idea? Being here with him?

  Jo had forgotten the other side of being around Elias. The part where she got flustered and let her feelings for him trip her up.

  “Okay.” He backed up a step. “How about I go to bed, give you some space?”

  “Fine.”

  Elias’s mouth twisted up.

  She closed her eyes. “Okay, it’s not fine, I’m just weird. Okay?”

  “Is this the kind of thing you want to talk to another woman about?”

  “What? No.” The last thing she wanted was some nosey broad in her business.

  “Can you tell me what you need? What I should, or can, do for you?”

  She laid her hand on his bicep. “You’re doing it just by being you. You’ve already done so much. I can’t ask for anything else.”

  “Okay, so...” He blew out a breath. “How are you these days?”

  She chuckled. Small talk. This she could handle. “Good.”

  “Good? That’s it?”

  “I work a lot. It’s kind of all I do.”

  “And your mom? Sister?”

  She swallowed. He remembered? “Still the same. We talk maybe once a month, maybe. No holiday plans, obviously. You?”

  “No plans either.”

  “Really? I would have thought the way your sisters were having kids you’d have a lot going on.”

  “Nope. They both married into big families with long-standing traditions. Mom and Dad don’t want to be part of that much stress, so we do a vacation and the family reunion instead.”

  She couldn’t help glancing at his left hand. No ring. No tan line. Not even the slight indentation of a ring he used to wear. “They haven’t managed to marry you off yet?”

  “Ah, no.”

  “What? Is there a girlfriend I should know about?” Jo peered over her shoulder.

  “No. Nothing like that.” He chuckled.

  No wife. No girlfriend or kids. And no Christmas plans, from the sound of it.

  The rest of the world was wrapped in a happy, festive bubble, and here they were.

  “What about you? No, Mr. Walker?” Elias asked.

  “Nope. Most guys don’t really know how to handle the knowledge I can kick their ass. Makes finding common ground tough.”

  He nodded slowly.

  How was he human? How could he be so... good? After everything he’d been through, all the bumps in the road she’d heard about, how was he still like this?

  She sure as hell didn’t deserve him.

  “My younger sister tried setting me up when I first went back to live with Mom and Dad after... Anyway, this girl wanted fix me.”

  “Fix you?” Jo knew her eyes were wide.

  He nodded again.

  Trauma issues were more common in her circles than anyone wanted to admit. But no human could
fix another, not with the inside stuff that wasn’t physical. That was arrogance on another level.

  She tipped her chin up and stared into his eyes. “Well, I like you just as you are. So, don’t change, okay?”

  “I don’t know about that...”

  “I mean it.” She took a deep breath. If this job killed her, did she want any regrets? “I don’t know how much you knew about me when I joined you guys, but... The way you treated me, the way you accepted me... Things could have gone bad. Real bad. But, they didn’t. And I credit that to you.”

  “Jo... You give me too much credit.”

  “Shut up and take the compliment, okay?”

  He smiled. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “You should do that more often.”

  “What?”

  “Smile.”

  Elias blinked and his lips parted.

  “What? No one’s ever told you to smile more?” She snorted.

  “Can’t say I’ve heard that one.”

  She leaned toward him. “Wait, are you blushing?”

  He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the kitchen sink to his right. “It is not every day a woman tells me to smile more, I’m not sure what’s happening.”

  “Just go with it. That’s what I do.”

  Elias shook his head. His cheeks had taken on a reddish hue that made him both masculine and adorable.

  She held up a hand. “Okay, that’s what I do most of the time.”

  He glanced around, looking everywhere but at her. “I want to tell you to smile, but I’m afraid you’d kick my ass.”

  She squinted a bit, as if considering. “Hm, I think I’d let you.”

  His gaze slid to hers. “Yeah?”

  She grinned. It was impossible not to. “What am I going to do with you?”

  Her imagination supplied several suggestions.

  He grinned back at her. “Apparently make me into your coffee bitch.”

  “Do you need an apron, too?”

  “Hey now.”

  She laughed, though her mind was quick to supply her with a mental picture of Elias in an apron and nothing else. Great. Because she needed more things to torture herself with.

  “Okay. Okay.” She held up her hands. “I’m going to crash now.”

  Might as well end on a high note.

  She turned, not sure where she was going, but away from Elias was a start.

  “Jo? Wait.”

  His big, warm hand wrapped around hers. Startled, she froze and stared down at their joined hands. Her fingers twitched, instinct making them want to curl around his.

  “Sorry.” He let go of her and nodded toward the short hall. “I just, um, you should take one of the big rooms.”

  She wished she could peel back the layers and understand him better. If she could go back in time, she’d have reached out. She’d have stopped being a chicken and overthinking things because she had unrequited feelings.

  “Okay. Thanks,” she said.

  Elias hooked his thumbs into his pockets and remained where he was. There was no move to come to her, touch her or stop her from walking away. Her heart wanted more, but she couldn’t force it.

  Besides, if something was going to happen between them, wouldn’t it have started by now?

  She grabbed her backpack from where she’d left it hanging off one of the barstools.

  “Night,” she said over her shoulder and struck off toward the fabled larger rooms.

  Jo couldn’t shake the feeling that she was missing something. That there was this thing she should have done, or be doing.

  It had to be the lack of sleep messing with her. Her emotions were all over the place thanks to the adrenaline of the car chase. That had to be it.

  A full belly, a shower and sleep would make her right again.

  Jo went into the second room and closed the door behind her.

