by Beck, J. L.
“Don’t do this, Seth.” A girl tugs on his arm, her eyes pleading.
“Maybe listen to your girlfriend,” I say with a sneer, nagging him on. I want him to hit me first, to make the first move because as soon as he does, I’m going to knock his lights out.
Shrugging her off like I had hoped he would, he rolls up the sleeves of his shirt and stalks toward me. Clenching his fist at his side, he rears back and aims for my face, but being the amateur that he is, he misses his mark by a mile.
My vision turns black, and all I do is react, my movements are fluid, and I’m aware that my knuckles are colliding with skin and bone, but I don’t care. Screams pierce the air, pierce through my ears, but all I see in that instant is Alberto, his arm wrapped around my girl, his lips whispering into her ear.
All I see is the woman I love slipping through my fucking fingers.
16
My father couldn’t have said what I think he did. My stomach churns, and bile rises up my throat at the knowledge. I do my best to keep it together, shoving all my emotions into a tight little box that I promise to let out later.
I have to be strong in front of Matteo. I can’t let him know that I’ve been caught off-guard by his announcement. Alberto, of course, takes full advantage, leaning into my side, wrapping his arm around me as if we’re a couple, and I don’t want to stab him with the steak knife in front of me. His lips are so close to my ear, I can hear every inhale and exhale that passes them. “Don’t look now, but your little boyfriend looks like he wants to kill me. Should I reach for your tit, or do you think that would be pushing it?”
I can’t even get the word no to come out of my mouth before I’m shrugging his arm off my shoulder. “There is one thing Zane will always have, and that’s my love.” Twisting around in my seat, I glance over my shoulder and to the spot where Zane is supposed to be standing. There’s no one there. The spot is empty, and I know… I just know that something bad has happened. Where did he go?
Panic claws at my insides, wrapping its slimy hands around my heart.
“We will have more news to share, but just know the Castro family is strengthening its ties, and soon, we will be the strongest family this side of the Mississippi.” The people around us erupt with cheers, and my father descends the steps, coming back down to the table.
Pushing from my spot, I meet him around the side of the table.
“Zane is gone. I need to go and find him.” I say, leaning into his face. Matteo’s features become harsh, menacing.
“No, you need to worry about your obligations to this family. Zane is no one to you. In fact, I was going to wait to tell you this till after the event, but I figure there isn’t any point in elongating the heartache that will ensue.”
“What are you talking about?” I bite out, afraid of what he’s going to say next.
He smiles, and my heart clenches in my chest. “Look, I gave this whole Zane and you having a secret relationship a chance, but obviously neither one of you can handle it. He is a liability.”
“But… I don’t understand. What are you saying?”
“I’m saying if you do not get rid of Zane, I will have no choice but to get rid of him. And by that, I mean, I will kill him. I honestly planned to allow him to stick around and be by your side, but his antics have made me think twice about that. He is now more of a risk than he is an asset.”
Shocked, my mouth pops open before I can snap it shut. My biggest fear is now becoming my reality, and all over again, I’m faced with losing Zane.
“I…” I don’t even think my brain hasn’t quite comprehended what he’s said yet. “I… I love him,” I whisper harshly.
Matteo leans in, a single finger tracing down the side of my cheek. “I know, sweetheart, which is why I’m giving you the chance to end things with him. Make him go away so that his death doesn’t rest on your shoulders because, I promise you, if you don’t make him leave, I will end him myself. The choice is yours, Daughter.”
The world beneath my feet shifts, and I grab onto the nearest chair to steady myself. Zane will die if I don’t make him leave, but making him leave isn’t going to be easy. It will mean breaking his heart. It will mean having to lie to him. Protecting him, will ultimately end everything that we have, and still, there isn’t a way around it. Matteo isn’t lying, there isn’t a doubt in my mind that he will kill Zane. We’ve been heading toward this scenario since the day he went to him to rescue me.
I have to do this because the alternative is so much worse.
“I understand,” I whisper to my father.
A smile splits across his face, and he nods. “I knew you would. You’re a smart girl, Dove.”
Before he walks away, I grab him by the arm. “Give me at least three days, please?”
Matteo looks as if he wants to say no but then opens his mouth to speak. “Three days. I’ll give you three days, but that is all my little bird.”
Little bird. The nickname causes a horrible reaction in my brain. The urge to vomit is strong. The mere thought of going without Zane terrifies me. It makes the game I’m playing more intense, more real, because with Zane out of the picture, the only person I’ll have to save me is myself. Forcing myself to take a couple calming breaths, I resurface, realizing that I still have to play the role of Castro’s obedient daughter.
For the next two hours, I think of Zane while forcing a smile onto my lips as my father parades me around like a trophy, and Alberto is slapped on the shoulder and told what a prize he snagged. By the time the sun starts setting, my father is two sheets to the wind and in a deep conversation with an allying family.
Slipping from the dining hall, I head toward the bathroom. It’s been hours since I last saw Zane, and I need to find him. Deep down, I know he wouldn’t leave me here. He knows I have nothing to do with this, though that wouldn’t stop him from acting out on his rage and jealousy.
Around the same time he disappeared, there was a commotion out in the garden. A man had beat the crap out of another man. Matteo’s men rushed out to break up the fight, but when they arrived, the other man was already gone.
Something tells me that was Zane, and all I can do is hope that he’s okay while I bide my time till I can go and find him. Walking into the bathroom, I plan to stay inside just long enough to get some of the guards off my tail, so I can start my search. Matteo’s men are vigilante as hell, and getting around them has been difficult, to say the least.
Placing my hands face down on the sink, I stare at my reflection in the mirror.
Can I really do this?
I nearly lost him once before, can I be the one to push him away, to end our perfect love story? Tears sting my eyes. This isn’t going to end well. Zane will see right through me, right through my lies, and deep into my soul. He’ll know I’m lying, and that something else is going on. I’ll have to look him right in the eyes and tell him I don’t love him anymore. That I don’t want him to be in my life. When that is as far from the truth as anything.
Letting him go is going to kill me, but there isn’t another option.
The minutes tick by slowly, and thankfully, no one else comes into the bathroom to witness my break down. I can’t possibly stay hidden in this bathroom all night. I have to find Zane and make sure he’s okay, but leaving this space is subjecting myself to the mayhem beyond these four walls.
Forcing myself to leave the bathroom, I turn and walk out the door. I make it all of ten feet down the hall, my heels clacking against the exquisite floor, before a hand clamps down on my shoulder and whirls me around.
The air expels from my lungs when I’m shoved against the nearest wall, and Alberto’s face comes into view.
“Hiding from me?” The whiskey on his breath tickles my nose, and I struggle against his firm grasp. His eyes are bloodshot, and I know after watching him for the last two hours, that he’s had more to drink than he should have.
“No, now please, let me go,” I say firmly, pushing against his chest, but
pushing him is like trying to move a mountain. My movement only entices him further, and he leans in, his lips descending on mine. At the last second, I manage to turn my face, and he lands a sloppy kiss against my cheek.
“Oh, it’s like that, huh? Am I not good enough for you?” His hand grabs onto my tit, squeezing painfully, and a ragged hiss passes my lips. I clench my fist and swing my arm, hitting him in the side of his head. Unfortunately, my punch doesn’t have much force behind it, and since he is drunk, his pain tolerance is down. He just chuckles at my feeble attempt to hit him.
“Stop, I don’t want to do anything with you until after we’re married.”
“Awe, why not? I know you fuck Zane.” Leaning in, he drags his lips across my neck, sucking harshly.
“Stop!” I say a little louder, preparing myself to push him away, but before I can, a shadow falls over us, and Alberto is ripped away and tossed to the ground like a piece of trash.