  “Wow...”

  Elias had not lied.

  The carpet was thick, plush and a pale gray. Different from the hardwoods in the rest of the condo. Whoever had decorated the place had an eye for magazine chic. Everything was soft grays and fuzzy whites with a few chrome accents. Cool and comforting.

  A king sized bed dominated the floor space and a large TV hung on the wall. She had a private bathroom and balcony access.

  “I could live in here,” she mumbled to herself.

  She reached up and pulled the elastic out of her hair. It felt good to run her fingers through it. Next, her boots and socks came off.

  The carpet was simply heavenly between her toes.

  This was the life she’d never have. But it would be nice for a night.

  Elias’s grin came to mind.

  Yeah, that was a pipe dream. She’d settle for the tangible luxuries.

  She stripped off her long sleeve shirt then went to investigate the bathroom.

  “Holy mother of...”

  Jo stood in the doorway and stared at the soaker tub, the shower that could fit five, the vanity...

  She made up her mind right then and there she was going to fall asleep in that tub. It seemed like a crime not to. If she couldn’t have the man fantasy, she’d take the tub instead.

  4.

  Wednesday. Aegis Group Safe House, Seattle, Washington.

  Elias groaned and turned to face the ovens. He let his head fall forward against the cool glass.

  What the hell was wrong with him?

  For some reason, he kept drawing things out. Deep down he knew it was because he wanted to bask in Jo’s presence a little while longer. It was nice to pretend they were two normal people just hanging out. In reality, she needed rest. And probably time to line up whatever it was she was doing here in Seattle.

  Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

  It was done.

  She was off to bed and he would... probably be up most of the night pacing. He couldn’t help it. With no idea what she was up to, he was bound to worry. It wasn’t even specific to Jo. Whenever a client had a particularly tough case and things were dangerous, Elias often sat up waiting for some kind of news. He was grateful Zain never questioned Elias’ hours or use of the bunk room. Hell, some weeks he barely went home for a change of clothes.

  Most of the guys who worked at Aegis Group had their own demons. They couldn’t always help each other defeat them, but not having to explain odd hours or habits relieved a great deal of stress.

  Then again, Elias could get out of it altogether if he picked a different occupation.

  No.

  He wouldn’t do it; no matter what his brain said would be the smartest thing for him. His heart wouldn’t let him. He might have been kicked out of the military for his injuries, but that hadn’t stopped the driving force that sent him into the Army. He still wanted to help people. And if that meant losing a little sleep, so be it.

  At least the condo had cable. He could stay in what he called the gatehouse room, a tiny bedroom just off the front door, set up with the building security feeds and play guard dog while whatever new movie was on played in the background.

  He turned to survey the kitchen, then spotted Jo’s cell phone still on the charging dock.

  “Shit,” he muttered.

  He checked that it was fully charged, then unplugged the device. It was impossible not to notice the utter lack of notifications as the screen bloomed to life. Not a one.

  Wasn’t there anyone out there checking up on her?

  “Jo?” he called out.

  No answer.

  Elias crossed to the hall. She’d taken one of the middle rooms; it was the only one with the door closed. He tapped on the door and tilted his head to listen for movement inside.

  “Hey, Jo? Sorry, but you forgot your phone. Jo?”

  Still no answer.

  He grimaced and shoved his knee-jerk concern down deep. She’d been in there for a few minutes. Nothing bad had happened to her. It was just his overactive imagination.

  “Jo?” He tapped on the door once more. “I’m going to—�
��

  The door swung open and Jo stood there, her hair free to hang around her shoulders and swaddled in one of the fluffy robes kept in the closet of each room.

  “Oh, uh, sorry. You forgot this.” He thrust the phone at her and averted his gaze.

  “I’m in a robe, dumb ass. Nothing you haven’t seen before.”

  “You’re right.” He chuckled.

  Only, it wasn’t the same thing. Her changing in a dark tent covered in sand was out of necessity. This was different. Almost intimate.

  “Thanks.” She took the phone and pocketed it without looking at the screen.

  Was she not expecting back up or help of any kind?

  He wished she could loop him in on this.

  “Jo?” He took a half step toward her and braced his hand on the wall.

  She tilted her chin up a bit. “Hm?”

  “Be careful out there, okay?”

  One side of her mouth hitched up. “Where’s the fun in that?”

  “I’m being serious. I’m worried. I know you can’t tell me what you’re doing, and I trust you to know what you’re getting into. None of that stops me from being concerned.”

  Her smile faded, and she blinked at him as though his words surprised her.

  Okay, so maybe a real man didn’t run around telling people he was worried about them. He didn’t have a choice. Elias didn’t trust himself in combat situations anymore. It was why he worked behind the lines. Tonight might have gone smoothly, but what if he lost it under pressure? What if he’d overreacted while bullets were flying?

  No.

  It wasn’t a risk he wanted to take. Not when other lives could depend on him. Instead, he played his part at his desk, doing the less glamorous and exciting work that kept the machine running. Tonight though, tonight he wanted to be different.

  A little wrinkle developed between Jo’s brows. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to that.”

  He swallowed hard.

  His family had been the type to send him extra care packages to share with those who didn’t get mail often. One had always gone to Jo. In all the time they’d been in the trenches together, he didn’t think she’d ever received anything from home. Hell, he remembered a few months into their first deployment she’d been involved in a very minor wreck on base and had to get stitches. She’d been so confused when Elias and a few of the guys showed up to check on her.