I’m about to jump into Zane’s arms, telling him how sorry I am, and that he was right about everything. Instead of lunging forward into my lover’s arms, I’m frozen in place. It takes me a good second to realize it’s not Zane standing in front of me but someone else entirely.
Ivan.
“I-Ivan…”
“Hello, Dove,” he greets me casually as if we’re two old buddies who happen to be at the same party. Peeking behind him, I notice that he is not alone. With him is a man of similar stature, who is just as scary and daunting looking as him.
“Um, hi,” is the only thing I can manage to say. I’m not really sure if I should be scared or relieved to see Ivan right now. Why is he here? Surely, Matteo didn’t invite him, the way he talks of the Rossi family, I’m sure he’d rather eat his own shit than dine with them.
Behind Ivan, Alberto is trying to get off the ground. He only barely manages to stand on his own, more like swaying on his feet. He opens his mouth to say something but then stops himself when recognition sets in. Oh, he definitely knows Ivan and whoever this other man is, and from the way his body is trembling, it’s clear he is scared of them.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Alberto snarls after a moment of composing himself.
The man I don’t know shrugs. “Heard there was a party, figured we’d check it out. Kinda pissed we didn’t get an invite.”
“Cut the crap, Roman. Why are you really here?”
“Congratulations on your engagement,” Ivan says, both interrupting and changing the subject. “You seem like a lovely couple. Do you always have to force girls, or is there actually someone who touches your dick willingly?”
“Fuck you, Ivan,” Alberto slurs before storming off. How wonderful of him to leave me standing with two giant men in an otherwise empty hallway.
“You okay?” Ivan asks a moment later, his facial features softening, but only a little.
“Yes, thank you,” I reply, smoothing a hand down my dress, mainly because I need something to do with my hands.
“This is my brother, Roman.” He introduces the man next to him. Ah, brothers, that makes sense now. “Why the hell are you engaged to that douche?”
“It’s a long story.” I shake my head, not wanting to tell him the whole story right here in the middle of the hall, where anyone could hear. “Why are you here?”
“We heard Castro was making a big public announcement. Xander wanted us to check out what he was up to. Gotta admit, I wasn’t expecting this.”
“Yeah. Believe it or not, I wasn’t expecting this either.”
Ivan looks shocked. “Oh, wow. Well, shit. Where is Zane?”
“Around here somewhere. I’m pretty sure he got into a fight after the big announcement.”
“Well, folks, I would like to stay and chat,” Roman announces, “but I think we should head out before dipshit gets back with a small army because he is too scared to fight his own battles.”
“Yeah, that might be a good idea,” I say, looking down the hallway to see if any of my father’s men have noticed I’m missing. Now would be the perfect time to disappear, but it’s not worth it, not after hearing we’ll be shot without warning if we try to leave the grounds.
“Take care,” Ivan says before turning to walk away. I watch them leave via the exit and then head back to the party to try and find Zane. Back in the main room, I scan the crowd. Alberto is sitting next to my father at the table. He’s glaring at me like he’d like to strangle me. I’m surprised he didn’t tell my father about Ivan and Roman, then again, I’m sure he doesn’t want me to tell my father about what he did either.
Not wanting to sit down with them again and endure more pretending, I head to the bar. As I walk through the crowd, I notice everybody staring at me as if they’re sizing me up or something. Some people actually look scared when I walk by them, making space for me to walk through.
The whole thing is surreal, and I feel nothing but out of place and misunderstood. I almost turn back around and walk back to the table out of desperation when I spot Zane at the bar. Knowing that I can’t make a scene, I take the seat next to him without looking over.
“Can I get a glass of water, please,” I ask the bartender whose attention I catch.
“Of course. Sparkling or still?”
“Sparkling sounds great.” I barely finish my order before he produces a glass and a small bottle of water in front of me. “Thank you.”
“No champagne to celebrate?” Zane whispers next to me.
“Stop it. You know that I don’t want this,” I say in a hushed voice, so only Zane can hear me. “Do you think I’m happy about this?” I ask and take a sip of my water.
Putting his elbow on the bar top, he lets his head fall into his hand. “I know, but that doesn’t make this any easier.”
“I’m going to ask Matteo to take us home. There we can talk.” I get up from my seat and weave through the crowd, back to our table.
Matteo and someone I don’t know, are deep in conversation when I get there. So, I tap my father lightly on the shoulder to get his attention.
He stops talking and looks up to see who dares to interrupt him. “Dove, you enjoying the party?”
“It’s a lovely party, thank you for planning all of this, but I’m rather tired, and I’d like to go home. Do you mind having someone take me back to the house?”
Alberto perks up next to him. “I can take you.”
“I would rather have someone less drunk take me home,” I insist.
“Of course, dear. Let me get someone for you.” Matteo smiles and waves over some of his men. “Take my daughter home,” he orders, and the men nod.
“Thank you, Father. Enjoy the rest of your night.” I force out the pleasant words when all I want to do is strangle this man with my own hands. I don’t care if he is my father or if we share blood. This man is pure evil, and I’ll do whatever it takes to stop him.
I follow the two men out of the main room and to the front door. By the time we make it to the car, Zane has caught up to us. We drive back to Matteo’s mansion in silence, not wanting to talk in front of the men, but I know this silence will be over once we are alone.
We park right in front of the house. I get out as soon as the car comes to a standstill. Zane follows me inside the house just as my father’s men do. But unlike Zane, the men stay downstairs.
When we are finally inside the containment of our room, we both sigh deeply.
“I can’t do this, Dove. I can’t watch you with them, with some other guy… even if you are pretending. It’s like my worst nightmare playing out in front of me. I love you too much. I can’t stand this. I’m scared, Dove. Scared! I don’t even remember the last time I experienced that feeling, but I am now. I’m scared of losing you, losing us.”
“I know…” My voice is raw with emotion, I’m feeling everything he just said. “I hate this too, but if I need to gain Matteo’s trust. I need him to give me freedom so we can get away. If we try again now, he’ll kill you, and lock me up.”
Zane growls in annoyance, knowing that I’m right. Frustration and anger come off of him in waves, and I know if I don’t calm him down, he is going to punch the wall or something.
“Can we just lie down so you can hold me? Please, I just need you to hold me,” I whine.
Zane nods and starts taking off his clothes before helping me out of my dress. Together we crawl into bed and under the blanket. He pulls me to his chest, and I snuggle up to him as close as I can. I don’t know how long I can have him like this, and for tonight, I don’t want to think about this either. I let his warmth engulf me, let his unique scent calm me, and the steady beat of his heart lull me to sleep.
17
Something terrible is going to happen. I can feel it. Dove is acting stranger than usual. After the event the other night, I poured my heart out to her, confessing my biggest fears, and instead of bringing us closer, she seemed to be pushing us further apart. She is shutting down, and I feel helpless against it. I wasn’t lying when I told her I was scared. I’m scared shitless. I feel like I’m fighting a battle I can’t win. I feel like I’m watching her getting sucked into this world. Something I’ve been trying so hard to avoid.
I need to do something, change my tactics, so I can stop this. I need to stop this before all is lost. Before my Dove is tainted by Matteo even more.
She is not only pulling away from me mentally but physically as well. Yesterday she spent most of the day in Matteo’s personal library, preferring to read a book than spend time with me. This morning after breakfast, she disappeared into the library yet again.
Tired of waiting around for her, I leave the room and head toward the library. Every guard I pass looks up at me, their watchful eyes examine me and my mood.
When I enter the grand room, filled from top to bottom with books, I find Dove curled up on a chair by the window. A book laying on her lap. Her head snaps up when she notices me walking in. I’m surprised to find her eyes puffy and red like she’s been crying.
